Home Forums Forum Administration Questions My sister-in-law story

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Irulan 5 years, 8 months ago.

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  • #159661


    My sister-in-law about 28 years ago was in a car accident, she hasn’t been the same since. She was a young lady at the time and her legs were badly damaged. They had to put plates in her legs and she was at the age of still growing. She has had many surgeries and a lot of pain along the way. Years later she had a mini stroke due to her health with her legs. She recently lost her son to a drug over dose. Just before Christmas her only transportation her car broke down. Her brother my husband and my son helped with the cost and the repairs to her car. My son went to his aunts house to take his aunt to get things going regarding her car. My son told me later that his Aunts house was horrible and said it was liking watching an episode of Hoarders. Do you go to homes and help out families who just need a break in life. She has a daughter living with her and her grandchild. Its hard for me to say this but the daughter isn’t any help and just adding more to her mother. My sister -in-law legs swell up if she is on them to long. I can’t imagine if I lived with my mother and the living conditions were like that I would clean the place up. How do you raise a baby in those conditions.

  • #200622


    My sister-in-law story

    Michelle, this comes up over and over. If the problem is just overwhelm, helping clean up works and the person who lives in squalor is usually pretty happy and willing. But most people in that case ask for help before they are actually in squalor.

    If the person has the mental illness that causes hoarding (whether it’s OCD or something else, which professionals are still kind of up in the air about) they will respond to cleanup efforts with anger, abuse, and stonewalling, or just quickly re-hoard the area cleaned. Their family members get worn out and stop trying, much like family members of addicts and alcoholics.

    If your son wasn’t exaggerating, and you think the situation is temporary (caused by grief and illness) then it’s totally worth trying to help. But otherwise there might not be anything you or anyone else can do, except maybe offer the younger one a better place to stay with her baby (assuming she’s not the source of the problem.) Or if you’re really concerned about the baby, visit and take them places like a mall with a play area or a kid’s museum or a park, where the baby can have safe space to get important developmental play.

  • #200723


    My sister-in-law story

    Can you contact Adult Protective Services in her area? They may be able to offer some solutions in terms of mental health care or other assistance. At the very least, they can conduct welfare checks on the family.

    Also, do the conditions described by your son lead you think that the child is in immediate danger?

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