Home Forums Welcome Hello! I have got a contradictory thought >

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    • #159025

      For me, before I buy something to home, I would think “carefully”, e.g do I really like it? Because I seldom like something, most of my money just spent on consumable goods, such as food, shampoo etc. The probability for me to like a good(non-necessity) is very low. I am comfort with this method to make sure I’m not overpurchase. However, when time goes by, there is still a certain level of stuff(non-necessity). But I already like the goods very much, How can I get rid of them?

      Because during uncluttering process, when we review the stuff, we would think why we bought the stuff before, so that to make us have less purchase next time, but how about you already like the good “very”(x1) much, does it imply you should buy the good that you like “very very”(x2) much next time, and “very very very”(x3) much in the third time? It would just be more and more difficult to get rid of those goods because you like them more and more.

    • #177683

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      i get what you are saying.
      when we have winnowed down our possessions to just the most beautiful/meaningful/useful (in our own eyes)…then it is increasingly difficult to further divest ourselves of our stuff.
      yes, it is.
      but, is it the ultimate goal to get rid of everything?
      i don’t think so.
      we are human beings and we need a certain amount of stuff.
      that amount is being hotly debated all over the internet!
      everyone has an opinion on what they need.

    • #177684

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      I can’t stay away from Unclutterer today 🙂 HRH Dalai Lama speaks of possessions in very buddhistic terms in his book Happiness written by Howard C. Cutler; there is no attachment to things. I’m drawn to buddhism in more than one way, but openly admit to never ending up a buddhist. There are some things that I will never let go of, even though the bond to them is purely unnecessary. I laugh at myself and feel a small jolt of shock when realizing that I don’t experience guilt when confessing I covet them. I just don’t have what it takes to be a nun and truly I wouldn’t want that kind of a life either. Simple as that.

      So you see, I’m content when realizing that the border of my subjective ‘too much’, ‘enough’ and ‘too little’ will stay in motion. Objectively this will always mean less than when I set out, subjectively it can mean too much or too little to someone else. To me there’s no scale for liking a little or a lot either, it’s just on or off.

      (Extreme) minimalism isn’t for me and I’ve made peace with it. I hope everyone who strives to reach a minimalistic state know their reasons for doing so, because there’s a fine line between ‘real’ and ‘fashionable’. This is why I sometimes wonder why people choose a specific amount of things (not judging, merely wondering); who determined such a limit and why is 99 better than 100? Will I be judged by a hundred-and-oner, but not by a ninetyniner, because I’m a tenthousander myself? Most likely by the fashionista-ninetyniners *grin* Sorry for this going slightly off topic.

    • #177698

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      If it is an item like a book or a video, think of how many times you may want to watch or read it, and whether you can get it from a library when you want it.

      If it is a household item, think first whether the item will have a function in your life (like a sofa), or whether it’s purely decorative (like a painting). If it will serve a function, can you afford it without credit and do you love it enough to replace what you have now? Then buy it with a clear conscience. If it is decorative, where will you put it? Is an empty spot crying for something? Then get it.

      If it is something you already have multiples of, like books or clothing, use the ‘one in, one out’ rule.

      I have learned over the years to always ask myself (or more to the point, my husband), “where will we put it?” or “what will we get rid of to make room for it?” That is usually enough to stop the purchase.

      Besides the above questions, I often wait a week or two. If I am traveling, I try to imagine if I will remember the item a month later and regret not buying it.

      If it’s clothing or a book, I have to fall in love with it or it has to fill a missing need.

      My point of reference now is what will fit easily in the house I have lived in for 14 years. That almost always means getting rid of something else.

    • #177733

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      @lgmost: Recently I’ve started saying things like: “Just because you own this item NOW, doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever”. It is incredibly freeing to give myself permission – at the time of a purchase – to know I may get rid of it some day, no matter how much I love it now. Does that make sense?

    • #177734

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      lazycow: oh yes, I feel that way and it started to make sense to me, especially over the last year. Such a feeling of lightness and peace because I allow myself the choice of what items to pass along to others, what items I can admire in shops or photos and choose not to buy. It is getting easier for me to value people and my relationships to them, instead of the materialism/commercialism of competing for who has bought the most/best things, i.e. holidays and birthdays.

    • #177735

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      @lgmost: Even HH the DL admits to a love of wristwatches; he has a collection.

      I don’t worry too much about having things I love, so long as a) I truly love them, and b) I don’t love them so much that they cause pain – whether by cluttering my life or by their loss. It’s the things I keep that I don’t love or need, or the things that I love too much – those are the things I try to revise/reduce.

      FWIW, which may be nothing.

    • #177739

      I have got a contradictory thought >

      I think lazycow’s motto is also helpful when we receive gifts, especially gifts that we wouldn’t normally choose for ourselves. It allows us to refocus on the gratitude that someone loved us enough to share something with us, rather than being dismayed at the clutter potential or the work involved in removing this new item from our lives.

      @lgmost, your post doesn’t sound contradictory at all. It sounds like you may be nearing the goals that you originally set for yourself. If these items bring you joy, then why remove that joy from your life? Wait until you don’t feel anything for those items to worry about removing them.

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