Home Forums Welcome Hello! How is everybody going?

  • This topic has 1,009 replies, 62 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by  Jackthetiger.
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    • #159343
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      This is not really an uncluttery theme, but I have wondered about how some of you are going at the moment. It is too time consuming to keep up with every thread, so sometimes you do not see that someone has posted giving an update on their personal circumstances. I know that some people have dealt with loss, injury, illness – the list goes on.

      I thought that I would start a thread where people could feel free to let us know how they are going with their recovery/rehabilitation and other challenges. I don’t know you all, but I feel that this has become a community, and I think people would like to know how you are progressing.

    • #187689
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I continue to fool myself that *next* week will be less overscheduled, and then it’s not. But I think i’m in the home stretch this time – tomorrow through Monday, no company or visiting family or other social obligations. Our to-do list includes digging a fencepost hole and watering all the plants. And hauling all this crap that’s piled up to the thrift store.

    • #187690
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Also, both my pairs of casual pants wore out this week, came out of the washing machine with big holes in the spot where they’re most likely to catch on my bike seat. So I have to go shopping at the thrift store when I drop the stuff off!

    • #187697
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry I am a Negative Nelly today, I am really angry on many levels, not a good day. We have had our house on the market for over a year (we almost sold it once-too long a story to tell). A month ago buyer were almost ready to sign the counteroffer but found out our next door neighbor is a registered sex offender. He moved in about 4 years ago. So today a Listing Agent for a house a few blocks away told the Listing Agent of some buyers who came to look at our house today that we have a registered sex offender next door. Blew that one out of the water.

      I guess I am really naive, but how despicable. Incidently, my huband looked up the competitions street and found a registered aggrivated kidnapping person that lives right next door to that house. I will hazard a guess that she did not disclose that!

      AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG! It is really aggravating that someone can move in next door and we have no say in it at all. And now we potentially cannot sell our house because he lives right next door.

      Thanks for the vent!

    • #187712
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good idea Jack.

      As some of you might remember, my father died on June 2nd. We finally had the funeral on June 21st, but there is still much paperwork to be done. My brother (single, childless, lives locally) has been helping our mother with most of it but as we’re not using a lawyer officially(we don’t need probate as almost everything was in joint names) and I happen to have a friend who specialises in that field, I’ve been passing on tricky questions to her and answers back again. My friend offered, don’t worry, and I’m not taking advantage of her.

      We’ve also been helping my mother organise to have her front door replaced. The old one sticks, which was ok before as my father was always in the house (agoraphobia) so she never got locked out, but now of course it is a worry. After this we need to sort out the heating – my father would not have workmen in the house (social phobia too). We haven’t really done anything with his personal items yet other than disposing of his vodka (he died from alcoholic liver disease) and giving his tobacco/papers to a smoker who will use them. Oh and I’ve got the coffee machine in my kitchen now and DH dealt with the broken computers. Clothes, books etc will be a long time off I think – when my mother asks, I’ll help of course.

      My brother may move back into the house in September when his current rental contract runs out. Our mother has schizophrenia and although she has been stable throughout this, she did admit she has been forgetting to take her pills recently – father used to make her take them. It would be better if my brother didn’t live alone too, as he has type 1 diabetes. The only difficulty is that he doesn’t drive so getting to work on public transport from her house is very difficult. However he has applied to renew his provsional license and will take more lessons – I told him I will buy him a cheap car if he passes his test. He was saving for a deposit to buy a flat, but the driving lessons will take all his current savings.

      I should clarify that I’m 35, have 2 young children, and live 2 hours away by train – I don’t drive either because of visual impairment (I’m not legally allowed to drive). My brother is only 27. It makes sense for him to take more responsibility.

    • #187718
      genny
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Rosa, if the garments are too worn for you to wear, with holes. Why not just put them in the trash? I don’t intend to be mean about it. It is just that it is amazing the value that we still place on our old stuff. I think that the resale stores are the depository of the stuff that we don’t want to really discard because of some perceived value or attachment.
      They must have an enormous garbage hauling bill!
      I am probably guilty of this same thing. I know that I am. I am working on changing my view of such. I have seen the garbage area of the local Sal Army! Shudder!!!! Surly, they must have some way of recycling or reclaiming textiles. I know that some do end up as rags.
      There is a program for collecting used denim to be make into insulation. Habitat for Humanity is the only place where I have seen this collection going on. And, that is not an ongoing activity there.
      I don’t mean to insult your britches, Rosa! Just consider if they really have any life left to even make them worth a few bucks at the resale. They have so very, very much of it!

    • #187719
      genny
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      MTNgirl, my SIL is a state trooper who monitors sex offenders. He will be the first to tell you that many are on that list for dubious reasons. In some part, you can blame our over zealous and puritanical society. Sure, there are some real offenders on that list, some real baddies,some who can’t leave it alone, no doubt about it.

      I am sorry for you. That does seem to be unfair. I don’t know what the disclosure laws are in your state, but sex offenders are all public record. Some would even have these people place a sign on their lawns.
      Still, who knows what evil lurks in the minds of any of your neighbors? Laws cannot protect us from all. You have a right to be angry about it. You have done nothing, but you are paying for the actions of one other person and, probably, an exaggerated perceived danger.

    • #187725
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Genny, what makes you think i’m not? I said I need to go shopping for replacements, not “I am donating my holey pants!” This afternoon I’m hauling my donation pile off to the thrift store and making time to shop for new pants. Separately.

      it wouldn’t have been mean if you were actually responding to something I said instead of skipping important words.

    • #187760
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      rosa-the impression i got from your post saying “when i drop the stuff off” you meant your pants, also- along with the other piled up crap from the previous post. i don’t think it sounded mean at all. it sounded to me she was just saying give yourself permission to toss things instead of feeling like you have to save everything to donate.
      it’s very easy to misinterpret what folks are saying online at times.
      in my opinion.

    • #187763
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i forgot to post to the actual topic…
      ask me in 4 weeks 1 day (after the wedding) my sanity may have returned by then. one can hope.

    • #187768
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It’s not the one post that got my dander up, it’s the general pattern of jumping on one phrase in a whole post to rant on without considering that the other person just *may* have already considered some things for themselves.

      I’m sorry I was unclear, since if both of you thought that I must not have phrased it well.

    • #187769
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I sense a lot of “feelings” lately. Most of us actives have hung out here for quite a long time already and at least I feel like something is missing if I cannot log in at least a few times weekly. It seems like a shocking amount has lost someone dear to them recently and/or are experiencing moves into new homes or other major events. Also, the topic in general – lifestyle change – is not the easiest of things to deal with. Plus we do not get to see each other’s body language which quite frankly bothers me at times. Text is so easy to misinterpret and, finally, some of us have other mother tongues.

      Personally, I have a lot to take care of currently but am trying to stay calm and deal with one day at a time. I feel fairly back in the game again and so there is more to give from if support is needed. Just ask and I can post my email address even for a few minutes if necessary! Would be happy to help where I can.

    • #187771
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk….what a thoughtful offer. I agree, written text is easy to misinterpret.

    • #187787
      tmichelle
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for asking Jackthetiger. Awhile back I got a lot of good advice on a very fast move to Florida. Right now we are in temporary housing until the end of the month. We are having a bit of a difficult time finding a home, but I know God has a plan and am looking forward to finding out where we will settle for the next period of time.

      How are things going with you?

    • #187795
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hi tmichelle, I am ok, still recovering from reconstructive surgery on both feet, ankles and achilles tendons and the daily impact of FM. It is the lack of fitness that bothers me most. I have always been athletic and I am unused to puffing when I walk up a hill.

      I mainly started this thread because I came across a post where Julia(? I think) was talking about her impending surgery. Many people who “know” her may not have seen it. There is the update on Bandicoot’s recovery, and the way others are recovering from illness. I was moved by the thread about coping with death and the number of people who are experiencing terrible loss. Also there were people who have mentioned unemployment and the challenges of moving away from family and friends to new cities or countries.

      I hoped that people might feel that they could tell us how they are progressing now. Sometimes we forget that the effects of these challenges do not disappear overnight.

      tmichelle @ I hope that you have some luck in finding a new home where you will be happy.

      Charity @ You are dealing with so much. I think that it is good that you have a good relationship with your brother and you are both able to do what you can for your mother. I am sure you are still missing your father. Even if parents can be hard to deal with, they are still our family and we feel their loss. Just keep doing things in an orderly way and you and your brother will keep on top of things.

      Irishbelle @ Stay calm and enjoy every moment of your daughter’s big day!

      Ninakk @ That is a very thoughtful offer

      MTNgirl @ Good luck with selling your house, despite the difficulties.

    • #187799
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack- it is hard to keep track of everyone, thank you for being so thoughtful : )

    • #187804
      tmichelle
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack, I am praying for your recovery! I was one of the ones who had to move due to my dh’s loss of job. We are thrilled to be in Florida though. πŸ™‚

    • #187805
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My challenges are tending to my father and my black lab whose bodies are failing them, and a mother whose mind is failing her. No one is going to get better. I don’t wish them dead, but I know I will feel a sense of relief when they are gone.

      I need to get a job soon, which is going to complicate my situation. My dog can’t go for 8 hours without being taken outside, so I’ll probably need to clean the carpet every day, or put her in diapers. Everything I do for my parents now will have to be done on weekends or after work. Mother still refuses to get help. She wants me to do everything because she doesn’t want strangers in the house. I think it’s because they are feeling more and more vulnerable as they continue to lose themselves to old age.

      I’ve been trying to do things for myself that lift me up even if for just a little while, but that takes energy I don’t always have. The other day, exhausted after a morning of doing things for the parents and taking dad to get his eye glasses adjusted, I slept on the sofa for 2 hours while the roofers pounded away on the the roof above me.

      On a brighter note: our insurance is paying for the new roof because it was damaged in a hail storm last year, and my garden is amazing this year. I’m glad it’s too hot to work in it now so I can enjoy it.

      I hesitated posting because I feel like I’ve whined too much about my life already. I’m reading a book that is helping me keep perspective, and it even helps me fall sleep faster at night. The lack of sleep has been, by far, the worst problem of all. I still don’t sleep long enough, but I am getting more.

    • #187810
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      JJ- I am sorry for your troubles with your family. All you can do is to keep going through it, but taking time for sleep. Maybe you could actually use some medication for the sleep problem. proper rest for your body and mind can make a huge difference. Good luck to you with it all may I ask what book you are reading? It sounds as though it could be a help to lots of us!

    • #187813
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So many of us are having problems. Hugs to all of you! I will keep you in my thoughts and send loving wishes for things to get better and strong backs until they do!

    • #187819
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, Irish. πŸ™‚

      I tried over-the-counter sleeping pills. They made me too groggy, and I would wake up in the middle of the night anyway. If I exercise in the morning, I sleep better at night, but it’s hard to do when you wake up exhausted. I can go two whole minutes on the eliptical now, lol, but maybe in a few days I can do 3, etc. I’m shooting for 15 minutes in the morning, and I really need to start doing yoga again. Yoga seems to fix nearly everything for me, but… I’m always so tired.

      The book I am reading is the Art of Happiness – A handbook for the living, by the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler M.D. I’m only to the second chapter in the book. He discusses the difference between doing things that bring us pleasure vs what brings us happiness is thought provoking and inspiring. To use my own simple example: Let’s say I want a snack. I have a choice between an ice cream sandwich and an apple. The ice cream sandwich, with it’s chocolatey cookie outside and the creamy vanilla ice cream center, would taste heavenly on a hot day. Definitely pleasurable if you like ice cream sandwiches. However, there will be a sugar crash after the ice cream sandwich is eaten, and of course the empty calories don’t contribute anything. The pleasure is gone after eating the ice cream. The apple, on the other hand, is nutritious and leaves you more satisfied in the long run. It also doesn’t cause a sugar crash. You will have more energy, so you can pursue those things that make you happy. Of course we all know that eating an apple is better for you than ice cream, but I find it’s easier now to choose the apple because I’m making my choice not for the momentary pleasure, but for my immediate and future well being.

    • #187823
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh wow, JuliaJayne, DH and I are about to start reading that book later today, too! He has an English copy whereas mine is Swedish (although I usually like reading in the original language if possible). Anyway, just let me know if you want to discuss it at some point! I’d be happy to do that.

      I have a dear friend who started practicing yoga about a year ago and she swears by it. Her job is really stressful but due to waking up earlier and practicing for 30-45 minutes each morning, she is actually able to sleep less and the quality of her sleep has improved a lot. A motivation for me to start doing it too πŸ™‚

    • #187826
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m doing. We are slowly adjusting to my BIL’s death. It’s a hard time to live so far away from family. DH and I are working through some issues and at times I can’t see a resolution; at other times I do. Meanwhile I’m finding it hard to focus, hard to get motivated to do things. I think about what I want to do and to accomplish, but as NTCH noted somewhere, starting is the hardest part. I feel like I’m just moving through my life with no set direction and no energy to direct it the way I’d like it to go.

      Just checked and the Art of Happiness is available at my library, and it’s checked in – think I’ll pick it up this morning as I do some errands.

      Thanks, Jack for starting this. I hope you are recovering well.

      JuliaJayne – what a difficult situation to find yourself in. My MIL was like your mother – she didn’t want any strangers in her house, and later, not even any people she knew if my FIL wasn’t there. It was difficult for my FIL to go out even for simple things like grocery shopping and haircuts. It’s so hard to see our parents go downhill. I remember them as the stability in my life.

    • #187829
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for your support! And I sending my cyber-support to everyone else as well!

    • #187831
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Juliajayne, it’s not whining when it’s a hard situation, and taking care of elders is really difficult.

      As is losing people. I’m really thinking about all of you going through grief right now. That foggy feeling is so difficult.

    • #187840
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      thanks for the updates, everybody….i love hearing what everyone is up to.

      i am working away at my rehab and seeing little improvements and progress every day.
      i swapped physios and it made a huge difference.

      i decided i need a goal and incentive…so i booked some flights and a darling little hotel in ubud, bali, for august 1st.
      i have to be airport-ready in 3 weeks, which i know is pushing it….but i really need a few days in warmth, with a swimming pool at my door and my favourite massage place just twenty metres away.
      my husband urged me to go….we have been breathing down one another’s necks for three months.
      you need some spaces between the notes to make beautiful music!
      so i am excited to be going and it will be lovely coming home again.
      i’ll be limited to one small bag, because that is all i can carry any distance right now, so i’ve got a minimalist packing project on my hands, which i love!

      i am walking without a cane now…not far, not fast, but getting there.
      it isn’t quite 3 months since i broke my leg, and i am amazed at how fast things have healed.
      i had excellent surgery in paris and i am everlastingly grateful for that piece of good fortune.

      the new kittens have settled in and are bringing us huge laughs every hour.
      the big cats are also settling down with the little newcomers.

      as we learned to say in paris: everything is bon.

    • #187842
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      DH has a line on some contract work; we’ll know more by Monday.

    • #187845
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So pleased to hear that all is well Bandicoot. I have wondered how you are going on that frustratingly slow road to recovery! It seems that you have great healing genes or something. Maybe it was a kitten based recovery? They should apply this in all the hospitals.

      Fingers crossed lucy1965. Sometimes contract work can lead on to more permanent work, or at least your husband will have current experience when applying for other jobs.

      JuliaJayne, what a hard time you are having. When your parents are most in need of external support, they have become so fearful of others. It makes it very draining for you. Do you have siblings who can take some of the burden? My heart goes out to you. And no, you are not whining! You were asked to tell us and I am glad you did. As to your poor old dog; they worm their way into our lives and are so loyal. It is a shame that their lives are relatively short. I wonder if there is an older, retired person in your neighbourhood who would be happy to take a short stroll with your dog during the day when you are at work? It might fit the bill for both of them. There are also dog carers who will come in during the day.

      Pkilmain, sometimes it is time to be within yourself and not striving to accomplish things. Your BIL’s death is still very recent. Just try to identify the basics that will help you through the process. Focus on the time with your husband to resolve your situation because, as we sadly know, life is too short.

    • #187848
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Wow, hugs to everyone trying to keep their heads above water!

      My massive hernia repair surgery went well. My pre-organizing has made my return home go very smoothly in terms of having things done so I’m not needing someone to stop by on a daily basis. (The idiot docs trying to toss me out as fast as possible, regardless of whether my pain and medical issues were controlled – all so they didn’t have to be on call for the holiday weekend – is another issue!) I know my sister and family are willing, but I wanted them to be able to enjoy their summer without racing around doing errands for me every day for a month. It was lovely to have everything here already organized and arranged to work with my restrictions on weight lifting and bending.

      The lifestyle change that I’m living with now that I’ve put serious effort into uncluttering for the last year is amazing. When my sister brought me home from the hospital, she unpacked my overnight bag for me. Not only did I have a spot for everything she unpacked, I knew exactly where it was supposed to go without looking. For me, this is just short of miraculous! I cleaned and scrubbed the entire apartment before my surgery – walls, windows, floors scrubbed on hands and knees, everything dusted, etc. It only took me a few days to get it all done, in between countless other errands and little league games, etc. I’ve never so cleaned so fast and so well in my life. Somewhere in the middle of the cleaning, I realized it was going so quickly because there wasn’t really anything to pick up. Everything was already put away – I just needed to dust it. A couple of years ago, it would have taken me days just to put enough things away to be able to scrub, and there still would have been piles of things that just got dusted around but not picked up.
      This – organized and calm, even if I’ll never be a minimalist – this is soooo much better!

    • #187849
      anitamojito
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It’s so nice to see everyone’s updates! What a nice idea this thread was.

      I feel like my family is now living the new normal after the recent deaths of two members of my extended family. I’m so glad to see everyone adjusting (it’s been harder on my older relatives than me, no doubt). I feel like a jerk admitting this, but I’m not even thinking very much about all that right now, as I’ve got my hands full at home. This situation is SO piddly compared to dealing with aging loved ones, death, illness injury, etc. – but I am still in bed bug hell! I need to frequently remind myself to calm down and try to keep some perspective. Due to one neighbor who got bed bugs months ago and didn’t take action, they have now spread throughout my condo building. So far I’ve had 3 extensive chemical treatments, but fat lot of good they really do when the units adjacent to me are not under control yet. It’s going to be a long time, with so much money, time, and effort spent, before this is resolved. I have little hope of recovering damages from the responsible party, due to their financial problems. It’s not like I can really afford this, either. The bug bites are painful, itchy, and ugly, like fire ant bites. And it’s just chaos in here! The contents of my bedroom are in plastic bags in other rooms of my little place. I suppose some uncluttering is happening, as I throw things away that I fear could provide good hiding places for the bugs, or that have been ruined by the chemicals (like my very favorite expensive handbag, wah!). It’s absolutely a first world problem, I know it, boohooing as I spray my designer handbags with insecticide. πŸ™‚ I hope I’ll be able to keep most of my furniture, but the couch is probably a loss. Possibly the worst aspect of all this is my fear of being/being perceived as dirty and “trashy” is now in high gear. I don’t feel like I can tell any of my friends and receive their support, because they may feel like it’s risky to be around me. I really couldn’t blame them if they did. But I’m isolated enough as it is. I’m not sleeping much because I’m so paranoid about being bitten again, and of course that lack of sleep is just making me more emotional. I have to really shake myself, and remember this is very far from being the worst thing that could happen to my home and not to be too much of a drama queen about it. It’s not like I had a flood, or a fire. It may take months, or a year, to get rid of the bugs but not the rest of my life. It is a solvable problem. I’m so glad to see all of your updates and be reminded we are all coping with our challenges together.

    • #187855
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Wow, my thoughts and prayers to everyone who’s posted here.

      I had a horrible year last year due to my father’s death, putting my mum in a nursing home due to Alzheimer’s, clearing out and selling the family home (oh, the STUFF!!), my dog’s death, having a skin cancer removed, daughter having problems at school, and my beloved sister moving interstate. Finding this Forum was a Godsend.

      This year is about more change, but it is positive stuff: my husband and I are planning on taking the children to live north of Melbourne, but we don’t know where yet. Originally we were going to move only a hour away, but he wants warmer weather, and not to work full-time any more and a much cheaper house with some land. So we’re going to sell our house and my car and drive up North and rent somewhere for a while till we decide! It has taken a bit of adjustment on my part to even think of going so far away, but I’m nothing if not flexible. Plus, with all the decluttering I’ve done, it will be a breeze to move πŸ™‚

    • #187856
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anitamojito, those bed bugs sound horrible and a real upheaval in your life. All caused by someone else and you’ve had your house invaded, I would also feel annoyed and stressed out if I were you.
      Lazycow, what a terrible year! It sounds like an amazing adventure, your plan to up sticks and move. Life is short, you should go after your dream πŸ™‚
      Cyber hugs to everyone going through a difficult time.

    • #187857
      Zora
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I just had a weird notion re bedbugs. Would it help to buy an inflatable bed for the interim?

      My summer renter just bought one for me. A friend of hers is staying for a week and there was no place for her to sleep. In lieu of extra rent, I asked that the renter buy an inflatable bed.

      It has an electric pump and inflated in just a few minutes. The friend says that it’s quite comfortable.

      There don’t seem to be any nooks and crannies in which bedbugs could hide! It’s just one big plastic block. You could put it on a tarp and spray the edges of the tarp with bug-killer, like a moat.

      Aha! I just googled and found a few articles from people who said that it helps deal with bedbugs. Here’s one: http://bedbugsnyc.blogspot.com/2007/04/word-on-air-mattresses.html

    • #187858
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      JBeany @ It was you, not Julia, who was off to have surgery! I could not find where I had read it. I am glad all went well and that you are home. You have clearly done much of the hard work before you left, but you still might need some help in the future, so don’t be worried about asking your family for help. Good luck with the recovery.

      Best of luck with the bedbugs, Anitamojito. Our homes are our haven and it is horrible to feel powerless, not to mention itchy and sore! I hope the inflatable mattress is a goer. It will be a long haul, but when you are free of them (and you will be), let us know and we can raise a glass to you.

      Lazycow, That is one hell of a list and I am glad the future is looking brighter. Thank goodness you caught the skin cancer in time; it is one of the biggest killers in this country. Where are you moving to in the short term? My husband and I have bought land at Chewton, near Castlemaine, but it sounds as though you might be going even further. Good luck with the move.

    • #187863
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lazycow, can we expect you this far north?
      i think this is the best place in australia to live. (biased, yes).
      for a start….we have water!
      food is expensive, but we save on clothes, lol.

      jbeany…impressive organisation!
      so good to hear that things are easier for you, thanks to your groundwork.
      congratulations.

    • #187864
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Bandicoot, I know life is pretty casual in FNQ, but saving on clothes? Is clothing optional where you live? I know it is pretty hot up there….

    • #187865
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain – Yes, it is really hard. My dad went back into the hospital yesterday because he’s filling up with fluid again. The ER doctor explained to dad what they would do if his heart stopped, and asked if dad wanted that or not. We’ve been through this before, but this was the first time that dad asked mom and I how we felt about his decision. It was a very touching moment. Anyway, now we wait to see if he responds to the treatment. He’s had it before and responded well. His kidneys are still functioning and he had no signs of a heart attack, but they didn’t have all the tests back when mom and I left.

      Thank you, Rosa.

      Jack – my brother doesn’t do much. He lives over an hour away, but you’d think it was 5 hours by the way he complains about it.

    • #187867
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, I’m so glad you are reading the book! Like I said, I’m not very far into the book. My mind wanders too much these days, so I have to read parts of it over and over sometimes. I also pause often to absorb what he says, or read a little before falling asleep. Feel free to talk about it anytime. A lot of what he talks about alines with what many of us are doing now – seeking a more simple and meaningful life.

    • #187886
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anitamojito, I don’t think your situation is piddly. It would be devastating. Can the Health Department or some other bureau issue citations to the neighbors to clean up their apartments? Is there a building manager that could be involved?

    • #187903
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks Jack for starting this off.
      Anitamojito, your problem must be so frustrating with the bugs coming from the neighbours making it a situation you can’t be in control of. There’s also the visceral reaction to having creepy crawlies
      My sympathies to everyone dealing with family deaths, the elderly needing a lot of support and personal surgery as well, it’s another of life’s phases! I’ve had too much of all of these over the last few years, I sort of feel a bit worn down by it all.

      I’m getting back on track again after Auntie’s latest stroke, we have had two weekends where I haven’t been driving miles to sort things out and just the time at home makes so much difference to my attitude.

      I like Bandicoot’s target setting with the Bali trip.

    • #187904
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh, we stayed home this weekend and whilst it has been great I feel very guilty – have had 2 phone calls and 4 emails from my mother today. Previously I only spoke to her maybe once a month. She’s very lonely now.

    • #187909
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity,
      I understand the guilty feelings, it’s so hard being supportive but still keeping some time for yourself and family.
      After my Dad died Mum was phoning me at work which was difficult to handle, she did realise the need to get out and build new friendship networks. Can you encourage her to meet up with friends more?

      I think persuading my Auntie that sheltered accommodation was the way to go was a huge help, although she still longs to talk to me everyday for hours, she has other people around to talk to. We had to start screening phonecalls with the answerphone because she rang so often. However the reality is that if I succumb to the stress and get clinically depressed then there is no-one else to pick up the pieces for her, so I’ve had to do some self preservation.
      Similar situation with the hospital regarding self preservation, they expected me to be instantly available to be there when I live 2 hours drive away and work full time. I felt guilty when I said ‘No I can’t be there’ to accept delivery of care equipment that you didn’t ask me about before arranging to have it delivered. However they did eventually sort it out themselves.

      Rant over!
      The guilt is so tricky to deal with but you must only do what you can cope with.

    • #187915
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jackthetiger, you’re very sweet, and I hope your recovery is quick. Castlemaine is a lovely place (I go to Daylesford every year for at least a long weekend and love that whole area). When are you moving? We’re going much further north (see below).

      Charity, Netleigh has given good advice! I’ve been in a similar situation with my mother (before she went into her nursing home) and the guilt is awful. I saw a wise counsellor and she pointed out that feeling guilty was just too exhausting: that I needed to focus 100% on mum when I was with her (or talking to her), but when I wasn’t to just simply not think about her (and hence not feel guilty). Something happened after that; it was like a lightbulb moment, that I had the authority over my feelings and had permission to switch off. It really feels wonderful. You have a young family (as I do) and they come first. I know it’s awfully hard though!

      @bandicoot, no I don’t think we’ll go THAT far north, though we had a holiday last year at Trinity Beach and it was divine. Probably Northern NSW, maybe the Gold Coast Hinterlands (my sister lives in Burleigh). I have to see whether I can handle the humidity first. As for clothes, I’m so fair I just wear long cotton skirts and peasant tops in summer, and boots, skivvies and jeans in winter. Far from my fashionista younger days πŸ™‚ Oh, meant to say, so glad you’ve almost recovered. I’ve been following your progress for months, and am amazed at your determination. You deserve Bali.

    • #187916
      OnARoll
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      What a great idea for a thread this was. I had a very different picture of all these superpeople sailing (or steadily rowing) through their decluttering, and I had no idea what crises and responsibilities people are juggling. Applause to anybody even trying to stay on track, much less making progress!

      I am no longer On A Roll with my decluttering, because of assorted distractions and problems, but I have made an effort to get a grip on the housecleaning situation, and I thank all the people on Unc who have shared ideas and methods. It has really helped me think through in my mind what really needs to be done how often and how to get myself to get to it, and to keep things on a nice enough level that it feels good to be home instead of being stressed. So that’s progress, and it makes it easier to do a declutter surge when the floors are clean to begin with.

      I made another decision, and it was to quit focusing on recycling everything possible, because in my area I have to haul it all into an office and up a few floors to do it, and it can just suck up most of the time and effort and trunk space that should have gone into cleaning or decluttering. When I get farther down the road and the clutter is mostly gone I will go back to feeding more into the recycle stream.

      Anyway, I look forward to a day when I can get another trunkload of stuff out of here, and hope day that will not be far off. And I am very grateful for you guys who are always on the trail with me when I need an idea or some encouragement. Happy Trails to Us!

    • #187920
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @netleigh and charity….self-preservation is everything.
      put your own oxygen mask on first and THEN assist others!
      we have to be in good shape mentally/physically/emotionally before we can be of any service to others.
      it isn’t at all selfish to put yourself first.

    • #188019
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity and Netleigh @ You deserve time for yourselves and absolutely need it. That is a great message for everyone who is struggling at the moment. Take the time to eat properly, spend time by yourself, talk to people who will listen, and sit in the sun sometimes.

      Lazycow @ We hope to begin building next year.

    • #188110
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      He has the contract job!

      The pay’s not great, so we’re treating it as a supplement to the severance, but it’s something in his field and the first paid work in two months. The job he really wants (that would let us move to Portland) isn’t making offers until September, but he did great on the interview and his follow-up questions led to the contact going to the trouble of chasing down information for him, so I’m letting myself hope a little.

    • #188111
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @lucy, that’s great! Hopefully it will lead to bigger and better things…

      @ Anita – yard sales, thrift stores – all dangerous! Church charity fundraisers are even worse – “But it’s for charity!”

    • #188114
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m glad to see some good news.

      I am moving forward a little. I got some things done that I have been putting off, important things! I have been going through papers the last two days, shredding and recycling. I’m trying to do a little at a time and not spread it all over. That’s when I get discouraged and let it sit. So far, so good! πŸ™‚

    • #188130
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      claycat- glad to hear it. you have found what works for you-that is a great discovery.

    • #188137
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      claycat….nice strategy!

      i am behind in my work (the work that pays for everything) and the house is clean, but untidy (my husband is not a putter-awayer of things and i cannot limp around after him all day).
      but i am getting in an hour a day at the rehab pool, doing a little cooking, and spending too much time with kittens.

      i wish you all a productive and happy day.

    • #188156
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, irishbell and bandicoot!

      Water therapy and kitten therapy are the best! πŸ™‚

    • #188166
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yay for lucy’s dh! Getting a job is all about networking, and it’ll be easier for your dh to cultivate his network if he’s doing the contract stuff. Even if the job he wants doesn’t work out, he’ll be in a better position and certainly have more confidence. A friend’s dh lost his job 3 months ago and is starting to get downhearted about job-hunting. I keep telling him: ring up old colleagues and take them for a drink or out to lunch, that’s better use of your time than sending endless CVs. He has started doing this, but really he needed to be doing this while he had a job, not afterwards. You’ve got to cultivate your network, particularly in an uncertain job market or in a close-knit industry.

    • #188170
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy1965, Glad to hear your good new about dh’s job, hope it’s a precursor to sucess on the other job application in September.

    • #188208
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @bandicoot “. . . spending too much time with kittens” . . . no, all the words are in English, but I can’t make any sense of them at all! *grin*

      @jbeany, lottie and Netleigh Thank you all so much for the good wishes: it really has been down to networking that he’s found this job (and is in the running for the position in September); we found out not 10 minutes ago that DS has an interview at Electronic Arts, and it’s absolutely because he persistently kept after friends who work there for information. I am so proud of both of them!

    • #188361
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lol, probably makes you a better listener as well, Anita! I lost my voice with a throat infection last year, trying to yell at the kids was such murder I gave up πŸ™‚
      Good luck to your ds, Lucy!

    • #188365
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      The concert sounds fab, regardless!
      I lose my voice at least once a winter – usually from a small cough that just won’t quit. Everyone is ALWAYS so entertained, aren’t they?

    • #188367

      How is everybody going?

      Went to see “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” – excellent! I hope to see Alan Rickman receive the Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor that he deserves!

    • #188371
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I really did not want to add any more tragedy to this thread but my grandmother fell ill about a week ago and it is almost certain she will not return home. The mere thought of going through all of her house is almost freaking me out. My mom is bff with justin case and cannot handle the thought of yet another home with stuff (her and dad are beginning to slooowly see the decluttering light, yay for that) and would like to just chuck all of it out. That would be a true shame though ad there are some real gems in there and you just have to look for them. We also have all toys, books and games in her attic, which means deciding on how to store that for a few years until the kids would arrive. They are high quality and we refuse to throw any of it out at this point since it even financially would be crazy. It is just a very daunting project, gloomy and sad somehow since grandmother is not even dead yet πŸ™ I do not know how to tackle that feeling; want her alive but the task done if you see how I mean.

    • #188376
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Wow, ninakk! I’m sorry about your grandmother, and I empathize with the work you have ahead of you! Hang in there.

      Loving thoughts and prayers for you and your family!

    • #188377
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, ninakk, I do understand. My grandmother was very ill for a very long time, and we wanted soooo desperately to start cleaning the hoarded house out, knowing how much of a job it was going to be, but we just couldn’t. She went into hysterics when we had to rent a small dumpster just to clean the kitchen, which had become infested with flour beetles and had to be stripped bare just to make it safe to store food in.

      We’d been trying so hard for months to keep her from climbing down the basement steps, especially before she became sick enough for 24/7 care, to keep her from falling onto the cement basement floor. She was certain we were secretly sneaking her basement stuff out to the trash when she wasn’t looking. (Well, only the expired food she’d stocked up on for Y2K, I promise.)

      As she got closer to the end, they kept trying new pain meds to keep her comfortable, and unfortunately tried one that gave her hallucinations. She woke up yelling for her nurse, insisting my sister and I had not only cleared everything out of the basement overnight, but had REMOVED THE STEPS to keep her from finding out. Poor thing wouldn’t believe any of us until her pastor went down the stairs and looked around for her and promised it was all still there. *sigh*

    • #188378
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      dear nina, i am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.
      i hope she returns home, or failing that, that she has a peaceful passing, with love around her.

      i am freshly grateful for my own uncluttered grandmother who left a small apartment with a few beautiful and useful things.
      her three children did the sorting and dividing, and i imagine all of the grandchildren ended up with bits and bobs.
      despite my own kicking and screaming a year ago, her oak dining chairs have ended up here!
      i turned them down….then they got sneaked in here when we were having a party and needed to borrow extra chairs….and on they have stayed.

    • #188383

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, sorry to hear about your grandmother.

      jbeany, it sounds so stressful!

    • #188384
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk….sorry about your Grandmother. I hope everything works out for you.

      This makes me think of my own home and how I do not want to leave anything for my sons to be burdened with when I am older or sick and can’t keep up. I need to get busy and get my stuff, paperwork and wishes together.

    • #188391
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry Nina. Such a challenge for you. Keep us all posted on your progress. Best wishes to all who need it.

      Yay for Lucy’s husband!!

    • #188393
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Nina, I’m sorry to read about your grandmother. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.

    • #188398
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, so sorry to hear about your Grandmother, you know that you can come here to ‘scream’ about sorting out her house and we will all understand. It is a horribly guilty feeling wanting the task done, just relax about it and concentrate on time with her rather than her stuff. I hope you aren’t under time pressure to sort out her home.

    • #188405
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk, take care of yourself! I am sorry to hear about your grandmother.

    • #188461
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, sweetheart, I’m so very sorry. Please take good care of yourself.

    • #188462
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And because it needs its own note:

      The friend in Edinburgh who had suggested a job there offered again this weekend. I told DH that I refused to get excited about it until I saw the visa in my passport: I’d hoped too hard for too long, and I’m not willing to get my heart broken again.

    • #188512
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Crossing fingers for you, lucy!

    • #188514
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you for all warm thoughts, it means a lot to me. I visited grandmother with my sister yesterday and she really is just skin and bones. How did that happen? She went from being fairly sharp and still hanging on to life to being so old, frail and completely somewhere else. I just hope she has no pain anymore from the falls that she took a week ago.

      We also stopped by her home to evaluate the situation; even if she will stay at a nursing home, we will have to clear out her home and oh my, there is stuff everywhere. Not hoarding type of amounts but still. The rest of my family dealt with cleaning up the summer house of hers a few years ago while I was studying elsewhere and they had ordered a large container to go back on a truck, you know, and they had filled it with junk. Think old garden chairs that rusted 30 years ago, for convenience had been placed behind the shed and still stood there. That probably resembled a hoarder’s house, but luckily it is not as desperate in her home now. The cellar contained some food from the end of the 1990’s and beginning of 2000’s but it is almost empty, so it won’t take that long to pour out contents from glass jars etc. The attic on the other hand, oh dear. My sister was the first to climb the stairs and she screamed a bit. Dead mouse… And there’s stuff, lots to be had of it too. *deep sigh*

      An idea that worked very well for us was to take photos of everything. Overviews of rooms, larger photos of furniture, close-ups of smaller items. We are three households and all of us live on quite a distance from her so this way we can in peace and quiet think in advance how to deal with all of it. Especially my mom feels it as quite the burden to start emptying it at some point later this year and this way she can see that it really is not that bad (excluding the attic now). We will come up with a plan partly based on the photos and it will also be a lot easier to know what item everyone is referring to when they say “Hey, I really don’t want that pitcher there, you know with the red flowers on, to go”. I felt less stressed out on our way back home now that both of us know what we will be facing in the near future and mom sounded relieved too (they are out of town, and dad doesn’t say much πŸ™‚ ).

      Another situation that the photos could work well in is when you live far away from parents who want to get rid of your childhood clutter. Like my MIL wants to re: DH’s stuff. She would like for him to fly from Europe to the U.S. just to go through boxes but really… I suggested he tell her to first of all locate all his stuff (she has no idea of where all of it is right now *rolls her eyes*) and then take one box at a time to snap some shots, pack it all up again and stay organized so no chaos is created. Then send the photos for him to look at and immediately donate what he is not interested in. If there is money to be made via tax returns or whatever, then she can keep it for the trouble. Some people just are not that practical and we will see whether he will have to spend some of his few vacation days on this project or not.

    • #188515
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Crossing my fingers, lucy1965! I’ll come visit you if it works out πŸ™‚

    • #188520
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sounds like you all have a good plan ninakk. Maybe you could use the coloured sticker idea when it comes to clearing the house? You could each have a different coloured sticker for items you want to keep, with another for donate or trash or whatever. At least it seems like the worst has been dealt with…

    • #188522
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      That is a good idea, lottielot!

    • #188525
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I think it’s a house moving idea, but it seems like quite a few of the house moving threads could be applicable to this situation πŸ™‚

    • #188540
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Take care Nina. You have a long job ahead of you, but it sounds like a good plan.

      Good luck Lucy. I hope it works out for your family.

    • #188543
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, i am very sorry to hear about your grandmother.

      concerning the stuff, my idea is to write a list of things that are important to you and that you would like to have- without watching the item in real life or pictures… i mean, if you are in the process of uncluttering, you possibly donΒ΄t want to add a lot of things to your home and i am sure that you _know_ which things are very important to you. so, if you pick the items that are on your list, you can give away the rest easier.

    • #188573
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita, that is really excellent.

      It is so hot and muggy here, we’re getting by with just the very most basic of upkeep. I don’t know how people who live in really hot places cope. I can barely move by the end of the day.

    • #188583
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I think they have air con, Rosa πŸ™‚ Here in Engkand it’s 15c and pouring with rain. Typical summer weather πŸ™‚
      Anita: there is no cure for procrastination, it’s merely toying with you. I do however find it easier to concentrate on written work whilst listening to white noise on my iPod. I have a uni document I have to finish tomorrow and have been procrastinating woefully over it, I will take some inspiration from you.

    • #188588
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @nina Honey, if it happens, party at my new place!

    • #188600
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      after months of no real decluttering, but plenty of time to lie around seething and plotting, i have finally got my unclutter groove on again!
      books, laptops, mobility gear…a lot of stuff left the house today to start new lives in new homes.
      it feels soooo gooood and has really affected my mood positively.

      on the leg front: lots of exercise in the pool; lots of stretching out of the pool; controlled amounts of walking, slightly more each day.
      i was experiencing tiny improvements each day….. and then i hit a very frustrating plateau for several days…which of course is another lesson in hey-not-every-single-thing-is-within-my-control….and this morning i got up feeling ready to do something.

      our assistant and houseguest moves back in tomorrow for 8 days.
      i am braced for the deluge of stuff that follows him!
      the catalogues, samples, bags, boxes, omg.
      i am ready, baby, bring it on!

    • #188637
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m glad to read of positive stuff in people’s lives too, we really need to hear that and not just gloomy, sad news. I am so happy I found this place.

    • #188639
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lol, bandicoot! You are back in action!

    • #188640
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My guests are late, the dinner is waiting for them, and I have finally tackled the document I needed to do πŸ™‚ Mostly there, thanks for the inspiration Anita!

    • #188643
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Glad to hear you are doing better, Bandicoot!

    • #188655
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina,sorry to hear of your grams problems. try not to think of what lies ahead as far as decluttering, but think of your gram and spending what time you can with her and talking and reliving past good times. had i known my mom wasn’t coming out of the hospital that last time…
      to help lighten the mood and maybe give you a bit of as chuckle, it seems it’s given everybody but those of us who lived it a huge chuckle!
      if you choose to read-be prepared, it is long and rambling and might not make total sense, but I think you will get the jist.
      daughter #3 wedding is 2 weeks from friday. i recall posting that daughter and groom were dragging their heels on the cake issue. come to find out it was actually the groom’s dragging heels, but i digress. i asked for 3 months until i found out it was the groom who wanted his gram & aunt to bake/decorate the cake. i them proceeded to ask the groom for 3 months to send his aunt the picture of the cake, tell her the layer flavors, fillings and icing. ok, I will do it says he. 2 weeks later, did you get the cake info organized? no, i will do it tomorrow. still didn’t do it.

      8 weeks before the wedding, I was at a shower thrown by his side of the family, i tried to approach the gram making the cake, she wouldn’t even talk to me, kept walking away, wouldn’t even stand up to shake my hand at introduction!

      3 weeks later at another shower-i sat next to the gram and asked her questions- she didn’t make eye contact with me the whole conversation, she didn’t know any answers to any questions about the cake, did not have a pic of it and was so rude in her answers i stopped talking to her.
      I discussed this with DD, she heard part of the conversation and had to walk away it stressed her so bad. she decided she didn’t want gram anywhere near her cake and i was not comfortable leaving her to bake a cake that she knew nothing about or wouldn’t even discuss with me. i made the executive decision to hire my usual cake lady, handled in one fell swoop- one phone call and all the info was given, paid for and tied up with a lacy pink ribbon!

      groom calls gram to give her the news,she says no way, i’m making the cake and calls the event planner at the club the next day and told her in no uncertain terms she was making and bringing the cake!!! so now i have the grooms gram, aunt and mother furious with me, which i can deal with.but then they started giving DD grief, the girl their son, nephew and grandson is marrying.

      we came up with a compromise to have gram/aunt do 2 smaller cakes to flank the large fancy cake. DD is more forgiving than i in this situation. they said yes, but they needed the info on what size and what flavors etc. RIGHT THEN! yes, i laughed at that! I waited 6 months for them to get organized, which they never did, but they needed info from me right away!

      the next weekend at the last shower (yes, i know -lots of showers, but relatives asked her and she said yes, she’d love to have them)all hell broke loose.the women displayed the most disgraceful behavior i’ve ever seen (on someone who was not rip roaring drunk), not talking, eating or playing the one game we played, and finally cornering my daughter to talk about the cake. i walked over for this conversation and was immediately yelled at. i said politely, this is neither the time or place and i will not discuss this with you. again right before his mom left- she cornered DD outside and started YELLING at her and shaking her hand in my DD face, i immediately walked up for this conversation at which time, grooms mom started yelling at me, swearing etc, DD says “if you can’t behave, you will have to leave”, so she yells some more, grabs her daughter (who by this point was totally mortified), storms through the room and slam the door on her way out!!!! yes this really did happen!
      grooms mom called shortly after (while shower was still going on)to apologize to DD (not to me or to the hostess), but she had SO many reasons why she was SO upset. I totally offended them by hiring out the cake when it was the only thing they could afford to do for the wedding…on and on…

      we are still letting them do the small cakes, again DD is much kinder than i. we shall see what happens at the wedding.
      but… the rehearsal dinner will be somewhat…shall we say, awkward? it is at another aunts home. cripes. some people will complain if you hang them with a new rope!

    • #188656
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      That is just awful, irishbell! I am sure the wedding will be wonderful even though some people seem to lack a proper upbringing… You raised your daughter well if she has patience enough to stay graceful, that is all I can offer you along with a suggestion for you to use your wedding thread as often as you need it! Try to remember your daughter marries her fiancΓ©, not his relatives, and also try to forget as soon as possible these appalling events so that you don’t spoil your wedding experience. You have worked too hard and long so your daughter could have a beautiful and highly memorable day, the most important one of the couple’s journey together. Hopefully, in a couple of years you will just roll your eyes at this circus cake and maybe even laugh a bit too. Sending you plenty of hugs and a good dosis of zen from here!

    • #188657
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh poor you and poor girl. Weddings are so stressful. I’m afraid we still don’t laugh about the time when my MIL, angered because we declined to invite the teenage daughter of her acquaintance (neither of whom we had ever met) ripped up the guest list, demanded a divorce (FIL had agreed with us) then threatened suicide. She’s a challenging woman to be related to!

    • #188659
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, Irishbell! How awful for you and your daughter! I know you will be glad when this wedding is over. However, your poor daughter will have to continue to deal with that family.

    • #188660
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Bandicoot, you go girl! πŸ™‚

    • #188661
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina-I’m already laughing, what else to do?
      I refuse to let these people ruin my daughters’ or my good time!
      I don’t think any of them will even have the good sense to be embarrassed next time I see them.
      It’s only a lousy freaking wedding cake, if they really wanted to do it- they should have been organized and let me know mo the ago what was happening with it, and they could have been pleasant about it.

      Charity- I suspect I wouldn’t laugh about your wedding “episode” either.

    • #188669
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i had no idea cake was such a hot-button topic!

      my wedding cake was a gift.
      it was totally a gag gift…..we got married in bali and my friend ordered up this huge and hideous over-the-top cake.
      (i had no intention of getting a cake, we got married in the morning and then we had a wedding breakfast and drank champagne by the pool for the rest of the day).
      it had swans. it had bows. it had pearls. it had gold. it had silver. it had lace. it had mirrors. it had hearts. it had flower. it had the little bride and groom in plastic. it had a column of lights up the middle of the three tiers. it took two pastry chefs and an electrician to assemble it.
      it was utterly hilarious in the flesh, but in the photos, it looks like a DREAM CAKE.
      and it was delicious too…chocolate sponge with orange cream layers.

      if i had to do it again, i would elope.

      charity…OMG. she is a challenging woman, your MIL….

    • #188676
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      nor did i, bandicoot.
      i don’t mind the wedding planning festivities whatsoever, in fact i find it mostly fun, a bit like a scavenger hunt. by now, i’m fairly decent at it.
      but, i live and learn.
      claycat, that is my concern exactly.

    • #188677
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      OMG Irishbell. Weddings are stressful but this is ridiculous!

    • #188687
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh irishbell, that’s appalling. (I didn’t even have a wedding cake, so I’m at a loss to understand the behaviour, but of course, it’s not really about the cake is it??!!!)

      ninakk, I’m late to the news about your grandmother. Just to say I totally understand your feelings, having been there myself in similar circumstances.

      I’m very pleased with myself at the moment as I’ve just taken up bike riding properly and had a lovely beach ride (16km return) this morning; something I wouldn’t have dreamed I’d have the fitness level, let alone the time for! It only took 2 hrs, with a good long coffee break 1/2 way, and still leaves me enough of the day before school pick up to do other stuff. My point is, that since I’ve drastically culled my household contents, I have MUCH more time and energy to devote to fun things, without a nagging sense of guilt that I should be doing something useful. The washing is usually up-to-date because we have far fewer clothes, it is easy to vacuum as I don’t have to navigate around a lot of furniture, the bathroom stays clean(ish) as I do a little almost every day, and the cooking is manageable as I’m sticking to a dozen or so tried-and-true healthy recipes everyone will eat. I used to make life so complicated for myself!

    • #188689
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lazycow, it sounds like you have discovered the secret to happiness.
      truly, i think it lies in simplicity.

      as for me, my houseguest trauma has begun already.
      he has phoned me to see if i can check what sort of patsry and how much is left from his visit a month ago.
      he needs TWO kinds.
      AND
      he is carrying his own pie tins. on the aeroplane. to my house. to add to the pie tins he purchased last month.

      i want to run screaming into the forest and never come out again.

    • #188694
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot, I’d have a box for his stuff, at your front door, so he can take it with him when he leaves πŸ™‚ It’s frustrating when you’ve done so much work to keep things simple to have other people messing it up, and it is your house.

      Yep, simplicity is key. Just think, it was a simple quote from one of Tom Hodgkinson’s (The Idler) books that started me off on this whole journey: something along the lines of “In order to be idle, you need to be organised”!!! I *so* wanted to be idle, without the guilt πŸ™‚ And with less stuff it is so easy to be organised.

      I know I sound impossibly smug at times, but I’m amazed that I can reach this point of contentment with what I have, as an average, middle-aged, reasonably educated woman, with a very mainstream upbringing, and no special skills or talents (apart from remembering the author and title of every book I’ve ever read, now if I could parlay that into a money-making enterprise I’d do it!)

    • #188698
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irish @ They say you can choose your friends but not your family – or the family you gain through marriage. Have a great day at the wedding, and just be careful not to allow the groom’s family to get hold of the knife when it is time to cut the cake. They should be kept away from sharp objects.

    • #188702
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity: our MILs are twins separated at birth!! That is exactly the sort of drama queen behaviour to the nth degree my MIL is capable of πŸ™‚ Luckily dh only inherited a tiny dose, though he was busy having such a massive stress last night about pre-holiday work stuff and his insomnia that I decamped to the sofa at 3am. I will sleep there again tonight, not worth the hassle. He’s always a nightmare before holidays, just unbearable for a few days.
      We have our house guests again tonight, and we have to leave at 5 am tomorrow morning. I was hoping they would go today but they’re going to London for the day so it makes sense for them to stay. It’s just having an extra 4 people in the house just before we go is proving stressful. They are polite, considerate and lovely, I just wish I could see them another time… I had to give up my bedroom, and all my stuff is in there, ds1’s room has been given to the girls as it’s a bigger room, there is so much extra washing up and so on. The cats are busy being sick everywhere, the kids are overtired from having guests to socialise with (their kids speak no English and mine speak no French but they’re getting on great!), ds2 wet the bed, ds1 fell out of bed (they were sharing), and I’m so tired I’m sure I will forget the passports. I think I’m getting old and crotchety, I just don’t like having other people in my house, even very nice ones. They come with so much stuff which gets everywhere. I am right there with you bandicoot. What is with the pies? I
      would also give him a box of his own, tell him no more than will fit in the box and shove it in a cupboard when he’s not there!

    • #188705
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lol, what is it with house guests? DH’s best friend is coming tomorrow and will stay until Monday. I will relocate for the nights to my parents’ place who luckily are out of town. This guest is hopefully rather minimalistic, but on the other hand it really won’t bother me that much since I’m “goners” anyway. The guys will attend a festival and won’t have time to mess the place up, but we will still have to organize a few things before his arrival (to Ikea for another Alex unit, which was debated back and forth but mutually agreed upon last night after the piano had taken its leave – YAY!).

      I’m also thinking we will pick up one of their cord collectors to put underneath the desk, because our cords are currently all over the place and there is almost nothing I detest more in a house than visible cords (I’m not counting in unwelcome animals and such now).

      He is our first guest and I still am a bit shaky for some reason. Oh well, it will be fun for DH and I enjoy the guest’s company too. Plus he’s very low key with formality stuff so to speak.

      Re: MIL’s out there, why are so many of them so silly? I hope I will never belong to that category.

    • #188714
      Joless
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @Irishbell – that sounds like a nightmare, I am certain that I never want a wedding, seeing what other people go through!

      On my part, I have a building site for a house (don’t worry, we’re renting elsewhere), a lot of stuff in storage so I can’t find what I want (or throw out things I suddenly realise I don’t need) and I have just resigned from a job I hate so I am having interviews and so on. Busy busy busy!

    • #188737
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Update: unless DH is going to be offered over Β£150,000 a year, we aren’t going until April of next year at the earliest (I told DS that if he is offered that, we love him but we’re out of here. *grin*); all the visa slots are full.

      Ah, well. I wasn’t looking forward to trying to relocate two fifteen-year-old feline overlords; I’d rather wait until they pass on and then make the move.

    • #188746
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      our houseguest arrived with fully fifteen kilos of stuff just for us.
      an enormous suitcase just kept unpacking and unpacking in front of my mesmerised eyes.
      dvds. magazines. hand towels and tea towels. pie tins. can openers (the kind that pierce). rubber spatulas.
      no, he is taking the pie tins with him when he leaves, they are his own special pie tins.
      i tell you, it’s kinda hilarious!
      the dvds are loaners. the magazines are leftovers from his other job and depict a glossy lifestyle about a million miles from our own. the hand towels, tea towels, can openers, rubber spatulas are all for the workshop and very welcome. to a point.
      we have ENOUGH now.

      don’t get me wrong….i love this guy dearly, he is one of my favourite people in the world, but i am ruthless with the stuff.

    • #188756
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @bandicoot…I’d ask how long he plans to stay, but the real question is how often does he visit? Less is more, after all…. πŸ˜‰

    • #188764
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I was taught “Guests become smelly after three days” πŸ˜€

    • #188770
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      nina and jbeany….he is sort of only incidentally a house guest.
      he is primarily here to help us make soap whilst i am not up to my usual speed. (it is crazily specialised work and he knows our methods).

      also, earlier this year, he suffered the loss of all of his household goods (i mean all of them) in the queensland floods…..and the loss of the house he was staying in in between work shifts in the city.
      so we flew him up here to 1. help out with accommodation and 2. give him some work and 3. help us get out a huge amount of orders.

      we were doing this periodically once or twice a year anyway, but this year, it has been hectic, what with one thing and another, and we have had him here as often as not.
      so, he isn’t a house guest in that sense.
      we are helping one another out….and we are very old friends.
      we’ve just got wildly different levels of tolerance for stuff!
      i am not really complaining about him. just mocking the situation.
      if you saw the pie tins, you’d know what i was talking about.
      LOL.

    • #188778
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Can it be too bad? Anyone bringing pie tins must be baking pies….yum!

    • #188791
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And he can’t become smelly with all that soap!

    • #188801
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My grandma died a few hours ago. I have felt odd all evening and am completely exhausted now. I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me when I was allowed to start getting used to the idea by telling you guys of what is going on.

    • #188802
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      nina, i was just wondering how your grandmother was doing.
      i am so very sorry for your loss.
      my thoughts are with your family.

    • #188803
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My thoughts are with you as well, nina. I’m sorry.

    • #188806
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sorry, Nina.

    • #188808
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, nina, I’m sorry. Light with her always, and with us.

    • #188811
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry Nina, my thoughts are with you.

    • #188815
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh nina, so sorry to hear this.

    • #188820

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk — so sorry about your grandmother.

    • #188821
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry dear Nina, talk about your gram as much as you want.

    • #188833
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

    • #188835
      Rosa
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, I hope you’re doing well. You’re in my thoughts.

    • #188873
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      oh, Nina, I am so sorry to hear about your dear Grandma. Hugs to you, and my prayers are with you.

    • #188891
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thinking of you Nina as you deal with this terrible loss. My condolences to you and your family.

    • #189150
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      How are you Nina? You have probably not had time to check Unclutterer, but you are in my thoughts. Let us know how you are when you get a chance.

    • #189160
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      (((Nina)))

      I’m worried about my dad, who is 96: He’s declined dramatically over the past couple of weeks, and today my mom called to tell me he didn’t even get out of bed today and isn’t interested in eating. If the same happens tomorrow, we may have to have him transferred to hospital so that he doesn’t get dehydrated.

    • #189161

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry for your loss Ninakk.

      And Astreja, I am sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he is okay.

    • #189167
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you so much, all of you, for your kind words! I am rather exhausted, but that has more to do with the approach of my parents really. I thought, hoped that they had come to see things more from my perspective, but they have not. They keep crap around their own home, but now that grandma’s house needs to be decimated it would be easier for especially my mom to just chuck it all on the tip… *rolls her eyes* When there is too much to deal with, all recycling efforts seem too large for her and so it is up to my sister and I in the end to try and sort the stuff in as many piles as possible; keep, donate to charity, donate to friend for her to sell at her little flee market stand, donate to animal shelter, recycle, landfill. Oh and the worst; sell. The problem is, grandma’s house is an hour’s drive away so it is not just about locking us into the neighbour’s. At least this means any time we go there, we will have to be as effective as possible, and also there’s a deadline due to the rental contract.

      I don’t want to talk badly about my parents because I love them to death and they are the best parents/friends anyone could hope for, but when it comes to stuff they suck a bit. I slept at their place when we had our guest and oh. my. Where there is stuff, there is chaos. Not in the kitchen, but an office corner to mention one. And the basement; don’t get me started on that one. Let’s just say Justin Case reeeally is their best friend. Like forever. Yesterday, I sort of got my own perspective through to mom, though, and said something like “I don’t understand why people don’t see it as their responsibility to clean up their house so not all relatives have that task once they are gone” and mom replied “But what you perceive as crap might not be crap to someone else”. Oh come on. When I specified what I meant, she somehow got the point. Baby steps…

    • #189177
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, I got distracted and thought I had already commented on your situation. Turns out I had not sent you my sympathy and well wishes.

    • #189182
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

    • #189184
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja- sounds like the hospital is the place to be-at least for iv fluids and assessment of his condition.
      Best to you and your family.

    • #189189
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for your kind words, everyone.

      Update: I phoned my mom this morning, and learned that my dad had had a fall. I advised her to call 911, and paramedics have taken my dad to hospital. Will keep you posted.

    • #189191
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry to hear about your dad Astreja. Does sound like the hospital is the place for him at the moment.

      Nina – be sure to take big deep breaths and take care of yourself. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this.

    • #189216
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      {{{Hugs}}} to nina and Astreja both.

      I landed back in the hospital this week with a post-surgery infection, dehydrated and unable to even keep water down. *sigh* So much for a simple recovery this round.
      On the plus side, I’ve decluttered about 20 pounds of fat in the last month from not being able to eat much of anything.

      I’m not sure who is happier that I’m home – me or my fur-baby. She slept the first night with her nose snuggled as far into my neck as she could get. I’m sure the thunderstorm had something to do with her snuggle kitty routine, but it was a nice welcome nonetheless.

    • #189217
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry to hear this jbeany, hope you will be quickly on the mend!

    • #189221
      Zora
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Big hug, jbeany. Best wishes for a fast recovery.

    • #189222
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Visited my dad this afternoon/early evening; he’s been admitted to hospital, but is in Emergency till they have a bed for him on the ward. He doesn’t look good, and the doctors think he could have pneumonia.

      We picked up my mom from the hospital, took her for supper and then home for the night, and also cleaned up the forest of gigantic weeds in the back yard.

      I’m tired, mentally and physically.

    • #189231

      How is everybody going?

      jbeany, yikes! Take care. Use probiotics (Theralac) if you are or have been on antibiotics to replenish the good bacteria. Take it an hour or so after you take the antibiotic.

      Astreja, sorry to hear about your dad. You did so much even during this crises. I admire your ability! Hope it goes well.

    • #189234
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, It sounds like it has all come at once. He is in the best place to care for him. The physical challenge of the gardening might not have been necessary, but maybe it gave you a bit of an outlet? Take time for yourself to breathe, sit in the sun, eat well and sleep. I wish you and your family well. It is such a challenge when our parents are aging.

      Good to see you are posting Nina. It is bad luck you can’t take the time to deal with your grandmother’s stuff. The same advice to Astreja; Take time for yourself to breathe, sit in the sun, eat well and sleep.

      Jbeany you have had such bad luck. I hope that the infection is well under control now and that you can heal quickly. Take care of yourself and you also see advice above. I am a big believer in it.

    • #189235
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      astreja….my thoughts are with your family, and especially your dad.
      i am sending healing thoughts for him.

      jbeany, o no! what a horrible run you are having.
      please rest and take tender care of yourself, with good food and no stress, and the things jack mentioned too.
      i am a big believer in those too.

    • #189247
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja,
      a worrying time for you with your Dad, my thoughts are with you.

      jbeany, I’m sure the snuggling cat is excellent recovery therapy, hope you recover soon.

    • #189251
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      jbeany, I wish you a fast recovery! Keep that snuggle thingy close, they make you feel good and that heals you faster.

    • #189295
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Word on my dad is yes, it is pneumonia. They’re going to try a broad-spectrum antibiotic but avoid invasive tests and heroic measures (in other words, no life-support machines or defibrillators).

      My brother is flying in from the States tomorrow; after I pick him up at the airport we’re going to swing by to get my mom and all head out to the hospital.

    • #189303
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja-best to your dad and family.let your love as a family help you and keep you strong.
      Talking and revisiting some good old family memories is a fine and comforting way to keep up spirits while in the hospital.
      Even if your dad is not able to talk just yet, he will still hear you!

    • #189304

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja — thinking of you and your family. Stay centered.

    • #189306
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thinking of you, Astreja. Hugs.

    • #189361
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      thinking of you all who are facing challenges. May you find strength and hope where you can!

      Laetitia, what a great attitude to get everything managed before you have to be laid up. Best of luck with your surgery and recovery!

    • #189459
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good Luck with the surgery, Laetitia. I know my pre-planning before mine has helped immensely, especially when I had complications, and everyone knew where everything was and what needed to be taken care of while I was down for the count!

    • #189462
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best wishes, Laetitia–You have well-wishers all over this world.

    • #189464

      How is everybody going?

      Best to you Laetitia in Australia. I’ll mark 22 Sept on my calendar as the date of your surgery. Please do let us know how it went.

    • #189492
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia….Best of luck to you with your surgery. Sending good thoughts your way πŸ™‚

    • #189685
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, my husband worked on the Cardiac ward at Epworth about 14 years ago! I hope it all goes well.

      I hope your father is feeling better Asteja and that the antibiotics are doing their work.

      Thoughts with everyone facing health and other challenges.

      And Irishbelle, enjoy the wedding. You must be beside yourself with excitement!

    • #189697
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Hi, all… Things are not looking good for my dad. Doctor thinks that there could be a lung tumor because of the dense appearance of the area on X-rays. Dad not a good surgical candidate because of age (96) and frail build. He hasn’t been eating very much and has stated that he doesn’t want life support or to return home. Emphasis has changed to palliative care.

      Brother came up from the States for a few days but has returned home. A friend and I are helping my mom deal with things and getting her to and from the hospital. Essentially we’re all waiting and trying to keep ourselves and one another sane.

    • #189700

      How is everybody going?

      @Astreja: There is a book titled _Final Gifts_ that you may find helpful. Best wishes to you and your family during this trying time.

    • #189706

      How is everybody going?

      Hi Laetitia in Australia. Just some info I wanted to pass on to you:

      Lettuce helps blood coagulate. CoQ10 and fish oil thin the blood. I think before surgery they generally ask that you stop taking things that thin the blood because they want as little bleeding as possible. The caveat would be if someone is on blood thinners or other meds that thin the blood because they are otherwise needed; but I’m sure the doc has gone over this with you. What are you doing to prepare?

    • #189709
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, I wish you a good surgery and fast recovery! Your attitude is admirable.

      Astreja, I am so sorry to hear of your dad.

    • #189712

      How is everybody going?

      Actually, eating lettuce ahead of time would help for surgery because it would slow bleeding or help blood coagulate faster. Here in the US the docs would ask you to list all the meds and supplements you are taking and have (generally) you stop the ones that thin blood before surgery (but again, caveat, this may not apply to medically needed ones like warfarin).

    • #189758
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i got myself to bali as planned.
      i am hobbling around the stupendously uneven footpaths of ubud, having a lot of massages and smiles; doing NO shopping, but a lot of reading and relaxing; soaking up the gentle tropical winter warmth; catching up with friends; writing love letters to the husband; thinking happy thoughts.
      it is simple and good.

    • #189759
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot, How delightful to hear! Enjoy your newly recovered happy thoughts!

    • #189767
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I didn’t particularly like Eat Pray Love, but if it looks anything like it there I am officially in theory jumping on a plane right now. Sigh.

    • #189769
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i looooooathed eat pray love….book AND movie were about equally horrible, alleviated only by the smouldering javier bardem BUT i digress…..bali is completely beautiful though.
      i went for a drive today, not anywhere new, just the usual little villages on the way to here and there….and it is all so gorgeous, with the golden frangipanis in bloom and the elaborate penjors all along the roadside in preparation for a huge cremation on august 18, and the kites flying, and the gardens and the temples and the rice fields and and and….
      the people are beautiful, inside and out….i love it when the traffic is mad and the driver slows around a corner and suddenly you are face to face with a pedestrian or someone on a bicycle and you make eye contact and get a huge white-toothed smile.

    • #189772
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      last thing on wedding to do list: make bellinis for us while we do make up today!
      rehearsal went well, rehearsal dinner went well after a little awkward start.these are the kind of folks you have to kill with kindness, and we did. after dinner the hosts brought out their beautiful springer spaniel mommy and her 3 yummy little pups, melted everyone’s heart. i love puppies.
      today i am calm and peaceful as i expect to stay all day! yeeehaaawwwww :):):)
      i suspect daughter #3 will have a wonderful day!

    • #189774
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sure everything will be wonderful, Irishbell!

    • #189949
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ~ daughter’s wedding was divine ~

    • #189951

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell — when you’ve recovered, details, please! Divine is a great start . . .

    • #189960
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irish, Give us the goss!! I am glad it went well.

    • #190005
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @Irish What susan and Jack said! Tell, tell, tell!

    • #190041
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      it was a beautiful partly sunny day, 84 degrees.
      we had our hair done, came home and did our make up and drank bellinis.
      went to the club, frittered around a bit, got dressed, did some before pics, family pics etc.
      the ceremony, about 5:30 p.m.`was simple and non-religious, outside on lovely green grass.
      in front of an arbor the groom and his dad constructed.
      pretty white chairs flanked a center aisle, sprinkled with bright pink and orange rose petals.
      in front of a pond, surrounded by bright pink loosetrife(yes, I know it is invasive, but it is gorgeous), goldenrod, cattails, wild blue vervain.
      during the short- maybe 15 minute ceremony, monarch butterflies, dragonflies and damselflies were flitting all around the pond and wildflowers.
      dd was absolutely radiant and outshone the sun.
      my other daughters were bridesmaids and they, of course, were fabulously composed. they’ve since decided professional bridesmaiding is their calling.
      I had a few words with the groom as he walked me down the long, long aisle. …motherly words something to the effect of, “dd is now #1 in your life”.
      groom agreed, wisely. but i know he meant it.
      the day was divine, for dd,her husband and for our family!

      I decided to not let his family rent space in my head any longer. as there was some pretty awful and disgraceful behavior (from mom,aunts, master/mistress of ceremony and groomsmen-all grooms side of family)at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner,
      including our whole house/yard being tee peed that same night, yes it was. thankfully, wonderful dh was up early and had it all cleaned up before dd was awake to see it. we never mentioned a word of it to her.dh was on the roof,(we have a large 2 story home)picking it off. dh thinks grooms family were the culprits, and I tend to agree.
      i will never have to see these people again, so i let it go for the day.
      i don’t believe i’ve ever been so composed and grown up in my life, cripes- only took me 54 years!

      oh, and the CAKE was fabulous and delicious, exactly what dd wanted. she had her cake and ate it too!
      (if i can figure out how to post pics, i will when i get them)

    • #190042
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It sounds like an absolutely idyllic wedding. All your planning came off to perfection.

      So glad you do NOT have to deal with the groom’s nasty family again. I do not know what Tee pee is, but it sounds wantonly unkind. They were horrid people who FAILED to ruin the wedding for you all.

    • #190043
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lolol, toilet paper = TP. dh thought about 30 rolls or so, thankfully it did not rain that evening. that is a holy mess.

    • #190047
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      it sounds like it was perfectly beautiful…in spite of the cretinous in-laws.

      it is something to strive for actually….how to have a perfectly beautiful time, all the time, in spite of the wreckers.
      because there are always going to be wreckers, no matter what.
      and all we can do is change our reactions to them.
      o i am feeling so philosophical after my second coffee!

    • #190074
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      agreed there will always be wreckers.
      I’m not yet at point where I can tune them out always, but this day was much too important
      to let them ruin.
      I suppose you could argue that ANY day is too important to be ruined by miserable petty people.

    • #190082
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I can’t believe they toilet-papered your house πŸ™ How primitive and appalling. I’m so relieved to hear your daughter didn’t find out about it though. And it sounds like an absolutely fantastic day! How does it feel to have married all your daughters now?

    • #190083
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh ninakk, I have 2 still at home!

    • #190088
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh dear I thought this was the last one to fly out of the nest! πŸ™‚

    • #190177
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      In the 3+ years i’ve known the groom, I’ve never seen any behavior on his part toward anyone other than polite, funny and being good to my daughter. i’m wondering if maybe his mom or aunts or whoever suffer from manic depressive symptoms or substance abuse-the only logical reason i can think of for their erratic behavior. either way, i’m hoping the apple falls very very far from the tree. only time will tell. and at least dd’s eyes are open to what these women really are like.

      i met his dad for the first time at the rehearsal, when he and the mom were 30 mins late (one of them had a dr. apptmt)- he was perfectly “normal” and nice, as he was at the wedding.

      tp’ing around here is basically a middle/high school- juvenile activity.
      to be perfectly honest, i don’t know who did it, it is just very suspicious it was the night before the wedding, who else but close family and friends would know that, no other houses were hit (which a few houses in a row is often the case), my youngest daughter didn’t hear anything through the high school grapevine about who’s responsible (which is also often the case).

      dd and groom are now camping in the U.P. (upper peninsula of Michigan) and having a wonderful honeymoon.

    • #190222
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      They TP’d you? That is unbelievable! And no, that is totally NOT a wedding tradition in the area irishbell and I both live in. Rude, rude, rude. (And just plain weird, really.)

      Glad the rest of it went beautifully!

    • #190224
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Definitely not a wedding tradition. It’s a juvenile prank played on and by high schoolers with juvenile grudges against one another.

    • #190265
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      My dad passed away in hospital early this morning. He was 96.

      Even though he was very ill and the family was anticipating this, it was still a shock when the call came in. I’ve already called my brother in the States and e-mailed my contacts on my dad’s side of the family, and will probably just sit up for the rest of the night, trying to work this through in my mind.

    • #190268
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry to hear your news, sending you some cyberhugs x

    • #190273
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      gentle hugs and deepest sympathies for your loss, astreja.

    • #190275
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      That’s so sad, Astreja. I’m sorry for your loss.

    • #190277
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, I’m so sorry for this sad news. Condolences to you and your family.

    • #190280
      happymonkey
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope it won’t be long before all the happy memories outweigh the grief.

    • #190281

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja — so sorry. Anticipating it doesn’t make it any easier.

    • #190284
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, my condolences to you and your family. Loosing a parent is hard even when they’ve lived a long and fulfilling life.

    • #190301
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, I’m sorry, darling. Peace and grace to you and your family.

    • #190314
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sorry, Astreja. Try to focus on some good memories, okay?

    • #190316

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry Astreja. I read a book on pet loss once that said to write a good bye letter to your pet. I found it helps for people too, if I may make that suggestion to you. Then you can keep it or burn it or whatever you like.

    • #190345
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, everyone. After sitting up for a good long while last night, I phoned in to work to take the day off and then finally got a bit of sleep around 6 a.m. Spent late morning and early afternoon speaking to relatives on the phone and helping my mom deal with various things.

      For myself, I’m trying to keep up with my usual routines, because they have a calming effect on me. I went out to band rehearsal this evening, and tomorrow I’m going back to the office and will spend an hour or so at the gym to shake off some of the tension of the past few weeks.

      In Canada there’s a magazine called Maclean’s which has a last-page feature called “The End” — Articles about recently deceased people, written by the people who knew them. If I can find enough material I may try to submit a piece about my dad because he led an interesting life: Signals Corps in World War II; set up the transmission equipment for a lot of Canadian TV and radio stations; and worked on satellites and the Space Shuttle Canadarm.

    • #190386
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Astreja, I am so sorry for you loss. I have not been as active here the past couple of days so read of it only now. You are in my thoughts and I wish you and your family all the best right now.

    • #190429
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      so sorry for your loss, astreja.
      do what YOU need to do to get through each day.
      my mom passed 8 months ago, and while i cannot say it has gotten easier for me, it has gotten better, and i have found a way to live with it πŸ™‚
      everything you feel is right for you, and nothing you do or say or feel is wrong.
      sounds like your dad was quite a guy!

    • #190492
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry Astreja. It is never easy to lose a parent even if they have lived a wonderful life. I hope he was not in pain with the pneumonia. Thinking of you now and also those who have lost people recently.

    • #191064
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      How are you doing now Astreja? It can be a bit lonely when things start to move on for others and it still feels so recent for you. Please let us know how you are coping.

      Nina, were you able to clear your grandmother’s house within the time limit. It sounded like quite a job.

      Jbeany, are you recovering from your hernia surgery now? I hope the cats are being good care givers.

      Hope all is improving for those others who have been ill.

      And Irish, have you recovered from the frantic pace of wedding planning?

    • #191099
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @jack – I just got cleared last week to increase my activity levels. I can start on my treadmill again, and climb stairs as much as I want finally. (Once a day limit was fun with a second floor apartment.) The massive 6 inch gap where my muscles had separated along the original transplant incision stayed closed like it was supposed to, in spite of all my complications, so that’s a VERY good thing.

      My doc did toss a surprise at me. I asked about my 10 pound weight limit for lifting. He cleared me for working my way up to 25 pounds. Hurray, much easier. Except then he told me that was as far as I could go. A 25 pound weight limit FOREVER. There’s too much of a risk, even with the extra mesh support that’s been added, of my splitting myself back open. And a second repair would be even more difficult than the first. What? Ummmmmmm…. you couldn’t have mentioned that sooner, so I had a bit more time to wrap my brain around it? Speaking of retraining your brain…I’ve got to retrain an entire life-time of habits!

    • #191233
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack- I’m doing great, even though wedding planning is now in the past I’m still having a busy summer. But, I love it.
      Since daughter#1 moved back from Seattle we get to see her and her 2 boys almost on a daily basis, and I am ever so grateful for that blessing. It has made being without my mother just a little better.
      I honestly have nothing to complain about.
      And, shortly after the wedding I received a note of thanks in the mail from the grooms parents, color me surprised.
      (of course, I caught them sneaking out of the reception without a goodby or a thank you)
      I surely hope everyone else is healing and feeling and doing better.
      –Jack, how goes it with you?

    • #191235
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irish @ There are good things happening for me, such as gentle progress on designing our new sustainable house in the country. Unfortunately I got a bad cold six weeks ago and it became bronchitis. My lungs are my achilles heel after serious pneumonia and pleurisy in my 20s. I have been very sick with it, but the warm winter weather has been comforting and after four courses of progressively stronger antibiotics, I am improving. Still, nothing really to complain about.

      Wonders will never cease!! A thank you card??!!

    • #191250
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      just checking in on everyone….thanks for your updates.
      life really does just keep rolling along inexorably, doesn’t it?

      i thought it was turning spring-like here a few days ago, but we are back to very chilly nights again.
      i thought i was going to freeze at the swimming pool, the last couple of days!
      it’s been 4 months and 10 days since i snapped my leg, and i have to remind myself of that from time to time, when i get a bit irritable at not being able to walk as far or fast.
      easy does it, and i don’t exactly have a healing deadline.

      jack, my lungs are my weak point also.
      i studied herbal medicine in my youth, and have kept up my interest since.
      i have a herbal tea formula which has helped me immensely: http://www.patti-flynn.com/blog/2007/07/20/ent-lungs-herbal-tea-2/

    • #191268
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack the tigger, thanks for asking. We still have it going on, the lease is until 30 September. It is so tough that we have to take care of it in batches, as only 4-5 hours is completely tiresome. The lungs are yelling for fresh air and the head is spinning from all decisions, plus my parents each have their physical ails that slow them down. It is okay though and we will finish within the next month I’m sure.

      Irish, those people are something else πŸ˜€

    • #191901
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My mother’s sister died this morning. The last thing we needed right now.

    • #191903
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, Charity, I’m so very sorry. Hugs to you, if they’re of use.

      Anita, don’t you sometimes long for boring? I hope that things are a bit calmer now.

    • #191905
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      @Jackthetiger: Doing mostly okay right now… There was a crash-and-burn day when I wanted to do nothing at all, and it’s been harder than usual to wind down and go to bed at the end of the night. I also had a private hissy-fit in a basement closet at my mom’s house the first time I tried to sort through my dad’s junk hardware. There’s paperwork to be done and phonecalls to make, and I’m trying to do something every day to keep it all moving.

      Charity, my condolences on your loss.

    • #191907
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs from me too, should you like them.

      Anita, sorry I missed your bad day earlier.

      Today has been an angry day, first one since grandma’s death, for me. I have been angry at her for leaving such a friggin’ mess in every place possible.

    • #191911
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity, my deepest sympathies to you and your mother. It’s very sad to lose a sibling.

    • #191929
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Charity,
      So sorry about your Aunt, it is so soon after the loss of your Father and will be so hard for your Mum.

      ninakk,
      The angry day is understandable, you have been left to sort out what your grandma should have sorted out herself ages ago. We had the same for both DH’s seperated parents and for his Dad’s mess just decided to give up and pay someone to clear it all when we’d moved out the obvious things. Sometimes the burden of sorting is too much, you may not be able to deal responsibly with it all and just chuck some of it.

    • #191945
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, i think that angry is a perfectly natural response at some stage in the proceedings.
      you must be exhausted with it all.
      i wish i could come and help you shift stuff for a day!
      my wish for you is that you can channel the anger energy effectively. use it.

      my FIL had a little heart attack last week and has been in hospital 75 mins away….so we have been on the road a lot.
      last night he was shifted to a whizzbang cardiac unit, but it is 400 km away.
      he is having a double bypass at some stage soon.
      my husband is having plenty of anxiety over this happening while we are on the brink of departure to japan.
      we have shuffled some things and he can go visit his dad and overnight there so he doesn’t have the horrendous drive twice in one day (i did it once to visit my own dad there after he fell off a roof!).
      i gave the husband the option of cancelling the trip, but also pointed out that we are already 4 hours away……if we go to japan we will be 9 hours away.
      FIL is ancient, but in perfect health apart from a couple of blocked arteries.
      he is very fit, moderate in his habits, no stress, no drama, keeps an eye on his health….and will probably outlive us all!

    • #191946
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks bandicoot and Netleigh, warms my heart. Sorry to hear about your fil, bandicoot, hope he will do better soon!

    • #192041
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja and Charity, I am so sorry for the loss of your father and aunt. I will be thinking of you and sending love!

      Anita, I hope you are feeling better!

      Ninakk, hang in there!

      Bandicoot, I hope that your FIL comes through with flying colors!

      So many of you are having upheavals in your lives. Sending all of my Unclutterer friends love!

    • #192042
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Astreja, look what I found. I was looking up Canadian Signal Corps, and I found this little film.

      http://www.wpafilmlibrary.com/detail/canadian_signal_corps/470412d9-833b-998e-7442-225f08c5da63.html

      It’s kind of long, but you can skip around.

    • #192043
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best of everything to your FIL, bandicoot.
      Ancient and moderately healthy is something to strive for!

    • #192044

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot: Sorry to hear about your FIL. How long is the trip to Japan? My friend’s dh had quadruple (I think) bypass surgery and they wanted to send him home after 2 or 3 days. A relative had open heart surgery and she had complications and was in the hospital for quite a while but is fine now.

    • #192096
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My condolences to you Charity. It has not been an easy year for you.

      I hope your FIL is improving Bandicoot. Parents can be such a worry. Maybe it is their revenge on us for our teenage years!!!

      Astreja and Ninakk, be kind to yourself. Being angry does not mean you love your father and grandmother any less.

    • #192188
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I just got an email a couple hours ago that a friend of mine died earlier today – most likely of a heart attack. She was 64, and we were just talking earlier this week. She called to let me know that her daughter just found out she was having twins. I cannot believe it.

    • #192189
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, anger is one of the feelings of the second phase of grief. itΒ΄s okay and it helps you to overcome the feeling of sadness and depression. use it wisely, hugs!

      bandicoot, i hope your fil gets well soon!

      my condolences to you charity and pkilmain…

    • #192190
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, i am so very sorry for your loss.
      your friend was far too young, and what an absolutely dreadful shock for you and her family.

      we are only in japan for 9 days.
      it will be touch and go whether we get home before FIL does….so many variables at his end.
      i know that any surgery carries a risk….but i have great confidence in him.

    • #192195
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, I am so sorry for your loss. At least your dear friend called with happy news and you had a chance to talk to her, even though it was way too early for her to pass. I am truly sorry, also on behalf of her family.

      Mimi, I know it is that, but it was still making me feel quilty and so I had to say it out loud. Thanks for your choice of words, though, it was what I needed to hear.

    • #192209
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, pkilmain! How sad for you and her family!

    • #192213
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, pkilmain, I’m so very sorry.

      The realtor will be here at 2; I’ve had two hours of sleep after an early-morning sobbing meltdown, so I expect this afternoon to be very interesting. Also that I will be going to bed quite early.

    • #192226
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lucy1965, hugs are on offer. Why the meltdown? Have you explained it already and I have missed that?

    • #192239
      s
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      {{{hugs}}} to everyone. You’re all family!

    • #192257
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @lucy – sobbing meltdowns unclutter things, too.

    • #192365
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I am sorry for your loss Pkilmain. It must have been a real shock. Thinking of you.

      Lucy1965, I hope the house sells soon. I checked back over the thread and you have been living with uncertainty over your husband’s employment for a while. It is a big thing to negotiate moving cities (countries?) and to have to make new connections. Just be kind to yourself.

    • #192370
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      *waves hi*

      You are wonderful folk, first of all.

      Short version (we all know how I babble): the realtor said we wouldn’t get enough out of the house to cover what we owe and should apply for foreclosure; given that we aren’t behind on any of our bills yet and don’t anticipate being so for a couple more months, we thought this was an odd reaction and are getting a second opinion. DH was turned down for a job locally, but may have a line on another if we’re willing to move back to Minneapolis/St. Paul. This would mean DS having to make his own living arrangements, and everyone was weepy and clingy all night; the boys are not so big on change.

      The plan at the moment is to give our current state one more month to be awesome and come through with a job for DH; if not, we pack up, list the house, and go back to the land of killer midges and waist-high snow. We are really torn about it: it’s emphatically not where we want to be, and my relationship with his mom has always been fraught. OTOH, it’s a job with decent pay and kick-ass benefits, and his mother is 73 and has no one else in the country except a brother in Duluth. I know that fact worries DH, so I may have to be the bigger person and just deal with it.

      (Also, he promised me season symphony tickets as a Winter Solstice gift years ago; cashing them in for the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra and Minnesota Symphony is a decent incentive. πŸ˜‰ )

      Are any of us in MSP?

    • #192376
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Lucy, sorry to hear the real estate news, and the job news, knowing that neither is what you want. I’m sure you’ll make the best of things, but it’s hard postponing (not giving up entirely!) your dream locations. I’ll be in Portland area from 9/17-30. Be glad to send you lots of photos….

    • #192378
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, p. I found out today that my best friend is considering moving from Eugene to Portland, to take up a job in her field that would pay her well and let her use her mad language skills, and I wanted to put my head down and bawl. I did laundry instead.

      Honestly, the interaction with the realtor is more a frustration than a heartbreak at this point: the person in question is the parent of one of my son’s best friends, and we’ve known each other for 15 years — I recognize that there’s not going to be a fantastic commission out of the sale of this place; OTOH, I think there is enough potential for her to make her commission and us to get clear of it, which is probably the best we can hope for at this point. I’m also pounding my head over another friend saying they wished they’d known we were considering selling two months ago, as they were moving back to the area and would have loved to buy our house. Well, if I’d known WE might be moving two months ago, I could have done that, but my crystal ball was in the shop.

      If you go to the Japanese Gardens, tell the tea house I miss it and I’ll be back as soon as I can? I would adore any photos you chose to share with me.

    • #192389
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Could your husband’s mother move out there with you and help some with expenses, lucy? Just a thought!

      Sending loving thoughts your way! I wish for an awesome job for your husband right there where you are!

    • #192390
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, It can be a little hard to understand the fine points of your circumstances from another country. I was wondering if the house you own is in the city where you want to live in the future? If so, it seems to me that it has only lost value on paper because you need to sell it. If you did not need to move, it would not matter what the valuation is because you would have to live somewhere. Given that the work situation is such that you may need to move around to get jobs, is it essential that you sell your house at all? Would it be better in the long term to rent your home out and use the rental payments to cover the mortgage? That way, you could rent a home elsewhere and move when you needed to without the burden of selling. If you rented a cheaper home, you may well be able to top up the repayments without being any worse off. I suppose that you have put money into the house and it would be frustrating to walk away with nothing. If the house is not where you want to live in the future, you could still rent it now and sell it later when your economy improves.

      I hope I am not being simplistic about your circumstances, but I was trying to put myself in your shoes and consider what my options would be. The US economy has faced challenges before and has rebounded over time, so if you can maintain your investment, you may find that in time the prices will return.

      I do understand that the house might be a burden that you want to declutter and that you want to get away from it and move on. Sometimes we have to cut our losses.

      Best wishes, and don’t be pushed into making the wrong choice for you by estate agents who have their own agenda.

    • #192410

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia in Australia, how are you doing? Thinking of you and your upcoming operation.

    • #192417
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Claycat, my MIL very much has her own life where she is: she’s in a retirement community she adores, she works with stroke victims at the hospital where she was a L&D nurse before retirement, her quilt guild is there . . . I personally hope that DH finds something locally, too, just for another year.

      Jackthetigger, I have watched neighbors manage rental properties and I’m not cut out for that level of stress, particularly not from a distance: the strongest job offer at the moment is in DH’s hometown 1300 miles away. The house is 100 years old and needs constant maintenance, and a tenant “doing a runner” and leaving us with large repair bills could wreck us.

      We’re still here because my son (and his biological father and extended family) is here; if not for him, we’d have left long since: this place doesn’t suit us and I’m nomadic by nature. But I do have a son, and it’s another year before his partner graduates from uni and they start their lives together; besides, DH and I like him as well as loving him. He’s a kind, considerate human being and we enjoy his company very much.

      Does that help to clarity things, at all?

    • #192439
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      What is up with the universe today? My dad took a fall last night and luckily his skull staid intact and he can still see. Half of his head is larger than normal and I wouldn’t recognize him if that side was the only I got to see. A nurse who happened to be present said she can’t take care of it so he had to be transported from an island to mainland and then to the local hospital. The skull bone had been visible to her before she patched him up a bit, after which he got god knows how many stitches on the forehead. And my husband just called to tell me he had been in an almost car accident when the tyre blew on the highway. Jesus, can’t I have some peace and quiet already?

    • #192455
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, I am so sorry. You need smooth waters restored to your life! Sending prayers and love to you!

      Texas is burning! We are surrounded by fire, and we have been having heavy wind that is expected to continue for the next two days. The county over from us, Bastrop, is on fire. According to what I just read, 300 houses have been lost. My boss’s daughter had to evacuate her family, and she believes her homes is one that has burned. πŸ™

      I have pulled the cat carriers into the house, so I can load up my cats quickly. Unfortunately, some of them are outside cats, and we feed several others.

      I’m getting papers and some photos and other things ready. Hopefully, fire won’t come here, but I am trying to prepare as much as possible.

      This should give you a heads up on the situation.

      http://ticc.tamu.edu/Response/FireActivity/

    • #192457

      How is everybody going?

      Claycat: best of luck to you. The fires (so far) are pretty far north of us. When we were coming home from dinner tonight through the wind was high and hot — this weather has been so odd. Stay safe!

      Ninakk — thinking of your father. Sounds frightful.

    • #192477
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, Good luck with selling your house. It sounds like a charming home full of character for some lucky person. I hope I did not seem too bossy in my previous post, but you just sounded so stressed the other day. I imagine you have considered all the options. You must do what will make you happy. Keep your chin up and we wait on your good news!

      Ninakk you do need some quiet times. I am so glad your husband was ok. Your father seems to have made sure he did a thorough job with this fall. I wish him a speedy recovery and no ongoing health problems. We are so lucky to live in this age where medical science can do so much to relieve these injuries.

      Claycat, I am thinking of you as you prepare to evacuate. Bush fire is such a fearful and unpredictable thing. I hope you and your family will be safe and that your home will be spared. I saw some images of Texas and the drought on the news the other night when they were showing a new oil field. We well understand how heartbreaking it is to be under such stress from the environment. Please be careful.

    • #192488
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jackthetiger and susanintexas, thanks for your kind words. Fortunately there is no fire in my neighborhood at this time. However, I have things ready if I have to leave. Texas continues to be under red flag warning throughout the day. We got a lot of strong wind from TS Lee but no rain. We have been under exceptional drought conditions for almost a year.

      Fire in Bastrop County has burned over 300 homes and is not contained. There is fire in Austin and many other areas, too.

      This is a photo of the fire in Bastrop County yesterday.

      http://interactives.kxan.com/photomojo/gallery/964/17/labor-day-weekend-fires/highway-71/

    • #192490
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      After the danger is over, I will get serious about my photo clutter. I am going to arrange my paper photos, so I have the most important photos in two or three albums, not two or three boxes! Also, I am going to scan, scan, scan.

      I updated my flash drive yesterday with additional photos and put it in a box to take in case fire started here.

      My SIL and I went through a bunch of my MIL’s photos yesterday. We put half a box (book box size) in the trash. We are splitting the photos between 3 siblings and several friends and relatives, so that will help tremendously.

    • #192493
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good luck with the house, darling lucy1965 πŸ™‚

      Stay safe, Claycat! You’ve inspired me to move my own photos up along the priority list and some less important tasks down.

    • #192497
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Claycat, love, please be careful. If they tell you to go, go. My cats’ current vaccination records and AVID IDs are all in one folder, but you’ve reminded me that they need to be photocopied and put in their bug-out bag. I hope yours can go back in the closet in a few days’ time.

      Jackthetiger, I [i]was extremely stressed that day! *grin* No harm done, ducks, except perhaps to a table: a friend said that she wished they’d known we were thinking of selling up, as they’ve just moved back to the state and would have loved to buy it. I pounded my head on the nearest hard surface after hanging up: her husband did a lot of the repair work on this place before they moved away, they love the neighborhood, and I would have happily sold it to them.

      ninakk, dear heart, I wish us both a calmer week! As my best friend said, last week is fired[/i], and the rest of this month had better be filled with awesome things.

    • #192524

      How is everybody going?

      Looks like we now have a wildfire — not too far from my pilates class, but still about 10 miles from me.
      http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Two-alarm-fire-threatens-homes-in-Stone-Oak-2156301.php

    • #192533
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My dad has his defibrillator checked last week, and found out he’s been in A. fib. since April.
      Cripes, how was this not caught? Calling cardiologist tomorrow. I dread the thought of going back to the heart center with him.
      Having parents that have had such awful medical problems has made me so much more aware of taking better care of myself.

    • #192540
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Geez, irishbell, April? Little slow on the uptake there for the doc’s part, yes? Hope he gets that taken care of soon.

      Earthquakes, hurricanes, fires – Mother Nature is in a snit this summer, isn’t she?

      Stay safe everyone!

    • #192564
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      you guys are living in interesting times for sure.
      would life be half so sweet though, if it was plain sailing all the time?
      (we would all die of boredom!).

      healing thoughts to your respective fathers, irishbell and nina.
      they are fortunate to have good daughters who care about them.

      please stay safe claycat and susan.
      i’d rather a cyclone than bushfire. it scares the living hell out of me.
      and what an incentive to sort the photo cloutter! impressive!

      we phoned MILyestreday from the airport; our flight was delayed.
      FIL made it through his op, turned out to be a triple bypass, and is in icu and doing fine.

      arrived in tokyo last night at midnight, after a 3am start.
      tiiiiiired and footsore in spite of my 7 kilo bag!
      put on eyemask, foam ear plugs, dropped into feather-soft bed, and slept dreamlessly until 8am this morning!
      it is warm, but overcast andhumid…..we got slightly drizzledn last night, but ot enough to actually break outour raincoats or anything.

      we’ve been out this morning running around the ginza, marvelling at the immaculate streets, the beautifully dressed japanese, and the general politeness and consideration exhibited everywhere.
      we spent an hour in the food hall beneath a big department store and the stuff was all so gorgeously displayed. tokyo ishaving a long-distance affair with paris…..there are hints of their romance everywhere!
      we had lunch at a traditional japanese looking restaurant…..just pointed at the pictures on the menu….everythig was new to us and very delicious.
      looked at a wild array of designer goodies in the department stores (omg the furoshiki cloths) and PURCHASED a tiny bag of dandelion root and burdock tea for an eye-watering sum of money. the heck with the cost, our livers will be clean as whistles!
      just having a cup of jasmine tea in the lobby and answering some mail, then going up to the room for a nap (i have to put this foot up), then out to hang out some more this evening….i am dying to see the ginza lights by night!
      tomorrow, a really early start…..we have to be at the big fish market by 4am, then go for a sushi breakfast!

    • #192567
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Gee you have a great time Bandicoot. It sounds fantastic. I see that you “HAVE” to go to the fish market πŸ™‚

      Thinking of your fathers Irish, Nina and Bandicoot. Hope all goes well with them. Good luck with your surgery Laetitia. I hope you will be back home with your family quickly.

      Claycat and Susan, I have been following the fires and I am sending you my best wishes. They are so widespread. It is horrible waiting for wind changes, rain or successful containment. Just remember there are people all over the world thinking of you. Keep us up to date when you can.

    • #192582
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      my apologies for the typo-riddled post above….i suck at ipad typing.

    • #192585

      How is everybody going?

      Claycat and susanintexas: how scary! Thoughts are with you.

    • #192612
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      The Bastrop County fire in Texas is still not contained. At this time, about 30,000 acres have burned and around 600 homes. The fire is about 2 miles from the historical center of town, and they are trying to keep it away. There was a beautiful pine forest in Bastrop called The Lost Pines, and now it appears to be truly lost. πŸ™

      Thinking of you, Laetitia!

    • #192659
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I haven’t checked in for a couple of days and come back to find many crises.
      So I’ll send my best wishes, hopes for pleasant outcomes and love to all who are facing elder problems, health problems, household worries and environmental dangers.
      The Texas fires have actually hit the UK news websites so they must be scary.

    • #192677
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia @ What dates will you be in hospital? Are you sure you be well enough for visitors?

    • #192840
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It turns out that my Dad’s defibrilator is working just fine. His heart constantly keeps wanting to go into a fib, so the pacaemaker part shocks it back to a normal rhythm and the defib part keeps it at a steady pace. Evidently, folks that are in their late 70’s and up have this happen more often than not, we just didn’t know it.
      My best wishes to all as life keeps happening every day. πŸ™‚

    • #192877
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      At this point in time, 1, 386 homes have been lost in the Bastrop fire. I am beginning to be amazed at how resilient the people are. My boss’s daughter and her family, who lost their house, went to a park and flew kites after they lost their house. They were so glad to be safe, it didn’t matter that they had lost their possessions.

      Many of these people have an opportunity to start afresh. For some, though, it’s going to be very difficult, if they didn’t have insurance.

      It is a good lesson for me about my possessions. If it ever happens to me, only a few things are going out the door with me, besides my husband and our cats.

    • #192878
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So yesterday was my appt with the naturopath. I spent over an hour with her, and got lots of information. She has several avenues she wants to explore and so I had to go have some blood drawn for 2 tests – one for thryoid hormones beyond the annual test the other doc does which is in the normal range and another for stored iron. I am always borderline anemic. Meanwhile, she had me start on CoQ10 which she says works to combat some of the effects of statins (which I take for cholesterol). Other than that she was happy with what I’ve been taking. Oh, and she also advised me to add more cinnamon which apparently has good blood sugar regulation properties. And of course, she noted that adding exercise will help. πŸ™‚ So right now I’ll wait to see what the blood tests show. She says she has other ideas, but the blood tests will show if there’s a problem in the most common areas.

      I picked up the CoQ10 and started taking it last night. Today I commit to a 10-15 minute work in the neighborhood!

    • #193094
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      greetings and salutations from kyoto!
      we are thoroughly enjoying the beautiful city and watching the beautiful citizens of kyoto.
      i`ve never seen so many smashingly-dressed people in my life and everyone has got a fabulous haircut (including me! i had mine cut here yesterday, with only a few basic words between me and the entire salon, and lost of gestures!)
      everyone has exquisite manners and the streets are immaculately clean.

      there are heaps of beautiful things for sale and the things i am struggling with the most are the ceramics.
      every restaurant seems to have it`s own set of handmade plates, different ones for every type of dish.
      at home we embrace minimalist generic white maxwell and williams plates, but now i am starting to wonder.
      lol.
      it has been a lot warmer than expected and my leg has been difficult, and i am so grateful for my one-bag policy!

    • #193097
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Bandicoot- oh! I am all for mixing and matching pieces, what fun!

    • #193099
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      irishbell, that all sounds just perfect.
      how nice of the dh to hand over all the space!

      the apartment that has been very generously loaned to us here, has a tatami room.
      tatami mats on the floor.
      a window.
      a bamboo ceiling lamp.
      sliding paper screens for door and closets.
      in the closets: 2 folded futons plus 2 buckwheat pillows, plus a set of beclothes for each futon….and that is all.

      i love it.
      i cannot sleep on those futons, but it is nice to meditate in the quiet room with the slightly grassy scent of the tatami, and absolutely nothing to distract the eye.

    • #193131
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oops, tried to move my post about the closet rework to the right topic and I lost it!
      must have been too late for me…
      Laetitia-best wishes up you and your heart πŸ™‚

    • #193143
      jbeany
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Today, I’m glad I don’t watch much TV. Even the cartoons in the paper are making me tear up. RIP to everyone we lost on 9-11.

    • #193144
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yes, Laetitia, I wish you a successful surgery and a very fast recovery. Thinking of you and glad you wanted to share the date with us.

      jbeany, I can’t believe it is ten years ago already. I still remember where I was when the news hit me here in Finland and how I felt. I was in shock for quite many days, couldn’t turn off the computer and was feeling very powerless in general.

    • #193149
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I woke up, left the radio off and picked up the phone to wish my friend a happy birthday (she’s a native New Yorker; I remember staying up all night on-line with her, and the way we cried when the wind changed and she could smell the smoke. She’s out of state with friends today) and my brother and his husband a happy anniversary.

    • #193417
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I hope nothing more develops with those sore glands, Laetitia! You will be in my thoughts!

      The Bastrop fire is nearly contained. The most recent count shows that around 1,600 homes have burned in that area. Thanks for asking! I know that you know, all too well, what a wildfire can do, Laetitia! Australia has more than its share!

    • #193455
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good luck Laetitia. I will contact you on Google+.

      Claycat, I have been thinking of you and Susan and hoping you are safe. Thank goodness they have contained the fire, although you will not feel fully secure until it is blacked out. Hopefully this is the last fire for the Summer as you begin to move into autumn.

    • #193460

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, JTT — we are fine here in San Antonio, although we have had six brush fires in the last week and lost about 125 acres — Claycat’s area is more rural and much, much worse. We’ve had less than seven inches of rain all year. Drought stinks.

    • #193481
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      good luck laetitia!
      i hope the glands clear up so you can get on with your surgery as planned.

    • #193560
      vjb
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yikes, Laetitia! If there’s anything I can do for you or your husband while you’re down in Melbs, just let me know! My brother has a similar problem, and is dreading the day he’ll need the surgery that you’re undergoing.

      All my health issues over the last couple of months (thankfully now largely sorted) seem very insignificant compared to heart surgery… Best wishes for the op.

    • #193564
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, I have sent you a message on Google+. Good luck with everything.

    • #193565
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good luck Laetitia xx

    • #193572
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good luck, Laetitia! I wish you a fantastic surgery and a really fast recovery. Thinking of you.

    • #193589
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, my very best wishes to you and your Ian.

    • #193602
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, I wish you all the best with successful surgery and a speedy recovery!

    • #193617
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, you will be on my mind! Sending love and healing thoughts!

    • #193632

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia in Australia: Thinking of you and your upcoming surgery! oxoxox

    • #193843
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      For those who haven’t checked her blog, it seems like Laetitia’s surgery went well.

    • #193880
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m happy to hear it. Thanks for the update.

    • #193898
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, that’s good news!

    • #193900
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Feeling very thinky the last couple of days . . . .

      A local trade show by DH’s Former Employer is next month; it’s the one time every year that DH gets to see many of his friends IRL. For various reasons, this may be the last held; for us, it is almost certainly the last for which we’ll be in-state. For the past 15 years, we’ve thrown a party at our home to celebrate the end of the show; DH and I have wondered if we could afford to do so again. Several friends have said they wanted the party, as it was one of the events they most enjoyed and everyone would simply bring their own beer and nachos.

      An awful lot of party supplies are going to go out the door the next morning; it will empty an entire section of the cold storage. I’m feeling melancholy and relieved all at once.

    • #193901

      How is everybody going?

      Good to hear the news about Laetitia in Australia. Her husband is asking for prayers on her blog.

    • #193905
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good to see Laetitia’s doing well.

      Lucy, it sounds as if the people who would come to the party really enjoy the event you hold. If they understand that they need to bring drinks and food to share, then I think you should have one last mega blast as a group. Get some great photos of everyone and celebrate that you had this group in your lives.

    • #193912
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      it sounds like laetitia’s doing great, over on the blog.
      lots of healing thoughts to her!

      lucy, the party sounds like fabulous fun and really worth doing one last time.
      not to mention the built-in decluttering potential.

    • #193924
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, you two. Neighborhood Cleanup is also that week, so the whole seven days is going to be full of “this is the last time we’ll do x“. Hey, since they aren’t making presenter shirts available this year, I wonder if DH would be willing to donate his old ones in a good cause? Someone remind me of this when we get closer to the week of the 10th, okay?

    • #194114
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yay – you are home! I’m happy to hear that everything went well. πŸ™‚

      How are you doing otherwise?

    • #194115
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Excellent news πŸ™‚

    • #194116
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best wishes for a quick and uneventful recovery!
      It is amazing – the resilience of our bodies!

    • #194117

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia: wonderful news! Here’s to a speedy recovery.

    • #194123
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hooray! Glad to hear you’re doing well!

    • #194127
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      crisis mode here: husband ambulanced off to big hospital on the coast, 75 mins from home.
      he has been sick since we got home from japan and things escalated today.
      this isn’t flu.
      loads of freaky tropical stuff around here….take your pick from dengue fever, japanese encephalitis, leptospirosis, malaria, ross river fever etcetera just to begin with.
      fortunately it’s one of the best places on the planet to show up with a freaky tropical disease, so he is in good hands.
      i left him, still in emergency, awaiting a bed on a ward, all hooked up to everything and under close watch, at 1.45am, and drove home to feed cats and sleep. and now i am wide awake.
      i’ve got some work in the morning, then i’ll go back down to see him.
      it’s been a most eventful year on the health front around here.

    • #194129
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Serious good wishes, bandicoot.

    • #194136
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia,
      Glad to hear your op went OK and you are home. Hope all the healing up progresses well.

      Bandicoot,
      Hope they get to the root of the freaky illness dh has quickly, it seems to be your year for too much hospital attendance. Hugs if you need them.

    • #194139

      How is everybody going?

      Ohh Bandicoot — sending good thoughts to you and DH. MY DH contracted dysentery while in Egypt and it was nasty.

    • #194140
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Omg bandicoot! That is scary stuff πŸ™ I hope they find out which freaky thing he has and treat it well… Look after yourself.

    • #194142
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia — hooray, you’re home! Now rest, and take your pain medications: you’ll heal faster if you give yourself time for it. We’re so glad you’re back!

      bandicoot — hon, there isn’t really a loyalty card programme for hospital visits: you don’t get points for going there frequently. πŸ˜‰ It’s good to hear that your DH is in such a well-regarded facility, but I hope that he’s on his way back with you all the faster because of it.

      *hugs to you both if they’re welcome*

    • #194147
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Bandicoot, I am so sorry your husband is ill! Sending love and healing thoughts to you both!

      Laetitia, I’ve been keeping track on your blog, and I am so happy with your progress! πŸ™‚

    • #194148
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot-my goodness, never a dull moment eh?
      best thoughts for a speedy recovery for your dh.
      and also, take care of yourself-you can’t both of you be sick at the same time!

    • #194151
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Bandicoot. You are having a rough trot. I hope all is well; those are some scary options. Take care with all the driving.

      Congratulations on your release from hospital Laetitia. It was nice to have a chat on the phone.

      It is so small in comparison, but I have been dog tired over the last week and I thought it was just the 14 hour days I was working. Now after two days on holiday (aka waiting for tradesmen!) I have shingles. So now it is time to get into the smelly pine tar bath. Still, it could be much worse…

    • #194153
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Oh dear, friends! I hope things straighten out for Bandicoot’s husband.

      Jackthetiger, so sorry for your shingles! My sis had them so bad once that she had to drop out of college for a semester. You don’t like the pine tar soap? That used to be the family shampoo when I was a kid. My dad swore by it, and still does!

      In our neck of the woods the staff is dog tired and several of us are taking turns being in meltdown mode.

      Old kitty still amongst us. I had to add meds to control diarrhea caused by antibiotic. She is getting used to having me hang her rear end over the sink to rinse off. Mental image you have is nowhere near as bad as reality is on this. πŸ™‚

    • #194157
      rutheverhart
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, I am late to the recovery wishes here, but read your blog and am so glad your recovery is going well. It’s amazing what a body can go through in the name of healing!

      Bandicoot, thanks for keeping us posted on your husband.

      Jack, I think there IS a connection between the shingles and the 14 hour days! I hope you feel better — and maybe can use this as a reason for some paid time off! Your body needs a break!

    • #194158
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      deb, a big furry hug for you and the kitty.

      jack…shingles are utterly horrid. and not to be messed with. please rest, and look after yourself gently.

      i am just returned from the hospital…the drive is getting longer and longer….the husband is vastly improved from the wee hours of this morning. compos mentis, cracking jokes, a few tubes and wires have been removed…..but still no word on what the virus or bug is and still no move to a ward.
      an emergency dept is no place to sleep.
      thank you so much for all your warm wishes!
      i passed them on, he was charmed.

    • #194159
      s
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best wishes, Laetitia!

      And best to you and your husband, too, bandicoot!

      And same to you, too, JtT!

      Oy, best to everyone!

    • #194163
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh my gosh, I’m beginning to be afraid to read this thread:
      Jtt- I’ve seen that shingles are nothing to mess with. Please take care!

    • #194190
      snosie
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I fell off my motor scooter, and fractured my right shoulder. Had 4-5 hours in emergency while they put me in a spinal collar, and tried to make sure there was nothing more drastic than the fracture. First day or two were ok, but now being injured (and not being able to put up my hair!) are getting me down!

    • #194191

      How is everybody going?

      Irish: I’m with you — jinx, jinx, jinx.

    • #194193
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      @snoosie, Oh dear! I am so glad you weren’t hurt worse, but it must be horrible to be so restrained! I had rotator cuff issues an entire summer before the right doctor finally took action. It was horrible not being able to reach my head to wash my hair or to put something in my own pocket! Make sure you do your PT when it is time! Physical therapy worked wonders!

    • #194194
      Parsifal
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thought I’d chime in… sent myself to the ER earlier this semester making curry (7 stitches) then had a slight breakdown from discovering that going back to school after 10 years is a lot of work. Doing much better now, drinking an herbal infusion and making flash cards (the day BEFORE the day before a big test!). Also, DW has a job now – not a great job, but a job I very much appreciate.

      Much sympathy for all those dealing with hospitals and recuperation…

    • #194199
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      you crazy kids!

      snosie, i have a honda shadow aero 750 but i think i’ve lost my nerve.
      i hope your shoulder is on the mend as soon as it can be….we never think about our shoulders until they are hurt and then it is suddenly obvious just how much they are involved in everything we do.

      parsifal, i have had curry-related injuries before, but never actual stitches. you are hardcore!
      i have a funny story about curry, a romantic night overlooking the taj mahal from an excruciatingly expensive hotel balcony, and the worst food poisoning ever…..but that’s for another time.
      congrats to DW on the employment and i hope the job improves as she settles in.

      i’m off to ship orders, finish laundry, deliver orders, then hit the city for a massage and a long visit with the invalided one.
      and i’ll say this: the hospital food here is about ten times nicer than the hospital food in paris! weird!

    • #194200
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh gosh Jack! Did you see a doc and get some anti-viral meds? My DH had a really bad cas about 3 years ago- vrey not fun.

      Bandicoot, hopr your DH continues to do better.

      And Laticia, glad to here you are out of hospital – take care.

    • #194204
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Glad to hear that you are out of the hospital, Laeticia!

      Bandicoot, I hope that your husband gets a diagnosis soon so he can get to feeling better right away.

      Snosie, Jackthetiger, and Parsifal, feel better!

    • #194270
      vjb
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Wow, a litany of ills since I last checked in.

      Get better soon Snose, Jackthetiger and Bandicoot’s husband! Warm wishes!

    • #194273
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i spoke to the husband’s dr today.
      they do not know what the virus is.
      he is improving really rapidly.
      they stopped iv today….if he continues to improve tomorrow, he gets to come home sunday!
      yippee!

      meanwhile i have been organising, sorting, donating, upgrading, replacing, cleaning, arranging.

    • #194278
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Glad to hear your dh is so much better, bandicoot πŸ™‚ So funny that it has triggered an uncluttering spree, but I often blitz things when feeling stressed too!

    • #194320
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Bandicoot, that’s great news on your husband’s recovery! I hope they can figure it out. The not-knowing is a pesky feeling.

      Parsafil, good luck on the schooling. I did the same things several years back, at the time computers had come into the field and I didn’t know anything about them yet. Flashcards are a great study guide! Here’s a website to make electronic flashcards (that you can also print). The great thing is that sets designed by others are already up there for your use. Might save some time! http://quizlet.com/

    • #194324
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sounds like great news for bandicoots dh!
      It sounds similar to dd hospital stay a few years back.
      On the third day of what we thought was Flu,I took her to the ER. Numerous tests, procedures and 5 days later:
      diagnosis was something like:self limited colitis brought on by severe intestinal bacterial infection.
      Thankfully, there’s still so much that can be done when the Drs. don’t know exactly with what they are dealing!
      Not very specific- but IV fluids, anti nausea meds, antibiotics, some potassium and she was finally on the mend.
      With some expert medical care and lots of good old fashioned bedrest, well- the body can work wonders.
      (silver lining for dd- she had lost so much weight -much deserved shopping spree!)

    • #194332
      vjb
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So glad your husband is on the mend, bandicoot!

      How are you doing now, Laetitia? Everything still healing up well?

    • #194345
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I hope all who have suffered from physical and emotional illness are feeling better!

      My parents handed over grandma’s keys this Thursday and her home is no longer. Stuff there is still to deal with, however, but the huge stress and anger I’ve felt are now gone.

      Is there something going on in the Google group? I have some stuff to share that I would like to stay private. I don’t have an account set up yet, but maybe someone has an invitation still?

    • #194347
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk, You have really climbed a mountain with your grandmother’s house.

      I will send you an invitation if you send me an email to [email protected]. There are a few people on Google+ but you have to add people to your circles when you receive your invitation. I will add you to my Unclutterer circle, then you add me and any others you want to your circles.

      Also, thanks for the good wishes. I am feeling much better, although I am still annoyed this hit during my holidays. I assure you that I do not always 14 hour days, Ruth, but it was just all the end of term events. I have accrued many weeks of sick leave, so I will be fine if I am not up to work next week.

      I hope you are happily at home in Queensland Laetitia and feeling well.

      Good to hear things are looking up for those who have been ill.

      How about we all commit to NOT having curry injuries, scooter crashes and viral infections for a while. That includes our families too!

    • #194355
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack, I am glad you are feeling better. Sending wishes for speeding healing!

      Snosie, I am so sorry you hurt yourself! Speedy healing for you, too!

      Deb, do you give your cat plain yogurt? It really helps kitties with diarrhea!

      Love and healing and blessings to all of you on unclutter forums!

    • #194367
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      dh discharged himself from hospital on saturday night….he was jonesing to get home and get some real sleep.
      they sent him off reluctantly with an antibiotic script and still no clue as to what ails him.
      he continues to improve in every way and says he feels fine now, just a bit weak and tired.
      on sunday he developed a rash in about ten minutes…..entire back, torso, arms, shoulders.
      it is a classic dengue fever rash, but it has made its appearance about two weeks later than the other symptoms.
      bizarre!
      still waiting for a bunch of test results, but i am putting my money on dengue fever.

    • #194368
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It sounds a bit bizarre Bandicoot. What is the recovery time for dengue fever? I hope a correct diagnosis helps to focus his treatment for the quickest recovery possible.

      You tropics dwellers certainly have a cocktail of ills outside the front door!

    • #194369
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Your poor hubby, bandicoot! I understand Dengue fever is uncomfortable but not deadly. Preferable to the other type of Dengue!

      You are both in my thoughts. Wishing for quick recovery and easing of discomfort!

    • #194370
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i just phoned the dr in cairns and described the rash.
      he said the timing is completely wrong and he reckons it is an antibiotic reaction.

      the husband will see the local quack at midday (i have zero faith in her….he saw her on tues, she sent him home, and within 6 hours i was calling an ambulance…but there is just nobody else available right now).

      apart from that, he will have a fresh round of blood tests in a week and they will continue to sift and look for clues.
      right now he has filled the car with recyclables from the workshop and has driven off to drop them off.
      he is sleeping a lot, but the fever has gone and he looks good.
      there is a lot of mystery virii out there…they cannot possibly keep up with them all and they mutate and shift all the time too…..so nobody is holding their breath for a diagnosis.
      i don’t care as long as he is getting well.

    • #194382
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i am glad to see that i am not the only one sporting original fashions post-surgically.
      a slip under a flannel shirt sounds quite fetching and gloriously comfy!
      continued good wishes for your convalescence.

      the husband said the hospital faxed over bazillions of pages of blood test results with dozens and dozens of nasty diseases that he doesn’t have.
      but no word on what it might be.
      “man baffles medical science”.

    • #194392
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best wishes to all sufferers from various ills.

      Post surgery fashion sounds an interesting but hopefully self limiting trend.
      I’m thinking of Snosie’s fracture here and sympathising. With an arm immobilised for a while a couple of years ago I wore one pair of elastic waist fleece trousers and a selection of stretchy tops or a tshirt nightie when the trousers were in the wash. I also relied on DH to put me into a bra before he left for work each day! It was such a relief to get the arm back and to be able to pull bottoms up again.

    • #194428
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      oh goodness I am away for a few days and so much has happened–all the best wishes for speedy recovery to all!

    • #194518
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ditto on the best wishes,sounds as though maybe they are helping!
      On a much less emergent and more of an emotional update note:
      My Dad called to tell me he’s putting his (and my moms) condo on the market
      and moving in with his ladyfriend whom he’s known for all of 6 months! My first reaction
      was to say, please wait a few months, moms only been gone 10 months and you shouldn’t make such a monumental decision
      just yet. He then proceeded to say he was going to hire an estate planner to set up an estate sale to sell everything!
      I could barely speak after that, but no way is he selling my Mother’s Mothers furniture that she promised to my sibs and me.
      Oh vey, people. Never a dull freaking moment around here!

    • #194519

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Irish — this has all the earmarks of a disaster on many levels.

      Although it might be hard, my recommendation would be to accept his decision — foolish as it might turn out to be — and give him your blessing. Then make sure you and the sibs get things that were handed down through your mother. And make sure he gets good financial advice so that he doesn’t end up on the street if things don’t work out. He’ll be more likely to listen to you on these issues, I suspect, if your not openly hostile about the core relationship.

    • #194520
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, the upside is that the condo may not sell for a good long while, which may protect your dad from total diaster if he does not enjoy the other living arrangements.

      Men seem to be very much cast adrift when they lose their spouses compared to women. I hope your dad finds true happiness.

      My MIL uprooted herself several times in the year after she lost her husband, and continues to do so. I guess at age 75 it is possible to reinvent yourself, or to grab some kind of idea and attempt to prove that is has value when all about you are rolling their eyes.

    • #194527
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      irishbell, i can totally see why your father’s announcement would rattle your family.
      however, i think i would be inclined to zip the lip, even though i would be aching to say something*
      really, all you can do is nod and smile and accept…it is his life after all, and he gets to make these kinds of decisions.
      there is nothing wrong with organising the furniture that was promised to you, however!
      and i agree with susanintexas.

      *i am really trying lately to just accept things that are none of my business, to not judge what other people are doing, to let go of a lot of expectations and prejudices and general crap. this is all part of my big simplifying plan. when i simply focus on what i am doing, life is much sweeter.

    • #194531
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Gosh, there’s been so much going on in everyone’s lives (life?) I’m overwhelmed reading this thread! Hope all who are ill feel better soon.

      I’m in the middle of selling our house and feeling it a little. My husband says it IS NOT stressful, stress is for the weak. I beg to differ. As we’ve decluttered like mad, the maintenance for open for inspections is fine, it’s the mental stress that’s doing me in. We thought we were moving to Qld, but decided (OK, I decided) we just couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right. Now we are in limbo till we sell (hoepfully on 15 Oct). it’s really getting to me!!

    • #194532
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell: what bandicoot said πŸ™‚ You’ve lost a mother, you don’t want to lose a father too, however much of an idiot he’s being…You may think it’s much too short a time, he may think that life is too short not to go for what he wants.
      Lazycow: moving house is REALLY stressful, your dh is talking crap. And stress is not a weakness, it is a normal physiological and psychological reaction to an event or circumstances which you find difficult. If your plans have changed and you don’t even know which state you’re headed for, that’s even more stressful. You sound like you’re having a bit of a midlife crisis there, working out who you are and what you want πŸ™‚ It will all be ok!
      Healing vibes to all those who are ill or injured.

    • #194544
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irish, that would make me nervous if it were my dad. I’m always suspicious of the motives of others. I’m very suspicious of one man in my parent’s building. Long story I won’t go into here.

      However, maybe your dad wants to liquidate so he can enjoy what time he has left? Home ownership is expensive and can be a financial burden. He is probably lonely as well. My parents live in a retirement apartment building. It is common for men and women to hook up, so to speak. Not only to share expenses, but for companionship, which from what I understand, is their great motivation.

      I don’t know how old your dad is, so there probably isn’t much you can do to intervene, but having a sit-down with him could help ease your mind.

    • #194548
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lazycow- you have every right to feel stressed, listen to your body and take care of you during this time so you don’t get sick.

      While “my” little worry barely qualifies as such, I knew I could count on you all for good sound reasoning, so I thank you.

      Like lottie, susan, deb have suggested -I do still want a relationship with my Dad, so like bandicoot says-I’ve nodded, smiled and accepted these past few months, but that doesn’t mean I’ve liked it. In fact, it’s been downright painful.
      My dad has a past history of some poor financial decisions, this is my main concern- that he doesn’t end up alone with nothing to his name. (obviously he’d still have us)
      I don’t know anything about his GF’s financial situation and what financial role he would take in her life or with her house, he was very vague about that. If I see him headed for trouble, I will tell him so, and then he will do as he damn well pleases- this I know. It doesn’t stop me worrying though.

      My other concern is his strange personality change since the new GF. He is no longer my Dad, and I’m having a hard time getting to know him. He acts and reacts differently, conversation with him is strained, he’s made some impulsive decisions, and has become quite the drinker (alcohol). Every time I see him he is drinking. Granted- this is usually in the evening, but he is an insulin dependent diabetic, with many other health concerns,so this could have a devastating effect. The physical behavior they “display” is awkward to say the least, I could care less that they have a sexual relationship-in fact I’m glad of it, and I’m by no means a prim and proper tea-totaler, but… to “get drunk” and then get all huggy, kissy and grabby in front of all our families who are still grieving for our Mom and Grandma, is just plain insensitive. That’s just not my Dad. Do I even make any sense, that I don’t know my Dad anymore?
      JJ- we will have a sit down when the ball starts rolling with the actual listing. He’s got a reverse mortgage on the condo, he thinks if he sells it he will get more $ out of it than if he just continues to use his line of credit. He may very well be right about that. I wasn’t worried about her influence until this last decision of his. My Dad is the 3rd man she will have had living with her in the last 10 years. They are both 78.

      I will continue to accept, voice my thoughts and concerns, and love him.
      Hopefully your wise words will float into my brain when I begin worrying. Therapy session over πŸ™‚

    • #194571
      whit
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Wow, irishbelle, it sounds like he’s really having a hard time and not dealing at all well. How sad that it’s making more pain for the rest of you, too. One thing I would add to the general good sense that people have said is to make any good decisions easy for him. For instance, if he’s decided to sell but doesn’t have a realtor yet, find one you trust and give him the name and number. Then when he wants to move ahead, the path of least resistance runs to good advice. Make it super easy for him to give you and your sibs the furniture that he doesn’t want, and sell yourselves as better than the estate planner. But I think you’re handling the situation very well!

      I’m going to a perinatal loss support group tonight, very nervous about it. DH is coming if he can get out of work early enough. But therapy has been really useful, and my therapist thought the support group sounded like a good idea. I’m also anxious about a roadtrip we’re taking this weekend. Going to a wedding, and visiting some of each of our relatives. Of course one of them has a brand newborn, can’t escape them it seems. I am working hard to have a good optimistic attitude of thought toward this trip, opening myself to the good in the world, etc, when part of me just wants to stay at home for the rest of my life until I get to be with my baby again. In any case I will spend tomorrow preparing for the trip as it is guaranteed not to be pleasant if I leave it all until the last minute.

    • #194593
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      irishbell, it all sounds dreadful, and very difficult for you and your family.
      i am sorry you have to go through it.
      it seems as though your mother’s passing has derailed your dad quite a bit.
      while i am all for not interfering in other people’s financial business, this situation is different…in that if he winds up bankrupt, he will be on your hands.
      therefore, you get to have a say.

    • #194650
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, you are so kind and gracious to even reply to my (slightly) hysterical post (as are you lottielot!) when you have so much going on in your life. I wish you all the best with your father. I can only imagine how upsetting it all is. When my father died last year, my mother (who has Alzheimer’s) simply forgot him. Which is such a blessing for her, as she doesn’t have to grieve him (weird for me though, but I can live with that!)

    • #194652
      whit
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      good wishes to you, lazycow. Maybe you can think of it as at least you decided not to move to Qld (Australia?) before you moved there and not after…I’m sorry to hear about your parents, that sounds like a second bit of limbo.

      Having a v bad day. Most of my friends are a) my husband’s friends and b) younger than me, which is not much help when having very Grown Up problems. Husband was chuffed when his best friend remembered to call him and ask how he was doing since his daughter died instead of just crying about his roommate problems and ex-girlfriend – pretty sad if you ask me.

    • #194655
      lazycow
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh Whit, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

      Thanks for your good wishes too. I am VERY happy with the decision we have made (should find out very soon if it will all go ahead.

    • #194669
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Whit, you are also in my thoughts. I think sometimes people are at a loss for what to say, so instead of risking saying the wrong thing-they say nothing. And really, unless they’ve had the same experience as you, they don’t understand the depth of your grief. But, perhaps it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking of you. Hopefully your therapy group will give you the support you need. Not having any friends your own age must be tough, but all of us here-we are ageless!
      There’s always someone around here who’s good for a hug! xxxooo

    • #194671
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Whit, I am so sorry!

      Blessings to all my friends on the forum who are suffering!

    • #194683
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      thinking of you, whit.
      hang in there.

    • #194722
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Whit,
      Hugs for you. I do hope the support group gives you a link to other women who understand what you are feeling like now.

    • #194756
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for telling us about your circumstances Whit. Thinking of you especially.

      Hope all continues to improve for the ill, injured, stressed and sad.

    • #194763
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      On a good note: We are finally getting some rain here in Texas, after nearly a year of exceptional drought! It is a nice, long soaking rain! Thank Goodness!

    • #194825
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      claycat, that must feel so good!
      don’t you love that scent? petrichor?

    • #194838
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      *starts whistling the “Doctor Who” theme, grins at bandicoot* I was astonished that my son and his partner didn’t know that word — they’ve only lived in the high desert their whole lives!

      Claycat, my sister told me yesterday that it was raining on her; I know exactly how relieved you must be.

      DH is getting ready to go up to the trade show; if anyone could spare a thought that some bit of networking this week will lead to a job, I’d be most grateful.

    • #194843
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good word, I had to look up it’s meaning.

    • #194844
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy1965- fingers and toes crossed!
      But seriously, I do wish the best for a new job offer for your dh.

    • #194845
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, I never knew that there was a word to describe the smell of rain! I distinctly remember it from summers where the weather was hot. As soon as it started raining, all the kids would put on their bathing suits and run outside to soak it up. LOL Whenever I smell it I’m transported back to those summers.

    • #194860

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for the smell of rain word, Bandicoot. Never heard of that — and hasn’t been much needed around south Texas this year. We, too, have hit a rainy spell (including a tornado touch down about 15 miles southwest of here, no one hurt but all the post office trucks were tits over ass at the local station.)

      Trip to Scotland start tomorrow afternoon and I’ve found a downside to decluttering. DH is looking for a bunch of stuff he doesn’t ordinarily use and when he can’t lay his hands on it he suspects i have disposed of it — eek!

    • #194862
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Breathe Susan!

      Today at the grocery store I ran into a friend who is the librarian at the small town about 13 miles up the highway from me. We were catching up and she asked me if I’d be interested in applying for an on-call position at her library. Talked to DH and we agreed it would be a good thing for me, so I’ve just filled out the application (talk about over-qualified, but that’s not the point). We’ll see what happens.

    • #194863
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      susan, have a lovely trip!

    • #194879
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan: have a fab time, steer clear of the deep-fried Mars Bars! Your dh is so much like mine it’s uncanny: instead of thinking how nice it is having an organised, better-looking house, he rants about you having ‘hidden’ or ‘thrown out’ something which is used once in a blue moon. Yeah, because your wetsuit/flippers/Camelbak/insert wildly unused and probably perished item here really belongs in a pile on the dining room floor for all eternity. I’m intrigued as to whether dh would literally live in a pile of rubble given half a chance…

    • #194881
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Enjoy the rain Claycat and Susan. I hope it is gentle, soaking rain to saturate not damage the soil. It is an amazing feeling to get some relief from the drought.

      Best wishes for the trade show Lucy.

      Susan, It sounds like you will have a fantastic time in Scotland. It is such a great place to visit.

    • #194929
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It has been 18 months, but our house is under contract tonight!!! Finally good news!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to breathe, it might blow away!

    • #194931
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      all fingers crossed for you MTNgirl!

    • #194949
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      *crossing fingers for MTNgirl* C’mon, people, buy the house!

    • #195095
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      So sorry about your friend Anita. My condolences.

      Good news about the job Pkilmain.

      Did it sell MTNgirl?

    • #195103
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita, that is so sad about your friend! I’m sorry!

      MTNgirl, good luck on the house deal!

    • #195104
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Pkilmain, that job sounds great! A library is one of my favorite places to be.

    • #195109
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      We are under contract and close November 30!

      I always thought working in a library would be one of my dream jobs! Good luck!

    • #195116
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      MTNgirl – working in a library was my dream job, and the one I spent my last 10working years at (director of our local public library). While I don’t miss all the politics and administrative duties, night meetings, etc. i do miss actually being in a library with the books and people, which this job would give me. The job application period closes today, so I should know soon.

    • #195120
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, libraries are like sacred spaces for me. It seems like they are always included in our vacation plans. In New York City we both aquired library cards at the public library, getting shushed in the big reading room! This summer we went to see the Book of Kells at the Trinity University library in Dublin, and were more excited about the barrel-vaulted great hall room at the end of the tour than of the exhibit itself!

      Best of luck with the job!

    • #195142
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Another Deb, I feel that way about libraries, too. Sacred space is the perfect description.

      It’s funny you mentioned that library in Dublin. I had a dream about a friend’s daughter. In that dream, I could see a hall just like the one you are describing. In a few days, I got a postcard with that exact hall room. She had just visited that library!

    • #195156
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And last night Stephen Fry was on TV waxing lyrical about the frisson that libraries cause in so many of us.

    • #195161
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita,
      That’s dreadful, the careless opening of car doors causes a lot of accidents. So sad this one was fatal and it’s definitely something the driver should be prosecuted for..
      As a cyclist you need to ride far enough out to avoid them and that annoys other motorists, personal experience here, I had it done to me and luckily only have a small scar and a habit of giving stationary cars a wide berth.

    • #195162
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My DH had a minor car accident yesterday – swerved to avoid a speeding ambulance and a car that was in his blind spot caught one of his rear wings. Low speed thank goodness, and nobody was hurt. The kids were in the car but didn’t even realise what was happening. His first accident in 18 years of driving, which is pretty good I think.

    • #195164
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita: that is horrible, that poor cyclist πŸ™
      Charity: the last accident dh had he reversed our van into a skip. Very hard. I will never let him live it down πŸ™‚

    • #195182
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i am usually the one who reverse into things around here.
      fortunately i was not at the wheel when our car sustained a smashed rear window and somewhat buckled hatch last week…..dh reversed out of a carpark into a huge truck that had JUST pulled up to double park and let someone out.
      oy vey.
      he has removed the shattered glass and taped it all up with plastic and tape.

      i haven’t yet stopped laughing…..

      anita, that is a dreadful and tragic accident. i feel for that poor woman’s family and friends. πŸ™
      it’s the sort of thing that could happen to any of us at any time.

    • #195194
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, Anita, how awful! I’m so sorry.

    • #195195
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Youngest Cat spent the weekend at the emergency vet’s for an abscess; yours truly had a meltdown and sobbed hysterically in the exam room, and they very kindly agreed to board him for two days so that I could get some sleep. He’s curled up beside me on the bed, asleep on the heating pad with his favorite toy mouse beside him.

      Thanks to the trade show, DH has short-term contract work that will get us through the next two months (he’s having lunch with the client today), nailed a technical interview and is expecting salary discussions this week with a contracting firm — that one may go permanent. We’re actually going out to eat tonight to celebrate!

      The next trade show isn’t until February of 2013; one way or the other, we won’t be here for that, so I’ve been gleefully getting rid of the party gear.

    • #195197
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I have so many cats, and I want you to know I haven’t lost any cats to abscesses. Your baby will be fine! πŸ™‚

      I am so hoping that this opportunity will become a permanent job for your husband! Good luck!

    • #195206
      Charity
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Absolutely, my oldest one had a nasty abcess once and it healed up with no trouble. And one of my younger ones had 2 weeks boarding last year after a dog/fox encounter tore half the skin off a leg, and now we can’t even see the scar. Cats are very resiliant.

    • #195259
      JuliaJayne
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It’s good not to push yourself. You need to heal, Laetitia πŸ™‚

    • #195264
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Oh goch, Laetitia! What a scary thing! I am glad your sis is ok!

    • #195266
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      laetitia, how frightening for your sister!

      we are having a dramatic year here.
      last night i received a reply to an email i sent to a mentor/friend/biz associate in korea…..he was ill last year and i was corresponding with his wife…..i was extremely busy in february and march, then in april i broke my leg and became somewhat self-absorbed.
      yesterday i thought to myself, omg, it’s been ages since i’ve heard from these two, so i emailed.
      and his wife emailed back, and told me he died in february. and she assumed that a mutual colleague had spoken to me about it.
      i am in deep shock and very sad….he was in fanatically good health in may last year when i was there, apart from stress and smoking. and only 46. πŸ™

      last night i got up several times to check on bolli (young cat)….he seemed subdued. i couldn’t sleep and i thought i was just creating a drama. you know how it is.
      but this morning he was very reluctant to get out of his bed at all, so we rolled down to the vet.
      he is being treated for paralysis tick.

      we continued on to the pool in the next town and had a swim.
      driving home, i suddenly felt a sense of dread, so we pulled into the vet to check on bolli.
      he was fine, sedated, responding ok to the serum.
      we got home and one of our other cats is covered in red mud, scratched and a big gouge out of his chin.
      and absolutely scared, wet, shaking.
      we think he wandered out and met a dog.
      so we’ve wiped him down, given him water, and settled him to sleep and now we are watching him too.
      he seems ok, if quite rattled, but if anything changes, off we go again.

    • #195270
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      oh bandicoot, i’m sorry you and yours are having such an awful time, it almost makes you want to pull the shades, get in bed and sleep for many days.
      but i guess you can’t realistically do that, which is a good thing.
      as they say- if you are going through a bad time, just keep going, that’s the best you can do, just keep going and eventually things will lighten.
      i know it’s easier said than done. πŸ™‚

      laetitia, how scary -but lucky- is that for your sister? she must have had some good karkma piled up!

    • #195274
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, sweetheart, I’m sorry for your sister — but she’s got her partner to look after her, and she can go back to hospital if something like post-concussion syndrome manifests. You need to concentrate on healing: we’re all happy that you’re feeling so much better, but you’ve only been out of hospital yourself a little while. If she needs you, then by all means you should make arrangements to go up.

      bandicoot, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. Re: the cats, do you sometimes wonder why we adopted the furry little lumps? I’m (mostly) kidding; they’re a source of joy and stress all at once, and I hope yours are soon well and cavorting through the house.

    • #195422
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      lucy,
      How is your furball doing?
      My cat, the one who is 20years old and had an abcess, is doing fine again. They put her on antibiotics after the abcess was drained and she was a wretched mess, wobbling around from the sedation for 2 days, the meds gave her diarrhea, her face was half-shaved. She was on anti-diarrhea goop, so I had to dose her, clean her hind end constantly, the carpet, etc until the surgery to remove the root of the tooth (3 weeks later). The doc was great. He treats the zoo animals and was so good with her. Now I am a lot lighter in the wallet but my heart is also light.

    • #195435
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Feeling of bottomless dread again, because Auntie has had another stroke, so far it seems to be mild with mainly speech affected and a little arm and leg weakness. But it’s still a setback in her rehab from the last one that really limited her mobility.
      Trouble is I’m her next of kin, live a long way away and feel that every time I’m beging to get my life running remotely smoothly a new crisis arises.

    • #195440
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry to hear it Netleigh πŸ™

    • #195450
      STLMom
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, I don’t know the details of your sister’s accident, but if it makes you feel any better my entire family was in a rollover accident two years ago and no one suffered any immediate or long-term damage — except the car. Our van did a complete 360-degree roll into a ditch, off an icy road. Even the dog was uninjured, and she was sitting next to a window that popped out and broke, and she was the only one not wearing a seat belt. I think the centrifugal force of the roll kept everyone in place, so we had less injury than if the car had smashed into something.
      The only issues we had were minor psychological problems. My daughter became scared of heights for about a year following the accident, but gradually lost that fear. For a long time I would “flash back” if I was driving on a wet or icy road on a curve, and would get very anxious for a minute or two, but that seems to be mostly over now as well.
      Just to be clear, I don’t want to dismiss the seriousness of your sister’s accident or your concern for her! I just want you to know that even a terrifying accident that completely smashes a car doesn’t necessarily mean the driver is going to develop an injury.

    • #195453
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh, I’m sorry. I wish you calm and strength to get through it, and all the support you need.

      AnotherDeb, Youngest Cat is well; it’s been 10 days and he’s healed up beautifully, so today the Cone of Shame went into the drawer where we keep the cat stuff (clippers, brushes, etc.) and he’s gleefully charging up and down the back stairs.

      Yesterday I admitted to myself that DS has, for all practical purposes, moved out: his things are slowly migrating to his partner’s (as her brother moved out, there’s plenty of space) and we see him about once a week. I cried a bit, I’ll admit it. He’s probably going to Hawai’i with her and her family for US Thanksgiving in November.

      And today our friend the landscape guy is coming by to drain and shut down the sprinklers; I have no idea if we’ll be here next year when it’s switched on in the summer.

    • #195485
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh, Thinking of you and Auntie. My mother was the only person on her side of the family able to be the next of kin for her mother and two aunts. For about 15 years she was in that cycle of bottomless pit. My heart goes out to you, sweetie.

    • #195487
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      netleigh, my thoughts are with you and your aunt.
      as we say in nz “the tyranny of distance”.

    • #195505
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks for all the supportive comments. It really helps just to be able to have a public moan.
      It would be easier for me to have her nearer but as she’s still living where her friends live and still sees them socially it’s better for her to be where she is. Moving her closer would be difficult as it’s a rented housing association sheltered complex not her own owned flat, they are as rare as hen’s teeth, I’d only do that if she’s so out of it that she needs nursing care.
      Things haven’t developed too badly with the latest stroke, though Auntie fell last night and pressed her alarm pendant, they called an ambulance and I got three middle of the night phone calls, the paramedics decided she’d just lost her balance with the zimmer frame no worsening of the stroke symptoms, made her a cup of tea and returned her to bed. Dr checked her out again today and she’s still at home but her carers are coming in twice a day just for reassurance. I’m thankful that the support systems are working out OK at the moment.

      Laetitia, it’s good to hear of someone benefiting from income protection insurance. Heal well now your money concerns are sorted.

    • #195590
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh, hang in there! You are so good to be there for her!

    • #195592
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      A bit stiff and sore but healing fast after my unscheduled *trip* *aaaugh!* *thud* off the back steps on Sunday afternoon. I thought at first I had sprained my ankle, but it seems to be just bruises. Hardly any trouble walking on it, aside from a bit of stiffness in the shin.

    • #195620
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ~may i please have some cheese with my whine~
      dad went with the realtor that sold GF her house 15 years ago(despite a referral from my brother and one from me).
      listed the condo,online with pics by the time he told us.
      I went to the condo to borrow a couple folding chairs. (he was not there) practically all signs of my Mom are gone- none of her knickknacks, wooden birds, beautiful pics in frames- all put away.
      the buffet that had all the pics of all the grand/great grandkids- cleared off- no pics of grandkids anywhere. (he’s put all that stuff in boxes downstairs evidently)
      and he has obviously not been living there for some time, no meds, toothbrush anything like that.barely any food.
      and evidently he’s not worried about not having enough money to survive on as he bought the GF a diamond ring. Mom never had diamond in her life.
      they’re coming for my b-day dinner saturday night, and i’m not feeling at all friendly towards this woman, and upset with my dad.
      I won’t let it ruin the party though- my girls are all making me dinner.
      i do wish i hadn’t invited them.
      she has taken advantage of someone in a bad state of mind and he has let her do it. i am, however, not letting it take over my life, as it seemed to for awhile.
      things change, sometimes shit happens, things could be so much worse.

    • #195625

      How is everybody going?

      Irish: that is really, really sad. However, it could be that the real estate agent recommended stripping the house of personal items — that seems to be the standard procedure on HGTV. And if he is already living with this woman perhaps the photos of the grandkids are over there already. Just noting that there can be more than one explanation and it sometimes helps me to allow for the more positive one.

    • #195626
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, when we listed our house on the market, we had to take down all personal pictures and excessive knick-knacks. The idea is that they buyers can then “picture themselves” there.

      That being said, my step-grandpa was “taken to the cleaners” by a much younger “Girl Friend/Fiance.” Tread carefully until you know what is going on; keep your relationship intact.

    • #195627
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i adore you people!

      laetitia-a bit of jealousy, but more anger in that he’s said he’s worried about not having enough money to live on. however,in the last 3 months- took GF on a super duper 2 week vacation (stayed at the same place we as a family stayed 40 years ago-and then took her to where he and my Mom went on their honeymoon), bought a new car, and now the diamond(that he said will take years to pay off). it makes me think he’s not so worried about the money issue after all. i think that was his excuse to us why he’s selling the condo.
      I believe she loves him, but her conversations/actions have sometimes been less than sensitive.
      thanks for your concern- you’ve got your hands full getting well!

      SIT thanks, i prefer the positive as well, here i think it’s a bit of both. he’s slowly been getting rid of stuff, said it’s too cluttered for him. it was a huge shock to see nothing of her or our family there. i asked where all the photos and all her goodies were- he said in a box in the basement.(i only saw one box of things- i think he has just thrown out lots)
      you are right- decluttering will help with selling, she had LOADS of stuff.
      I know he desperately wants to not think about my Mom anymore, which i can understand, but if I’m being honest,it really hurts me to see him want no Family reminders around him. Guess I’ll always be a kid.
      Thanks πŸ™‚

    • #195628
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      MTNgrl- you are so right. it takes but a few words to wreck something.
      *so far* i have been careful.

    • #195966
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita- good thoughts your way.

    • #195997
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita ~ Holding positive thoughts for you. I think/hope it might not be too dire or else they’d have asked you to come in right away. Please keep us posted.

    • #195998
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      best wishes to you anita.
      my husband waited a month, with lots of blood tests, to find out what had made him so ill.
      his symptoms had long abated by the time his q fever antibodies appeared and they could state that q fever was what he had.
      it was a great relief to have a name for it.
      two years with symptoms and testing and no answers….i’d be on my last nerve, i reckon.

    • #196029
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita: just because something isn’t ‘biological’ doesn’t mean your physical symptoms aren’t real. You can’t separate your brain from your body, they are one and the same. And if therapy helps ease your symptoms, that would be fantastic πŸ™‚ Don’t think of it as your mind letting you down or misleading you, your mind is integral to your body and something ’caused’ by your mind is just as legitimate a candidate for treatment as something physical in origin. In fact, it could even be a good thing: therapy is less invasive and has less side effects than drugs.

    • #196044
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita, I’m relieved to hear there’s no physical danger, and even though that still leaves you up in the air with an unidentified problem, I think your attitude is good. The mind-body connection isn’t a chicken-or-egg-first thing; they are inextricably intertwined. And further… our environment, our home, is an extension of our body and self. So keeping up with decluttering, along with good self-care and with healthy habits… it all contributes to sustaining your well-being while you take the time necessary to find the right therapist.

      I’m in therapy limbo myself now, having ended sessions with a guy who just wasn’t the right fit for me. My gut instinct told me he was wrong from the get-go, but my mind was saying: “You need therapy now. Just do it!” I should have trusted my gut and held out longer for someone who “felt” right. Until I find a new therapist, I’m being extra attentive to gentle self-care of the patient. πŸ™‚

    • #196192
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      had a hellacious past week, starting with taking an afternoon to go through a few of Moms things with sis/bro, depressing, but not devastating as i feared. i finally seem to be coping better.
      came home from that activity to dd#1 calling me saying her little guy was sick with croup and needed to go to urgent care. she was a mess, her dh had just left out of country, so off we went to urgent care, one son had a breathing treatment and oral steroids. poor mom and son, she was frantic, he was miserable, i remember those nights. second son went to dr. next day for oral steroids as he was starting the cough as well.
      next day- news from a dear high school friend that her Mom had passed after a brutally long struggle with cancer.
      same day an old friend we caught up with at a wedding last month after not seeing for 20 years, his 21 year old son had just died.
      same day got an email from sis in law that her partner has lymphoma. terrible.
      2 days later dd#5 was complaining of pain where her spleen is. took her to the dr. that same day, he says yes spleen is enlarged and sends her immediately for ultrasound and bloodwork, and made an apptmt for ct scan the following morning. of course, stupid me, googled enlarged spleen and all kinds of awful stuff i won’t even say aloud comes up. DO NOT GOOGLE!!!
      so dh and i are frantic for 36 hours imagining the worst, but trying not allow ourselves to believe it.by the end of the day i’m thinking it’s ok, as doc would have called if the bloodwork had been off. dr. calls next morning, saying a few incidental things, (slight anemia, low antibodies having to do with allergies) but nothing serious!!! but- wanted to consult with pediatric hematologist in case there was a condition regarding blood cells he missed.
      new dr. says don’t worry, things are normal, sometimes people just have “splenamegaly” enlarged spleen. we are to call in one month for apptmt and another scan, and just keep an eye on it.
      it is so easy for me to forget how lucky my family is, and i hate for these kinds of things to happen to remind me of it.
      a new #1 on my to do list- always be grateful and thankful for healthy happy children and grandchildren.
      we as parents are only as happy as our unhappiest child. this is so the truth.
      my best to all dealing with health struggles of any kind.

    • #196201
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita: I’m sure any decent therapist would let you test drive them first. Could you talk to a few on the phone first perhaps? Who cares what they look like, all that matters is whether you feel comfortable with him or her.

    • #196287
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita & Irishbell, sending you both my love!

    • #196521
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      another shi*** week.
      too much, too long, to tell it all, but suffice it to say, *someone* is trying to tell me something.
      from dd#5’s “spleen scare”last week,then this week a good friend of hers having a head trauma/brain bleed due to skateboard mishap, and dd#4 and her jeep vs a deer on 70 mph x-way (she is fine, car is totaled).when i think of what could have happened it makes me sick.
      i’ve never been a “traditional organized religion” kind of person- i’m a spiritual in my own head and heart person.
      so i’ve been thinking, have i been taking my life for granted? have i fooled myself into thinking I’ve truly been grateful enough for everything?
      bonus: i managed to overdraw the checking account while being sick in bed and unplugged for 4 days. never a dull moment. πŸ™‚

    • #196538
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia, thank you for your thoughts.
      Whatever this is, it has got my attention,
      and what i’m realizing my mindfulness and thankfulness needs to be rethought and upped.
      I trust you are continuing to heal and get stronger with each day!
      P.s.i stopped at the bank this morning and got the overdraft fees refunded!

    • #196558
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      DS came home from work early, so the three of us sat down and had the “When are you and DSP moving, and where is your stuff going?” talk. It was strikingly angst-free: he has made arrangements to store what he isn’t taking at his bio-father’s, and depending on her internship start date, they will be heading out next August and sharing an apartment with three friends.

      DH heard today that the beta release has been rolled back by several weeks, which made us both cheer: every extra day is more cash for us! Still nothing permanent, but a little of the pressure is off, and as of tomorrow we’ll have enough cash on hand to see us through December without tapping the emergency fund.

      (The wonderful apartments in Portland, however, are trying to make me cry: free rent on new rentals of 2-bedroom apartments now through 1 January, reduced prices on vacant apartments, and the exact one I want — two bedrooms, two bathrooms, on the sixth floor looking over the roof garden and out to the river, in the color scheme that works with all my existing furniture and lamps — is available now. I could blub, I swear.)

    • #196611
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Anita, The testing can only reveal what they may have been testing for. So if a test comes back normal, you are one step closer to finding out what it IS, after ruling out what it ISN’T, right? I hope your doctor has good diagnostic skills.

      Keeping a diary of the meds and your symptoms is very helpful. I went through test after test several years ago, including a barium lower GI series, only to self-diagnose lactose intolerence! The same thing with aspertame allergies. When aspertame sweetener first came out I didn’t realize it was giving me migraines. I was given a bite guard for bruxism, eyeglass changes, pain pills, and almost changed jobs before finding out in a little magazine blurb about the possible allergy. It pays to pay attention!

    • #196634
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Another Deb is right. Rarely will two doctors agree, so it’s not unusual that a second opinion will vary from the first. Anita, your best defense is to be as well-informed and proactive a patient as possible. Read up about your symptoms on either webmd.com or mayoclinic.com, and take your findings and your questions in hard-copy to your next appointment.

    • #196637
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I have to warn about going to medical sites with your symptoms.
      Obviously, do at your own risk to your mental health!!! Been there, done that.
      The info often takes you in a total different direction, often giving you multiple
      ideas and extremely worrying diagnosis.

    • #196638
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      irishbell: You may have misunderstood me, so please forgive me if my post was unclear. I’m NOT recommending that anyone self-diagnose their own condition. But I do believe that it’s very important to be well-informed about your symptoms when you walk into your next doctor’s appointment. It’s enormously helpful to take in hard-copy information and questions to make the best use of your doctor’s time, so he/she can see exactly what your concerns and findings are, and from what source, hopefully a creditable one.

    • #196649
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ella: I agree totally with you about being well informed and proactive and bringing questions with you for the doctor,
      In which case these sites definitely can help you work up a list.
      My warning is simply for those folks like me, who tend to get a little carried away with *whatever else*
      my symptom could be related to. And then I can’t stop reading…. My own fault!

    • #196651
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My grandmother has had a heart attack and is in hospital for at least the next few days. She is 84 and has had a very poor quality of life for the last year; the physician is recommending a very aggressive approach with no hints as to whether there would be an equally dramatic improvement in her day-to-day existence.

      I’m not close to this grandparent — there is a back history of abuse that involved the police — but I don’t wish her ill. I’m more worried about the effect on my mother.

    • #196652
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Is the dr. suggesting stent placement or other surgery?
      Having a parent go through this in the last year, I would surely want
      a more positive prognosis than your grandmothers dr. is willing to give.
      It sounds like Your role in this situation sounds like being supportive
      of your mom and what she thinks is the best course. Good luck πŸ™‚

    • #196656
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lucy, that sounds like a difficult situation all round.
      you are in my thoughts.

      we have just decluttered our helper/houseguest and i spent the morning reclaiming my kitchen and muttering ungratefully under my breath about how everything has been moved and stuff that i don’t want has been introduced.

      i ordered some shoes from germany before my no-spend month began and they arrived a couple of days ago.
      they are birkenstock madrids and they are really forcing my broken leg to work harder.
      i am delighted with them!

    • #196669
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot, i had to smile about you wearing german birkenstocks, whereas i wear australian blundstones. πŸ™‚

    • #196672
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      mimi, NO! that is hilarious! πŸ™‚

    • #196673

      How is everybody going?

      Good news, bad news.

      A good friend’s 90 year old mother died unexpectedly yesterday — she taught me how to make tamales. I will miss her. However, I was able to offer our spare bedroom for out of town guest, if needed, and rides to and from the airport — both offers possible because both are now clean and decluttered. This process has allowed me to listen to the better angels of my nature.

      We have someone interested in buying my MIL’s car. She hasn’t driven in about two years, and I finally convinced her to sell it about six months ago. Following the usual pattern, DH assumed control and has done nothing since. His sister found a potential buyer — we need the money to get her a new roof and some other home repair and maintenance. Send good car-ma.

    • #196674
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan, I like the car-ma comment! I’m definitely sending you good car-ma! πŸ™‚

      It’s so nice you were able to offer your spare bedroom, because it’s decluttered! Yay! Plus, it was nice of you!

      I’m sorry about your friend’s mother. I had a good friend whose abuelita was going to teach me to make sweet tamales, but she died before it happened. You are very lucky! πŸ™‚

    • #196675
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I’m sorry about your grandmother!

      Irishbell, you have had such a hard time!

      Saying prayers for my unclutterer friends!

    • #196724
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Interesting year so far. Grandma died and notoriously left supplies for third world war behind. Had to quit studies and am now utterly unemployed with no prospects of finding anything within my line of work within a few years, that is how bad the global economy has hit that industry. And finally had enough, moved out and left my husband last weekend; we will see whether there is still something to be saved. I have to work hard to stay optimistic, because if there is one thing I can’t stand in myself is when I turn the complaining gear on.

    • #196725
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Goodness, ninakk, complain all you want (for awhile)
      We will be here for all the support you need.
      You’ll get on with things when you are ready, maybe sooner than you think!
      So sorry for your troubles. xxoo

    • #196726
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, irishbell, you have had a rough one yourself. More than anything else I am sleeping a lot this week and have already read five chick lit novels with happy endings. One day at a time is all any of us can manage really πŸ™‚

    • #196742
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      nina, darling, I’m so sorry. *offers hugs*

    • #196814
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I haven’t been around much over the last month. My beautiful mother was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer and she is in the last days of her life. We had a “Christmas” lunch with the family today and although she was too weak to join in, she enjoyed seeing her grandchildren for the last time. She is facing her death in a calm and dignified manner and the medication is keeping the pain in check. I have come to understand that you are never old enough to lose your mum.

    • #196815
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      jack, i am so sorry.
      your mum sounds like a lovely person.
      i cannot imagine how difficult this is for you.
      i wish for peace and calm and strength for you, and for your mother.
      you are in my thoughts.

      i left a message here for nina, but the forum must have eaten it.
      nina, i am sad to hear that things are difficult right now.
      please be kind to yourself…it seems as though you’ve had to face a lot of change and stress and disappointment lately.
      remember….looking after yourself is looking after the world.

    • #196816
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      jack- such a bad time for you and yours and i am so very sorry for it.
      a word from one who has lost her Mom not quite a year ago – spend as much time with your Mom as possible, (every thing else will wait) you will never regret this. share good memories, your plans for your future,try to leave nothing unsaid. if she is unable to talk, you can still talk to her.
      I don’t think anyone is prepared for the emotions you’ll have, but just know that WHATEVER you feel is OK, and for however long you feel it is OK.
      take one day at a time.

    • #196843
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Warm thoughts to everyone who needs them, hugs too. I am sorry to read that so many are struggling and wish all the best to you and your people. What gets me through my days is the knowledge of not being alone.

    • #196864
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I echo nina with the warm thoughts and hugs, to everyone who needs them, including you nina, and esp to you Jack.

    • #196869

      How is everybody going?

      Hugs to Jack, and Nina, I know how hard leaving can be. One day at a time!

    • #196890
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

    • #196946
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Well, the previous week was rather surprising. It took my decision to divorce husband as well as temporarily move out for husband to wake up. He has promised change and so I feel a bit hopeful for once. We had some discussions over the course of last week that were better than in two years entirely. Go figure.

    • #196950
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Nina, I hope that is the beginning of real change for your relationship!

    • #196959
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      nina, remember to value and be kind to yourself as well as your husband, and whatever your decision, you have my support.

      Jack, I’m so very sorry. I wish your mother a gentle passing, and strength and grace to you and your family.

    • #196961
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And an update for the lovely people here:

      My grandmother checked herself out of the hospital and went home Saturday, saying that at some point it was going to be something and she would prefer to die in her own bed, being snuggled by her cat and with her friends nearby. My family is in an uproar, but as she’s always lived her life precisely how she pleased I don’t see this particular choice as out of character, and have no difficulty in respecting it.

      To add to the medical hijinks, my husband’s cousin is in the cardiac ICU 40 miles away; we had thought that he and his family had moved out of state, but learned otherwise this weekend when DH’s mother called and asked us to check on him. He has a torn aorta, has been there since the 11th (!) and will likely be there a while yet.

    • #196978
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I don’t blame your grandma either, and it’s wonderful you support her
      In that. Maybe the family will come round to understand also.
      During my Mom’s final hours, what she wanted was to be home,
      but was too ill by then to survive even the ride home.
      Good thoughts also dh’s cousin.

    • #196983
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lucy, your grandmother sounds wonderful….sane, sensible and knows exactly what she wants in her life.
      my good thoughts to her.

    • #197737
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My beautiful mother died this afternoon. She was peaceful and without pain with her partner and her dog beside her. My husband and I spent time with her today and she died suddenly an hour after we left. I am in awe of the palliative care nurses who came to visit her house daily. They always seem to have the right words to say and I am filled with gratitude for their work. When you need them, nurses really make a huge difference, so here’s to all those who do this challenging work without nearly enough recognition.

    • #197738
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack,
      So sorry that your mother has gone. I’m sure you’ll treasure the last moments you had with her. It sounds as if she was treated with dignity during her illness.
      It is reassuring to hear that in your family had such wonderful support from the nursing team.

    • #197740
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m so very sorry about your loss, Jack. It is good to hear you received the support you needed from the nurses. I’ve been thinking about you and just today wanted to ask how you are doing. Sending you my warmest thoughts.

    • #197741
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Dear Jack,
      So sorry to hear about your mother. It must have been comforting for her to pass away in her familiar surroundings. My father died just a few weeks ago in October after a sudden illness so I can sympathise with what you are going through right now. Just take each day as it comes, each hour if need be.
      Take care of yourself, sending you a big hug.

    • #197747

      How is everybody going?

      Hugs for Jack, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad to hear it was peaceful (surrounded by loved ones is the best) and it’s wonderful you had good nurses who were so compassionate and helpful.

    • #197750
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      o jack, i am so sorry for your loss.
      my thoughts are with you and your family.

    • #197754

      How is everybody going?

      Jack — so sorry. Thinking of you.
      Clutterbug — thoughts are with you.

    • #197755
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh my, my thoughts to all who’ve lost a loved one. xxoo

    • #197766
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack I was just thinking about you yesterday. So sorry to hear about your mother. I was glad to hear you were able to be with her, and that she was treated with dignity. Big hugs to you.

    • #197784
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @ susanintexas and irishbell
      Thank you for your kind words

    • #197803
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Clutterbug and jack: I lost my Mom a year ago, after a couple years
      of off and on fairly bad medical issues.
      It hardly seems possible a whole year has passed without her.
      Some days I don’t know how I made it through, and others,well- other days
      were okay! I had one daughters wedding to plan and another daughter and her
      family moved back home from Seattle. So, I had some pretty special things to
      keep me busy and happy this past year.
      I cried when I had to, sobbed on the phone with my sis and bro,
      I was moody and wore my cranky pants quite often, saw dd#3 get married,
      babysat my grandsons, and all of a sudden, here it is a year later!
      I still have bad times, but I made it through this year. One day at a time.
      So will you!

    • #197804
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jackthetiger, My deepest sympathy. Mothers are very special.

    • #197809
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Clutterbug, Jack, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Take good care of yourselves through this.

    • #197825
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Clutterbug,
      Sorry to hear of your loss as well.

      Even after 12 years I still have those moments when I want my Mum, You always miss your parents and never forget them but with proper grieving the pain of loss diminishes. For a friend of mine it’s her Dad she misses ‘more’, it all depends on who was your go to parent for comfort.

    • #197828
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      JTT: I wondered where you’d got to. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, but glad she had a ‘good’ death. She sounds like she was a wonderful person.

    • #197829
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oops, hit ‘post’ too early! I’m sorry about your dad, clutterbug x

    • #197853
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      clutterbug, i missed your post first time around.
      my sincere condolences on your loss.

    • #197862
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Cndolences to clutterbug as well. I agree you miss your parents always. DH and I lost all 4 of ours between 2006-2008 and while we still miss them we have moved through the more intensive grief. Now my beloved BIL who died in Maywe are still grieving. We miss him daily.

    • #197874
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sorry for your loss, too, clutterbug. It’s never easy but I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose a parent, sibling or child. My warmest thoughts to you.

    • #197889
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      A big Thank-You to everyone who has sent such kind thoughts, your words have meant a great deal to me.

    • #197931
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you all for your kind comments. I have always loved this community of amazing people. I am still pretty numb and not looking forward to the funeral. It is eight days away because my mother’s friends and our family have to travel from all over the country. It will be good to see my older brother who will have a six hour flight from his home in remote north Western Australia. It has been a hard week because it is also the 16th anniversary of my little brother’s death.

      Clutterbug22, I am so sorry for the loss of your father.

      Lucy1965, I hope your grandmother continues to do it her way if it makes her happy and she can cope.

    • #197958
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack, I’m so very sorry. I hope that drama’s kept to a minimum at the funeral, and that you have enough kind people around you who will understand if you need to cry, or laugh.

      clutterbug, I don’t believe we’ve met before, but you have my condolences, as well as the hope that you have steady folk around you as well.

    • #198058
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack and Clutterbug, I wish you both comfort, peace, and sweet memories in this very difficult time for both of you! Hugs!

      Lucy, I admire your grandmother. I would want to die at home with my loved ones and my kitties!

    • #198282
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Jack, Lucy & Claycat, Thank-you very much for your replies. jack, I hope you are keeping as well as you can be during this sad time.

      Lucy, yes, I haven’t posted much before but I’ve been reading and enjoying the Unclutterer threads for about a year and a half now, especially ATAD, they have been very inspiring. I’ve been trying to get rid ATAD and have been noting them down in my own list but I’ve not achieved anything like what some of the people here have been doing! I must definitely start posting them in the New Year’s ATAD, my New Year’s Resolution!

    • #198421
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I forgot to tell you . . . .

      DH has another contract job starting Monday, at least seven weeks’ worth of work as maternity cover for someone he knows in another department at his former employer. Apart from the first week, he’ll be able to do all of it from home (except on days when he wants to have lunch with friends).

    • #198424

      How is everybody going?

      lucy: wonderful! That must be a load off your mind.

    • #198428
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It will see us through March, and the recruiter is sure there will be plenty of work for him after it wraps up, so yes — we are both enormously relieved. AND I’ve contacted a realtor about listing the house next summer, so we just need DS and DSP to come up with a move date.

    • #198451
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, That’s a nice early ‘Christmas present’ for you, the job offer, plus he’ll be around at Christmas time. Hope the work offers carry on after this job as well.

    • #198463
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Great news, lucy!

    • #198767
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks again for all of your kind thoughts. We had Mum’s funeral on Monday and it was a good celebration of her life. I still don’t believe it all on some levels; it was just too unexpected and quick.

      I am glad to see that things are looking up for you Lucy. It has been a hard year of uncertainty for you and your family.

      I have a bit of catching up to do with all the discussions. I also have to recommit to decluttering because things have just built up over the last two months. We have shared our tiny house with so many family members from interstate and everything is everywhere!

    • #198851
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Dear Jack, glad you made it through ok on Monday and that the funeral went well. It can be very hard to absorb what’s happened, I think it’s only just starting to hit me now with my Dad, a couple of months later. Keep well and strong, sending a big hug!

    • #198865
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      jack, lovely to hear that you gave your mother a good send-off, and celebrated her life.
      i wish you some peace over christmas.

    • #198972
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I’m happy for you and your family. I hope your husband’s work turns into something permanent!

    • #198982
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @Jack I’m relieved to hear that you got through the funeral with the support you needed. I hope that Christmas is a source of comfort, and wish you friends and family who will understand if your emotions are a bit all over the place or tucked away. All my best wishes to you.

      Thanks to everyone who wished DH well; he has been so very happy to be back at his former employer, and friends among the staff have been searching the internal postings to find something for him. I am simply relieved to not be wondering how we’ll pay the mortgage next month.

    • #201549
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      A three week gap of this thread is good.
      I’m convinced that just as I begin to feel I’m getting into a routine something comes along and disrupts it.
      Dear Auntie again, she was taken into hospital feeling unwell yeaterday, they fitted a pacemaker today, found a UTI to clear up and they still have tests to do to see if her perceived worsening of her hemiplegia can be explained as they don’t think she had another stroke. So my best laid plans for getting to the gym tonight have gone out the window, I’m driving 2 hours each way to visit and the hospital are being vague about estimated discharge dates and I have a completely full work and home diary and a ski holiday in a fortnight.
      Trying not to panic about it all.

    • #201553
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Dear Netleigh, I send you strength to stay calm and organised through your trial. Thinking of you and hoping everything will work out in the best way possible.

    • #201976
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks Nina for the support. Auntie is mending well in body even if her mind is a little bit missing some of the time and her mobility is dreadful! I am having the usual rigmarole with the hospital about preventing them from discharging her without a proper care package set up for her at home. I feel as though we go through so much stress where the NHS provides good medical care but the social care of the elderly is just a token committment in legal processes that are not properly followed by individual local social services departments. There are times I could just lie down and cry as I’m trying to make her safe and as independant as I can and the systems don’t join up.

    • #201978
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh- after my mom had her stroke, she spent one week in hospital and 3 weeks in rehab, they pronounced her OK to drive!!!
      SHE WAS NOT!!!!!
      I simply could not believe it! I told her I didn’t think she was well enough to drive and that neither I nor my kids would ride with her.
      She went out driving anyway and got distracted and ran off the road before she got a mile
      away from home. It was a miracle no one was injured.
      Follow up home care is sadly lacking here in the US as well.
      Best to you and yours with this situation.

    • #201990
      MTNgirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, that is terrible. Did the OT at the Rehab unit do a driving test with her or recommend one before discharge?

      Unfortunately, elder care falls onto the families to manage which is difficult as elders are living longer and we are working longer and living farther apart geographically. We also have to be the squeaky wheel! Home Health covered by Medicare, Medicaid, and Private Insurance is restricted to skilled care, any social aspects are usually out of pocket. Most cities have an Aging Services. Look it up and call, they have information on transportation and services for the elderly.

    • #201997
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, that’s a bit like what happened a year and a half ago with Auntie. Dr’s said as she’d had a TIA she could drive again in 6 weeks, ignoring the fact that she kept on having funny turns a bit like petit mal fits. Luckily I and some of the nurses persuaded her that perhaps it was time to give up driving.

    • #202391
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

    • #202392
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I just posted and then edited it away. I am not able to unclutter the problem in my life for security reasons. It seems everyone who lives has to have some problems at some point.

    • #202398

      How is everybody going?

      S’ok gail. No matter what you are going through at the moment – my thoughts are with you. I hope that you can find some peace with your situation for whatever reasons that they have happened.

    • #202554
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Birthday Greetings day today, it’s my birthday today, 48 years, yikes!

      @ behejo, Happy Birthday yesterday, I wished you Happy Birthday yesterday on ATAD but I think you may have missed it, hope you had a good day!

      @ pkilmain and Netleigh?, I think you’ve had birthdays recently, hope you had a good time.

      @ susanin texas, I think you mentioned it was your dh’s birthday today, am I right? If so, Birthday Greetings to your dh!

      And anyone else who’s had/are having a January Birthday soon, Birthday Greetings to you as well!

    • #202570
      Jennifer
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Happy birthday clutterbug!

    • #202583
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Happy Birthday to all of us January babies! πŸ™‚

    • #202597
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Happy birthday to everyone who I haven’t congratulated yet πŸ˜€

    • #202611
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Happy Birthday clutterbug.
      I’ve got 6 months till mine but I may have been wittering about getting something for ds’s birthday recently as his was yesterday.

    • #202685
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks guys for your birthday wishes, had a relaxing week-end with mostly consumable presents – wine, money, toiletries etc which is nice, just need to catch up on the housework now! and ATAD!

      @ Netleigh, hope you are keeping well, the situation regarding your auntie must be very stressful.

    • #202944
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      . . . Former Employer/Current Contract Job says they can’t hire until April.

      And I’m doing our taxes and crying.

      Why do I let myself hope?

      I’m going to get in the shower and scream for a while, see if that helps.

    • #202949
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh lucy, what a let down. So sorry.

    • #202953
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy,
      So frustrating to get your hopes up again and then be let down. I really hope something permanent turns up for him soon.

    • #205631
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I had an email from Lucy today. She wanted me to let you know that she’s busy dealing with real life….

      My best friend’s family is still dealing with the uproar from her MIL’s death (the ashes were scattered Sunday, the estate is a mess and her daughter is going into therapy); the mother of another dear friend had a stroke on Thursday last and died Sunday, so I’ve got to figure out if I can get to England somehow, and yesterday a third friend in her mid 30s walked into her bedroom and found her husband dead.

      I have no idea when I’ll be back, with all of this. If they have any kind thoughts to spare, they’d be welcome.

    • #205646
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, send supportive wishes to Lucy and remind her to keep a small space for restoring herself in all the being there for her good friends.
      More hugs (and hogs) for her.

    • #205647
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      just doing some initial researching on cataract surgery with multifocal intraocular lens transplant, and it looks like i’ll be up for ten thousand dollars or so, out of pocket, if i get this surgery locally.
      so, methinks i shall go to india instead.
      there are marvellous eye places in delhi, and it is a fraction of the cost.
      i’ll bide my time, see the specialist here next month, get a diagnosis and a quote, and then clear my diary around july.

      best wishes to lucy….that is a lot of loss to deal with all at once.

    • #205652
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain–My best to Lucy.

    • #205654
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot,
      That sounds like serious money considering it’s such a short procedure to do cataract surgery! My Mum had cataracts and Corneal grafts done on the NHS (overnight stay required) and the cararact people were in to the ward the morning and out after lunch or arrived at lunch and were out for teatime.

    • #205660
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Pkilmain, please pass on my best wishes to Lucy, that she would be able to sustain herself during this rough time. Many hugs!

    • #205661
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It seems unfair to have so much grief at once, but tell Lucy that she has a host of supporters here.

    • #205662
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

    • #205665
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Best wishes to you and your family liag!

      It won’t be easy i’m sure.
      Will you pop in here once in a while to give us updates if you can?
      I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it must be to have beloved family in such a painful situation, and I wish you all strength and peace.

    • #205666
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Seems we’re all having problems. I hope everyone is better soon.

      I am doing well from my knee surgery and I’m so glad it’s behind me.

      Unfortunately, my MIL was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer this week and is looking at radiation and chemo. She smoked for 45 years. Thankfully, she lives near us and we can help her. Everything she has is a mess. Lost car title, hasn’t filed her taxes in 3 years, lost drivers license, wrong address with the social security office, etc. No will, POA or living will. DH and I are trying to get all this up to date before she starts treatment. I can’t imagine why she hasn’t llet us know before so we could correct all this. It is overwhelming!

    • #205667
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Liag- we are only as happy as our unhappiest child. This is so true, no?
      I wish the best for her,her children and you. It sounds like an unholy mess.
      You will be her best cheerleaders, full of love, strength and support.

    • #205669
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sky, it sounds like quite a rescue mission you have on your hands with MIL.
      This is a good time to put your organizational skills to work!
      Best to you and yours.

    • #205670
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Once again I deleted out of fear and advice of dh.

    • #205678
      Sky
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, Irishbell and thank goodness my paperwork is in order so I can concentrate on hers.

    • #205686
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sending Best Wishes and supportive thoughts to Lucy, Sky and Liag.

    • #205688
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Strength to everyone who needs it, sorry you are having tough times.

    • #205691
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @ ninakk,
      What’s happening with you at the moment? You mentioned packing some boxes on FATAD, are you packing his stuff or yours? How did the appointment with the nurse go on Monday?

    • #205692
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      It is his stuff. He will have to find a flat but currently it is not moving forward due to some matters and I refuse to throw anyone out who does have no place to go; hotel is not an option. We have tried working on a calm dialogue and have succeeded fairly well except for the occasional crying etc. It was the worst weekend of my life and I wish I would wake up from this horrible dream. It is awful really, just awful.

    • #205694
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Dear ninakk, so sorry to hear you so upset. It sounds a bit of a cliche but just try to take it slowly, take each hour as it comes at the moment otherwise it just becomes even more overwhelming. Tell us how you are going today, sending much hugs.

    • #205697
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, I just feel like howling but it won’t do right now.

    • #205698
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Big hug, Ninakk. I’ve been there.
      Just do the next thing, then the next, and the next, one step at a time. Be good to yourself.

    • #205701
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk, I’m sorry to read of your troubles. Like djk says, all you have to do is the next thing. Know we’re thinking of you.

    • #205702
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      hugs and strength to all who need it.
      life is a crazy rollercoaster at times, and all we can do is hang in there.

    • #205709
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh goodness. Hogs to Lucy, to liag (you don’t need to give us details), to Sky and to ninakk. Sky: I watched my FIL die of lung cancer, he put his affairs in order as he was dying but refused to take advice on doing it the best way, his widow would have been better off had he done so. Ninakk: lots of deep breaths, you will survive and your life may end up better than before, but it’s painful to endure.

    • #205710
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      With all the sorrows going on here,
      I should be ashamed to ever complain again.
      xxxooo

    • #205711
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I am just sending soothing thoughts and lots of cyber hugs (and yes, I’m typing carefully on my ipad). I will convey your support to Lucy. Liag, we don’t need details to give you lots of support. Your DD is lucky to have her parents to help her through this rough spot in her life. Ninakk, I too have been there, though I was the one leaving. Cry when you need to, but just keep going one hour at a time. You’ll come out the other side intact and able to build a more stable life for yourself. Sky, so sorry to hear about your MIL. Hopefully you can get everything straightened out without too much trouble.

    • #205716
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      When we have been fortunate, it is easy to be rosy and to believe most people are living the good life. Looking deeper into almost anyone’s life, though, we can see most people are suffering much of the time. I am thinking people hide a great deal, and it seems the human condition is largely difficult. Enjoy those good times and simple pleasures.

    • #205718
      KickRocks
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Today,I put two spares rolls of toilet paper next to the toilet… Just in case

    • #205722
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Welcome to the forum KickRocks. I beleive that was your first post. Are we meant to read into it some very profound meaning that addresses the troubles being aired on this thread?

      Lucy, liag and ninakk, I hope that each minute, hour and day make things become easier for you.

    • #205725
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sending positive cyber thoughts to all. I think liag may be right, that people are often suffering more than we realize. If nothing else, it serves as a reminder to me to be more compassionate with those I encounter today.

      Lucy, liag, and ninakk, I hope even the small steps you take are all in a positive direction.

    • #205726
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, that’s an obvious troll, I plan to simply ignore.

      I’m at a strange place with regards to uncluttering. Other than the regular habits I have, I haven’t found much to declutter lately.. The first point is that there isn’t much to begin with, I know I’m fortunate that my peripatetic life has forcibly curtailed the impulse to collect things, and read books and empty pens don’t rest long around here, but I’m feeling that the place is getting a bit flabby. I’ve had all my shoes in identical, labeled, purpose-bought boxes, which now are mostly empty but are still stacked in my closet, I did another pass-through of my Christmas decor in January, so I have empty or half-empty boxes under the bed, this winter was cold but neither of us has needed our long formal coats at all, and I have several for work/daily life already. They take up a lot of room but I don’t know what to get rid of next. I’ve emptied file boxes and many binders when I quit one of my jobs, and purged a couple of reams of paper that I’d had to save (more than 7 years’ of tax documents etc.)

      So everything is taking up the sane amount of container space but the containers are half to completely empty.

      It’s time to organize and consolidate things again. But I don’t wanna. It requires a fresh brain and a day to create mess before I clean it up, and I am t i r e d and s l e e e e e p y and don’t have long empty days on my calendar.
      Anyone want to come over and drink something lovely and keep me company while I start this PITA organizing?

    • #205733

      How is everybody going?

      djk — you are in Vienna, right?? I’ll GLADLY come over and be your lackey πŸ™‚ Empty a box; visit a cafe for pastry and coffee. Empty a box; visit the Schonbrunn. Empty a box; listen to the Vienna Boys Choir. Nap. Have another pastry and coffee. Mit schlag.

    • #205734
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan? How did you get ahold of my schedule? Creepy…

      I’d gladly accept your company–I like the way you think:)

    • #205735
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      LOL susan, are you planning your invasion to vienna? πŸ™‚
      djk, with a littlebit of luck, iΒ΄ll be in vienna at easter, and your suggestion plus susanΒ΄s detailled plan make me feel temptered to sit next to you and watch your uncluttering progress. …and sachertorte: calories for one week in 15 minutes but so worth it…

    • #205736
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Mimi!!!!!!!! Let’s meet! How wildly fun!
      how can we contact each other without putting personal contact info up here?

    • #205737
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And I think Conny passes through Vienna sometimes, I would love to meet her too:)

    • #205738
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      it would be fun to meet you! πŸ™‚

    • #205743
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Got it!

    • #205745
      chacha1
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Went to my GYN on Monday and he was out sick, so I saw a P.A. (for those of you outside the US that’s physician assistant, it’s a licensed position in between nurse and doctor). She tells me that my icky girl troubles of late are just perimenopause and there’s nothing to be done DAMN DAMN DAMN. At least she had a good sense of humor about it.

      Well, and at least the scale was less of a rebuke than I expected. So I followed up last night’s Valentine steak & bordeaux with a couple of pieces of Roger’s Chocolates.

    • #205746
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      coooooooooool djk, please leave me a note, i would really love to meet you! i just donΒ΄t know if we _really_ go, we got an invitation to exchange homes but we donΒ΄t have the contract yet, cross your fingers! πŸ™‚

    • #205748
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Got my fingers crossed! How much fun will this be, I can hardly wait:)

    • #205751
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Gaaaaaaaaaaaah, not without meeeheheeee πŸ™ Have fun guys! Love, the Jealous one

    • #205778
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh how fun! There’s a chance that I will be in either Italy or Netherlands/Belgium in late summer/early fall. Who is near there?

    • #205791
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, from Helsinki it takes about 3h to London and 2.5h to Munich. It’s only a matter of finances for me or I’d fly across Europe all the time. In the Netherlands, I’ve only visited Amsterdam and Belgium is still unknown territory, most parts of Italy too. Those in Central Europe have only time schedule and wallet up against them, since travelling by air is so quick there. So if finances would allow it, I’d be there in a flash; we’ll see! Lottery of 11 million € is coming up this Saturday πŸ˜€

    • #205795
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, i found finnair flights from helsinki to vienna, 2.5h, but the prices vary from 250 to 1380 euros per flight (oops) depending on the date. make sure to participate in the lottery! πŸ˜€

      pkilmain, i have been to rotterdam, amsterdam and antwerpen last year, it takes only 2-4 hours per way from my home to get there (depending where you are) so please let me know if you go to belgium or the netherlands! italy is a bit too far for a weekend-trip.

      now i like germany even better: itΒ΄s nice to live here and easy to get away πŸ™‚

    • #205797

      How is everybody going?

      I actually looked at the cost of a flight from San Antonio to Vienna — it’s less than 10 hours and “only” costs $850 round trip. Maybe next year πŸ™‚

    • #205798
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ps: ninakk, we try to get a summer holdiday swap to copenhagen or stockholm, stockholm seems to be be quite close to you! πŸ™‚

    • #205821
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan and I could be in Texas at the same time.{:o) Anyone else?

    • #205828

      How is everybody going?

      liag: We could both be in Texas like — right now!!! But, it’s not Vienna . . . .

    • #205832
      happymonkey
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Liag and Susan, my husband is supposed to be moving to San Antonio for a year or two, although the move has been postponed for the past several months (he’s there this week for meetings and will hopefully get a moving date soon!). I could totally do a Texas meetup when I’m there for a visit!

    • #205836

      How is everybody going?

      happymonkey — you’d better get hold of me when you visit! You had mentioned this before and i didn’t realize he would be here that long.

    • #205856
      happymonkey
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan, I have your email address and definitely will! His part of the project was originally supposed to be several months, but the scope keep getting enlarged (and the start date keeps getting pushed back). I’m looking forward to finally meeting you in person one of these days!

    • #206068
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, How are you? We haven’t heard from you lately.

    • #206105
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yes. We would love to hear from ninakk. Best wishes all.

    • #206108
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      omgoodness!
      i bought some earrings from ninakk’s etsy shop and they arrived today.
      they are divine!
      little silver twigs with leaves.

    • #206122
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Photo or link please, bandicoot! I love ear-rings πŸ™‚

    • #206129
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      We do need a way to see them.
      And we need to hear from our Ninakk too!

    • #206132
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I missed the post where ninakk reveled her etsy shop, can anyone mention it again?

      I’m also worried about her, I just hope she’s having some time away from technology with friends.

    • #206135

      How is everybody going?

      netleigh: go to etsy then people/SolskenDesign. I’ve looked at the jewelry and it is lovely.

    • #206136
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, my, it is lovely!

    • #206161
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks guys πŸ˜€ I actually didn’t want to announce it here, but oh well, Susan has a good memory, haha. I’m doing okay under the circumstances and today I will go to a viewing with the husband; we both want him to have a decent place and the law requires a minimum of six months of thinking time (only one party or both can file for divorce and only one can insist on it to be completed once the six months are out), so should he have a miraculous therapy and I a successful patching up of myself it will be impossible to say who we are in half a year or a year. Right now, I’m still sticking by my decision of living alone and while it is very hard in many more than just one way I don’t see any other solution; we aren’t good for each other and have plenty of stuff to sort out on our own. Plus I really need the peace and quiet while preparing for my exam since it indeed is my last shot at medicine.

    • #206170
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk: sounds good.

    • #206177
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ninakk, good to hear you are ok considering the circumstances and that your sister’s party went well!

    • #206185
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ninakk: your jewellery is indeed lovely! Glad to hear you are sorting your life out πŸ™‚

    • #206257
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Well done, Nina. I think that you have handled the whole situation very gracefully and gone above and beyond by helping to find a new living situation for your DH. And perhaps time apart will be useful for both of you. I’m glad you will be able to prepare for your exam without the stress you have been having.

    • #206288
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks again! candy, would you believe I can’t wear earrings for the same reason either…

    • #206769
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you for your kind wishes.

      Last week, in the midst of the rest of this, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer: we are now waiting for the results of his CT and bone scans. I’m sorry not to be in a position to contribute to the forum at this time, and wish everyone the best.

    • #206771
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy1965- don’t give it a second thought, take care of you and yours!

    • #206784
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I’m so sorry about your dad’s health, and other current challenges. Sending a hug and healing thoughts to you.

    • #206790
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy 1965,
      Sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time and then to hear about your dad on top of everything as well. Hope everything goes as well as it can do, Take care.

    • #206792
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Dearest lucy, take care of yourself first and don’t worry about us here at all; you don’t owe us anything but are a delight to have around whenever you feel like popping in. I’ve been worrying about you ever since hearing of your situation and while it was lovely to have you post how you are doing, the message certainly made me sad. I wish you, your family and friends all the best and know that there are many thinking of you all around the globe. Plenty of hugs/hogs and a kiss on each cheek, as well.

    • #207200
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Just found out Step F-in-L passed away in January and none of his family told us! They have our phone number and I’m shocked that they didn’t contact us, we were quite fond of him, he kept M-i-L well occupied and living a good distance away from us in her later years!
      We only found out via the solicitors still dealing with the mess still going on from M-i-L’s will 4 years after she passed away.

    • #207211
      PJ
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Anita and Netleigh, big hugs to both of you – a move (before you’re ready) and a death in the (in-law) family that you didn’t know about until too late would both be very stressful!

    • #207212
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Pure comic relief from all the serious woes and troubles:
      Youngest Dd who is now 16, (sophomore in high school)wonders why I won’t let her go to a guy “friends” house,
      who is 18,( senior in high school) who I met once today for 5 minutes, don’t know if he’s a good driver, where he lives and don’t know his parents or if they’re even home.
      why can’t I just trust her, she wonders?
      omg, by now, i should be able to get through this conversation blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.
      and yet, I swear she’s gonna be the death of me.
      on top of it all, during this conversation, she drops her bloody phone down the back of the love seat in our bedroom, into the one spot where the lining has a small hole, and her phone is lost in the love seat for 15 minutes, until we turn it – the love seat-every which way
      to shake the phone loose. a comedy of errors.
      worst part: husband does not like to say NO to dear daughters.
      so he says nothing. I have always been the bad guy, the disciplinarian, always!!!
      heck, he figures if she’s not shooting up heroin or becoming an axe murderer, it’s all good
      and they all (dd’s) should be able to do anything they want.

    • #207263
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Conny- You are so right about them wanting to know why, if only to come up with another argument!
      (This one still likes me to tuck her in at night!)

    • #207303
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Laetitia- my little story was meant to give a smile is all!
      With all the serious issues folks round here are dealing with, my teen drama is pure
      silliness! And with this dd being the youngest of five, I’ve heard it all, a few times !
      The advice you gave is tried and true, however. Thanks!

    • #207313
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      @ Anita: Don’t expect the landlord to prosper with your idea. He charges too much rent, and he’s a jerk. I doubt that people doing photography startups are going to want to play in his sandbox for very long, and more established and affluent artists simply won’t stand for his attitude and lousy maintenance.

    • #207345
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      And Anita, when your landlord screws up his photo studio and his customers get disgruntled with him, they’ll have a new option close by! I’m assuming that your studio members will be moving with you?

    • #207433
      Astreja
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Heads up: I strongly suspect that ‘sosoandu’ may be a spammer. (And what’s all this ‘meeting u’ business? The account was started back in December/11.)

    • #207436
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I think u nailed it, Astreja.

    • #207441
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      djk: u r funny!

    • #207445
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ella I m glad u think so

    • #207447
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      me 2

    • #210669
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hi, all —

      I hate to wake this thread up, but I could use some hogs: my father had prostate cancer surgery last week, and last night at midnight local time (2 am at my father’s home) my brother called to tell me that Dad had collapsed and was about to ride Life Flight to a hospital an hour away, for treatment of pulmonary emboli. This afternoon a cardiologist was inserting a IVC filter to help prevent any further clots from getting to his lungs.

      I’m upset and exhausted, and am trying to heighten that enough so that I’ll sleep tonight: there are only two loads of laundry left, the litter boxes have been scrubbed and bleached, I’ve spent two hours pruning in the garden and I’ve Done All The Errands. (I also bought a tube of mascara and some jojoba oil for myself, because it’s been quite a while since I allowed myself a treat.)

      DS’s partner graduates from university tomorrow, and we were going to see The Avengers and take her out to dinner. See what planning gets you?

    • #210671
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, so sorry to hear that Lucy. Fortunately it sounds like they caught it soon enough to put in the filter! One of my most scary runs when I worked on the ambulance was a man in the same position as your Dad. I was never more glad to hand someone over to the docs. Sending you lots of hogs from Alaska.

    • #210672
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      hogs and hogs to you and your dad, lucy!

      grrr, i do not understand people waking other people in the middle of the night with bad news, about which nobody can do anything until morning anyway.
      a ruined night’s sleep doesn’t help anyone.

    • #210688

      How is everybody going?

      Heaps of hogs, Lucy! And ditto, bandicoot.

    • #210691
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Many hogs to you dear Lucy!

    • #210704
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs in abundance to you Lucy. I hope your father recovers well.

    • #210705
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs and hogs Lucy, hope you managed to get tired enough to get to sleep and that things improve with your Dad.

    • #210707
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ditto the well wishes and hogs, Lucy!
      (grab a 15 minute nap whenever you can, it will help)

    • #210713
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sending more of the same, Lucy. And look after yourself as well.

    • #210718
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks, everyone, so very much.

      @bandicoot: that was pretty much my reaction, too. “Um, baby brother, I get that you’re scared, and I’ll stay on here and talk for as long as you need me to, but I can’t do anything from here: the airport closed three hours ago.”

      I’ve just finished talking to my mom, and the news isn’t great: during the procedure they found heart damage from the clots, and they won’t be releasing him any time soon. So I’m doing my best to keep occupied until someone calls with more information.

    • #210723
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m out of practice at being anyone’s “voice of sanity at 2 am”; I should have thought of that. Thanks, Anita, for reminding me.

    • #210724
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sending more hogs from here. I’m also hoping that pretty soon you will be posting some really good news, Lucy. It seems that you have had more than your share of bad, and I’m hoping things start getting better for you!

    • #210730
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      paisley, I worry that people see I’m posting on a thread and think “Oh, Lucy’s having a moan again” and I loathe the thought of it.

    • #210732
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, I don’t think that at all. I just felt bad that you have had so much thrown at you. And I hope your luck turns.

    • #210733
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, don’t think that, Life’s not always easy and you need to have some form of outlet at times like this. Plus I expect your brother was feeling scared and couldn’t hold off from waiting to talk to you till the morning.

    • #210737
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      lucy, i am so sorry to read that the news isn’t better for your dad.
      i will keep him in my thoughts, and we will all hope for some improvement.

    • #210744

      How is everybody going?

      Lucy, have you SEEN my rants? Hogs and good thoughts, that’s what friends are for!

    • #210757
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      In a couple weeks, we’re going to a family gathering of my Moms
      side of the family, first one since her death. It’s a bday party for my moms sister, they’ve asked
      for no gifts, but a poem or skit will be accepted!
      So I talked sis into singing with me a song we used to perform at family functions when we were
      7 or 8. Should be fun, but there will be memories I’m not sure how I’ll handle.
      Especially my dad being there with his GF.

      Picked dd up early from school with stomach flu, and boy is she freaking crabby.
      16 year olds do not like to sit around feeling sickly on Friday nights, you’d think we had her cloistered in a
      convent or something.

      These are silly anecdotes of my day, put sadly into perspective when I talked to SIL today at length, her cancer has returned and invaded her further after only 3 months clear, and 11/2 years of pure hell
      trying to get rid of it and going through reconstructive surgery. she and her dh were just waiting
      for their kids to be home from school to tell them. My dh’s family is wonderful and supportive and they/we will be there for her however,
      but I had no words when she said, it’s not curable, just treatable and she wants to see her kids make it to their teens.
      It’s a shitty mess and There is just no sense to be made of it – anyway, anyhow.
      So – please,this isn’t a feel sorry for me post, but a kind of journal entry.
      Everyone has sadness and miseries at times, it sometimes just feels better to share some things.
      Know what I mean?

    • #210766
      Jackthetiger
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yep, everyone has sadness and misery at some time. It’s part of life. But it is great to be able to share with people who are willing to give hogs, a kind word or some constructive advice that moves us forward.

      So hogs Lucy, Irish and anyone else who needs them.

    • #210768
      PJ
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yes, Lucy, you shouldn’t worry about that – it often seems like multiple things happen all at the same time. You are just in one of those phases at the moment. But it won’t last – it never does!

      Many hogs! And your dad (plus irishbell’s SIL) are in my thoughts and my prayers.

    • #210774
      clutterbug22
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irishbell, so sorry to hear about your SIL, like you posted – What can you say? It will be a difficult conversation for her with her children today.
      And hope it goes as well as poss for your celebration of your Mum’s birthday, it must be a bit difficult/strange regarding your Dad.
      Sending hogs.

    • #212167

      How is everybody going?

      Good to hear from you, Conny!

      Things took a turn for the worse here — MIL was admitted to the hospital last night. Will get a better grasp of what’s wrong after the doctor sees her today. She’s been staying with the SIL & BIL while her house is being refurbished. She had a gastro-intestinal upset last night, then fell out of bed (!) and possibly broke her nose. There seems to be some internal bleeding and a urinary tract infection. SIL & BIL are going for a week-long vacation starting Wednesday, so we might get her at our house after all, as leaving her alone at this point doesn’t seem to be an option. Sigh — I knew this day would arrive, but I hoped for later rather than sooner. DH just returned to the hospital. I’ll get the spare room ready just in case — I do hope she’s OK. Thank goodness this happened when there was someone available to respond to her cry for help.

    • #212169
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      That’s awful, Susan! All the best to your mil!

      Good to have you back, Conny!

    • #212186
      rutheverhart
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan, I’m sorry to hear about this turn of events with MIL. It sounds like rather a game-changer for your plans. Best wishes as you go forward!

    • #212207
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, Susan, what a night! I hope the doctor has some good news for you later today, and that you’re able to go forward from a place of calm.

      I’ll direct some of that calm towards Anita, as well; I’ve been playing the “No one’s dead, no one’s sick, we haven’t lost the house” game myself.

      *waves hello to Conny*

    • #212213
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan- sending you patience and calm to get through this episode, especially patience.
      And best wishes for your MIL.

    • #212224
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan– I do hope your MIL gets better quickly! And that the plan after discharge is one that satisfies everyone until she can get back to her house!

    • #212230
      Mimi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      SIT, all the best to your MIL and your family in general!

    • #212236
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan: I’m so sorry about your MIL’s fall. People in their 90’s don’t bounce back very well, especially as she has been under such extreme stress lately. I hope she gets out of the hospital without further incident. Hospitals are dangerous places to be!

      A couple of things to ponder: Have you looked into those medical alert systems, the ones with an electronic pendant or bracelet to wear? Would a live-in companion be a possibility? Moving her back into her own home may prove to be only transitional, and a care facility may be in her future sooner rather than later. I’m sure she knows this (and fears it). Nevertheless, moving her back into her own home will be a comfort for her, while you and your H put plans in place for more secure care.

      Would you still be able to go on your planned trip in August without your H?

    • #212250
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      susan, my heart broke a little, reading about your mil’s fall and her nose.
      how frightening and painful, particularly for an elderly lady πŸ™
      sending hogs and sympathy to you all….it seems that a lot of flexibility is going to be required in the weeks and months ahead.

      anita…o my dear, what an unsettling week.
      life really does just roll on horribly at times.
      i know of nothing else to do than to wait it out.

    • #212251

      How is everybody going?

      Anita — what a disturbing week!

      Thanks for all the well wishes. We just got a diagnosis, erosive duodenitis, sort of like ulcers but not as serious. Looks like it can be controlled with diet and perhaps a change in her medications. All in all, not too bad. They will probably grant her parole tomorrow. DH has taken Wednesday through Friday off work so he can stay with her.

      Ella, we did get her a medical alert system about a year ago, but she doesn’t seem to be wearing the necklace (she says she does, but I can tell it hasn’t moved from week to week.) Maybe this will convince her it is really needed.

      We’ve been discussing the possibility of some home help. Without going into the details, she has what we euphemistically refer to as “bathroom issues,” including some incontinence and mild chronic diarrhea, which she compounds with imperfect hygiene. She shuts down when any of us try to discuss possible solutions with her and is clever at hiding the evidence. We’ve been thinking that someone two or three days a week to wrangle her into the shower would be worth it. Round the clock home care is expensive — about $8,000 a month — and way beyond her (or our) means for any length of time. She really does cope fairly well on her own most of the time.

      I’m still planning on an August vacation. As for DH — we will see. He’s quite aware that his mother could live for another 10-15 years and he can’t put his own life on hold, although he will be there for her if he is needed.

    • #212260
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Susan, sending lots of hogs and good wishes to you and your DH and MIL. She is fortunate to have loving family to care for her.

      Will the diagnosis and resultant diet change assist with the bathroom issues too?
      I heartily subscribe to having a competent “stranger” to gently bully her into showering etc. I’ve done my share of that in the years I worked with people with various disabilities. Family sometimes can be too close and have too much history with the person. A nurse or home health care staff have no emotional investment and therefore can’t be manipulated, tricked, or made to feel guilty by the person who doesn’t want to shower, or take medicine, or do their physio, whatever.
      YMMV, just offering my personal experience here.

    • #212266
      lottielot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Poor susan’s MIL πŸ™ I’m sure it must be very disorientating being somewhere different. It sounds like she will do best in her own home, with a home help a few times a week to help her bathe. My mum is going through hell right now trying to get help for her mum, who has developed dementia and is in a bad way but being blocked by her father, who shouts at anyone who comes in to help her and whose health is also deteriorating rapidly. So sad.

    • #212310
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sorry to hear about your MiL, Susan. She may be eligible for state-subsidized home health care through Medicare or Medicaid via the PACE program. You can protect MiL’s assets by putting her house in a trust with MiL as the beneficiary before you apply for aid. A lawyer who specializes in elder care should be able to set that up. My mother did this for my recently deceased grandfather, and it was a big help to him until he went into hospice.

      Speaking of which, I haven’t fallen off the planet, folks. My grandfather’s death was the most recent in a series of deaths and serious illnesses among my family and friends over the last few months. I’m still waiting for the next shoe to drop, but things are beginning to look up in the meantime and I’m looking forward to participating in the forums again. My husband and I finally have a contract on a house, and I’ve picked up some more freelance and volunteer work to keep me busy.

    • #212311
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good to see you irulan, and sorry for your losses. that is a sad
      part of life to wander through.
      You sound ready to get up and go again, and that is good!

    • #212312
      Zora
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’ve been homebound for the past couple of months. My old Toyota hit a pothole after recent heavy rains; mechanic said it needed new struts, don’t drive too far, too fast, too much. I waited until I had saved up the money to fix the struts. BUT … after working on the car, mechanic said car needed new tire, tie rods. Don’t drive too far, too fast, too much. So I’m still stuck in the house. I drive to the supermarket two blocks away, and that’s it. Heart in mouth the entire time, lest the car fall to pieces.

      My arthritis is so bad that I can’t stand or walk more than a few minutes at a time, so I can’t walk or take the bus, and I’m too poor for taxis.

      My flatbed scanner died, and my project to digitize all my old photos stopped dead. Trying to catch up on years of sewing projects. If my fifty-year-old sewing machine dies too, I’m @#$%@#$%.

    • #212325
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh zora – sending hugs, hogs and everything else good to you!
      Sounds like you could use it.

    • #212328
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Aww Zora, I hope things turn around for you soon! Also sending hogs from here!

    • #212329
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Crossing my fingers for machines not breaking down, Zora! Hope you have some fun with the sewing.

    • #212332
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sorry to hear about your transportation issues, Zora. Do social services or local nonprofits offer help with taxi vouchers in your area?

      Thank you for the kind thoughts, irishbell.

    • #212333
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irulan, I didn’t notice your post. I’m sorry for your loss! Warm thoughts and hogs from here!

    • #212336
      Northshore
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      My goodness, there has been a lot to catch up on in only three days.
      Irulan, I am sorry to hear about your grandfather and hope that things are indeed looking up for you.
      Susan, hope all goes well with your MIL’s recuperation–a time to be kind to yourself as well.
      Zora, is there any way you can get rides from a senior agency? I drive people to medical appointments and the grocery store as a volunteer.
      Hogs to everyone.

    • #212349
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks again for the kind thoughts, ninakk, Northshore and all. They’re very much appreciated. I think I’ll start up a happy thread for the house stuff πŸ™‚

    • #212700
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs to everyone, Irulan, SIT and Zora who sound as if you have had too many trials recently.
      I’m in need of hogs myself, only 5 hours ago I posted how destressed I was after being on holiday.
      Then I found out Auntie fell yesterday when with my distant cousins and her wrist was sore and bent, did they take her to hospital? No, they took her home, so when her carer arrived this morning an Ambulance was called and her wrist is broken! Not sure yet what the outcome will be as using a walking frame with an arm in plaster might be tricky, I have told one of the distant cousins to go to the hospital to find her in A&E as I’m not driving up today and they should have taken her there yesterday. I just can’t believe how useless they are, they are late 40’s adults and should know better. Such a lack of care when she’s been their ‘favourite’ Auntie for years but because I’m next of kin I get left to do everything.
      Rant over, it helped!

    • #212708
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs to Netleigh and your Auntie!
      OMG , to let her suffer all night with the pain of a broken wrist…
      I just can’t imagine. The relatives sound incompetent at best.
      Your Auntie is a lucky woman to have you on her side.

    • #212743
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hospital are keeping Auntie in as a wrist in plaster and a zimmer frame are not the best companions. Safest place for her until the OT’s have seen what’s what. At least I made one of the cousins go and sit with her in A&E all afternoon rather than me spending 3 hours on the road to get there and back.

    • #212967
      GardenGirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Uh… well… I just involuntarily decluttered my job (or got decluttered by my employer, whichever way you want to view that). Not my boss’s choice, either; he wanted to keep me on. But several of us got axed today — the company has been moving in a new direction for quite some time, and they’re outsourcing (locally, at least) the stuff we did for them.

      How glad am I that I kept my freelance business going on the side? (Very.) And that I have a freelance gig right now? (Very.) And that I’ve been on a decluttering roll for the past few months, so even though I still have stuff to deal with here in the house, I’m not feeling buried it by anymore? (Very.)

      Deep breath….

    • #212970
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      GardenGirl, I’m sorry to hear about your day job, but I’m glad to see that you’re already partially prepared through your freelance and housekeeping efforts. Pat yourself on the back for your cleverness and forethought, and take a couple of days to simply adjust if you’re able.

      Netleigh, I hope your aunt if feeling better.

    • #212972

      How is everybody going?

      Netleigh — I just read about your Auntie debacle — how terrible! In your cousin’s defense, though, I know from dealing with the MIL that if you don’t have a lot of experience, dealing with our elders can be difficult, especially when they keep insisting that nothing is wrong . . even when it is. Still!!!

      Gardengirl — so sorry about decluttering the job, but sounds like to have a plan. Hogs to you.

    • #212975
      GardenGirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Irulan & susanintexas — thanks for the support. And Irulan, it wasn’t so much forethought as sheer terror that made me keep the side business going and keep working my a– off even when I was getting burned out. But hey, “cleverness and forethought” sound much better, so yeah, let’s call it that. πŸ˜€

      Just took a 45-minute walk (and took half a Xanax just before that) to try to keep panic attacks at bay. I can still feel it lurking around the edges, but next up is a shower. This weekend I will take the Donate pile to Goodwill, and that should help a teensy bit.

      Netleigh — hope your Auntie is doing better!

    • #212976
      rutheverhart
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      GardenGirl — Irulan is right. cleverness and forethought look exactly the same as working your ass off, especially when you can sniff change in the wind. Hang in there!

      Susan and Netleigh — best of luck with the elderly relatives. Aging is not for the faint of heart.

    • #212984
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      GardenGirl, sad to hear of the job loss but I’m so glad you have the freelance work to tide you over. At least you will not be working the proverbial ass off for a while. Hope the panic is fading away.

      Good? news on the Auntie front, she’s been transferred to a BUPA care home(paid for by NHS) as there are no available beds in the NHS rehab facilities. They do her laundry there, which wouldn’t happen in a NHS rehab unit, a small thing that really helps me as I don’t have to try to organise it being done somehow. She’s likely to be there for at least 6 weeks until the plaster is off and possibly then some if she can’t support herself on her frame.
      SIT, I could forgive the cousins except for the fact that once Auntie was home she left a couple of messages saying her wrist was sore on my answerphone, we were out Jubilee Street Partying. They must have known when they left her at home.

    • #212985
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      i have been out of action for a few days and will be limited with my reading and correspondence for a few days more.
      cataract op #2 went well, but post-operatively my eye opened beneath the bandage overnight and i scratched hell out of my anaesthetised eyeball and woke to hideous pain.
      i spent two days with eyes closed, sleeping, forbidden to read or watch movies or move my eyeballs in the least….o the exquisite pain of it all….and now the pain and swelling has stopped, but the eye is blurryblurryblurry.
      it should settle down in a few days, and the focus should sharpen up, and then you all can call me eagle-eye from here on πŸ™‚

    • #213001
      GardenGirl
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      oooh, bandicoot — ouch! So glad to hear that you’re on the mend now.

      Netleigh — that does sound like good news, that your auntie has been moved to someplace where she will be well looked after.

      The panic is still lurking about, and probably will for a while, but I’m making a list of Stuff To Do (someone offered a while back to help me with re-branding the freelance biz, so emailing her is near the top of the list), and as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I s’pose I’ll manage. I keep reminding myself, I’ve survived much worse.

    • #213069
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      today is day five post-op and things are looking clearer.
      i still have a cross-looking red mark on my eyeball, but i am applying the eye drops religiously , and there is no pain. just a slight grittiness every now and then.
      and i can read smaller print each day, which is marvellous.

      it is a public holiday here today….queen’s birthday…..and i am throwing a lavish afternoon tea for a few girlfriends.
      and one of them will be reading our tea leaves!

    • #213074

      How is everybody going?

      I should have thought of taking off for the Queen’s birthday . . . Bandicoot, glad to hear you are on the mend. Eye problems must be very scary!

    • #213090
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot – I’m glad to hear you are on the mend. My DH is having eyesight problems as well, and I’m after him to see the opthamologist. Some I think is allergy/dust related, but it seems worse than usual.

      As for me, don’t know if I mentioned that I have increased the dosage on the anti-depressant medication, and it seems to have helped some. In addition, I have started seeing a therapist and at her suggestion will join a 12-week group session starting on Friday. Hopefully something in this mix will change things fo the better.

    • #213097
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain, i hope the opth has some answers for your dh.
      don’t let him delay…eye things can develop quickly.
      and i am sending good wishes for sunnier days for you.
      you have such a wonderful eclectic holistic approach.

    • #213099
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Good mendings to all who need it and best of luck to those who need it as well!

    • #213183
      s
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh my gosh, @bandicoot! I was wondering where you were. So sorry you had some trouble. Eyes are so scary! Glad things are heading in the right direction! Hogs!

    • #213184
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Goodness! Please take care everyone and rest those eyes bandicoot!

    • #213186
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain
      I’m glad to hear the anti-depressants are making a difference, don’t rush to get off them too soon.

      bandicoot,
      Hope the eye is still settling down properly, didn’t you have the glamorous plastic eye covers to tape to your face? When my Mum had corneal grafts and cataract surgery she had to tape them onto her face every night for months.

    • #213216
      Claycat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Sending love to pkilmain and bandicoot!

      I can certainly identify with eye problems.

      Netleigh, I’m glad your aunt is getting help.

      GardenGirl, my sympathy on your job situation. I hope you get the ideal job for you. In the meantime, see if you can find a new book in the library called The $100 Startup. It is a good book about creating work or a business for yourself on very little money. If you have a Kindle, it’s on Amazon.

    • #213217
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      netleigh….post-op they bandaged my eye, covered it with the plastic guard, then taped it all down.
      under all that, i still managed to open my eye and scratch my eyeball without knowing it because it was still numb.
      i refused the nightly taping for the mandatory five days and wore a large padded sleep mask instead…..it did the same thing, which was protect my eyes from accidental brushings of hands or bedcovers.
      a corneal graft is a whole lot more complex than what i had done, and would i am guessing it would require a lot more protection and aftercare.
      thank you all for your well wishes! i am thrilled with how my eyes are settling down and the crazy detail that is now visible, far and near.

    • #213224
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      DH has returned from a two-day fishing trip, and his eyes are bad again. He will call the optho in the morning. He has a friend who worked for an eye surgeon on Oregon, and learned a bit more about plugs for the rear tear ducts. His doc had talked to him about it as a solution for his dry eyes. He’s at a point now where drops don’t do much. I hope he can get in quickly.

      bandicoot – glad to hear that you are improving daily, and loving the crazy detail!

    • #213225
      Netleigh
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      bandicoot,
      I’m enjoying the concept of you wearing a 1930’s hollywood glam sleep mask rather than the plastic covers! It must have been so frustrating that your eye managed to open and get scratched even with all the post-op protection.
      When Mum had the grafts it was still quite a new procedure so they were really cautious about the protection.

    • #213366
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Daughter settled custody and all. We ran out of money and had to strike deal that was not great. Gave in on a lot, but have shared custody at least.

    • #213369
      Ella
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      liag: Congratulations on the shared custody. And on getting it over with… it must have been a dreadful ordeal. Very good to see you back here and posting up a storm. πŸ™‚

    • #213372
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thanks. There is a great deal in the custody agreement that is unsatisfactory and even dangerous and scary. We were trapped.

    • #213419
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      liag, what a stressful ordeal for all involved.
      i am glad that it is over for now.
      less-than-ideal conditions can always be revisited down the track.
      i hope things settle down.

    • #213420
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you, Bandicoot. I am wishing you well–and have been, even when too emotionally disabled to write–throughout your ophthalmological ordeal. We are picking up pieces are marching forward.

    • #213427
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      liag, love, you have to get over rough terrain as lightly as you can. When financial conditions are better, petitioning for a modification order may be an option, but you did the best you could with what you had. I’ve been there and it’s hard. *offers hogs if they would be welcome*

    • #213446
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      What Lucy said. πŸ™‚ I hope things will calm down over time, and as the kids get older they will see what each parent is really like, and make their preferences known.

    • #213459
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you so much, Unclutterer dears. I noticed a gigantic difference in speaking with my dd this evening vs. this a.m. Already healing, all of us.

    • #213462
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      How is everybody going?

      My sympathies to all who are struggling. The valleys sometimes seem to outnumber the peaks. Hogs to all who need them! Can send more if helpful.

    • #213464
      paisley
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs and sympathies to those in a rough spot! Would like to have a cup of tea or coffee in person, but will have to send cyber-sympathies.

    • #213468
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      day nine post-op check up yesterday.
      all is well.
      i have perfect distance and reading in the nominated eyes and improved distance and reading as a secondary bonus in each eye.
      all round, it is vastly better vision than i have had since i was eight years old.
      i asked about the trembling wobbliness when i read and the ophth assured me that that is quite common and will settle down over the next month.
      and because i am relatively young, i may get scarring of the bag that the lens is in….this is easily quickly painlessly lasered off in his rooms (no surgery), is inexpensive, and only happens once.
      isn’t modern medicine amazing?

      every night i go outside around midnight and look at the stars….i just cannot get over the clarity and detail!

    • #213476
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Glad you have arrived at the coasting-down side of this ordeal, Bandicoot. Happy viewing!

    • #213773
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Our DC is sick, and she’s such an old lady we’re worried. We’ve got daily visits to the vet for antibiotic shots right now, and she’s terribly lethargic. Mind you, we’ve got a humid 34 degree evening at the moment and we’re all wilting. I don’t know how hot it was at work today, but it was cooler outside. I’ve got a pressure headache and I’m eagerly awaiting the promised thunderstorm to break the pressure. DC gets the fan, so that leaves us sweltering. It can get up to 40 & humid here, so I should be grateful it hasn’t got there yet.

    • #213775
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      @djk – sorry to hear that DC is under the weather.

      DH was just at the opthomologist again, after coming home last night with his eyes swollen and very painful. More drugs, including an antibiotic this time. He goes back on Friday, and if no improvement he’s to see a cornea specialist. Sigh. We’re supposed to leave next Tues night for a short vacation to the National Square Dance Festival in Spokane, Washington.

    • #213776
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      ..and, with a spluttering start of a few flickers of lightning, and a few half-hearted farts of thunder, it would appear we’re getting a break. Aaaahhhhhhhhh. Now a bit of wind and rain and we could lower the inside temperature a bit. We’ve gone down to 28 inside. I freeze here most of the year so I am happy for the heat, but I need to be able to sleep, too!

      ETA:
      Thanks, pkilmain. We are passionately devoted to our little dictator, and it breaks our hearts when she’s so ill. The vet said we may have her for a few more months at most. Right now it’s not entirely clear what is exactly wrong, other than an overly-large heart and liver.
      I hope your DH’s eyes recover quickly!

    • #213778
      chacha1
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Very minor and trivial issue to report: I seem to be getting older. Was in the drugstore yesterday and realized I need reading glasses OH DAMMIT.

    • #213779
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Chacha, I sympathise…I too appear to be getting older. As they say, it’s better than the alternative. I have a couple of grey hairs that resist hair colour, I discovered an age spot on my forehead, and I have very sexy vertical lines between my brows which suddenly appeared. Did I sign up for this?

    • #213782
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      *snortlaughs gently* As someone who’s been forced to bifocals and gray hair in the last 13 months, let me give you both a comforting pat and some tea. And djk, my best wishes to you and your Elder Statescat: I’ve got two, and it’s tough. May there be pleasant days in sunshine and an easy end, when it’s time.

    • #213783
      chacha1
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I haven’t had an eye exam since late 2007, so I’m overdue. (Nothing like changing jobs three times to disrupt healthcare routines.) I think at my grand old age of 46 my mother was already in bifocals. My sister is 2 yrs older and recently had to get reading glasses for the first time. I’ve gotten by with wearing them only at night & for distance vision (e.g. theatre) but apparently the time has come for stronger measures. SIGH.

      Let’s not even talk about gray hair. I am getting it in some very unwelcome places.

    • #213784
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      djk, i am sending good thoughts for DC.

      pkilmain, i hope your husband’s eyes settle down soonest.
      i never before knew how painful eyes could get, but i know it now.

      after years of wishing, months of research, and then more months of paperwork and permissions…..we have a roof full of solar panels!
      and the sun is shining (this is our cold-but-dry season).

    • #213822
      pkilmain
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Ah, DH reports that his eyes are much better this morning, so we’ll see if that lasts all day…..

    • #213828
      chacha1
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yay!

    • #213841
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      pkilmain….good to hear! fingers crossed for more of the same.

    • #213932
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      My Dads condo sold today, finally!
      Now to get with my sibs and divide up the furniture and get it moved.
      I thought I would be more emotional about it, but he hadn’t had a family gathering there
      after my Mom passed, and he hasn’t lived there for over a year, so i think I’ve done the grieving over
      no longer having a family home to go ” home” to. It was hard coming to terms with that.
      Guess I’ll see how I feel when it’s all said and done.
      He’s happy to have this off his shoulders, so I’m happy for him- one less worry.
      But- it will be the one last chapter of his life with my Mom, closed.

    • #213933
      liag
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Yea, ib. The home lives inside all of you, never to go away. As you sibs move things out you will enjoy many happy memories.What strikes me on occasions like this, though, is that we all remember things–and people–somewhat differently.

    • #213935
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Oh, irish. *offers hogs*

    • #213938
      Hansi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you for asking but right now not so good.
      I’ve been decluttering the remains of my long time marrige and it’s hard. I’ve been looking for some single beds on IKEA and I am slowly making progress in my new life.
      I’ve been buying lots of foods since I was out so losing stuff is gone for this month if you see the balance of things in and out.
      Oh but I ended a membership to a dating site on the Internet – I just wasn’t ready.
      I’ve taken a small vacation off work to get things going again, the steam is low right now but i’m slowly going on.

      Otherwise i’m on the move since a week now living out of 2 bags. I do this every 3 weeks and it works fine, except my Mac that is going for service. A well I have my phone for surfing so thats ok.

    • #213939
      lucy1965
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hansi, there are also hogs on offer for you, if you’d like them. I’ve done what you’re doing and would recommend just trying to get through the next 10 minutes. If that goes well, do the next 10.

    • #213946
      luxcat
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hansi I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. I wish you the best of everything.

    • #213948
      Northshore
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      Hogs to Irishbell and Hansi as you deal with difficult transitions.

      I am in a bit of a funk, myself. I ran into problems installing wi-fi–I finally got past multiple false starts but I just do not understand much of the vocabulary in these instructions and I’m still working on the security settings. Most of my friends just hire the Geek Squad or have their kids handle theirs but I am trying to understand what I’m doing and think I should be able to handle these tasks. Besides, my kids have Macs and don’t seem to care as much about security as I do.
      Then, this morning I needed something of DH’s, knew I had seen it somewhere, but have no idea where. I’ve been in the house for nearly two years and sometimes feel I will never get settled or organized. It seems that everything I pick up requires a decision–a decision requiring information or expertise that I don’t have. I know I am whining. I just seem awfully stuck lately and there’s so much left to do.

    • #213956
      Hansi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Thank you for the support.

    • #213957
      bandicoot
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      hansi….that all sounds very difficult. i wish for better and more settled times soon for you.

      northshore, all any of us can do is keep right on going.
      my tiling job has just been postponed for ANOTHER three months… some days i wonder if i’ll be living on raw concrete floors for the rest of my life. it’s been eight years already. then i remind myself i am lucky it isn’t a dirt floor.

    • #213960
      djk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time, Hansi. Sending best wishes to you.

      Irishbell, I remember how it felt to have our family home sell and my parents move house when I had just left home. There then was no ‘home’ to come home to. It was upsetting. However I was about 19 so I’ve had some time to get used to that. I hope you will be able to adjust to the idea–and remember your true home is where you make it, and where you have indeed made it for your own family.

    • #213971
      irishbell
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hansi & Northshore- you both are going through harder times than I’ve ever seen, hugs & hogs! πŸ™‚

      Thanks to all for your warm thoughts. It’s really just a minor bump.
      I’ve had a wonderful life, still have my Dad and all close family members,
      had my Mom in my life for 55 years, longer than many, I’m aware and I am truly blessed.
      Our family was so FAMILY oriented and dominated, in a good way, that I think this is why it’s been difficult for me.
      like many of you have said- home is indeed where you make it!

    • #213982
      ninakk
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I’m not pleased to say we’re in sort of the same boat, Hansi, but hopefully you’ll climb out of it soon enough (for your own sake of course πŸ™‚ ). To me it feels like I’m starting over and part of it is getting rid of old junk. Can you recognize this from your own situation?

      Northshore, it’s not whining, really. A disturbance in daily life isn’t just about difficult illness or death. Feeling completely out of tune is normal and it usually goes away faster when we talk about it. Removes the mystery somehow.

      irishbell, I can’t imagine how it must feel when a parent moves on so quickly out of one’s own perspective. I think I would feel like the rug is being pulled underneath me for quite some time.

    • #214010
      Hansi
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      I really don’t know ninakk how to feel. It’s been a long way that led up to the current status but it was going there sooner or later.
      I only take every day as it comes.
      In regards to decluttering it’s nice to get her stuff out of the apartment and the bed is leaving relatively soon aswell.

    • #214077
      Irulan
      Member

      How is everybody going?

      Hang in there, Hansi and ninakk. You two are both impressive and tough, you’ll make it through fine. πŸ™‚

      I know what you’re talking about, irishbell. I think a strong family orientation is a good thing but it does make dealing with fractures and changes more difficult. My parents just gave me my grandfather’s tools for our new house because they’re putting his house on the market, and it was pretty sad to his wrenches and stuff while knowing that he won’t be around to use them anymore.

    • #214105
      Northshore
      Participant

      How is everybody going?

      I think my impatience got the best of me last week. My shoulder is recovering very nicely according to the surgeon and therapist but it’s still weak and sore. So the garden is a mess. My house is full of construction dust. And I so miss my DH’s support and expertise with these everyday problems and decisions.

      I enjoyed a weekend full of activities with friends and, thanks to a cold front, enjoyed a good night’s rest. It’s a new week.

    • #214110