All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Reader Wendy sent in this week’s untiasker selection to us and I have to admit that I thought her email was a joke, like the product was something The Onion would make into a decoy gift box. My thought process went like this: 1. Haha, what a great fake product! 2. Imagine if something like that were actually real! 3. I’ll just click on the link to see how brilliant of a site they have set up for this fake product … 4. WHAAAA?!! NO WAY! HOW IS THIS REAL?! THIS CAN’T BE REAL! OMG, IT’S REAL! 5. Well, now I know I’ll be using the Baby Care Washer as next week’s unitasker:
In case you can’t tell from the image, this is a washing machine specifically made for washing only your baby’s clothes.
Let that sink in for a second.
Only. Your. Baby’s. Clothes.
According to the product’s marketing, the reasons you need a special washing machine exclusively for your baby’s clothes and diapers are because your current washing machine doesn’t rinse detergent out of the clothes well enough (which might be true if your washing machine is from the 1970s and doesn’t have a second rinse cycle AND you have a baby with extremely sensitive skin) and your crappy washer doesn’t allow the water to get hot enough to sanitize your child’s clothes (which might be an issue for you if you’re using a detergent made out of germs instead of soap or not using a clothes dryer after using your germ-infused detergent or don’t have water temperature controls on your machine). Obviously, to fall for these ridiculous marketing points you must be in denial about the fact that your baby with super sensitive skin will eventually grow into a child with sensitive skin and then a teenager with sensitive skin and his/her clothing will need a normal washing machine much larger than this thing. What? I shouldn’t point that out??
Now, maybe I’m out of line, but if you have $600 to spend on a special washing machine just for your baby, isn’t it extremely likely you already have a super, fancy, full-capacity washing machine with the exact same specs and bells and whistles as this one but that everyone in your family can use? What is the likelihood that someone is willing to drop $600 on this device and doesn’t already own a high-end, deluxe washing machine? I’d say that likelihood is either zero or so close to zero as to be statistically irrelevant. Even “basic” washers have second rinse cycles and water temperature controls, and the “high-end” models even have things like disinfecting steam cleaning modes these days (which are great for pillows, by the way).
Another thing that made me laugh about this unitasker was something I found on the official Samsung website. The product description stated: “Designed especially for your baby, this washer features powerful double-rinsing technology that minimizes detergent residue, protecting your baby’s sensitive skin.” The sentence structure is so poorly constructed that it seems as if you could wash your baby in the washing machine instead of his/her diapers. Oh, Samsung.
Thanks again to reader Wendy for this unitasker discovery!