Unitasker Wednesday: Rub Away bar

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The Rub Away bar is a piece of stainless steel that resembles a bar of soap. It claims that you can remove odours (garlic, onions, fish, etc.) from your hands simply by rubbing them with this stainless steel bar.

I’m not sure why you couldn’t just rub your hands on one of the other pieces of stainless steel already in your kitchen such as the sink, faucet, pots, pans, or cutlery to remove the odour – IF stainless steel actually removed odour. There have been no scientific studies to show that this actually anything more than an old wives’ tale.

If you’re going to spend money on something that keeps odour from building up on your skin while cutting smelly foods, use soap and water. Regular washing will not only remove odour but also any dirt, oils, bacteria, and viruses – something that stainless steel won’t do.

Thanks to our reader Deb for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

Unitasker Wednesday: Finger lights

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

When I first saw these finger lights in a local department store last month I knew I had to include them in a Unitasker Wednesday post. Children clip these little LED lights to their fingers at birthday parties to make “cool designs” while waving their hands around in the dark. My young-adult offspring informed me that finger lights are also worn by the older crowd at “raves.” Either way, I figured finger lights were still unitaskers.

However, just last week my husband and I went for a walk around our neighbourhood after dinner, on a dark street, past a small park, and  heard rustling in the leaves, and saw in the shadows an unknown animal with fur and lots of teeth – and I kind of wished that I had LED lights clipped to my fingers and running shoes and every article of clothing I was wearing.

Unitasker Wednesday: Pancake Bot

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

We’ve written about pancake unitaskers previously. The Snap Jack Pancake Cutter can easily be replaced by a knife you already own and the Perfect Pancake Pan was described as, “the poster child for all unitaskers.”

Well, move over Perfect Pancake Pan and make room for PancakeBot – the world’s first 3D pancake printer. It automatically dispenses pancake batter directly onto a griddle in any shape designed by the cook.

But wait – don’t open that bottle of maple syrup yet! First you need to install the (included) software on your computer and learn how to use it before you can design your own pancakes. Once your composition is complete, you need to upload it into the PancakeBot, prepare the pancake batter and fill the dispenser. Only then will the machine deliver the batter onto the non-stick griddle in the shape you designed.

I suspect, by watching the video, that only certain types of pancake batters can be used in this machine. For example, vegan oatmeal pancake batter would be too thick to dispense. I’m not sure that I could successfully flip the Eiffel Tower pancake and have it stay in one piece but maybe there are some people who can coordinate two spatulas at a time.

The PancakeBot promotes itself by “helping kids and adults explore technology through food” but there are better ways to learn food science for much less than PancakeBot’s $300 price tag.

Unitasker Wednesday: Talking Toilet Paper Spindle

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Perhaps it’s from parenting young children, but when I go into the bathroom, I appreciate the peace and quiet – and the privacy. Now, lo and behold, with the Talking Toilet Paper Spindle, the toilet paper will talk to me. I can’t think of another thing that would be so disturbing as someone leaving me a message via the toilet roll.

This talking toilet paper spindle allows you to record a 9-second message that will play when the user pulls the toilet paper. Then the user can record a rebuttal right after. As if texting in the bathroom wasn’t bad enough, now you can have a verbal conversation via the toilet paper.

I could expect something like this if I was visiting a fraternity or a joke shop but I couldn’t imagine having this in my home.

Unitasker Wednesday: Banana Holder

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Bananas are a quick and healthy snack. My husband, a cyclist, often takes a banana (or two) on long distance bicycle rides. Bananas are fast and easy to eat on the go. There are many ways to transport a banana. You can put a banana in one of the three pockets on the back of your cycling shirt. You can also put a banana in your backpack along with all of the other items you carry. I’ve even known cyclists to put a banana into a water bottle so that it fits in the water bottle holder already attached to the bicycle.

Now there is a new way to carry a banana on a bicycle – the Banana Holder. Made from genuine leather, this holder can fasten a banana to your bicycle in three different ways, under your cross-bar, to your handle bars, or under your seat. For only $55 USD, you too can carry a banana, and only a banana, on your bicycle for all to see.

 

 

Thanks to Unclutterer reader Llynn for bringing this expensive unitasker to our attention.

Unitasker Wednesday: Ugly Christmas Sweater

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This Friday is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day. There is nothing more unitaskery than an article of clothing that you wear only once a year – except, of course, an ugly article of clothing that you wear only once a year.

Costumes of all types tend to be unitaskers but I’m really not a Scrooge. I understand the fun and whimsy that is needed during the dreary winter month of December. I also appreciate that many Ugly Christmas Sweater events support charities.

If you’re planning on participating in Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, try shopping at used/consignment clothing stores before purchasing something new. You could also host an ugly sweater swap party where friends can exchange their sweaters so everyone has something new to wear the following year.

Happy Holidays!

Unitasker Wednesday: Turn & Churn

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

When I first saw the Turn & Churn I couldn’t believe it. Not only would it be extremely unsanitary, it would be dangerous to try and make ice-cream with device attached to your car tire while you’re driving!
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Then I realized this was just a prank – there is no such thing as a Turn & Churn. This is just an empty box disguised to look like a useless unitasker.

There is a whole series of empty boxes designed to look like useless unitaskers including:

This might be a fine gift for someone with a good sense of humour (or a fan of Unitasker Wednesday) but I can think of better things to spend my money on than an empty box.

Unitasker Wednesday: Angry Mama Microwave Oven Cleaner

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

angry mama oven cleanerIt is important to clean your microwave oven regularly. Mould and other bacteria can grow on the food remnants left inside your microwave and contaminate other foods you cook. Besides, it will look and smell terrible. You should clean your microwave about once a week or when needed, such as immediately after a food spill.

You could use the Angry Mama Microwave Oven Cleaner. This five-inch tall figurine is made from non-toxic plastic. You fill Angry Mama with vinegar and water, turn on your microwave and the steam created will loosen baked-on residue leaving your microwave looking clean and smelling fresh.

A glass bowl filled with vinegar and water heated in the microwave oven will also do the same job. Also, by using a glass bowl you already own, you won’t have the large plastic figurine cluttering up your cupboards and perpetuating the myth that the only reason to clean your microwave oven is that your mother is angry.

Unitasker Wednesday: Golden Goose Egg Scrambler

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I love to eat eggs. Hard-boiled eggs make a healthy, low-fat, easy-to-eat snack. I always expect my eggs to look like, well, eggs – white on the outside with a yellow yolk somewhere in the middle.

The Golden Goose Egg Scrambler ruins my vision of hard-boiled eggs. It scrambles the egg in the shell without damaging the shell so you can easily boil your egg creating a “golden” egg where the yolk is all mixed up with the whites.

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The item description says that even children and the elderly can master the technique of scrambling eggs within the shell by spinning the device for at least thirty seconds per egg. Also, because the device is designed to spin the egg in place, the eggs almost never break.

I guess if you like “golden” hard-boiled eggs that are difficult to peel and you want to get an upper-body work out, perhaps you might enjoy this unitasker.

As for me, I’ll be over in the corner separating whites from yolks so I can enjoy some devilled eggs, a favourite holiday party food.

Thanks to reader Bridget for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

Unitasker Wednesday: Inflatable Cow Skull

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This past summer we moved from England to Texas. Since we arrived I have been wondering how to tailor our décor to better adapt to our local environment. At long last, I have found what I (don’t) need – a wall-mounted, inflatable cow skull.

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With the soft plastic construction and realistic photo print no one will ever know we’re not native Texans! The bonus part? When we move back to Canada in three years, we just deflate the skull and roll it up. No special packing foam or boxes required!

However, I probably won’t take the cow skull back to Canada. I’ll order the wall-mounted, inflatable moose head – much more suited to a northern climate.

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Unitasker Wednesday: Handerpants

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Are your hands cold inside the house but you don’t want to wear your outdoor gloves? Then you need Handerpants!

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Handerpants are fingerless gloves resembling men’s underwear. Made from a cotton/spandex blend, they will stretch to fit most hands. In the winter you can wear them underneath normal gloves – underwear for your hands!

Handerpants are marketed as having “hundreds of uses” but I can’t see this product being any more useful than regular fingerless gloves – except to add more clutter to your closet.

Unitasker Wednesday: Finger stand support rests

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

While working on last week’s unitasker post I came across another unitasker — Finger Stand Support Rests.
1610_unitasker_fingerholdersThis is a set of five hard plastic stands on which to put your fingers when you’re painting your fingernails. The stands are not attached to each other so you’ll have five little things cluttering up your cosmetics bag/drawer.

When painting your nails, the finger stands must be perfectly spaced to support all of your fingers. If your hands are small, you’ll have to stretch because the bases of the supports need to be wide enough to stop the stands from wobbling. I can’t imagine that they are comfortable being made of hard plastic.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to use a rolled up towel under your fingers? A towel would be much softer and you could cover it with a napkin or tissue to absorb any nail polish spills.