All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
I bet if Unclutterer readers need an ice cube, they reach into their freezer or maybe they have ice cube makers built into their refrigerators. I imagine that if they are throwing a party, they run out to the nearest convenience store and buy a 10-pound bag of ice cubes for about two dollars. (For those that are interested, a 10-pound bag of ice contains about 160 cubes so that works out to about one penny per cube).
But what if you want to enjoy a shot of high-quality Scotch — on the rocks? Would you use ice cubes that only cost a penny?
Of course not! You would purchase Gläce Ice.
Made from purified water, these meticulously crafted, individually carved ice cubes and spheres do not contain minerals, additives, or pollutants that may taint the flavour of high-quality drinks. It is just pure, unadulterated water that will dilute your top shelf spirits.
These marvellously sculpted pieces of ice can be shipped right to your door by the case load. Packed in dry ice, you can get 50 Gläce Ice cubes or spheres (or a combination), for a mere $325 USD. That’s only $6.50 per piece! And, they come in a re-sealable vacuum pouch with a one-way air valve to protect the Gläce Ice from absorbing odours from your freezer.
I suppose you could make your own ice cubes and spheres. You would need a countertop distilling machine to make your own distilled water (less than $100) as well as silicone ice cube trays that will make round and cube shaped pieces of ice (and a host of other frozen treats) for about $15.
But that is a lot of clutter that sits in your kitchen making ice cubes year after year. Instead, you can unclutter by joining the Tudor Luxury Ice Club and have Gläce Ice shipped to your door on a regular basis all for the low cost of $1100 USD per year.
For those of you who do NOT like your single malts diluted with water of any type, the website Cool Material evaluated whisky stones to see which ones cooled Scotch the best without changing the flavour. The winner was Balls of Steel. Minimalist styling, effective drink cooling, all for about $30 USD — and a portion of all sales is donated to testicular cancer cure research.