Unitasker Wednesday: Canadian Breath Spray

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

G’day eh? I sees this ‘ere product, Canadian Breath Spray, and I wonders if it’ll make anyone sound Canadian if they use it, eh? Lard tunderin’ if it did b’y we’d have youse all pronouncing Newfoundland (noo-fn-LAND) correctly.

I’d bet you a Loonie or a Toonie that you’d be drinking double-doubles at Timmies while wearing toques. Of course, you could stay at the cottage and mix your mickey with pop while sitting on the chesterfield eating ketchup chips.

We know the keeners will give’er by calling the last letter of the alphabet ZED. Any Americans using this product will put the letter U in words like favour, colour, and labour while the British will have to spell words like organize, patronize, and itemize with a Z not an S.

Nous avons deux langues officielles au Canada. C’est possible, en utilisant ce produit vous parlerez français.

There is no need to put on your runners and queue up for this product. It doesn’t really work — SORRY!

5 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Canadian Breath Spray”

  1. posted by KB Earle on

    Well, your fake ad really does work, albeit not for the stated purpose, because you made me smile! Thank you!

  2. posted by W on

    That was EXCELLENT 😀
    Thanks for the laugh.
    A fellow Canuck.

  3. posted by Lily on

    That’s very funny. We Canucks can always laugh at ourselves eh!

  4. posted by CD on

    What does “Canadian” breath smell like anyway?
    Am I missing out on something?

  5. posted by Melissa on

    Check out the Amazon comments for this stuff, they are hilarious!

Comments are closed.