Unitasker Wednesday: Aquasonic Wave Jewelry Cleaning System

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

My grandmother and mother both worked for years in jewelry stores. My husband’s uncle and his three sons and their wives own a chain of jewelry stores and are professional jewelry designers. And let me tell you what none of these people would recommend for ways to clean your jewelry: putting it in the dishwasher. Although it may work, there are certainly safer and less expensive ways to get your jewelry cleaned than by using the Aquasonic Wave Jewelry Cleaning System:

The idea of putting jewelry in the dishwasher completely terrifies me. If anything were to happen, your favorite necklace or ring could easily fit right down the drain! Ack!

And at $54, this device is more expensive than many sonic professional jewelry cleaning units and pretty much every at home cleaning method that is safer. The device also comes with a 10-week supply of a proprietary antibacterial gel that you then get to order replacement packs for so the price of the device keeps going up.

I’m going to be stressed out the rest of the day just thinking about this.

3 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Aquasonic Wave Jewelry Cleaning System”

  1. posted by Joe Montanari on

    I would be very reticent to put fine jewelry in the dishwasher for a variety of reasons. First of all, stones frequently come loose in the cleaning process, regardless of the method used. If there are openings in the device for the water and detergent to pass through, then I wonder if the openings are large enough for small stones to escape down the drain. The high temperatures and rough agitation, and harsh chemicals are also hazardous to pearls, lapis, amber, turquoise, emeralds, and a number of other jewelry materials, not to mention erosion of the cements that join jewelry components. I advise our customers to use a safe traditional cleaning product, such as Hagerty’s or Connoisseur’s at home, and to visit a professional jeweler from time to time. The jeweler can not only clean the customer’s jewelry, but also polish it, restore the rhodium finish on white gold, check the settings to make sure the stones are secure, and tighten the settings if necessary.

  2. posted by Joe Montanari on

    I would be very reticent to put fine jewelry in the dishwasher for a variety of reasons. First of all, stones frequently come loose in the cleaning process, regardless of the method used. If there are openings in the device for the water and detergent to pass through, then I wonder if the openings are large enough for small stones to escape down the drain. The high temperatures and rough agitation, and harsh chemicals are also hazardous to pearls, lapis, amber, turquoise, emeralds, and a number of other jewelry materials, not to mention erosion of the cements that join jewelry components. I advise our customers to use a safe traditional cleaning product, such as Hagerty’s or Connoisseur’s at home, and to visit a professional jeweler from time to time. The jeweler can not only clean the customer’s jewelry, but also polish it, restore the rhodium finish on white gold, check the settings to make sure the stones are secure, and tighten the settings if necessary.

  3. posted by SkiptheBS on

    Soft toothbrush and baby shampoo.

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