Unclutterer’s 2015 Holiday Gift Giving Guide: A gift not to give

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes, including this special gift edition — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Are you eager to be arrested? Been considering ways to destroy the livers and kidneys of those you give gifts to? Well, if breaking the law and your loved ones’ bodies sounds like you, I have the perfect unitasker for you! This holiday season, you can give the gift of moonshine with your very own tabletop Moonshine Still:

Nothing says “happy holidays” quite the same way as blindness caused by bootlegged hooch. Sure, there are faster ways to kill off your friends and family, but none will be quite as much fun as doing it with white lightning you made at home.

The tabletop size of this distillery also makes it convenient for those of you who live in cramped studio apartments! Now THAT’S convenience. And, all for the low, low price of $250!

Sadly, the hot plate in the image above is not included with this still, so you’ll have to order that separately for an extra $60. But, once the still and hot plate are delivered, you’ll be in business breaking the law and making booze.

If you’re looking for real uncluttered and organized gift inspiration, feel welcome to check out our past Guides: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014.

3 Comments for “Unclutterer’s 2015 Holiday Gift Giving Guide: A gift not to give”

  1. posted by Robin on

    Hmmm, well OWNING it isn’t illegal and as long as you only distill water or oil, it’s not illegal to use it (Federally anyway). It actually could be a pretty cool gift for a DIY oil enthusiast (and as I know someone who spends literally hundreds of dollars a month on essential oils, this might save her a boatload of money)! Of course it’s so small, it would only make drops but still… har-de-har.

  2. posted by skiptheBS on

    I’ve been told that our local ‘shiner delivers, but giving up alcohol was the best decluttering I ever did.
    This would be a great gift to a flower gardener who is interested in creating perfumes. Flower oils have to be distilled.

  3. posted by Happy Mum on

    Wow, interesting! Am I the only one who had no idea that distilling spirits is illegal in the US? Maybe it’s my Oklahoma roots?? — (heard a lot about moonshine growing up, from my parents and grandparents) — I sort of vaguely thought the ban on moonshine went out when Prohibition did…
    Unclutterer is so informative, in so many ways!

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