Unitasker Wednesday: Scallion cutter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

If you are reading this post, my assumption is you own a kitchen knife. And if you own a decent kitchen knife (decent=not falling apart, sharp), you don’t have a need for this doozie of a unitasker. The scallion cutter:

In case it isn’t obvious, the purpose of the scallion cutter is to cut up scallions to use in food or as garnishes for food. Scallions, and only scallions.

Ooooof. Instead of lamenting yet another knife replacement, please enjoy this educational YouTube video containing instructions for how to use a knife to cut scallions six different ways:

9 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Scallion cutter”

  1. posted by Tournevis on

    Unless you are Vietnamese or Thai, there is no reason in the world to own one of those.

  2. posted by Leslie on

    I have one. It was a requirement for a cooking class. It works well, but yea, it doesn’t get used much.

  3. posted by Nana on

    I find it easiest to use scissors

  4. posted by Heidi on

    I just use my kitchen shears when on the very rare occasion I have scallions.

  5. posted by Audrey on

    I bought one of those to cut pickles. So now, it’s a “twotasker” 😀

  6. posted by Alison on

    I always keep a pair of scissors on the magnetic knife rack. Open up stubborn plastic food packages and cut up not only scallions/green onions but chives as well. Saves having to use a cutting board.

  7. posted by Anthony @ LAGC on

    I suppose this would be handy if you eat a LOT of green onions. You might also be able to fend off an attacker (green onion thief?) with it, although a knife would be better suited for that task as well.

  8. posted by Erin Doland on

    Kitchen shears are such a great idea for this!! I’m going to do that now. You all are geniuses!

  9. posted by Oraxia on

    I saw Anthony @ LAGC’s comment about fending off an attacker and couldn’t help thinking, “ah, so it would double as a rapscallion cutter, too…” XD (I slay me.)

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