Unitasker Wednesday: Butter Mill

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker is straight-up confusing. I genuinely have no idea why someone would have a use for the Butter Mill:

Is milled butter a desirable thing? What does milled butter do that other butter doesn’t do? I don’t get it since you have to dirty a knife to cut the butter off the mill. Couldn’t you just scrape a knife along the top of a stick of butter and do pretty much the same thing as using a mill? Or run a stick of butter across a cheese grater? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

It also seems to be a very messy process to push butter through a mill. The minute the butter reaches room temperature, this has to be a squishy disaster.

Honestly, a butter mill makes butter cutters seem less like the unitaskers they are.

Thanks to reader Laura for introducing us to this mess of a unitasker!

12 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Butter Mill”

  1. posted by Jenny on

    I have no use for this thing, but I can see the purpose. I think it is for people who keep their butter in the fridge, but want to be able to spread it more easily on toast. The ‘milled’ butter has much more surface area, so will soften to spreadable much faster than a solid piece. It also looks like you could just store your butter in it in the fridge, so it wouldn’t need to be cleaned after each use.

    You could use a grater, or even better, a microplane, but that would need to washed each time, and then you’d need a separate container for the butter.

  2. posted by infmom on

    Oh, I dunno. We might have found a use for it when I was a kid. My dad was absolutely adamant on the subject of butter: It had to be kept in the coldest part of the refrigerator at all times (except when someone was trying to chip a rock hard piece off the stick). He insisted that the butter would “go rancid” otherwise.

    Meanwhile my friends’ parents were leaving the butter dish on the counter and my friends were not shredding up every single piece of toast they tried to spread butter on. And I never heard one complaint about rancid butter.

    In my house we leave the butter dish on the counter except on very hot days, and when the house cools off in the evening we take the butter dish out of the fridge and put it on the counter so we’ll have nice spreadable butter in the morning.

    Been doing this ever since I left home 40+ years ago and I have no idea what rancid butter looks or smells like.

  3. posted by mtnest on

    I hear the voice of my mother every time I go to use our butter which sits out on the counter. “Dairy belongs in the fridge!”. I have been leaving salted butter on the counter in a covered butter dish for years now and have never had a problem with rancid butter either, infmom. Refrigerated butter is useless for toast. My mom would most definitely buy this weeks unitasker for us if she saw it!

  4. posted by Erin C on

    I would actually use this. It’s a place to keep butter other than a dish and I do keep it in the fridge.

  5. posted by MBS on

    Looks like this device would not only allow you to keep butter safe and cold in the fridge, but also help you to use less butter, saving both calories and money. At first milled butter sounds like a ridiculous idea. But have you actually tried it? I haven’t, but would consider trying…

  6. posted by Cat B on

    why, why, WHY??!!!! 🙂

  7. posted by Anne on

    Actually I want one. You can just store the butter in it and leave it in this unitasker in the coldest part of the fridge, the taste of the butter is great then. People are more or less sensitive to the taste of butter. Butter left outside always, tastes ok, but nothing beats the taste of in when it s just been opened and comes from the fridge. It then works extremely well on toasts, rather than trying to scrape, failing, and leaving half the butter on fingers or on the counter. If used as the butter container for the fridge (hopefully it has a lid as butter kept in a closed container keeps it good taste for quite as long) then I think it s a cool idea. All, of course, if you are able to feel rancidity – a lot of people I have lived with do not – in which case leave butter outside and don’t bother with this!

  8. posted by G. on

    I’ve thought about getting one. Yes, you can use a hand held shredder, but this is nice as you don’t have to hold the butter with your hands, it keeps you from shredding your pre-coffee knuckles (or kids’ knuckles), and stores the butter as well. As others commented already, the shreds soften up faster and are easier to spread than the little, or not-so-little, slabs you try to slice off the stick. I have a butter bell, but got tired of changing water every day, and the butter was actually too soft. I wonder if the shredder would work with Parmesan cheese also?

    And rancid butter is not something you want to try, although if you leave a stick out at a time and it goes rancid, you’re not using it enough 🙂 or live somewhere hot with no air conditioning.

  9. posted by jc on

    This is why they have butter bells (yes, I know, a unitasker). The butter stays fresh and spreadable.

  10. posted by Margaret on

    I like this unitasker. I have a French butter keeper, also a unitasker, which allows me to keep butter at room temperature, but protected from the air by water. The butter keeper works well when I have guests staying over, but for most of the year, I live alone and use butter very infrequently, and remembering to change the water in the butter keeper is a challenge.

  11. posted by Ted on

    This would work if you do a lot of baking. When the recipe calls for “dotting” the top with butter, I put a stick in the freezer for a half hour, then grate it over the top of the dish. This would allow me to skip the freeze part and then having to wash the grater.

  12. posted by Pat Reble on

    Thinking this is another knife replacement…

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