All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
After more than eight years of writing unitasker posts for Unclutterer (close to 400 featured products), I think it might be time to create a word or phrase specifically for unitaskers that are poor substitutes for knives (like knife-nots or uni-cutters or something along those lines). Because I sincerely believe that half the unitaskers we feature fall into this category.
This week’s unitasker, as I’m sure you’ve already concluded, is a clutter-blade. The Melon Slicer is a ridiculously large device that does what a chef’s knife or serrated knife do extremely well:
The Melon Slicer is about a foot in diameter, so it takes up a massive amount of storage space in your kitchen or pantry. Also, it has 12 blades on it — which is like having 12 knives in your drawer, eager to rip up your hand each time you want to retrieve something. And, as previously mentioned, it does exactly the same thing as a knife you already own.
It also requires that you have a watermelon that will be smaller than the device and that the watermelon is shaped like a basketball. Yes, those watermelons exist, but they’re hardly the standard.
Thanks to reader Monique for finding this enormous uni-knifer!