Unitasker Wednesday: Melon Slicer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

After more than eight years of writing unitasker posts for Unclutterer (close to 400 featured products), I think it might be time to create a word or phrase specifically for unitaskers that are poor substitutes for knives (like knife-nots or uni-cutters or something along those lines). Because I sincerely believe that half the unitaskers we feature fall into this category.

This week’s unitasker, as I’m sure you’ve already concluded, is a clutter-blade. The Melon Slicer is a ridiculously large device that does what a chef’s knife or serrated knife do extremely well:

The Melon Slicer is about a foot in diameter, so it takes up a massive amount of storage space in your kitchen or pantry. Also, it has 12 blades on it — which is like having 12 knives in your drawer, eager to rip up your hand each time you want to retrieve something. And, as previously mentioned, it does exactly the same thing as a knife you already own.

It also requires that you have a watermelon that will be smaller than the device and that the watermelon is shaped like a basketball. Yes, those watermelons exist, but they’re hardly the standard.

Thanks to reader Monique for finding this enormous uni-knifer!

8 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Melon Slicer”

  1. posted by Deb on

    Why does it cut out a core? It’s not as if watermelons have one.

  2. posted by CanadianKate on

    Maybe it isn’t a unit tasker – maybe you can use it on pineapple as well.

    (To be honest, I had a pineapple corer and it didn’t works all that well, not sharp enough. Plus you first had to use a knife to cut off the top and bottom!)

  3. posted by Andy Chow on

    I like the one made for apples, because I’m lazy and it’s quick way to core. However, it breaks too easily. Looking at the reviewers for this product, the same problem appears, it’s hard to use, the handles break and the blades deform.

    The link you provided suggests other melon slicers, one with a list price of only 390$.

  4. posted by Cathy Szabo on

    Actually, the watermelon slicer works very well. My daughter has one. There is a core part because the section blades need a base to attach to. You can cut the center core up and eat as bites, (it is the very best part of the watermelon). The watermelon slicer takes only a minute to slice a watermelon, where as using a large knife would take much more time. If you love watermelon and eat a lot of it, this device is very worthwhile.

  5. posted by Christine in Australia on

    I’ve seen similar things advertised in Australia. Apparently you can use them to slice up any melon. Or pineapple. Or cake!

    I can sort of see the benefit of being able to slice equal slices in one go. But all I can see is 12 knife blades to clean, not one. Any savings in time from cutting would almost certainly be lost cleaning this thing. And I doubt it’s easy to sharpen, too.

  6. posted by koalabelle on

    We would have needed one twice as big to cut up the watermelon we had tonight. And apparently will have for several nights to come, even after sharing with a neighbor.

  7. posted by Ginny on

    Saw these at the store the other day and had to laugh.. Even if they work, they would be silly to store in a small place like ours. We’ve found that a butcher knife works better than a chef’s knife for hard-rinded things. The one we have is nice and thick, so it almost wedges itself through melons and squashes. Our chef’s knife is a thinner Japanese style so they don’t overlap purposes. Add a bread knife and a paring knife, and we are set for all possible kitchen messes.

  8. posted by bibkel on

    I actually am really glad I purchased the mango one. I hate cutting those, and the slicer thingy makes the seed stand alone. I give the two halves to my daughters and escape with what is left on the seed…like a crazed gollum type seed hoarder.

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