Unitasker Wednesday: Roll N Pour

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

My children probably have no idea what gallon milk containers look like because I don’t buy gallon milk containers. The kids can’t lift and pour a gallon yet, so I get 1/2 gallons that the oldest one can manipulate and the younger one eventually will. When we do make the switch to gallon containers, however, I can guarantee we won’t also be purchasing the Roll N Pour:

In the words of Skippyjon Jones, “Holy frijoles!” This plastic rocking chair for your gallon milk jugs is enormous! The product description says it’s “great for kids and seniors” but I don’t understand how — there is no way my 5 year old son or my husband’s 99 year old grandfather could even get this device AND the attached gallon container out of the refrigerator. Putting it back into the refrigerator would be just as disastrous. It adds weight and girth to the milk container, making it heavier and more cumbersome. And no one with limited or developing mobility needs or wants “heavier and more cumbersome.”

Okay, I’ll admit, there is something adorable about a gallon of milk rocking away the hours in the refrigerator. I imagine it would take up knitting and ask me to keep quiet during its stories. But, for the itty bitty amount of help it might give someone with pouring, those benefits would quickly be erased by the amount of storage space you’d have to sacrifice in your refrigerator and in the process of having to carry it in and out of the refrigerator every time you wanted a drink.

If handling large gallon containers is an issue for you or your family, do what we do and simply buy smaller, easier to carry and pour containers (which you’re likely already doing). Or, buy the larger container and have or provide assistance in pouring some of its contents into a more manageable small carafe. If handling gallon containers isn’t an issue for you or anyone in your family, this device is just downright ridiculous. I think we can chalk the Roll N Pour’s unitasker status up to over-engineering that intended to be helpful, but isn’t.

5 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Roll N Pour”

  1. posted by Michelle on

    Could be ok if you worked at a senior center/ day care that served snacks or meals, but a cooler with a spout on the bottom like sports teams use would probably be cheaper long term & more versatile. I could see my kids making a huge mess trying to see how hard they could rock it.
    Also could speed up the serving of drinks at a church picnic instead of everyone having to pick up the jug & take off the cap & pour & put the cap back on. Why do they always put the cap back on when someone is standing behind them waiting for them to finish putting the cap back on so that they can take it back off while holding 2 plates in their other hand. Maybe this would befuddle people into forgetting the cap.

  2. posted by JC on

    Another solution is to put the receiving cup/bowl close to the edge of the table/counter when pouting. This allows the “spout” to be closer to the cup while keeping the tipping angle to a minimum. Our family buys half gallon containers as the contents are less prone to spoil because they are used up faster than a gallon size.

  3. posted by Haggie on

    I need this for making screwdrivers on mornings when I’m really hungover…

  4. posted by Josh on

    Well now, putting the whole thing in the fridge would just be ridiculous. It would need some push in spikes to grip so the jug would stay in first. 🙂

  5. posted by Marie on

    Whoever comes up with these things just doesn’t have enough to do.

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