Unitasker Wednesday: BootSwag

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

ARB is a chain of stores in Australia that makes accessories specifically for 4X4 trucks. As opposed to most 4X4 owners in the US, it appears 4X4 owners in Australia occasionally take theirs off road. (Who knew?!)

One of the things ARB manufactures is tents that attach to 4X4s (by extending off the truck bed or the trunk or on the roof or in some other awesome manner) and regular ground tents for hikers who drive exciting places off road. But, lo! Their tenting doesn’t stop there! They also make a special cutie patootie itty bitty tent just for your boots. The ARB BootSwag:

We really aren’t pulling your leg with this. It is a real, genuine product. According to their website, “the ARB BootSwag provides a sheltered enclosure for storage of footwear and other items.”

Now, I would assume that one’s tent or enormous 4X4 would also provide this kind of shoe storage … but, apparently not?? I’d also think a large zip-top bag could do the same thing and keep snakes and spiders (or whatever deadly critters roam the Outback) out of one’s boots (this does not, as the bottom flap doesn’t close). But, what do I know? I drive an all-wheel vehicle and the only “off roading” I’ve ever done is in a busy Target parking lot after a big snow. And the closest I’ve come to camping in the last two decades was in a cabin with central air.

Thanks to reader Richelle for introducing us to this fun unitasker.

12 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: BootSwag”

  1. posted by Emme on

    Having stayed in the outback on a cattle ranch… I wouldn’t have minded the existence of a separate tent for my boots. I would have appreciated a tent for myself come to think of it. If you are sleeping in a sleeping bag (that completely zips around) out under the stars it would be a nicer option to have a separate enclosure for your boots that is not underneath you to keep the bugs out. It would also come in handy if you had been hiking and stepped in something not pleasant smelling along the way. I’m sure a sealable bag would work as well, but might cause issues with fungus growth due to moisture.

  2. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Emme — Since this thing doesn’t keep out the bugs, it would be the exact same thing as just setting your boots at the foot of your sleeping bag away from your nose. There’s no added advantage to it except that it’s super cute. I think the ideal thing to do would just be to carry some newspaper with you (great for starting fires) and crumple that up and stuff it into your boots at night. Would keep out most bugs and definitely large critters, and you could just burn it while making breakfast your last day of camping. And, super cool that you slept outdoors in the Outback! Sounds like a great opportunity for people who like nature and places not-indoors 🙂

  3. posted by Michelle on

    Gotta get one of these for daughter’s Barbie Dolls & son’s GI Joe’s

  4. posted by JD on

    At first glance, I thought I was seeing two tents from a long view– that both tents were full-sized but the perspective made one of them look small, and I wondered why they would be set up that way. Then I realized it’s one full-sized and one tiny sized tent. What the…? I thought to myself. But of course! It’s a tent for my boots! One that will allow bugs and water to creep in under the flap! And check out this fellow’s boots. They are spotless. Is there a problem with having them in his real tent? Foot odor? Fear of boots attacking in the night? Okay, I’m in the American Southeast, and what I see is a tent for a rattlesnake to get in and cozy up with my boots, or a handy way for the raccoons to locate and remove my shoes from the camp site. I would never even know they had been there until morning.

  5. posted by Tiara on

    We camp a lot as a family and with the Girl Scouts – 3-4 times a year. We have a strict rule that no shoes are allowed in the tent (kids’ shoes are never that clean when camping). But we have a tarp at the door of the tent and always put the “fly” (the cover to keep out rain) up. This shelters the shoes from the weather for the most part. And we always put the shoes upside down. We don’t live anywhere where snakes, scorpions, etc. are a problem, so it has never been a problem.

    I like the newspaper idea, though! It would help dry out any wet shoes, help with odor, and keep the critters out.

  6. posted by Anna on

    When camping I have always put my boots at the head of my sleeping bag to house my glasses safely and keep them within reach. (Boots = multitasker!!)

  7. posted by Monique in TX on

    It *might* keep dew off the boots, but how big a problem is that in the Outback? No, I agree with the poster who says it’s for Barbie dolls. That, or the cat.

  8. posted by Pat Reble on

    As someone who lives in Australia I am relieved to see that creating Unitaskers is an equal opportunity folly. Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!

  9. posted by Laetitia on

    Monique – dew and rain do fall in the Outback – dew is more likely to form when there is little water vapour in the upper atmosphere (which is why it’s more likely to be seen on the grass in winter than summer, in places with dry winters and humid summers). Also, don’t believe all the pictures you see of dry and dusty plains as our non-urban areas are not all like that (and even the ones that are, are generally not like that all the time).

    However, I have no idea who would buy this as I suspect that the drovers etc. who camp (rather than tourists travelling around in caravans and camper trailers) would use something more sensible, practical and useful than another pseudo-tent (that requires time spent on putting it up) like this. And those in caravans would put their shoes inside or under the tarp / extension outside, not set up a dinky tent just for their shoes. After all, who wants to protect their shoes from dew only to find that the spiders, scorpions and snakes have appreciated that nice, dry spot in and around their shoes! 😮

    I agree it might work for dolls; I wouldn’t trust a cat in it – it might be in shreds by morning.

  10. posted by Her from There on

    As a born and bred West Aussie, let me tell you our summers are hot – darn hot! The outback would be hotter. The last thing you want in your tent would be stinky stinky dusty shoes (that red stuff sticks to everything). Actually the last thing I would ever want in a tent is myself, since I don’t sleep anywhere that isn’t airconditioned and doesn’t have a toilet, but if I did, I wouldn’t want my shoes in there with me. As for our bugs and their large, hairy and mostly poisonous friends, you just stretch a knee high stocking over the top and nothing gets in bar air. As for the rain, why would you go out there if you thought it was going to rain? Doesn’t happen a lot here anyway!

    It is a shame my sons don’t play with their army men any more though coz this really would be a great base for them!

  11. posted by Acacia on

    Sweet boot tent!!!

  12. posted by sarah on

    I think my favorite part of that photo is of the so obviouslynothikingboots boots that are completely ridiculous in that environment.

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