All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Did you read The Dark Materials series of books? I ask because this week’s unitasker instantly made me think of those books. If you didn’t read the series, there is a group of people in it called the Tartars and they’re into drilling holes into people’s skulls. (Doing so lets in “dust,” which is part of the plot and very disturbing.) Now that you’re well versed in the Tartars and their obsession with trepanation, you see the connection between the unitasker and the story, too, I bet. HOW COULD YOU NOT?!! The Garnish Ribbon Curl Cutter:
This device is crazy scary. I know it says it’s for ribbon curling carrots, but that is not what it looks like it is used for. This thing is a weapon! How is it even sold on Amazon?! If my parents would have had one of these growing up, I never would have gone into the kitchen. It’s terrifying.
MAYBE a fancy restaurant would have need for something like this, but they would need to keep it under lock and key for obvious reasons. This may just be the scariest looking unitasker we’ve ever featured.
Whatever you do, don’t let any kids see this post. Gah!