All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Although I don’t own a food processor, I can see why people do. With all the various blade attachments, they can do everything from finely chopping nuts to creating julienne and ribbon cut vegetables to mixing pie doughs. They grate cheese and mix dry ingredients superbly. Most of my friends use theirs to make fresh and fancy baby foods and curly fries for their kids. I’ve even seen models that have blender attachments. Food processors are great multitasking appliances if you have the space for them in your kitchen.
What is not a great multitasking appliance is this week’s unitasker selection, The Spiralizer:
The Spiralizer is for all those times you only want to cut your vegetables into neat looking ribbons. Which, unless you have some kind of specialty restaurant that exclusively serves ribbon-cut vegetables, I assume would be pretty rarely used in the average home. But, let’s say your kid will only eat ribbon-cut vegetables for some reason (mine only eats carrots that are julienned, so I get it), for the amount of space it takes up, I’d just get a food processor that ribbon-cuts vegetables and also does so many more things — this single-purpose device is enormous:
(In comparison, the Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device unitasker looks downright tiny.)
I like the name, though: The Spiralizer. It sounds like a futuristic or alien weapon. Marvin the Martian would most certainly have a Spiralizer!