All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
I have been in some disgusting public bathrooms in my lifetime. I’ve seen things I can’t unsee. I’ve smelled things I can’t unsmell. But, I’ll spare you any further details because, you know, this is a family-friendly website after all. Just believe me when I say there are some truly horrific bathrooms out in our world.
Even though I’ve been to the worst of the worst, there is still no way I would buy an enormous disposable blanket to drape over a toilet to “protect” me from germs, such as the PottyCover:
For starters, these toilet covers are a dollar a piece, which seems like a lot for something you’re going to throw away after a single use. Seeing as how large they are, though, I guess you’re getting your money’s worth for the materials?
Secondly, putting these covers on a toilet (and removing them afterward) requires extensive use of one’s hands. And, as we all know from basic biology, your hands are significantly more likely to spread and contract germs than your tushy is. Since you’re probably not going to wash your hands after installing this gigantic potty cover, you’re going to touch this cover and some toilet paper with germ-infested hands. Whereas, if you didn’t put this cover on the toilet, your hands would be more clean than if you had. (Not a lot more clean, but a little. Keep reading.)
Finally, study after study has been conducted showing that the average toilet paper dispenser has significantly more germs on it than the toilet seat. In fact, toilet seats are often the least bacteria-infested locations in a public restroom. As long as no one wiped the toilet seat down with dollar bills (one of the most bacteria-infested items you usually touch in a normal day), you’re statistically fine just sitting straight on the seat. A toilet seat is relatively germ free. I trust the MythBusters on this. (And for those of you who are squeamish about germs, know that your computer keyboard has far more bacterial colonies on it than a toilet seat. You’re welcome.)
As far as these ridiculously sized PottyCovers are concerned, it’s best to save your money and just wash your hands.