Unitasker Wednesday: USB Foot Warmer Slippers

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Today’s unitasker selection fits nicely into the “this is an incredibly bad idea” category. At first glance, it might not seem that awful. They’re just an innocent pair of fluffy looking USB Foot Warmer Slippers:

Kissing piggies!

Then, you realize having something on your feet that is attached to your computer is a horrid idea. It’s one thing to absentmindedly walk away from your computer and have earphones yanked out of your ears. It’s a completely different situation when you walk off wearing a pair of slippers attached to your computer. I give your machine about a week before you destroy it. Okay, two days.

Plus, let’s all agree the USB ports on your computer should be used for productive devices like monitors and scanners and back-up hard drives. Let’s leave warming up our feet to socks and non-USB-powered slippers or those heat-pack things.

9 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: USB Foot Warmer Slippers”

  1. posted by ET on

    LOL Erin! These are hysterical. I can’t stop laughing when I picture a laptop crashing to the floor as one hops up to answer the door forgetting that their feet are “tethered” to the computer.

  2. posted by ottawa on

    Note that the slippers are tethered to each other, and one is tethered to the computer. That means you can’t move your feet far or cross your ankles or legs. And you can only shuffle along, until, of course, the computer comes crashing down behind you.

  3. posted by Malvika on

    Hahahaha! This is a hysterically terrible idea. The slippers are SO cute, but I just know I’d be the one who knocks over their laptop because they forget their USB is plugged in ..

  4. posted by infmom on

    I was given a USB salt crystal lamp for Christmas. It’s supposed to “emit negative ions” when warmed.

    I must admit the color changing internal light is pleasant enough, but the “negative ions” are supposed to be “emitted” when the crystal is warmed. Which ain’t gonna happen with LED lights in the base. FAIL!


  5. posted by Erin Doland on

    @infmom — RIOTOUS! Maybe I’ll use that for next week!

  6. posted by Anna on

    My computer would die of embarrassment to be reduced to such a demeaning use. It was made for better stuff.

    I don’t want my computer to die.

  7. posted by Katy on

    I first saw this and thought it was a GREAT idea! I work in an office that is basically a cold damp cave and my feet are always freezing! This would be awesome under my desk… I couldn’t walk away cuz I need shoes to walk anywhere in the office… So, thanks for sharing the Joke!! It could prove a helpful solution to a cave dweller like me. But seriously – hand warmers in the slippers would probably work better!! Thanks for sharing!

  8. posted by AnneinColo on

    I use one of the back-warmer size heating pads on the floor in front of my chair. Not attached to my computer or feet and also not generating waste.

  9. posted by Ashley Thompson on

    It’s disappointing to see these sometimes because the judgements and criticisms you list in this post, and in past ones I’ve seen, while I know you mean to be humourous, are culturally ignorant and ethnocentric. Something like this is common in Japan where people sit at desks for long periods of time (at work, at home studying, etc.) and in general, most homes don’t have central heating or insulation so it’s extremely cold indoors. These are the types of things people use to keep warm (like a lap blanket, or personal heater, etc.) They aren’t necessarily meant to be used to walk around (obviously not while plugged in), at least when you consider it in light of a Japanese perspective. Some Japanese people would probably agree they are pointless, but not everyone would.

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