All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
At last count, a billion* people had emailed us recommending we feature the Egg Minder Internet Connected Egg Tray:
For the rare few of you who did not email us about this device and have not seen it before, let me give you a quick rundown of its absurdity:
It’s a tray — for $99 — that tracks when you place eggs into it, how many eggs it is holding, and then tells an app on your smartphone this data.
So, if you’re having a conversation with your boss at work and she asks you if you currently have fresh eggs in your refrigerator, you’ll know the answer immediately.
If you’re being tortured and what stands between you and death is knowing how many eggs you have in your refrigerator, you’ll get to live.**
If you want to egg that politician you don’t like***, you can check an app on your phone to know if your eggs are rotten and will be stinky when you throw them at him.
If you’re in a bar and looking to meet a “special friend” for a single night of romance, you’ll know while you’re still getting boozy if you can also make the person breakfast in the morning.****
Seriously, dear readers, I have no idea how anyone could accidentally over buy $99 worth of eggs and have them go rancid while this technology is still supported. I think it would take a person about 40+ years of routinely buying eggs and then not eating them to waste $99 on eggs. And there is no way current smartphones and this tray will be operating 40 years from now.
Something is wrong with the Manufacturing industry. It may be time for an intervention, as I’m pretty sure Manufacturing is drunk. Drunk is the ONLY explanation for this product.
*Number may be a slight exaggeration.
**Unless you are someone in Bryan Mills’ family, this likely will not happen to you.
***Unclutterer does not endorse egging politicians.
****Unclutterer has every reason to assume that showing a person your Egg Minder app will actually reduce your chances of going home with that person.