Unitasker Wednesday: Breakfast Sandwich Maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker is one of the more convoluted contraptions we’ve ever featured. In short, this clunky small appliance cooks eggs into a round shape so they fit nicely onto an English muffin. But, looking at it, you would certainly assume it does way more than cook round eggs. Check it out, the Breakfast Sandwich Maker:

Are you confused by it, too? Maybe watching the video will help:

It cooks eggs. You do all the additional assembly and cut (and cook) all your meat and cheese and carbs to fit the exact size of the device. I will say I am blown away by whomever made the pancakes the exact size of an English muffin — that takes talent. My pancakes are always wonky and blob-like.

Or, I GUESS, instead of buying this device you could just use a frying pan you already own and an egg ring that can be used for other things beyond breakfast sandwiches and is super easy to store. (That egg ring is also awesome at making perfectly round pancakes, useful for blob-making pancake folks like me.)

Thank you, reader Erica, for sharing this over-engineered small appliance with us.

9 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Breakfast Sandwich Maker”

  1. posted by Mari Lwyd on

    Buwahahaha! How absolutely useless and ridiculous.

    Anyone else notice that the video intro card at 0:02 “Say Good Morning to the new Hamilton Beach” looks almost exactly like the Oscar Meyer logo. They swiped the tilt, font, and colors. Subliminal messaging, perhaps?

  2. posted by Mike Hathaway on

    Whats sad is… I think I want one. If it works at the same speed as my kerug It could help the morning routine….

    (hangs head in shame)

  3. posted by Nana on

    Shortly after I married, someone gave me a small frying pan. Perfect for one egg (or one pancake…although I’ve never done that). After almost 50 years, I still have the pan and still make my weekly egg in it, while putting my english muffin through the toaster.

  4. posted by Brenda on

    While I tend to want to minimize the amount of “stuff” I have, I submitted to the purchase of said item above because my husband wanted it. Ironically, it’s pretty great and takes me seconds to throw an english muffin, egg, and ham in…it’s done and ready after I’ve made my coffee and fed my dog.

    (hangs head in shame)

  5. posted by momof3 on

    and with my luck: the egg would ooze out of it’s special place; the english muffin would be burned, the egg slide out lever would stick because of the oozing egg…in general, more of a mess than I would want to deal with.

    Egg ring–from my caterer grandmother’s days (god rest her soul), my small frying pan and perfect size eggs (whether scrambled or yummy fried–

    and yes, I fold in the corners of my KRAFT deli deluxe (TM) cheese, because I don’t want it drooping over the muffin….two layers of cheese that way…weird I know…

    and–the cheese in the ad….definitely not holding up well in the bright camera light…looked dried out and slimy to me….

  6. posted by Shalin on

    Wow…why, why, why??? Still, I have to wonder what else you can make with this thing…can you heat up a “quiche patty”, burger patty, or similar instead of the egg?

    @Nana – exactly.

  7. posted by Deborah on

    My husband bought one of these so he wouldn’t have to spend money in a drive-thru. He loves it and sometimes makes extras for me and the kids.

    (A third head hanging in shame!)

  8. posted by Melissa on

    We love ours. It may be a unitasker, but it minds itself in the morning while we chase two small kids. It is kind of like automating part of our morning routine. Until we got this, my husband either didn’t get breakfast or spent money and time at a drive thru. Way better. I am not hanging my head in shame on this one!

  9. posted by Laura on

    I’m beginning to sound like my mom when I add this comment – I sure wouldn’t want to clean it. It looks like it’s all non-stick, but does it come apart so the pieces can be immersed in water?

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