Unitasker Wednesday: Nail Perfect

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Regular readers of this site know that I don’t have fingernails, so most everything about painting and decorating fingernails doesn’t make it onto my radar screen. However, I have hung out with enough people who do their nails to pick up some understanding so I’m not a complete idiot about the subject. I’d earn a solid C- if I were to be graded on painting fingernails.

But, even as a below average student on fingernail painting, even I know this week’s unitasker selection is overkill. Introducing Nail Perfect:

This gigantic doodad is to help you avoid painting your finger as part of the fingernail-painting process. Okay, fine, I’ll concede that accidentally painting your finger could be annoying. I can imagine that being bothersome.

However, this device doesn’t save you any time or effort — after you’re done painting your nails you still have to clean fingernail polish off the machine. It’s either a little fingernail polish remover on a Q-tip to remove the polish from your skin or fingernail polish remover on a cotton ball to take the polish off the device. Cleaning is still cleaning.

One of the reviewers on Amazon also pointed out that you have to leave a single nail in the slot until it dries before being able to apply a second coat. So, instead of being able to paint all 10 fingernails and then returning to the first fingernail to apply a second coat … you paint one nail, wait 5 minutes, paint a second coat on it, and then go to the next fingernail, paint it, wait 5 minutes, paint a second coat on it, etc. Doing all your fingernails could easily take an hour instead of 20-30 minutes. I can’t imagine how long it would take if you needed to do three coats …

And, last but not least, this thing doesn’t work for toenails. Sigh. You still have to clean the polish off your skin on your feet or find a manufacturer to start producing a Toenail Perfect gizmo. (I see dollar signs!)

14 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Nail Perfect”

  1. posted by lady brett on

    honestly, i think it’s the recliner for your nail polish that really makes it.

  2. posted by Joy on

    I bite my nails, so wouldn’t have use for this lovely unitasker. I do think the polish holder is cute, though 😉

    I found out something interesting from my daughter (who just received her nail technician license). She informed me that you don’t need to wait for your nails to dry before applying the 2nd coat! I can’t wait to show her this, LOL!

  3. posted by Nana on

    I painted my fingernails to surprise my mother on Mothers’ Day…it was hard to be neat, so I painted the entire first knuckle. If only I’d had this…of course, I was 3 or 4 — dunno if I’d have had the necessary patience.

  4. posted by Julia on

    I find nail polish lasts a little longer if I go ahead and get some on my skin. The trick is to create a complete seal between the polish and the finger nail (no space for air or water to get in between, causing chips), and I just can’t do that if I’m being prissy about getting polish on my skin. I sometimes even paint the back of the nail. Since my nails aren’t very long, I always get polish on my fingertips when I do this.

    Nail polish on my skin will come off with soap and hot water and gentle scrubbing with a toothbrush after the nails have dried for a couple hours, leaving near-perfect nails behind. Once I get my nails right, I try to avoid handling nail polish remover.

  5. posted by Carla on

    Ok, I admit to curiosity. Erin, do you really not have fingernails at all?

  6. posted by Celeste on

    I would clean the item next time I remove polish from my nails.

    But gosh. Nails have different widths, and women do not need another one-size-fits-all-but-not-really item.

    Professionally done nails never have the polish right up to the skin or the cuticle. The art is is in getting a perfect straight line and curve to the paint job, respectively.

  7. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Carla — As a result of my genetic disorder, my skin is just too delicate to hold them on. So, I have nail beds as visual reminders of where nails once were on my hands and feet. On the plus side, barely anyone notices and I’ve never had an ingrown nail and my nails never get in the way of my typing. On the down side, it’s hard to get stickers off things and open some containers.

  8. posted by Monica on

    Hilarious! The bottle holder is an added bonus. I have a technique like Julia’s; I do my nails in the evening, never minding any polish on my skin. The polish hardens overnight so in my morning bath, what’s on my skin flakes off as I wash. Stubborn polish comes off with a washcloth or nail scrubber. The result is better than a “professional” job because the polish goes right to the edges.

  9. posted by Jessica on

    The only circumstance I could possibly see where this thing would be useful would be if your hands shake. But in that circumstance I think it would be better to (A.) go with out nail polish (B.) have someone paint them for you like a friend, spouse, or nail shop.

    Who buys this stuff?

  10. posted by JC on

    Ha!! I always get polish on my skin and use the paint at night, wash in the morning method mentioned above. So… I only wear clear or very pale polish on my fingernails (when I even bother). I save the fun colored polishes for my toes, which only get close-up views in karate class. That polish holder is fun though.

  11. posted by ElizabethB on

    I am another nail biter (and also have a tremor which makes it difficult to apply polish well).

    My question is: why have multiple (I presume 10) slots? You couldn’t physically fit each finger and thumb simultaneously in all the slots. And if you have to complete the entire task on one nail before starting on the next that surely makes multiple slots even more redundant?

    I was wondering whether the base might be a useful storage for all the accoutrements of manicures but looking at the Amazon pictures it doesn’t look big enough.

  12. posted by Sarah on

    I think (hope) that the slots are various sizes for various sized finger nails? Otherwise, yeah, it makes no sense. I mean having multiple slots would make no sense. Obviously the entire product makes no sense to begin with.

  13. posted by Laetitia on

    Wow – Erin – I didn’t realize you don’t have any nails at all. I guess that means that on the plus side you also don’t have the pain of a broken nail but on the down side you don’t get any protective effects for your fingertips that the rest of us get either.

    I have very thin nails that flake easily when I ‘chew’ them. On the plus side though there’s lots of stuff I can do (because my nails get into ‘thin’ places and flex easily) that others with thicker nails can’t.

  14. posted by Emily on

    Am I the only one who typically gets paint on my cuticles? You can’t even mess up at the end of your nail because there’s nothing to hit but air. So the slots are backwards and should go from the cuticle and around the sides! So not only is this product unnecessary, it’s not even useful.

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