Unitasker Wednesday: Sling2Go

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I am a dog person. We don’t currently share our home with a dog, but if I had my way we would have a dachshund (or two) hanging out with us. And, by hanging, I don’t mean it literally. However, I’m not sure the inventors of Sling2Go Pet Sling get that:

This is a dog harness that allows you to hook a strap onto it to actually let your dog hang out with you.

His little paws just dangle. There isn’t any place for him to rest his head. He has no protection if you run into something. Slam! His ribs just glide straight into the doorframe.

For older or injured dogs, I understand traditional pet slings where dogs can curl up next to you and be transported in a protective covering to dog parks or the vet. Regular pet slings make sense because the elderly or injured dogs are supported physically and completely by the sling. They can also slide down into the sling and fall asleep if they want to. But in the Sling2Go … dogs can’t do that. What it actually appears to do is to turn your dog into a purse.

9 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Sling2Go”

  1. posted by Alison on

    Not sure how this would shake out with my 85 pound lab – I wonder if they would consider designing mor of a backpack type device 🙂

  2. posted by writing all the time on

    Well, there are more than a few problems with today’s Unitasker, speaking from a dog-geek pov.

    Hard on the dog’s chest and neck. The poor pup has to hold its neck at an abnormal angle, and have it constantly jostled. And the constant pressure on the breastbone and lungs? Yikes.

    The dog is unable to move away from things that frighten it, or towards things it is curious about. You know, like a normal, healthy dog would want to do.

    Ack, I’m too disgusted. Just buy a dog shaped shoulder bag, for pete’s sake.

  3. posted by Jeannette on

    As another dog geek, I agree. This is one of the nastiest items I’ve ever seen. Its market apparently is people who look on dogs as a fashion accessory. Beyond that little rant, I really can’t add anything to what “writing all the time” said.
    By the way, Erin, a dog that is old or injured or otherwise unable to walk on its own should never be taken to a dog park, not unless it’s the only dog present. There’s a lot of rowdy play — some of it over-the-top unwise — and it would not be fair to take a disabled dog there.

  4. posted by Melanie on

    @ Jeannette – You might not take a disabled dog to a dog park to play, but if you don’t have your own yard you might still need to take your disabled dog to a dog park so he or she can do his or her business. Just find a quiet spot and supervise so the rowdy dogs don’t cause harm.

    @ writing – I don’t have a sling, but I pretty much carry my dog around under my arm like a football, so very similar to this position. It never occurred to me that it might be harmful to his neck, breastbone and lungs. On what do you base this admonishment?

  5. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Jeanette — In many cities, you can’t just let your dog poop on the sidewalk. You need to take it to a designated area, like a dog park. Where we live, there are different areas to the dog parks. They’re all fenced in and different things happen in each area — big dog play area, small dog play area, people and dog play area, “litter box” area, etc.

  6. posted by writing all the time on

    @Melanie – I base this on:

    Observations that a dog doesn’t rest its weight on its chest for very long at a time, at least the dogs that I’ve owned. They will settle into a ‘sphinx’ pose, but roll onto their sides for longer duration downs. If the weight rests on the breast bone/chest area for long, with no option to move, then the lungs are compressed. Makes it hard to breathe. I don’t have any studies to back this up, just a life-long interest in functional anatomy and body mechanics.

    For the neck, you can look at the pic of the dog in the sling and see that the neck is not straight, it is cocked to the side. If a dog, (or human) moves around a bit, the tendency is to move the head so as to constantly create a level viewing field. When moving naturally, walking/running/rolling around, it’s not a big deal, as the neck can self-adjust. When kept in that position for a while, the neck gets sore.

    Another thing I know from personal experience is that dogs will hide pain until it is very great. A dog carried that way for an hour or so, with no opportunity to walk and run and get a nice stretch, will be uncomfortable and there might be no outward sign.

    If I had a friendly veterinary orthopedist to confer with, I would.

  7. posted by Cherilyn on

    A purse into which you should not put your lipgloss.

  8. posted by MK on

    My neighbor brings her dog to work in a baby sling on her bike. The dog loves it. he goes to get the sling. its like the ultimate ‘dog out the window of the car’ experience without the car.

  9. posted by Marie on

    We have a similar device for our cat, called the Klaw Kontrol bag. (Don’t get me started on brand spelling.) It’s mainly used for claw trimming and giving medicine, but our one cat is much calmer at the vet if she can be held constantly. A hard-side carrier prevents us from touching her.

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