Unitasker Wednesday: Tug of War Rope

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

If you read the headline for this post, you may have seen the single word “rope” and thought, “rope is a multitasker, Erin is off her rocker this week.” And, I would agree, rope is quite versatile. But, this is not just a 30-foot piece of abaca rope for $60. No, this is 30′ of abaca rope for $60 with a knot in the middle of it, which is totally different. It’s Pottery Barn’s Tug of War Rope:

Unless you’re a gym teacher, where Tug of War might be played three or four times a year (class battles on a field day? in the weeks before graduation for a match between the sixth graders and the teachers? on a day when there is a substitute and you didn’t leave a proper lesson plan? some time when you’re really interested in seeing how well the school’s insurance policy covers injuries that land tykes in hospitals?), I can’t imagine there is a strong need for Pottery Barn’s Tug of War Rope in your life. If you’re in charge of planning the next family reunion and Tug of War has come to mind as a “fun” possibility, know that the same rope — natural abaca rope from the Philippines — is way cheaper when you don’t buy it from Pottery Barn. For the same price as this 30′ rope, you can get 100′ feet of abaca rope on Amazon. You could then have THREE Tug of War ropes! (That is, you’ll have Tug of War ropes once you tie knots in their middles and on the ends. Those knots make all the difference!)

To be fair, the abaca rope is good quality rope. I’m sure after playing Tug of War with it, you could untie the middle knot (gasp!) and use it again for other things. However, if you’re someone who regularly needs to use rope — say, you’re a villain who ties damsels to railroad tracks only to be foiled by do-gooder Canadian Mounties — my guess is you already own some that could substitute for a Tug of War Rope. Just don’t forget to tie that knot in the middle, obviously.

Thanks to reader Monica for finding this awesome Unitasker and sharing it with us.

9 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Tug of War Rope”

  1. posted by romney on

    Theres a knot in the middle? I thought there was meant to be a ribbon tied in the middle. A unitasker AND defective!

  2. posted by lindsay on

    I think this is my favorite unitasker of all – ridiculous AND expensive!

  3. posted by Jane on

    As a supply (substitute) teacher, I did have to use a tug of war rope two days ago! It was at the annual sports day though. I don’t know if it was defective or not but the rope we used had a knot AND a flag in the middle!
    Judging by the ragged look of the flag I feel certain that this rope has gone through many hard-fought tug of war battles and the resulting gloating and tears. I laughed out loud when I saw this unitasker. Brilliant find!

  4. posted by Andrea on

    This is the best ever. and what an OUTRAGEOUS price.

  5. posted by Anne on

    Actually, if you look at the photo, it’s a bit more that just “a piece of rope with a knot in the middle”. They have a loop at either end for the “anchor” of the side, and it’s nicely spliced together. Still, you could easily replicate for a lot less money.

  6. posted by Andrea on

    So funny. On the PB website the care instructions say to wipe with a soft dry cloth.

  7. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Anne — I couldn’t tell if that was an anchor or if the rope was just laying on top of itself. Either way, like you said, easy enough to replicate. Though, if it is a woven in loop at the end, that seems to be a bit cheater-y to me. Isn’t the fun of Tug of War being the act of pulling it out of your “enemy’s” hands?

  8. posted by Anna on

    @Andrea: What? Clean with a soft dry cloth? Is that enough to remove all the dirt? Will it shrink if you put it through the washing machine?

    Seriously, now, who could not use a rope that is already knotted in the middle (the exact middle, I assume, for that price anyway). So very good for those who are arithmetically challenged. Imagine the havoc and bad feelings that could result from tug-of-war played with a rope whose knot is off-center.

  9. posted by Noelle on

    The price went up. It’s now $90. Is this for real?! http://www.potterybarn.com/pro.....pool-beach||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_–_-

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