All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
If you read the headline for this post, you may have seen the single word “rope” and thought, “rope is a multitasker, Erin is off her rocker this week.” And, I would agree, rope is quite versatile. But, this is not just a 30-foot piece of abaca rope for $60. No, this is 30′ of abaca rope for $60 with a knot in the middle of it, which is totally different. It’s Pottery Barn’s Tug of War Rope:
Unless you’re a gym teacher, where Tug of War might be played three or four times a year (class battles on a field day? in the weeks before graduation for a match between the sixth graders and the teachers? on a day when there is a substitute and you didn’t leave a proper lesson plan? some time when you’re really interested in seeing how well the school’s insurance policy covers injuries that land tykes in hospitals?), I can’t imagine there is a strong need for Pottery Barn’s Tug of War Rope in your life. If you’re in charge of planning the next family reunion and Tug of War has come to mind as a “fun” possibility, know that the same rope — natural abaca rope from the Philippines — is way cheaper when you don’t buy it from Pottery Barn. For the same price as this 30′ rope, you can get 100′ feet of abaca rope on Amazon. You could then have THREE Tug of War ropes! (That is, you’ll have Tug of War ropes once you tie knots in their middles and on the ends. Those knots make all the difference!)
To be fair, the abaca rope is good quality rope. I’m sure after playing Tug of War with it, you could untie the middle knot (gasp!) and use it again for other things. However, if you’re someone who regularly needs to use rope — say, you’re a villain who ties damsels to railroad tracks only to be foiled by do-gooder Canadian Mounties — my guess is you already own some that could substitute for a Tug of War Rope. Just don’t forget to tie that knot in the middle, obviously.
Thanks to reader Monica for finding this awesome Unitasker and sharing it with us.