Unitasker Wednesday: Egg Dispenser

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes โ€” we donโ€™t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

In 2013, the majority of us get our eggs from the grocery store or a local farmers market. We don’t have hen houses in our yards where we go to collect eggs (from evil, evil chickens … oh, how I hate collecting eggs from chickens). And, the few people (brave souls) who do have hens that lay eggs, they likely use a wire egg basket when picking up the eggs (and a good stiff broom to lift up the chickens and let them peck the handle while grabbing the eggs beneath). Wire egg baskets are nice because they let things like grass and chicken feathers fall off the eggs while walking between the hen house and the human house. (Sometimes, those eggs even have chicken poop on them because chickens are disgusting in addition to being evil. Oh, chickens, I raise my fist in your general direction!)

Anyone who has ever raised chickens (again, a brave soul) also knows that eggs don’t have to be refrigerated if you’re going to eat them the day they’re collected. The only eggs that need to be cooled are those that are going to be stored for a longer period of time. And, those of us who keep eggs for more than a couple days, we are usually the folks who are buying our eggs at the store. Want to know what is cool about buying eggs at the store or farmers market? The eggs come in an awesome recyclable container! You get the 12 eggs AND the biodegradable container with your purchase. It’s an amazing deal.

Therefore, knowing what we all do about eggs and (truly evil) chickens, you can understand my confusion about the existence of the Egg Dispenser:

One of the wonderful features about the container that comes with each purchase of a dozen eggs is that this container protects the eggs in your refrigerator. It’s like a force field keeping your eggs safe. Those eggs don’t need any extra protection — they already have it!

Plus, leaving the eggs in the container they were purchased in saves you time and money. You don’t waste your time taking your eggs out of one container to put them into a second container that does the exact same thing as the first container. Also, you don’t waste your money on a container exactly like the one you get for free with your egg purchase.

In summary, chickens are horrible creatures. Oh, wait, I mean the Egg Dispenser is a unitasker.

42 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Egg Dispenser”

  1. posted by Suzanne on

    I live in LA, and it’s my understanding that the cardboard egg cartons are not recyclable (possibly due to contamination from the eggs). It’s such a bummer.

  2. posted by romney on

    Actually, if you’re collecting your own eggs or live outside the US you don’t need to refrigerate your eggs at all. They last for weeks in the cupboard.

    Its just in America where they “powerwash” eggs to make them super clean looking that the coating is destroyed and you have to refrigerate them. What a waste of time! If they’re from the farmer’s market and have gunk on them, I’d guess you can probably treat them like European eggs.

  3. posted by Leslie on

    We have 16 chickens. They like to peck my toes (love the toe rings), but we don’t use a wire egg basket, I think I’m currently using a plastic McDonald’s happy meal container as it’s the right size and has a handle. Don’t have much of a problem getting the chickens to lift up to get the eggs, I simply reach under and they stand. And because the eggs are fresh, we simply store them in a giant bowl in the kitchen until needed (no refrigeration necessary). We also collect those nifty grocery store containers from family/neighbors so we don’t have to buy our own. Most “special” containers are silly when a bowl will do.

  4. posted by Jacki Hollywood Brown on

    In most places in Canada the cardboard containers in which eggs are sold are recyclable.

    However, for those who camp or travel back and forth to a cottage, this little gadget would be very useful. We had a cottage when I was growing up and several times we would clean up cracked eggs from the bottom of the cooler.

    It is a unitasker because it is only useful to transport eggs back and forth from camping.

  5. posted by Liz E. on

    Given the name, I thought this somehow “dispensed” the eggs–one at a time or something.

    Then I found out it’s just a plastic egg carton.

    False advertising? Shame on you, Lock&Lock ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. posted by Erin on

    I’m pretty sure you can put a little water on the container, throw it in a 200F oven for 15 minutes, and then put the container in the compost bin. After baking, you could also use the container for craft projects or jewelry storage. Salmonella dies at 160F and paper doesn’t burn until 451F. Just watch your oven carefully and don’t forget about the carton. But, once it’s 160F, the bacteria is dead.

  7. posted by Roxanne on


    I don’t think you should hold back – tell us how you really feel about chickens!

    I thought the evil chicken part even funnier than the unitasker.

  8. posted by Wraith on

    I suppose it may be somewhat more sturdy than a cardboard egg container, is reusable, and isn’t affected by liquid. Though as mentioned, probably not very useful if your eggs only travel from store to fridge to frying pan.

  9. posted by jessiejack on

    thanks for explaining about why US eggs need to be refrigerated and European eggs don’t.I have a Scottish friend who always kept her eggs in the pantry. I didnt know why I was brought up to keep them in the fridge

  10. posted by Emily on

    Actually, this is a good idea, since the plastic won’t break the egg if something bumps in to it like it would if it was cardboard. Not to mention you can stack things above it for maximum space efficiency.

    I don’t get why you bash on items with a legitimate purpose like this.

  11. posted by clothespin on

    A few brave souls who have chickens? Where have you been? Most cities allow folks to keep 4-6 hens in their back yards. There’s an entire huge website http://www.backyardchickens.com/ dedicated to chickens, including urban chickens. It’s a fabulous resource! And, the pretty red wire chicken basket is only $5 at the Tractor Supply Store!

    Now, I’ll give you that my husband and I both grew up with stinky mean chickens that neither of us liked. BUT – times have changed! There’s new methods, better coop designs and lots more information exchange (due to the internet) and some fabulous books on chicken care. My chickens don’t smell at all. I have breeds that are kid friendly, heat tollerant and great layers. They eat our kitchen scraps and are good for our daughters. What better way to teach where food comes from than right in your own back yard? Plus, they’re pretty!

    And, just for the record, washing chicken eggs is a bad idea. Egg shells are pourous, so when you put a warm egg into cooler water, whatever nastiness on the outside gets pulled into the inside. It’s better to wipe the eggs with a damp rag OR use a soft sander to get the remaining bits off … just like my grandpa did years ago.

    And, nutritional content is also off the charts better than store eggs. Have you ever seen how commercial hens are raised? It’s horrifying. My girls are happy out in the sun in a safe pen eating healthy food and living a good chicken life. Much better for them and ME.

  12. posted by JustGail on

    The only reason I can think of that this *might* make sense is if you use so few eggs, that they dry out too much before all are used (shells do allow air in). If that’s the case, buying half-dozen cartons, or oiling the shells makes more sense.

    This could make a good addition to the craft area – for paints while working on a project. When you need to stop for a bit, simply snap on the top to keep the paints from drying out for a short time. Maybe.

  13. posted by Al on

    We buy our eggs 60 at a time from Costco. So this is a great product, since the Costco eggs don’t come with containers. You should have done a little more research.

  14. posted by nancy on

    Honestly, what I’d want in a “unitasking” egg holder is for it to have 14 slots. Because I usually buy eggs when I still have a couple … then I have two cartons in the fridge. The transparency of this makes it easy to see how many are in there.

  15. posted by Shalilah Russell on

    I don’t wanttoclutter my house up but these egg cartons can be used for other things like small things, pins, earrings, even paper cliips.

  16. posted by Harald on

    I use similar products for camping. Cardboard containers just don’t work in ice-filled coolers, and even the styrofoam ones risk egg breakage.

    Your article was hilarious, of course. And yes, it’s still a unitasker, but it’s a useful unitasker in some environments!

  17. posted by Jeri Dansky on

    I take my cardboard egg containers back to the famers market; the people I buy my eggs from reuse them. Even better than recycling!

    JustGail, I do just what you suggest: I usually buy six eggs at a time, since I’m just buying for me. Hurray for fresh eggs!

  18. posted by Jia on

    This one makes sense to me. We usually have a few chickens in our back yard so we don’t buy eggs and so don’t get a steady supply of recyclable cartons. It’s better to have a couple of durable reusable boxes like this that will do us for years. And having them clear rather than opaque means it’s easy to check how many eggs we have before planning a meal!

    The plastic boxes just sit on the worktop so they’re always in view. I’ve never refrigerated an egg in my life. If they’re going to be around for more than a few days, a quick wipe of butter around the shell will help them to last longer.

  19. posted by Elizabeth Logan on

    Actually this Unitasker would come in handy for me. During the summer we spend almost every weekend at our place at the lake. I’m always transporting food back & forth. A hard plastic egg container would protect the eggs from getting crushed in the cooler than the paper one. ALSO it wouldn’t get soggy from the “cooler water” when the ice melts and fall apart like the others. For me this Unitasker is a winner! ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. posted by Rowena Harris on

    First time poster, long time reader,.
    I loved the bits about chickens. I have a bunch of hens in my garden…. Love having them, and fresh eggs.
    I live in Australia, and we can keep our bought eggs in the pantry cupboard too. Plus, kindergartens and the like use the empty cartons for craft projects. The boxes are recyclable too.
    But I don’t think I need go buy that doodad above…….

  21. posted by Brian on

    Nancy, we had the “14 egg” problem too. What we did was to buy an 18 pack of eggs once and save the carton. Now if we have a couple extra eggs, we put them in there with the new eggs.

  22. posted by juliana on

    My solution to the camping with eggs problem – i just make up batches of scrambled eggs, pour each batch into a leakproof container and put them in the bottom of the cooler. If anyone wants a fried egg, oh well!

  23. posted by Sharon on

    At my local co-op the eggs are not in cartons. We pick the 12 we want and can use one of their cardboard cartons or bring our own container. I use one of these plastic ones. Saves on garbage/recycle and my eggs don’t get squashed. Pay once and use repeatedly. Works for me! But technically it does do only one thing so it is a unitasker.

  24. posted by Howard on

    My sister has a great solution for getting the eggs away from the chicken. She made a feed scoop out of a gallon milk jug with the bottom cut off at an angle. To get the eggs, she just covers the chicken’s head with the scoop and reaches in for the eggs. Cheep, recycled, and double duty – can’t get simpler than that.

  25. posted by JustGail on

    @ clothespin – where do you live? Here in Iowa, very few towns allow chickens. Some towns have recently allowed it, and more are debating it.

    @ Al – we don’t have a Costco nearby – what do the eggs come in if not cartons?

    This is one reason I love Unitasker Wednesday – viewpoints that didn’t occur to me. I hadn’t thought about those with their own chickens, or buy places that don’t have cartons.

  26. posted by Elly on

    This is very useful to store the beautiful Easter eggs my mother brought back from Poland years ago. Much better protection that cardboard. I agree that it should have had 14 slots, so that I would only have to buy one of them.

  27. posted by Kate on

    We were gifted a plastic egg holder similar to this that holds six eggs. My only problem with it is it only accommodates eggs up to a certain size. Our orpington’s eggs are way too big to fit into it. At least the biodegradable grocery store variety have some give to them. (We use them as campfire starters when we’re done with them.)

    Why all the hate on chickens? My three-year experience with them has been nothing but lovely. I’ve never had a problem collecting eggs. After they lay, they go out into the run to forage and catch up on all the chicken yard gossip, leaving us free to collect the eggs. They’re only inclined to hang out in the nesting box when they go broody, which only happens sporadically, and can easily be stopped. Some varieties are actually bred to not go broody.

    As for poop, sure, poop happens, but if you perform a quick daily coop maintenance, poop on eggs will be minimal. I always keep a tissue in my pocket just in case, but it’s really not a common occurrence. (I have eight girls.)

    I hope any readers who might be considering chickens won’t be scared off by this post. Chickens are funny, beautiful creatures. They can be both entertaining and calming. If you start them off right, they can be quite friendly, too…mine sit on my lap. They’ll keep the bug population down, fertilize and aerate the lawn, and take care of your kitchen scraps. Fresh eggs are awesome!

    I realize chickens are not for everybody, but just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean all chickens are horrible.

  28. posted by Emily on

    Makes sense to me. In my small fridge, I have had the cheapo grocery store cartons fall open and eggs fall out and smash when moving things around. The few seconds it would take to transfer the eggs would be worth not spending long minutes cleaning up that mess.

  29. posted by Dorothy on

    I have a similar item, it is yellow and sold by Coghlans http://www.coghlans.com/images/products/511A.jpg The eggs that I buy are in a cardboard container, and if you put a cardboard container in your cooler when camping, you’re going to have a bad time.

    The container you’ve shown looks like it might actually fit my eggs quite a bit better than the ubiquitous cheap yellow version.

  30. posted by Laetitia in Australia on

    We used to have ducks. When a duck goes broody and doesn’t want to let you collect its eggs, it doesn’t peck, it grabs hold of your skin with its bill and vigorously twists its head back and forth. Oh, and their bills have little ‘teeth’ so this hurts quite a bit. I learnt to wear a loose long-sleeved shirt or bathrobe so it could twist away to its heart’s content.

  31. posted by Michelle on

    Oh Erin, you crack me up! I raised chickens for years and feel the same way. I worked with small farmers for several years and often had to bite my tounge to prevent chicken-bashing when consulting with noob farmers with visions of omlettes dancing in their heads. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my evil little flock of idiot peckers, but chickens are the nearest thing to a walking vegetable on the farm.

  32. posted by Pamzella on

    I am with Dorothy… I have two of the yellow ones for camping, nothing ruins the ice chest faster than a soggy carton and broken egg.. But this would be even better…. I know what a good seal those have, I use the same style for Tupperware (particularly while camping) because we try to car camp low-impact. We bring Pre-measured stuff in Tupperware, and then use the cleaned containers to hold snacks as those get opened, so we don’t use any ziploc bags. Good seal also improves the chances our car or bear box will go unnoticed. When the eggs are eaten… Pebble mancala on the last day or two when we are having cereal? ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. posted by John Booty on

    “However, for those who camp or travel back and forth to a cottage, this little gadget would be very useful. We had a cottage when I was growing up and several times we would clean up cracked eggs from the bottom of the cooler.

    It is a unitasker because it is only useful to transport eggs back and forth from camping.”

    My thoughts exactly. We had something similar to this for camping purposes. Useful for transporting them to the cottage/campsite, and especially useful once the ice in the cooler has begun to melt since a paper carton would become soggy and fall apart.

    Also still a unitasker, for the reason you said!

  34. posted by Mama Minou on

    Why, why so down on chickens? Sure, they are not the brightest bulbs int he garden….but evil?!

    I have six lovely Ladies that are quite docile and lay lots of eggs that I just pick up and carry to the house…in my hands!

  35. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Michelle — Walking vegetables!! I’m totally stealing that phrase. Brilliant.

    To the others who wonder what chickens ever did to me … you can check out the scars on the front of my legs and on the back of my hands. The scars are constant reminders of the evilness of chickens. I’ve never heard of or met a nice chicken. However, I have met enough stupid and angry chickens to make me never want to get near one again.

  36. posted by clothespin on

    I live in Texas. My little town allows hens in the town. A friend of mine in Auburn AL was the first person allowed to have chickens there – not sure how many more people have joined her. An old student of mine in Boston http://www.yardbirdsbackyardchickens.com/

    I have found that some breeds (Barred Rocks for example) are much less friendly than others. That’s why I specifically have breeds that are super friendly – I have 2 small kids! And roosters tend to be more assertive than the hens – so no boys allowed either (unless we plan on eating them!).

    And we used to use a tin can over their heads to get the eggs as kids, too.

    And seriously, do some research on commercial egg production. Even if you don’t want your own girls, please support the small local producers who do. It’s better for your health and the local farmers need your support!

  37. posted by Elizabeth on

    Perhaps the handy egg dispenser ($7.95 plus shipping?! Are they crazy?) is for hard-boiled eggs. You can hard boil a dozen eggs and put them into the egg dispenser to distinguish them from uncooked eggs. Then someone can make fresh egg salad for one sandwich.

    (I have no idea how long a hard boiled egg keeps in the fridge. I would never do this. I loathe egg salad.)

  38. posted by Frida on

    @Elizabeth: That’s how I use mine. So I can tell the boiled eggs from the raw ones. Some weeks I have eggs for breakfast every day so I boil a dozen and then don’t have to think about it for a few days.

  39. posted by anonymous on

    According to one episode of the TV show “Doomsday Preppers”, eggs can be preserved for about 9 months without refrigeration by coating them in mineral oil.


  40. posted by free samples canada on

    Frankly, I understand why the Egg dispenser exists. I live in the city and buy my eggs from the supermarket but my parents live next to a farm and would love such dispenser!
    Do you know where I can buy one?

  41. posted by magnoliachica on

    I wondered similar things about the little egg storage areas in refrigerators. Always seemed a waste of good storage space.

    I think this egg thing would be better as a paint tray. If you have to leave your painting (or your kid’s craft time) for awhile, you can just snap it up and things won’t dry out.

  42. posted by Kate on

    I actually own one of these from Lock & Lock. And I use it. Helps when things get moved around and jostled in the fridge (a high-traffic area in my house), and for transporting eggs when camping, etc. Also helps keep eggs from absorbing various other smells from the fridge.

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