All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
I’m all in favor of hand washing and taking reasonable measures to reduce the spread of unwanted germs. However, there is a point where reasonable precaution slips into unnecessary obsession and has diminishing returns. This week’s unitasker selection is definitely in the unnecessary obsession category (at least for healthy individuals with functioning immune systems) — Disposable Plane Sheets:
These disposable (yes, disposable, it is part of the official product name) sheets are made for standard coach airline seats and cost around $20 a set when you include shipping. They are marketed to the general population, to protect everyone from the germs left behind by the people who previously sat on a plane seat. Sure, scientific researchers have found that germs don’t live more than a few minutes on fabric surfaces and that the arm rests (which this product doesn’t cover) are a larger (though still small) danger of germ transmission than an airline seat. And if you’re afraid of bedbugs or lice, nothing is stopping those critters from jumping off your neighbor’s seat and onto you just because you have a Disposable Plane Sheet. But, pffft, whatever, science.
If you’re unnecessarily afraid of germs on airline seats, just think of all the additional product possibilities you could buy — Subway sheets! Bus sheets! Train sheets! Passenger seat in your friend’s car sheets! Chair at the DMV sheets! Park bench sheets! Carousel horse sheets! Chair in the waiting room at your doctor’s office sheets!
Go broke buying seat sheets so your pants never again touch the same place as someone else’s pants!! Ahhhhhhh!
Thanks to Canadian reader N for directing us to this week’s unitasker selection.
Bonus: Reader CK found an incredibly amusing item in the potential food-product unitasker category — Powerful Yogurt for Men. We’re not convinced food can be a unitasker, but if it can, this one would certainly qualify. Too funny.