Unitasker Wednesday: Stick Pet Toy

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Fetch is a simple, yet mildly entertaining game you can play with a dog: you throw a stick, the dog runs to find it, the dog retrieves it, you throw the stick again, and you repeat the process until your dog is tired or bored. Most any stick you find in your yard or at the dog park will do, but you can also lob an old tennis ball if you’re interested in mixing things up a bit. The best part about playing fetch with a stick is that sticks are free and in hefty supply from nature, especially after a windy day. Noting this, you can see why a Stick Pet Toy seems, well, unitaskeriffic:

If your dog has a bad habit of eating sticks and suffering digestive issues afterward, I’m not sure a fake stick is a good alternative. Instead of eating bark, your dog would be eating stuffing, neoprene, neoprene fabric dye, thread — pretty much the equivalent of a SCUBA diver’s suit with fluff. Yummers.

It’s an $11 fake stick! Egads.

Thanks to reader Heidi for suggesting we feature fake sticks for pets — too funny.

19 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Stick Pet Toy”

  1. posted by Annie on

    AHH! This is the first time I have something similar to a unitasker. My dog has this:


    She loves it!!! In my defense, she has a bad habit of swallowing things that are soft enough for her to bite chunks off of them (like regular sticks). This is super-hard plastic (like a regular Nylabone), but its just shaped differently. She’s been chewing on the same one every single day for the past 9-10 months – best dog toy I ever bought!

  2. posted by Remy C on

    Isn’t every dog toy a unitasker, going by this logic? This isn’t any different than any other dog toys, except that it’s in a clever shape.

  3. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Remy C — I think most dog toys have some function, in that they provide a service (entertainment) for a pet that can’t be found abundantly elsewhere. Nothing free and in nature has the properties of a kong, so I understand why dog owners buy kongs for their dogs. I don’t think kongs are unitaskers. But a stick? That’s not something you need to buy. They’re everywhere.

  4. posted by Pamela on

    During my first visit to the vet after getting my dog, another owner came in with her adult dog, with a stick embedded in the roof of its mouth. For that reason, I never throw sticks for my dog to fetch– we use other dog toys instead. This looks to me no different than any other dog toy; simply designed to look like a stick, and feels far safer–

  5. posted by Chris on

    Floating dog toy, with a squeaker. I don’t know of too many squeaking sticks “found everywhere.” I sure don’t want to toss sticks into my pool either.

    If it was a squeaking ball would it not be a unitasker? Is it just the shape that makes it a unitasker?

  6. posted by Robin on

    I’m with everyone else. By this logic, every dog toy everywhere is a unitasker. There are better unitaskers out there – our dog LOVES squeaky toys and almost all of them look like something else. There are abundant rabbits in nature but I’m very glad my dog chews on her fake squeaky one.

  7. posted by Northmoon on

    I work for a large urban municipality. Recently we set up a new dog off leash area complete with some new trees for shade. Someone came in the first week and broke a branch off one of the young trees to throw for his dog!!! It would only take three or four more people to do that and the tree would have no branches left.

    There aren’t that many sticks left lying around in our parks, so I’m very happy to see someone buy a fake stick to throw for their dog.

  8. posted by STL Mom on

    I’m with Heidi and Erin — a fake stick is funny.
    Not wrong or terrible or unjustifiable — just funny!

  9. posted by maxie on

    Erin, I believe you made a typo up there: “repeat the process until your dog is tired or bored.” Should read until *you* are tired or bored!

    I’ve never had a dog who tired of any game before I did.;-)

  10. posted by Ky on

    Actually the reason for the fake stick is that you really shouldn’t be having your dog fetch a real stick. If the dog jumps and the stick and lands on it, there is a good chance he could puncture something and cause a serious injury.

    Fake stick isn’t really any different to any other dog fetch toy like a tennis ball. This one is pretty expensive, you can get them for about $5.

    I have a GSD, she will bring me a ball and play fetch for about 10 minutes then put the ball away.

  11. posted by cathy on

    *Sigh* These are for dogs who chew up/swallow bits of real stick. As a former vet tech, I’ve seen a lot (and I mean a LOT) of perforated bowels from dogs swallowing sharp bits of sticks. A unitasker for sure, but an $11 toy is a LOT cheaper than surgery to attempt to repair a perforated bowel, and a lot less stressful than hoping your dog can survive the resulting septicemia.

  12. posted by purpleBee on

    As a ‘cat person’, I think a dog is a unitasker. Tee hee

    Seriously, while I see the medical reason for this … it is silly.

  13. posted by Shalin on

    Wait. What? Wow. Huh. Hmmm… Huh??? Really??? Wow. Well… O.k. Next. 🙂

  14. posted by jen on

    Ok, so I get what the other commenters are saying about the dangers of real sticks, but really? Don’t you get how ridiculous the concept of a fake stick is???

  15. posted by Emily on

    Sticks sink. This floats. It is designed for retrieval in water. Just sayin.’

  16. posted by Jodi on

    LOL @ purpleBee

  17. posted by oh Holland on

    I admit I once bought both red and acid green fakes stick for my dogs, for the very reason I’m a fan of figurative pop art and thought the toys would look hip lying on the kitchen floor where said dogs drop them.

  18. posted by Rose on

    Amen to Jen. An expensive fake stick is pretty ridiculous imo. I’m fine with cutesy dog toys, but one in the shape of a stick? That just seems dumb.
    I couldn’t stop one of my dogs from chewing real sticks if I tried. He loves it and there’s a lot of them in our yard. He gets to them before I do.

    @Emily, I take it you’ve never thrown a real stick into the water before? Usually all the sticks I throw float… they’re pretty buoyant. They don’t squeak, but that’s a bonus. 😉

  19. posted by Pam R on

    I must weigh in on the pro side. Not for this particular fake stick, but a Petco “Petstages” stick that smells like wood. My puppy loves sticks, and our tree-filled yard is full of them. I once had to quickly remove one that got caught in her palate, as she was choking. If I told her No every time she put one in her mouth, I’d be saying no, no, no, no, no… you get the picture. There’s no way I can remove them from the yard, as every morning when we go out, nature has provided dozens more. So I give her the fake stick, and she carries it around and gnaws on it. In the house, it keeps her from gnawing on our antique furniture. The Petco stick is between $4 and $6, depending on size. Yes, it “sounds” crazy, but if you have a pup with stick-addiction problems, it’s a good solution.

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