Unitasker Wednesday: Automatic Wine Opener and Foil Cutter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

As I’ve mentioned before, I like wine. I like the farming, science, and technical aspects of creating it. I am fascinated by the marketing, sales, and distribution of it. I like talking to wine makers and sommeliers and distributors and retailers. I like reading articles about the wine industry and reviews. And, obviously, I like drinking it.

One product I have never heard a single industry insider discuss, though, is this giant Automatic Wine Opener and Foil Cutter. In addition to being massive in size, it also requires being plugged in to charge it before each use:

Want to know what doesn’t require being charged or taking up a ton of space? A $10 corkscrew that works very, very well.

And, since you can just pull the foil off the top of a bottle of wine, you don’t even need a foil cutter.

The exception to all of this would be if you have hand issues and opening a bottle of wine is difficult for you. But, even if this is the case, a smaller, $20 battery operated wine opener is still a better option than this monstrosity you have to plug into your wall.

The Automatic Wine Opener and Foil Cutter should appear in the dictionary next to the word OVERKILL. If you want a few more giggles, I recommend clicking on the product link and looking at the pictures of it being used. The device appears to be bigger than some of the bottles of wine being opened.

Thanks to reader Clayton for leading us to this unitasker.

14 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Automatic Wine Opener and Foil Cutter”

  1. posted by Alicia on

    This is so funny, my mom actually has one of these and I always make fun of her! I have a cheap-o corkscrew that works just as good!

  2. posted by Monica on

    Too bad the reviews are bad for it, and that it’s pretty expensive, because I can never open a bottle with a regular corkscrew. I just fail at it. I’ll just stick to twist-top drinks.

  3. posted by Andy Goulden on

    If you’re in the US you probably won’t be able to watch, but on the most recent episode of “Stephen Fry: Gadget Man” (http://www.youtube.com/channel/SWXEm1RPTU3B8) they showed a huge, brass machine which was the size of a small car which opened and poured a bottle of wine into a glass. Obviously, it was an art piece rather than a practical device. It was beautiful, and this picture doesn’t quite do it justice: http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E83T8YNtgRw/0.jpg, but it’s the best I could find.

    I think that outdoes the Automatic Wine Opener and Foil Cutter, but then again it isn’t being pitched as a sensible product.

  4. posted by Ros on

    Andy just got there before me with Stephen Fry’s machine – so beautiful and it had a bell that rang when it opened the bottle and was about to pour it.

    It’s sad but when I watched the programme (full of kitchen/ food gadgets) the first thing I thought was “these could all feature on Unitasker Wednesday”

  5. posted by Irene on

    This actually reminds me of one of my favorite fictitional unitaskers – the “Have it oeuf Wisecrack Eggpeeler” from Bridget Jones’s Diary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJi4d6J1_HM

    P.S.: Love Unitasker Wednesday!

  6. posted by purpleBee on

    Electrically powered, pricier than other items and with poor reviews. Unitasker gold.

    I’ve found the best way to open wine bottles is the combination of a simple corkscrew and a particular guest who believes only he can open wine bottles properly. A slightly fiddly wine bottle opened, a proud guest, and a pair of hosts who are slightly amused and relieved that they didn’t have to do the job.

  7. posted by Sharon on

    My in-laws gave us something similar for Christmas last year. Unfortunately I’m stuck with it on my kitchen counter and consuming electricity. My husband thinks it is cool and my in-laws use it when they come to visit every few months so it would be noticed if it suddenly went ‘missing’. I personally use our cheapo corkscrew that fits neatly in a drawer out of the way. Yet another reason to try to cut down on the gift giving at Christmas!

  8. posted by susan on

    I think if I had it, it would ‘break’ and be replaced with a $10 corkscrew. When the in- laws notice it’s gone I would tell them it didn’t work anymore (it doesn’t work when it’s not charged ) and hand them the corkscrew and say how well that is working for you. Hopefully they won’t get you another. Or I would put it in the cabinet and only take it out for the in laws IF they ask for it. After a while it can leave the house. I would not keep something one the counter for people that come every few months unless your husband really wants it on the counter all the time.
    My MIL gave us an electric meat cutter/knife even though she knew I was a vegetarian. It got put in the back of the cabinet and eventually to Goodwill.

  9. posted by Jia on

    Who even uses a corkscrew these days? All the best wines come with screw tops which are far easier to manage and far less likely to destroy the drink with a bad taste or bits of cork floating in it. I live in New Zealand and haven’t seen a non-screw top wine bottle in years.

  10. posted by Sharon on

    Susan – thanks for the suggestion. It has been almost a year now…

  11. posted by ninakk on

    One word: Screwpull.

  12. posted by Taylor on

    I just saw this on Pinterest and immediately thought “Unitasker Wednesday!”

    The “One Click Butter Cutter.” In case a butter knife just won’t do.

  13. posted by Taylor on

    Whoops forgot to leave you the link! http://www.oneclickbuttercutter.com/

  14. posted by Stephanie on

    This does actually have a market. My grandfather who has tremors in his hand but still thinks it’s his job to open the wine has something similar to this.

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