All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and millions of Americans will be gathering with friends and family to enjoy turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie. I’m personally a fan of a dry brined roasted turkey, accompanied by very little family drama.
However, I’m well aware that my way is not the only way and there are people who like their drama turned up to 11 and their birds fried to a crisp. I’ll admit, frying the bird does add a dangerous element to what might otherwise be an adventure-free day. Heck, just this week I learned from watching an Allstate Insurance advertisement that 15 people burned their houses completely to the ground last year as a result of frying Thanksgiving turkeys — now that IS adventurous!
And, what better thing to do this holiday than bring that potentially deadly outdoor adventure indoors, near where all your family members are gathered! Introducing the Masterbuilt Butterball Professional Series Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer:
Frying a turkey indoors seems like a swell idea. I can’t think of a single thing that could possibly go wrong. Kids running around wouldn’t trip over any electrical cables, pulling scalding oil down on top of them. Great Aunt Martha who doesn’t have the best eyesight wouldn’t accidentally open it and burn the skin off her face. Nope. No risk of injury to anyone at your family gathering.
Plus, I bet this turkey frying contraption gets used ALL the time. It’s a Tuesday in June, why NOT fry a turkey?! And, I you could probably even fry a duck in it, too! And your neighbor’s pet rabbit! (Too far? Did I just go too far?)
For those of you who like to serve turkeys that have been taking steroids, the Masterbuilt Butterball Professional Series Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer also comes in X-Large! Sweet. Nothing says, “I love you, family,” than using extra hot oil to wound your guests and catch your home on fire.
Bonus: Dozens of you sent me a link to the (riddled with curse words) “Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog” this week, and I am so thankful you shared it with me. If you’re not at work and haven’t yet seen this entertaining diatribe about the unitaskers featured in this year’s holiday catalog, you should go and enjoy the rant.