Unitasker Wednesday: Cork Presenter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This is one of those unitaskers that makes me believe manufacturers think their customers are suckers, patsies, easy marks. In their eyes (especially manufacturers that target pregnant women and people who like to cook), we’ll buy any doodad and gizmo they tell us we need. Them: “You need this gadget that does the same thing as what you already own!” Us: “OF COURSE WE DO!!”

As proof of this theory, I would like to introduce you to the Cork Presenter:

Now, anyone who has ever dined in a fine restaurant and enjoyed a bottle of wine is aware, a sommelier doesn’t set a wine cork down in a Cork Presenter after opening a bottle of wine. Wine etiquette suggests that the sommelier should hand the cork to the person at the table who is hosting the dinner. The person at the table inspects the cork to make sure that the printing on it matches the information on the label of the bottle (this is done to try to detect fraud), and then the sommelier usually guides the host to set the cork down on a small bread plate or just on the table or even to pocket the cork if the host wants to keep it. If a group of wine aficionados are at the table, the cork might be passed around for everyone to inspect, but eventually the cork makes its way back to the bread plate.

What is nice about bread plates are that they can also be used for bread or cookies or anything else you would like to set on them. When opening a nice bottle of wine at home, a small bread plate can also hold a wine bottle’s cork, just like it does at The French Laundry.

Oh, and this little unitasker costs $30 — further proof of my belief that manufacturers are just rolling around laughing at their customers from their Scrooge McDuck money bins.

Thanks to reader Jeri for sharing this unitasker idea with us.

17 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Cork Presenter”

  1. posted by Alison on

    It seems that someone always comes to the defense of the unitasker as a legitimate item/tool. I can’t WAIT to hear the logic on this one!!!

  2. posted by anne on

    as a tangent: I think you mainly examine the cork to make sure it’s not dried out or rotten, since these things would ruin your fancy bottle of wine. (The wine cork presenter is still ridiculous, though.)

  3. posted by Erin Doland on

    @anne — If I understand wine etiquette correctly, it’s the sommelier who is supposed to check the cork for signs of bacteria, damage, etc. By the time the cork gets to the meal’s host, the sommelier should already know if the bottle is at high risk of being overly oxidized or rancid. At home, though, the cork would be inspected for both reasons.

  4. posted by DawnF on

    or you could just order a pitcher of margaritas and forget about the wine, its cork and the placement of the cork all together. 🙂

  5. posted by Jo on

    But it’s so prefect for holding the lids of your markers while you’re coloring so you don’t lose the lids. And since there are only two spots, you’re likely to cap them quickly after use so you can have space for the cap of the next marker you want to use, thereby ensuring that your markers don’t get dried out.

    You could also use it as a lipstick holder, because clearly a table or shelf or purse is not good enough for your lipstick.

    IT could keep your extra buttons lined up all nicely, and it’s specially designed to maximize the chaos if one were to bump it, causing the buttons to fly all over.

    See? Not useful for lots of things. And you call this a unitasker…

  6. posted by Jessiejack on

    Will it also hold screwtops for those less fancy dinners?

  7. posted by Another Deb on

    To riff with Jo: It would make a similarly quirky choice for organizing loose change, Cheerios or aspirin. Of course if you were sorting coins, you would need to buy even MORE of them to accomodate the various coins.

    I could use it in the car as a holder for sewing needles as I travel with DH. Hilarity ensues!

  8. posted by Nana on

    If it could be monogrammed or otherwise inscribed, it would be the perfect and perfectly useless wedding gift!

    OTOH, as one who has made molded soaps..it could be used as a demi-lune soap mold.

  9. posted by Gabe on

    It could also be used to hold… um…
    One Oscar Meyer wiener broken in twain!

  10. posted by guest on

    yeah, but what do you do with the wine that comes with screwtop? because that’s completely fine nowadays, even for expensive wine. we are long past the stereotype that wine needs a cork. can I please have a screwtop holder now? 😉

  11. posted by Susan Robbins on

    THIRTY DOLLARS? Is it silver-plated or something? Nope, it’s stainless steel. Is it monogrammed, at least? Uh… no.

  12. posted by Mera on

    Once again I am reminded of a comedic line of Robin Williams, though he was speaking of cocaine. “It’s God’s way of letting you know you’re making too much money.”

  13. posted by Anna on

    Baking pan for mini French loaves, of course.

  14. posted by JustGail on

    I apologize for my inner 8 year old who insists on noting that those of us with cats or small dogs could use it as a poo presenter at veterinarian visits.

  15. posted by Jeanne Thelwell on

    Now here’s a unitasker I get get behind! How ridiculous!

  16. posted by Andy Chow on

    I always get surprised at what useless products are out there. Thank you for this article.

  17. posted by Jack on

    There are a lot of small wineries out there, more than most people realize, someone has to sell them corks. I wouldn’t recommend that for anyone’s home, but if you want an order for 10,000 corks it’s a total buy.

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