Unitasker Wednesday: Cauliflower Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes โ€” we donโ€™t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m glad reader Jeri included a description with her submission of this week’s unitasker because I had no idea what it was just looking at the image:

I didn’t even know Cauliflower Corers were a thing. Where I come from, tubes with sharp things on the end of them are used for digging holes for fence posts.

Maybe, and I loosely use the word maybe, someone working in a restaurant that serves a ridiculous amount of cauliflower might be able to use such a device. However, I still would assume using a knife would be faster — it only takes five cuts to completely remove a cauliflower’s core with a knife. I also know a knife works on every size head of cauliflower, whereas this device would shred up a small head of cauliflower. For home use, this device is complete overkill and would take up way more storage space than a multipurpose knife.

(Don’t know how to quickly core a cauliflower without this device? eHow has a short video posted on YouTube explaining how easy it is to remove the core from cauliflower.)

I tried to come up with legitimate suggestions for ways to be able to use this on something other than cauliflower, and, except for using it on the obvious broccoli or to dig holes for fence posts, I was stumped. It possibly looks like it could be useful on a first-generation Diaper Genie. The plastic liner cutter that comes with the old Diaper Genies is pretty much worthless. However, scissors work just fine, so I’m still at a loss for legitimate alternate uses for the Cauliflower Corer. Attach it to an enormous pastry bag to decorate a giant cake? Wear it as a dangerous hat?

Thank you, Jeri, for finding and sharing with us this incredibly specific unitasker.

18 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Cauliflower Corer”

  1. posted by Mackenzie on

    Cauliflower has a core? I thought it was just white broccoli, and that you eat the whole thing…just like broccoli.

  2. posted by priest's wife on

    It looks dangerous- I would put something like this in my small gadget drawer, but it wouldn’t lie flat. I see bad cuts in my future

  3. posted by @R on

    I don’t know; my son snapped one of my favorite knives coring cauliflower not long ago. Maybe there’s a place for a cauliflower corer! (No, I really do not understand how he managed to break a knife on cauliflower.)

  4. posted by Liz E. on

    I have to admit that, imagining myself using this contraption, it could also double as a finger-severing device. How are you supposed to hold the head of cauliflower still? Or do you sit the corer upright and jam the veggie on top of it? Ouch. My multipurpose knife works just fine, thank you.

  5. posted by danielle on

    That thing just looks dangerous! And yet another good reason to not eat cauliflower ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Mackenzie — This thing is to detach the core that holds the florets together, not individual stems. The device is about the size of a drinking glass.

  7. posted by chacha1 on

    Good gracious. It’s not often that a unitasker is both ridiculous and threatening.

    I can break down a cauliflower of any size to nice saute-able bits, with a plain old knife, in less than a minute – and my knife skills aren’t that great.

  8. posted by Alice F. on

    I was waiting eagerly for someone to defend this thing – often that’s the most entertaining part of Unitasker Wednesdays. But no luck so far with this one. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. posted by Nana on

    I was going to suggest that it might double as a pineapple corer…but since it’s too big, too sharp and too stupid for anyone to own…never mind.

  10. posted by Say What? on

    You know that rude expression: “He reamed me another one”? I think this is the tool that performs that operation…

  11. posted by ninakk on

    I thought it was a pen jar at first sight.

  12. posted by Laetitia in Australia on

    I’m with Mackenzie – eat the whole thing, florets and stem. I’m also confused, if you rip out the stem with this thing, won’t you also take out the florets in the middle of the top?

  13. posted by Jacki Hollywood Brown on

    It might be useful for:
    – digging fence post holes for scale models fences to go with a back yard model train set
    – digging holes in which to plant tulip bulbs
    – tool for do it yourself brain surgery???

  14. posted by Jodie on

    I never been a cauliflower fan… I’m more of a broccoli lover. I showed my sister this, who loves cauliflower even she was like “My kids would probably hurt themselves just having this around the house. Alice F. I don’t thing someone will defend this at all!!

  15. posted by momofthree on

    I click on the site, I see a jagged edged soup can and don’t read any further. I sit and ponder why a sane minded woman would post such a picture….then it dawns on me…it’s Unitaskter Wednesday….and I read on and giggle to myself…..

    Good gravy, use a knife and save your hard earned money if you like cauliflower that much!!

  16. posted by Joe Stirt aka bookofjoe on

    Jacki Hollywood Brown’s third suggestion โ€” repurposing it as tool for home trephination โ€” seems the best defense possible. I must say that even after I came across the device and posted it โ€” such that Jeri Dansky took notice and sent it viral โ€” I never thought outside the batterie de cuisine box far enough to envision it in the neurosurgical arena. That’s why we come here, right?

  17. posted by Rich on

    Yeah, cut off the florets, then slice the stem (“core”, if you must) into thin rings and boil/steam the whole lot together – yum! Same as for broccoli.

    With a little melted cheese on top, maybe some breadcrumbs before toasting under a grill (broiler). Delicious.

    No need to waste all that food by throwing the core away or composting it!

  18. posted by Benjamin on

    After reading “I tried to come up with legitimate suggestions for ways to be able to use this on something other than cauliflower, and, except for using it on the obvious broccoli or to dig holes for fence posts, I was stumped.”, I was waiting for the “no pun intended” or “pun intended.”

    Thanks for this site and the humor that it brings!! The humor certainly is not unitasker.

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