Unitasker Wednesday: Sküüzi

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t have much issue with this week’s unitasker selection of the Sküüzi, “the Scandinavian koozie.” It’s an adorable little mitten and koozie …

… except it appears to have a fatal flaw.

If it’s cold enough outdoors that you need to wear gloves, isn’t it cold enough outdoors to keep your beer cold without a koozie?

Thanks to reader Alv for sending this one our way.

24 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Sküüzi”

  1. posted by Fran on

    It insulates your hand from your cold beer?

  2. posted by Robbo on

    You’re making an incorrect assumption.
    Koozies are not meant to keep your beer cold; they are meant to keep your hand from getting cold. If your beer has been in the cooler for a long, long time, then it can literally be ice cold. Holding on to an ice cube for as long as it takes to drink a beer can get uncomfortable in any weather, which is why we have koozies.

  3. posted by Debra on

    Wouldn’t wearing a mitten do the same thing?

  4. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Debra — Exactly my point. A glove obliterates the need for a skuuzi.

  5. posted by Elizabeth on

    I think if you click on the small pictures below the item in Amazon you will see the point of this (such as it is): the base of the ‘glove’ is knitted together. So the bottle is effectively encased in a ‘cooler’ with a glove attached and there is no risk of a cold/wet bottle falling through your hands because of a lack of grip from woollen gloves.

    It’s difficult to describe and i can’t post the picture.

    Although I still can’t imagine being outside anywhere in such low temperatures for long enough to want to drink a cold drink.

  6. posted by Joe Leyba on

    Living in Minnesota I can see the genius behind this.

  7. posted by stagepin on

    To be fair, this isn’t a unitasker. It’s an update of a historical model. Henry VIII had, as one example, a pair of locking gauntlets to prevent dropping his weapon during combat. (Picture: http://tinyurl.com/77cy3qs)

    So, obviously, after finishing your beer while standing ankle deep in snow, you can grab a sword and not drop it whilst you are fighting in the same ankle-deep snow.

    I didn’t say it was a *useful* multitasker…

  8. posted by WilliamB on

    It’s to protect the nice cold beer from your too-warm hand, of course. (Now why a glove wouldn’t do the same thing I don’t know.)

  9. posted by Pete on

    If it’s cold enough outside that I need gloves, I want a warm drink. Give me a Hot Toddy or Irish Coffee

  10. posted by Bridget on

    I’m thinking this would have a big following in sports stadiums (with plastic bottles). Those Sounders FC fans are out there for anything, with their beers.

  11. posted by Bren on

    It makes me shudder when I see the letter ü described as being “Scandinavian”. No Scandinavian language uses it. The most prominenet examples of languages that do use it are German and Turkish. Those are hardly Scandinavian.

    Apart from that, this would actually be very useful in cold weather. And yes, as someone else pointed out, it is designed to keep your hand warm, not your drink cold.

  12. posted by Bren on

    Sorry, that was supposed to be ‘prominent’.

  13. posted by Pat on

    Cold beer while cross-country skiing and getting overheated? Sure. But $30 for one hand? Where is my matching mitten for my left hand? And does it work well as a mitten when I am not holding a beer? And what do lefties do? Nice knitting, by the way.

  14. posted by Jonathan @ punchlifeintheface on

    I’ve always said that if you’re drinking your beer slowly enough to need a koozie, you’re doing it wrong.
    That’s probably just the Australian in me coming out though.

  15. posted by CM on

    I hate to say this, but my first thought was that with this, the beer won’t fall through your hand as you get to drunk to grip it properly.

  16. posted by Seven2Seven8 on

    If it’s cold enough to need a glove (I guess your other hand is relegated to your pocket, once you’ve pried open the bottle), why wouldn’t you want something that would allow you to use your hand when you put the beer down? I struggle with mittens, and this is like a mitten where your fingers and thumb are sewn together. How are you supposed to enjoy the beer and update Facebook at the same time? Remove left hand from pocket, put down the beer, take off the Skuuzi, update, get cold hands. Put Skuuzi back on, reinsert beer, put phone and left hand back in pocket, resume. It may work whilst drinking a beer outside in the cold, but it makes everything else unnecessarily difficult.

  17. posted by Small Time Drinker on

    I so want one of these to keep my drinking hand warm! Thanks for your post it inspired me to write one on the usefulness. (Sorry I know you don’t want people to buy these.)

  18. posted by Leiah on

    Haha, there’s a 50% off Groupon for this thing today! http://www.groupon.com/ch/good.....spb-skuuzi

  19. posted by Nadia on

    Isn’t what a stubbie holder does the same thing? Keeps your hands from getting cold from the beer bottle?

  20. posted by Melissa A. on

    I thought the point of these was so you could drink beer outside without your hand getting cold. Would be useful in Canada.

  21. posted by Natalie in West Oz on

    Ok, so… you’re sitting outside during one of Western Australia’s summer days. Its 38 degrees celcius (thats somewhere near 100f). You’re already dripping with sweat and someone wants you to put on a glove??? I’ll take Nadia’s stubby holder, thanks! Or I’ll hold the ice cold can and be thankful that at least one part of me isnt melting!

  22. posted by catmom on

    I am with you Debra, a glove or mitten would do just fine. My husband drinks beer and he drinks it indoors no matter what the weather is outside.

  23. posted by jkm on

    obviously this thing is meant to keep your beer from freezing. (Which renders it undrinkable). If you need to make beer ice-pops don’t use the bottle!

  24. posted by Kristín on

    This made me laugh. Although I don’t have one of those, the fact that you can’t see it’s usefulness makes me assume you haven’t gone camping in Iceland in the summer. Those long summer nights can get pretty cold 🙂

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