Unitasker Wednesday: Old Fashioned S’Mores Maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I want you to focus for a second on this device’s name: The Old Fashioned S’Mores Maker. Imagine it, in ye olde tymes, our forefathers plugging a large metal device exactly like this into their walls “virtually anywhere, in the home,” to enjoy their s’mores. They didn’t need a campfire or sticks, they simply waited for a green light to illuminate indicating that the device was ready and then they roasted their bamboo skewered marshmallows via heat lamp.

Um, right. It happened exactly like that, Old Fashioned S’mores Maker inventors …

Surprisingly, this swell unitasker offends me less than last week’s. However, I’m still completely perplexed by it. Why does anyone need a special device to make s’mores? Assuming you don’t have a campfire or grill nearby, can’t you just use a burner on the stove or a microwave or a fireplace? Or wait, maybe just eat another snack? I’m so confused by all these s’mores devices.

Finally, if you want another good laugh, you have to read the review of the device on Amazon. It’s really funny.

30 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Old Fashioned S’Mores Maker”

  1. posted by Rally on

    The price tag is pretty offensive though – on sale for 39.99? Yet another device to take up room on your counter. Gotta love that review!

  2. posted by Rally on

    Oops, accidentally added the .99; it’s $39.00

  3. posted by Kay Cee on

    I think it’s all part of a larger trend, trying to make easy things seem hard, especially in cooking. I mean, you already understand this, that there are a million gadgets to badly and messily replace a nice sharp knife. But what if, like the person from England on the previous thread, you’d never made a s’more? You might start to believe that this is the “right” way to do it. You’re increasingly distanced from simplicity by unnecessary gadgetry. It stinks.

    And I’m saying this as a person who didn’t learn to make buttercream frosting until her 30’s.

  4. posted by cheesehead4ever on

    That device looks absolutely huge. I wonder how much space it would take up.

  5. posted by Heidi on

    Shoot, if I want a s’more and there’s no campfire handy, I’ll just use marshmallow fluff. Works well enough for me!

  6. posted by jodi on

    oh my gosh, if you think the product description is funny, be sure to read the product reviews!!

  7. posted by Kim on

    That Amazon review is hilarious! As is your post. I bet the reviewer did indeed get quite a shock. LOL !!!!!

  8. posted by Carrie C on

    The Amazon review is awesome!

    Unitasker Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.

  9. posted by Keter on

    @Kay Cee – You hit the nail on the head. If you look around you in other areas of your life, you see the same thing. It’s a derivative of “manufactured consent” and epitomized by commercials that make people look like bumbling idiots until they get their hands on a unitasker…this is unhealthy in every aspect.

    Kudos to the reviewer…unitasker PWNED!

  10. posted by Charlotte on

    I’d like to suggest a “Multitasker Monday” column. It would be great to see what gadgets out there are actually useful!!

  11. posted by Robin on

    Ok, I would never buy this and I think it’s ridiculous but I do have a point about S’mores. I LOVE S’mores. LOVE them. That said, I hate camping and haven’t been in a place where a campfire would be acceptable in about 20 years. I also have electric burners (and, I’ve tried but roasting marshmallows over electric burners doesn’t work well), and I’ve no fireplace. Yes, I could eat another snack but I really miss S’mores and I haven’t had them in AGES. So, this could ALMOST appeal to me except that it’s stupid and takes up space I don’t have. I just wanted to make the point that life without S’mores is lacking and there just aren’t that many ways to make good S’mores without fire.

  12. posted by Dave on

    A few months ago, my 8 year old stepdaughter had to miss a Girl Scout event (due to a couple of dumb circumstances) that involved a campfire and s’mores and the whole nine yards… So back at home, I made some with her, right in the dining room, using ye olde Kitchen Blowtorch! We had a blast and sent pics of it to her mom, who was away at the time.

  13. posted by henave on

    Don’t forget to buy the extended warranty offered with this item! I guess everything really does have extended warranty coverage…

    That review on the site was hysterical- I almost choked on my coffee:)

  14. posted by chacha1 on

    I have been known to toast marshmallows over my gas burners, but in an electric kitchen, the brulee torch is an acceptable substitute.

    Certainly, this thing is excess to requirements … and a sad commentary on how Americans get easily caught by “nostalgia” for a fictitious golden age.

  15. posted by Rally on

    We have a chiminea (it’s a freestanding semi-enclosed firepit, popular here in the Southwest) for roasting the marshmallows, but apparently Paula Deen has a recipe for oven-toasted s’mores:


  16. posted by DeAnna on

    “You’re killing me, Smalls!” Love that review.

  17. posted by Nate on

    I actually wrote the review on Amazon. I’m glad so many people thought it was funny! I started getting comments on it today and noticed the ‘helpful review’ count was skyrocketing. After a bit of searching I found this blog – great site btw, made me laugh.

  18. posted by gene on

    Unitasker, loud and proud!!!

  19. posted by katrina in Australia on

    What are ‘smores? From the picture I’m guessing either tiny bread rolls or marshmallows that are toasted by flame.

    I could do that with BBQ or a grill/broiler and a kitchen candle!

  20. posted by Jim on

    @ Nate – thanks for your Amazon.com review. Did you actually buy one of these? I also like the product description: “No more splintered fingers or dropping marshmallows in the dirt with this convenient device!” Ewww – I hate going outside in nature and putting marshmallows on a real stick. And now I guess you can drop them on your clean floor rather than the dirt.

  21. posted by writing all the time on

    Oh, oh, oh – go back to the link and scroll down to ‘Freeze-Dried Ice Cream Sandwiches’. Evidently, you either need them on a camping trip, (what the heck?) or in your survival/disaster kit.

    Wonders never cease.

  22. posted by Nate on

    @ Jim: Fortunately no, I didn’t buy one of those contraptions. My preferred apparatus of indoor s’mores making is a $3 candle and a fondue skewer. I probably shouldn’t have broken character though – things could have gotten a lot funnier that way.

  23. posted by Cordelia on

    I’m pretty sure an “old fashioned S’mores maker” is a stick.

    Just sayin’. 😛

  24. posted by Judy on

    I do not ever recall such advertizing or recipes for
    S’mores as ther have been this summer. One company has
    even come out with a “flat” marshmallow to use to make
    them. There have been lots of coupons out requing the combined purchase of the graham crackers, cholcolate, and
    marshmallows. The grocery ads have run these 3 items as
    sale specials, too. Has anyone else noticed how making
    S’mores has been overworked this summer?

  25. posted by Rally on

    @katrina in australia – s’mores are graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars (like Hershey’s) put together as a sandwich. The marshmallows are roasted or toasted, traditionally over a campfire. This way, you can squish them into the sandwich form. Some folks make the sandwich first and then heat up the s’mores (like wrapped in foil on the grill is one example). They’re called “s’mores” because you always want some more (s’more)!

  26. posted by Janelle on

    I thought the special “S’mores Sticks” I saw at the grocery store was bad. This is worse (and last week’s is the absolute worst).

  27. posted by Kat on

    And to think that just this evening I was treated to a toasted marshmallow as part of a dessert selection at a banquet at the University of Connecticut! The “chef” individually browned each marshmallow (speared by a skewer) with a giant blow torch. Effective, but somewhat lacking in the campfire smell.

    Of course this is also where you can find squirrel underwear in the book store – a non-tasker I’m sure – with equally entertaining amazon reviews:

  28. posted by Shalin on

    This also offends me less than last week’s “s’mores maker”. Not a bad presentation/style – it’s kinda steampunk-ish too. Still, not quite the real thing…

    Also, this may not totally be a unitasker – you might be able to skewer some hot dogs & sausages and heat them up…if the thing gets hot enough.


  29. posted by Randy on

    I love this thing!

Comments are closed.