Unitasker Wednesday: Woozie

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes โ€” we donโ€™t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Oh, Woozie, who is your intended target market? Who needs you? Regular wine drinkers know better than to pour more wine into their glasses than they can consume before the drink gets too warm. And, if I’m to believe fancy music videos, people who party on yachts and tropical beaches can afford wine buckets and coolers to keep bottles chilly.

Maybe guests at the Royal Wedding Reception will have these on their wine glasses as they stroll through the gardens? If so, I bet there is a fight over who gets the leopard print.

Thanks to reader Matheus for sharing this unitasker with us.

20 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Woozie”

  1. posted by Keter on

    I have always bought or made little slipcovers, usually from terry cloth and elastic, for my glassware. The reason is not so much to keep the drink cold, but to absorb the condensate sweat from the glass, which makes the glass slippery and drips all over the table and your clothes. These things are really useful in areas where high humidity is a problem. They store easily in a plastic food container stuck into my utensil drawer and can be washed in the washing machine.

  2. posted by Anita on

    … but Erin, you’re completely neglecting the other uses of this product:

    – it doesn’t just keep your wine cold, it also keeps your hand warm by preventing it from coming into contact with the cold glass!
    – not only do your hands stay warm, they also stay dry! Condensation can be SO unpleasant on your fingers, after all…
    – it improves your mingling; now you don’t have to worry that your hands are too cold and wet to make new acquaintances, AND you don’t have to wipe your hand on your pants before every handshake!
    – it prevents you from leaving finger prints on your glass. Because planning to commit a crime at a party shouldn’t prevent you from enjoying a glass of white wine (at its optimal temperature, of course)

    Also: is that BLUE zebra print?… and is it just me, or does the “cheetah” print look more like giraffe print?

  3. posted by Ed Decatur on

    Those are ugly!

  4. posted by Ed Decatur on

    If you’re drinking white wine, and want it to stay chilled, hold the glass by the stem. If you’re drinking red wine, and want it to warm up, hold the glass by the bowl.

  5. posted by Melanie on


  6. posted by AntiSlice on

    …I first thought it was to hide how much you were drinking.

  7. posted by Jen on

    Why even bother with stemware if you’re going to stick that monstrosity on it? This is literally one of the tackiest things I’ve ever seen. If you’re that worried about the temperature of your wine, why don’t you use a mug? It certainly wouldn’t look worse than this.

  8. posted by ninakk on

    Stemware is usually held at the stem so I don’t get this one except for when there’s humidity due to high temperatures like someone commented above.

  9. posted by Nana on

    Aside from hiding how much you’re drinking, I’d like one to hide the fact that I’m not drinking. Water or whatever can be disguised and no one knows that I’m sober!

  10. posted by Carol on

    My first thought when I clicked on the page, before I read the anything, was that it looked like a diaper of some sort.

  11. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Carol — If you create a wine glass diaper, I PROMISE to feature it on Unitasker Wednesday! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. posted by Robin on

    I’m notorious for diapering my drinks (usually with napkins) because of the condensation. That said, I drink Coke out of Big Gulp cups – not lovely stemware.

    Admittedly, this could serve as a replacement for those little ornaments they sell so you can tell which drink is yours. I’ve a friend who LOVES those things and, since there are four of these, four different people could identify their drink with ease. The little ornaments are a lot less ugly though…

  13. posted by Mimi on

    this is so tawdry that i had to lough ๐Ÿ™‚ and i absolutely like the diaper connotation!

  14. posted by *pol on

    @ AntiSlice — I thought it was to hide the drink too!

  15. posted by Chris on

    Hi I have not commented on your site in some time. I recommend your book and website all the time. I bought your book and it is good. But this made me do a double take and a he$& no. I love me some wine but if I have to put a coozy on it then it is time to hang up the drinking for the night. What a waste of a better idea that was never created because the inventor thought of this. Umm…Yeah. Not quite sure if your investors will be paid back.

    I would like to see this diaper thing though. Thanks for the laughs.

    Commented using iPad, sorry for any spelling mistakes.

  16. posted by tmichelle on

    I think drinking it straight from the bottle in a paper bag is classier than this!

  17. posted by priest's wife on

    more junk for Westerners made in China…. ๐Ÿ™

  18. posted by Chaya on

    Dude…it’s classier to put an ice cube in your wine. ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. posted by klutzgrrl on

    Oh I don’t know. Now if it was purple with pink diamantes ….. *cough* *gag*

  20. posted by Tony on

    Only 16 left in stock! Where’s my credit card…

Comments are closed.