Unitasker Wednesday: Breading Pans

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Williams-Sonoma has so many wonderful unitaskers that it almost feels like I’m being lazy when I use one of them in the weekly feature. This week’s unitasker is so specific, though, I just had to bring it to your attention. Introducing the Stainless Steel Breading Pan, Set of 3:

I know you could use these pans for other things (and if you own them, I really hope you do), but as advertised they are strictly for your breading pan needs. You know, for ALL those times you bread things at home. You super breader, you. You’re a breading monster! Bread, bread, bread!

I imagine, however, if you are a regular breader, you already have a system set up for breading things. I bet you use plates and bowls you already own — things you didn’t have to rush out to buy, and things that are wholly effective at breading all those things you bread.

If you are a master breader, and these things speak to you, can you please invite me over for dinner? Because right now, my mouth is watering thinking about fried chicken. I don’t even like chicken, and these Stainless Steel Breading Pans are making me crave it. Crispy, spicy, fried chicken … Mmmmmmmm … Darn you, unitasker!!

44 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Breading Pans”

  1. posted by Julie on

    And all this time I’ve been using shallow pie pans for my breading needs. How silly of me when I could have spent $35 to get special breading pans…

  2. posted by Allison on

    The comments about this item on the WS site are so funny. Somebody actually wrote that their clean-up time has been cut in half as these pans link together. How much time does it take to wipe up a little egg wash or some bread crumbs? I’m trying to envision what else you could do with these pans and haven’t come up with anything yet, but I do look forward to the future comments telling me how wrong I am.

  3. posted by Jacquie on

    I was actually thinking they were a nice, individual size roasting tin, for when I have a pork chop and DH has a tuna steak so they’ll both sit on the same shelf in the oven. And they link together to make them easy to slide in and out.

    And then you go and spoil it all (remember the tune now?) by saying something stupid like “They’re for breading!” Curses, now I can’t use them for cooking.

  4. posted by Christine on

    I think what gets me is the fact that there are TWENTY-NINE reviews stating how great these things are.

    Sorry – typing w/one hand as I (coincidentally) finish eating some leftover friend chicken for lunch (and yes, it was delicious).

  5. posted by Jenn on

    Breading only involves a bowl (for the egg) and two pieces of wax paper === please, this is one of the silliest things I’ve seen in a while.

  6. posted by Rue on

    I use one bowl for egg wash, and then throw my breading mixture in a ziploc bag, shake it up with the meat in it, and voila! Breading done. How dare WS make these three pans that give me more things to wash? A pox upon their house!

  7. posted by Nana on

    When I saw this in the WS catalog, my immediate thought was “Mom died too soon.” She probably breaded fish at least four or five times a year…and she used a bowl or plate for the egg and wax paper for the breading, with 20-second clean-up. She’d have been impressed!

  8. posted by Sarah on

    And here I’ve been using pyrex dishes that are just about the same size and can also be used for leftovers, baking, etc. Clearly I’ve been Doing It Wrong.

  9. posted by melanie on

    Okay while I do agree that these unitasker Wednesdays are something that I look forward to, I have to admit that I have a similar product from pampered chef. And I really like them! I am definitely an un-clutterer. what I love about my set is that they all stack together and take up virtually no room, and it really does make breading my chicken easier.
    But go ahead, laugh on if you must!

  10. posted by Lynn on

    HA HA! Thanks for the laugh. I have these pans and even used them last night to bread my fish. My husband bought them a while ago and I guess I wasn’t paying attention since I didn’t realize he bought them at WS (his favorite store) and that they were $35. I guess I am going to have to find another use for them! 🙂

  11. posted by LaVidaMD on

    I got these for my parents as a Christmas gift. They use the pans all the time (not just for breading things).

  12. posted by Mario . on

    Kindly let me explain how these pans saved my life and that of my family.

    THE FLOUR PAN:
    It was 1942 and I was doing duty as part of the silent service. Running deep and quiet as we say on the subs. Hunting U-Boats was the one and only job for the day. With luck on our side we saw a floating U-Boat about 1000 South by South West of the Falkland Islands. We saw the smoke steaming from the ship with the men on the surface waving white flags. An injured German sub with her men surrendering! Our goal was to capture the sub, take the prisoners, and claim victory for yet another day in the big blue drink.
    But as we approached the German sub, we were shocked. It was nothing more than a clever ruse! A trap of the highest order! They started shooting from pistols so we shot back. Two subs floating along side each other, men atop shooting small arms at each other. Some men fell and dropped into the ocean. Others kept shooting back lucky to have been missed. Pop! Pop! Pop! I looked to my left and the radio engineer stared me deep into my eyes and we spoke without words. The Enigma machine! If we could capture it, we could change the war! A German U-Boat had never been captured yet and we could be the ones to do it.
    So in the middle of the fire we dived into the water and swam around to the other side of the boat. Behind german backs we slid into the hatch and popped small arms fire into anything that moved. I followed Jack (the Radio engineer) as he searched for the radio room and upon finding it, we saw our treasure. In the fright of rising to the surface in a broken boat the German seamen forgot to destroy their Enigma machine! But it was too heavy to carry and too cumbersome to share the load as-is, so I ran into the sub kitchen (subs were very small back then and at this point the only remaining Germans were at the top fighting our men, we could still hear the pop sounds like tiny but deadly fireworks) and I found the perfect shape to carry the machine. A most robust Flouring Pan.
    I brought it to Kevin and we carried the heavy Enigma machine on the pan as two men would carry a wounded man on a stretcher. We made our way out the sub where our boys won the good fight. Many of them took the machine and started to carry it to our boat as one last German hiding behind the periscope stood up and aimed right at me. I held the Flour Pan to my head and prayed. A shot rang out. A second shot rang out. I lowered the pan and stared at my mates in dis-belief. The German had shot at me and the Flour Pan easily stopped the round from his Luger Pistol! The second shot was one of my boys putting a permanent stop to the shooters antics. Victory on the high seas, indeed, and my life saved by the Flour Pan.

    THE DIPPING PAN:
    Back from from the war I was a fox with the ladies, bravado and ego unmatched. One dame who had a well turned angle caught both my eye and my heart. Before you know it we’re home as I tend to her round belly with another rub of Crisco to keep her skin supple as smooth as out child gestated within. Luck was not on our side this night however, and eight months into the pregnancy Dorris looked at me in the eyes with the same stare I remember from that radio engineer. Panic and excitement. Then I heard her cry and squat and I knew our child was ready to enter this world, timing be damned!
    But the mid-wife was away for the weekend! What was I do to? I cranked up the phone to get a charge and told the operator, “Betty, It’s Mario, I need Johnny to drive his Medical-Wagon here right away!” Betty said Johnny was at the Marker house helping little Sally with her crutches so we were on our own for the time. Drat!
    My girl cried again and I knew it was time and I had to man up and deliver this child on my own. I’ve seen the photos in the hospital, how hard could it be? Catch the baby into something clean and sturdy and cut the cord with scissors and call it a day. But how to catch the baby? The house was in disorder and every room unkempt. What to do? So I did the same thing I did on that sub. I ran to the kitchen and looked for a trusty pan to save the day. Behold, the Dipping Pan! Deep, strong, pressed from a single piece of metal it fed me and my wife and would now nurture our baby on it’s very first day. I grabbed the Dipping Pan and ran to the bedroom and saw my child was already half way into this world! As an outfield catcher would dive for a fly-ball I ran and dove towards my wife’s shaking legs and landed arm out-stretched with the pan up against her unmentionables. At that exact moment, with not a second to spare, my child plopped into it’s first loving cradle. The Dipping Pan.

    THE BREADING PAN:
    Haven’t used it yet.

  13. posted by MsJeni on

    I have the pampered chef plastic version…I like to use it for fried zuchinni…ummmm….but curently I use the bigger pan for my beading crafts. 🙂 So one of them are not a uni-tasker, just the two others that sit in the cupboard. 😛
    I’m getting some zuchinni today. YEAH!

  14. posted by Marti on

    OMGawsh Mario – I read every word!!

  15. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Mario —

    “THE BREADING PAN:
    Haven’t used it yet.”

    Genius.

  16. posted by Dawn F on

    Okay Mario – I just completedly ignored my actual job while I read your comment.

    And it was worth every freakin’ second!

    Hilarious, dude.

    Unitasker Wednesdays really are special.

  17. posted by Mary O. on

    Mario, do you do this for a living?

    I would love to read more! Thanks!

    And thanks to you, too, Erin, for Unclutterer and Unitasker Wednesdays!

  18. posted by Sheryl on

    Mario – Don’t have time to read your comment right now, but catcha later, dude! 😉

    I have only TWO WORDS – Ziploc bags. For both the egg wash AND the breading. Zero cleanup.

  19. posted by Sheryl on

    Or should I say…MINIMAL cleanup.

  20. posted by Donna on

    Alternate use:
    Pan 1. Brownies
    Pan 2. Brownies with Chocolate Chips
    Pan 3. Brownies with Chocolate Chips and Walnuts

  21. posted by CJ on

    I received these as a wedding present from a chef. At first I thought the same thing you have mentioned here – why not just continue using bowls? But like another commenter said, they stack neatly and take up very little space. More importantly, though: they take up less space in the dishwasher than the bowls I’d normally use for breading. Saving precious dishwasher space is worth sacrificing the minimal space these take up on the cabinet shelf. To me, at least.

  22. posted by Lee on

    I assumed these were “bread pans”, just in a new shape and much prettier for my tastey bread. They look similar to one we inherited 30+ years ago and use mainly for cornbread, which we eat with chili (usually at least 2x a week in the fall and winter). 3 would have made enough for a party and i could have baked them all at once – what a time saver.

    As for breading, I put each ingredient needed for breadding in a lidded Tupperware containter and pass what I’m breadding through each container. Hold the lid, shake the container, remove the piece, and pass it to the next container. Done.

    These are cuter, but you can’t beat the Tupperware system. i’m sure I could find a use for these charmers, perhaps as serving plates for serving my breaded foods.

  23. posted by momof3 on

    OMG, Mario—you single handedly made my day!! What a hoot. And I could hear while I was reading this was the guy from from Seinfeld who played J. Peterman…

    I am from the one bowl, wax paper mind set. and to think of what I could do with the $35 I saved!

  24. posted by Sarah on

    I use gladware containers, because I’m a bad unclutterer and have more gladware bottoms than lids–by a long shot.

    Actually, it occurs to me I may have 3x as many bottoms as lids. I may need to clean out that drawer over the long weekend.

  25. posted by Wendy on

    I use my pasta bowls, shallower then a regular bowl but the rim keeps the stuff contained better then a plate.

  26. posted by April F. on

    LOVE this, Erin. Bread, bread, bread! 😀

  27. posted by Patty on

    Mario, I think I love you.

  28. posted by Julie K on

    ¡Viva Mario!

  29. posted by Jenifer on

    If you read only one comment this year, make it Mario’s.

  30. posted by bandicoot on

    mario, that was absolutely HYSTERICAL!!
    (my husband is an absolute maniac for all things u-boat and i have caught it by marital osmosis).

    bread! bread! bread!

  31. posted by WilliamB on

    I’m not about to bu this but, since they’re metal, they could be used for a lot of different baking jobs as well as for breading. What kills me is that they’re *markteed* as unitaskers. I would think that anyone who cooks enough to do a bound breading would realize these can be used for other jobs.

    Actually, I take it back. What really kills me is Mario’s response. Awesome, dude! If you’re a writer, use this as a sample.

  32. posted by sara on

    Dear Erin, just for a moment you went very Lady Gaga, with the breading monster thing.

  33. posted by Lilliane P on

    Agree with William’s comment, Mario if you’re a writer, use this as a sample. I read every word, totally engrossing. Hilarious.

    More, more!!!!!!!!!!! There are other unitaskers and subjects to come.

    Do you have a blog somewhere? I mean, I can’t put just Mario into google and find it if you have one now, can I?

  34. posted by Lilliane P on

    Mario, are you channeling Mario Puzo? Are you, by any chance, his son?

  35. posted by Steve on

    When my wife first brought these home, I thought they were ridiculous. After living with them for a while, I agree with CJ. They take up very little space in the cabinets and in the dishwasher. They are actually much more useful for tasks other than breading. I use them to marinade items and carry them outside to the grill, thus avoiding having marinades splashing around as I head out the door. If you consider all the potential uses for them, they are actually quite useful.

  36. posted by Evil Heather on

    OMG – you have got to be kidding me. People actually by things like this? I am so in the wrong business. Apparently the money is in marketing useless objects to naive consumers.

  37. posted by Mario . on

    Thank you all for your kind notes. See you next Wednesday.

  38. posted by Ann on

    I might not spend $35 on these, primarily because I’ve finally found enough cast iron pans the right size, but they’d be perfect for my toaster oven. I live in a very hot climate, and use it all summer long, but have to search to find good pans for it that aren’t nonstick but are the right size (small and shallow enough, but fill up most of the rack).

    I think two of these would fit on one rack, and they’re stainless steel. Filling up the oven (and the dishwasher, as a couple of people have mentioned) efficiently saves energy and doesn’t heat up the house as much. They’d also be the perfect size to go on the narrow bun-warming rack above my grill (sometimes bread burns just on the rack alone).

    Also, as an experienced breader, these do seem like they’d work well and probably be cheaper in the long run than ziploc bags and wax paper, although I’d never buy them for that purpose alone. But I can’t imagine somebody being unable to see other uses for three small, stainless steel pans. I especially liked the idea one poster had for when she and her husband eat different meals. Having a picky eater in my household, I frequently make a separate dish (without peppers, etc.) This would be useful for people with allergies, too. Yes, most experienced cooks have pans already. But for people just starting out or for a small toaster oven, these could certainly perform more than one task.

  39. posted by Mario . on

    Sorry, couldn’t wait until next week after I saw Ann’s post. I must respond just once.

    @Ann

    So “Ann” says, “Also, as an experienced breader…”

    Might I inquire as to where you got your Breading Credentials? Was it an accredited school recognized by Wonder? Where may I download your published doctorate dissertation on Crumb Physics and Dipping Dynamics? There are many readers on this site that now find themselves squarely in the wrong, for now they – and I – realize that we are in fact not “experienced breaders”. I wish I had a degree from Pepridge Farm Univeristy to hang on my wall and the knowledge in my head so I would never make such a blunder again.

    I crumble in shame as I rise to the occasion of admitting my panning of the trays to have been sliced the wrong way. I wonder if I’ll ever make such a loaf of myself again. I raise a glass to you and salute thee with admiration for your kind and gentle corrections. In the honorable clash of breading knowledge, up against your might, by observation of the aforementioned juxtaposition, we are toast.

  40. posted by Malcolm on

    Mario, words fail me …. where can we get more of your delightful comments? Sorry Ann – seems we are laughing at your expense – and I actually agree with you that there would be many uses for these small pans.

  41. posted by marvin edelstein on

    “All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!”
    Thanks for giving me these instructions. Every Wednesday. So I’m not confused.
    The concept itself is ridiculous. If products don’t sell, they’ll be dropped from the catalog. If they do sell, well, value is in the mind of the buyer. A Shoehorn is a unitasker type item that I have little use for…. should I laugh at them??

  42. posted by Lou on

    I’m gonna get them next time I see them on sale, Freecycle or Crazigslist. Commenters on Unitasker days are always worth reading & so are comments on the seller’s page. This one from WS: “Perfect little everything pans — and present
    I do not usually contribute to reviews but I see I may be the only one who goes beyond the stated use. This is my favorite shower, housewarming or wedding gift to give those who then have no idea how they got along without them. I actually buy an extra set and give people four pans. In addition to the intended use, they are great for so many other things — cake pans, warming up appetizers that have already been prepared (even serving in them), freezing small meals for another day. Everyone who gets these loves them!”

    Personally, I have lousy coordination. It takes me as long to clean up my mess after breading as it does to prep the food. One woman’s Unitasker is another wonan’s EUREKA!!

  43. posted by Nat on

    I admit that I wanted these when I saw them, but no way was I going to pay that much for them, especially since I’m sure I can get them for cheaper at a restaurant supply place. Thankfully, my in-laws gave us a warmer tray that had 3 pans that look a lot like these. Anyway, I just like the pans because they take up less space on our counter while breading than 3 full plates that my fish fillets never fit on anyway.

  44. posted by Emily on

    Craziglist?Is this where one should go to purchase Unitasker published items that crazy people are selling for less than the reasonable asking price they were originally sold for at Williams Sonoma and like?

    Mario, I would like to be have your babies, you need not be there delivery, breading tray at the ready! Although you will have got your $35 worth by that stage…

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