Unitasker Wednesday: The can grip

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes β€” we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Some weeks, I need to write a great amount of exposition about our featured unitasker because some folks might not understand why I believe a product lacks utility. This is not one of those weeks.

Introducing the Can Grip:

Why would I “instantly need to turn a can into a mug”?! Why?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY???!

Thanks to reader Scott for sending us this unitasker suggestion.

35 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: The can grip”

  1. posted by Kelly on

    Ok, I can see where this might actually be helpful in maybe 1 out of 10,000 cases. Say someone who suffers from Raynauds Syndrome (like myself) wants to drink an icy cold beverage right from the can, and doesn’t have gloves handy. The beverage could be quaffed without experiencing the pain of touching something cold.

    Sadly, the implement looks really flimsy, so I’d probably grab a towel to wrap around the can instead. πŸ™‚

  2. posted by david on

    I guess it keeps the can colder longer by not having your hand wrapped around it.

  3. posted by Alix on

    To keep your hands from getting wet and cold? To look classier when suckin’ down some suds (especially if you hold out your pinky as you drink)? No idea! This may be my favorite Unitasker to date…

  4. posted by Shawn on

    There are some people with hands that may not be able to securely grip a can. The handle may help with control and use.

  5. posted by Jen on

    If you didn’t want to hold the can, couldn’t you just pour it in a stein or a mug or something? This looks like a spill waiting to happen.

  6. posted by Reader on

    Sometimes I play the Devil’s Advocate, just to explore other ways of thinking about something.

    I’ve got nothing. If a can is too cold or wet I wrap it in a paper towel.

  7. posted by Reader on

    Is it possible that some people can’t wrap their hands around a can?

  8. posted by Anita on

    Maybe it’s just meant to make you look like a doofus at parties? In which case it’s brilliantly effective πŸ™‚

    Also: I can’t get over how awful the product photography is for this thing. Looks like a bad ebay ad.

  9. posted by Shalin on

    Why? To have yet another ridiculous trinket a company can give away at conferences with their name on it as advertising. That’s about the only useful thing I can think for this unitasker…


  10. posted by Philly on

    Seriously, though; if you can’t hold a can in your hand, how are you going to put this thing on and take it off anyway? I agree that a mug is a much better alternative.

  11. posted by Fern on

    Wow…how did I ever live without one?!

    Supposing you were unable to get your hands around cans for whatever reason, surely you would just pour the can into a mug or glass with a handle instead of buying one of these?

  12. posted by Rue on

    Makes it easier to hold when you’re trying to carry other things! There have been many cases when my hands have been full and I’ve been trying to juggle a can of Dr Pepper too. At least I could stick my wrist through this to hang on to the can!

  13. posted by xo on

    hmm… i do that sometimes when i drink from a can.

    but i use my hand. it’s big enough that i actually can grab the top with my thumb and the bottom with my pinky. … so it turns out my hands are probably the best multitasker i have. πŸ™‚

  14. posted by Mike on

    Yeah, there’s not much here. The only thing that springs to mind, a long-forgotten artifact from the disability law course I took back when I was a 2L, was that people who use mechanical assistance (whether due to paralysis or amputation etc) tend to have to use mugs and stemmed glasses to drink from, because the hooks/claws/grippers don’t go around cans or tumblers very well.

    The need for this unitasker even in THAT context is FURTHER narrowed because the disability would have to be bilateral. If I wore a hook for a hand, I could always pick up the can with… my remaining hand. I’d have to lack both hands, or the USE of both hands anyway, to actually need the adaptive accessory.

    And honestly? That’s a niche enough situation that it can probably be solved better on a case-by-case basis rather than manufacturing a unitasker for it. But of course that’s the entrepreneur’s problem, not ours. We can just refrain from buying it.

  15. posted by GirlOverboard on

    There’s always the option of… not drinking soda or canned beer. πŸ˜‰

    I’m not here to look down on anyone that does – I still sneak in a soda every now and then – but cutting out soda is healthier and creates less waste! I’m not even going to touch the canned beer issue, otherwise the beer snob in me will come out and I like this community too much for that lol.

  16. posted by Jen on

    From the Amazon customer reviews : “Bought a 5 pack of these for UCLA’s football opener and they were the hit of the tailgate. Really does bring class to the can!”

    Now, I’m not knocking canned beverages or tailgates. I enjoy both. But, I think the statement that this contraption brings class to a can at a tailgate party has to be a joke. A very funny joke.

  17. posted by Kelly on

    I will probably be ordering this, so thanks for this post. Why? Because 1) I really miss being able to easily drink a Coke or beer from the can, especially when I’m out and about. There isn’t always a mug handy; this I can carry in my purse. Also, because 2) I have a spinal cord injury–one of a myriad of disabilities which limit or destroy fine motor skills (including gripping) and upper body strength. I’m used to using specialized gadgets for everything from eating to brushing my teeth, but this is something I haven’t been able to find previously.

    I couldn’t use this without someone’s help putting it on the can–but then I can’t open the can myself, either.

    It sucks having the soul of an unclutterer living in such a unitasker-y body, believe me.

  18. posted by Alix on

    Sometimes I think we forget the meaning of “unitasker”. It’s not that a product can’t do *anything*, it’s an item whose usefulness is so finely pinpointed and/or whimsical and unnecessary that the product itself seems ridiculous. The vast, vast majority of us do not need this item and would be wasting our money if we bought it. But for some people, this product can (ha, see what I did there!!) serve a real purpose. It does not live in vain!

    So cheers to you, Kelly. Bottoms up!

  19. posted by Dawn F on

    This has got to be a joke. Please say it’s a joke and this isn’t a REAL product that somebody is selling!!!! Ugh – more plastic.

  20. posted by Tiffany on

    When will the left handed version be hitting the market?

  21. posted by Mike on

    @GirlOverboard –

    Decaf Diet Pepsi (and similar soda drinks) have 0 calories, 0 sugars, 0 carbs, 0 fat, and only 1% of your RDA of sodium. Unless you’re drinking water, your drink of choice is no healthier… especially if, as you admit, sometimes you choose beer. So, you know, “glass houses” and all that.

    And as for why I drink DDP and not water, that’s because I am thirsty, not dirty. πŸ™‚ (+50 points to anyone who knows THAT reference.)

    @Kelly –

    Thanks for explaining that firsthand based on your experience. I pretty much agreed with you in my previous post, but my experience was only secondhand, and I think hearing it “from the source” helps people better understand.

  22. posted by irishbell on

    This would be a handy dandy item for my Mom, who can hold a thinner handle with more ease and stability than a can or a glass. Personally I wouldn’t use it, but if you loe a beverage from a can and need to use a handle, this puppy is for you!

  23. posted by Pat on

    Good points by Alix, Mike, and Kelly! There’s a difference between “this is a unitasker” or “999 out of 1000 people shouldn’t need this” and “this object should not exist”.

    Especially for devices make it easier to perform X physical action, like lift, pour, or hold something — for these there’s almost always *a* valid use for them, even if only for 00.1% of people. That’s still a huge market. (For comparison, that’s about the rate of wheelchair use in younger people.) What’s wasteful is just consumers who buy things they don’t need and never use!

    We can feel smug compared to the hordes of buy-things-for-no-valid-reason-and-toss-’em-in-the-landfill people. But not so much towards the product itself: “*I* don’t need this to hold a can” isn’t a cause for smugness. The proper emotion for that is “gratitude” πŸ™‚

  24. posted by Erin Doland on

    @Mike, @Pat, and @Kelly — We choose unitaskers based on the majority of readers, so even if someone can use it, that doesn’t disqualify it as a candidate. As someone with a disability, I actually think products designed with my handicap in mind are really funny when applied to the general population. (I don’t think this product was designed for someone with a disability, though, even though it might be useful to some.) I should do an entire feature of products that I need that no one else does — fake skin, for example! Personally, I think laughter is an awesome medicine!!

    And, there will continue to be unitaskers featured on this site that someone, somewhere might have need to use. In fact, there hasn’t been a unitasker yet that someone didn’t need/want. Check the comments.

  25. posted by Ann on

    just read tiffany’s comment and woke up the baby by laughing…. left handed version… love it!

  26. posted by GirlOverboard on

    @ Mike – My drink of choice *is* plain water (or unsweetened tea) and I rarely drink much else. I indulge in the occasional beer or soda, but I mostly stick to water. Maybe I should have made that point clearer in my post. :]

    Besides, 0 nutrition facts doesn’t necessarily make something not bad for you… but that may be a discussion for another time. I feel I’ve gone far enough off-topic by even bringing up dietary choices when the subject is plastic handles on cans.

  27. posted by Valerie on

    I honestly looked at this unitasker for a second and thought that I would actually like that, I hate holding cold things. But came to my senses and realized that I might as well use a towel.

  28. posted by renee e on

    easier to toast with?

  29. posted by Marie on

    This is obviously intended to allow your pet chimp to have a beer unassisted. Duh.

  30. posted by Jo on

    Despite Erin’s explanation of how the word “unitasker” is used, I still cringe every week when it is Unitasker Day. I find this to be such an excellent blog in every other way; however, there seems to be a note of superiority in this area. I’m with Pat on this – there is no reason to feel smug toward products that are consistently seen as useful by a number of your own faithful readers. Maybe it’s time to let this feature fade away ? . . .

  31. posted by Alicia (Atypical Type A) on

    @ Jo: Nooooo! I love Unitasker Wednesday!

    What’s up with everyone wrapping their cold cans in paper towel? That’s what a stubby holder is for. Or is that just an Australian thing?

  32. posted by Jo on

    @ Alicia (Atypical Type A)

    What is a stubby holder? We have insulated can/bottle holders in North America – is it like that?

  33. posted by Elizabeth on

    @ Jo – this is a stubby holder: http://www.mrstubby.com.au/. No, we Aussies (pr. ozz-eez not osssees) do not actually speak like that. I have no idea whether these are the same as North American insulated can/bottle holders. Useful though they are, few people would claim that they add to the cachet of drinking from a stubby, but perhaps I move in the wrong circles: http://www.coolershop.com.au/.

  34. posted by Alicia (Atypical Type A) on

    @ Jo – Yes I think they would be the same.

    @ Elizabeth – I certainly agree that they don’t add anything to the classiness, but surely better than a soggy piece of paper towel. Although, the delightful specimens on those links were definitely not good examples to add to my arguement! I promise I am not a bogan as my suggestion may have indicated (everyone else: you may need to look up that one too).

  35. posted by Kenbo on

    Please don’t try to justify this one. Even in the 1 in 1,000,000 chance that someone has a legitimate need to not hold a cold can, I have the perfect invention.

    It’s called a glass.

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