All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Being a new mom, I spent a number of weeks being a lot more aware of the massive marketing efforts directed toward first-time pregnant women and parents. I specifically mention “first-time” because my eyes are already starting to go back to glossing over these advertisements — the same way I no longer see bridal or cigarette ads.
The stuff being marketed to first-time pregnant women and parents is about 1/4 necessary, 1/4 might-be useful to some people, and 1/2 scams and clutter. As proof of the scams and clutter category, I present the Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System:
From the Manufacturer’s description:
The Ritmo advanced sound system by Nuvo is the most advanced and complete system for delivering quality and safe sound to prenatal listeners.
I wanted to know if this was true, so I asked my friend’s unborn daughter what she thought. Her response:
It may deliver “safe sound” but I have to disagree with Nuvo’s claims about quality. I find the system to lack the mid-range fullness I’m seeking for my womb. I also dislike the inability to adjust the bass, treble, and playlist from anywhere inside the placenta. Who chose this crappy music? I’d love to rock out to some Rammstein.
How any of us grew up to be functioning adults without our mothers using the Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System, I shall never know.
(Special thanks to reader Wobagi for this unitasker, via Engadget.)