Unitasker Wednesday: The Tuna Squeeze

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The last unitasker of 2009 is the Tuna Squeeze!

No longer do you need to use the lid of the tuna can to conveniently drain off the water or oil packed with the fish. With the Tuna Squeeze, why, just open your kitchen drawer, remove your can opener, open your can of tuna, remove the lid, quickly rinse the lid, toss the lid into the recycling, open your kitchen drawer again to return the can opener and pull out your Tuna Squeeze, insert your can of tuna into the Tuna Squeeze, press down on the plastic top piece, drain the liquid into the sink, open the top piece of the Tuna Squeeze, remove the can of tuna, open your dishwasher, put the Tuna Squeeze on the top shelf, and then shut your dishwasher. It can be that easy!

And, if you order now, you get not one, but TWO Tuna Squeezes for $10.00 — I’m sold!

(Special thanks go to reader Paula for bringing this fishy unitasker to our attention.)

28 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: The Tuna Squeeze”

  1. posted by knitwych on

    Even my cat the tuna slut thought this was ridiculous!
    Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

  2. posted by David on

    Your can opener should NOT be returned to the drawer, but into the dishwasher.

    When did people start to think that the can opener was sterile between uses?

  3. posted by Filipa on

    This one really made me laugh!

    I don’t usually drain the oil into the sink, it’s one of the worst water pollutants! I’ve always heard that it’s better to collect it in a bottle that is disposed along with the other organic waste, (unless there’s an oil collector near your place).
    Well, least in Portugal it’s what is recommended to us, do you have any other ideias?

  4. posted by caroline on

    If only this was adjustable to use for different cans, like for canned veggies, fruit, that sort of thing. Then I might find it a great gift for my father, who has trouble squeezing the water/juice out of cans now with his arthritic fingers.

    But just for tuna? Pffft… whatever….

  5. posted by Rue on

    You could always save time by getting out the can opener and Tuna Squeeze together! 😀

    I could agree with Caroline that if you could use it for different size cans rather than just a tuna can it would be more useful (especially for small things in a can that tend to slip out around the lid). For tuna only? Nope.

  6. posted by Debra on

    While I wouldn’t buy this unitasker, I must admit that draining the liquid from the tuna can is unpleasant and messy. That’s why so many companies went to those metal bags for packaging. However, I don’t think the bags are recyclable, so I still buy the tuna in cans.

  7. posted by Spencer on

    (Don’t read this if you’re eating right now. 🙂

    Re: what to do with the liquid from the tuna can: I don’t see a lot of difference between running the tuna “juice” down the drain, versus eating it and then flushing the resultant by-product down the toilet. Both result in organic waste that needs to be processed. And, if you’re taking Alli, the tuna oil might make it through unscathed.

  8. posted by schmei on

    I think this unitasker is the perfect one to ring out 2009… ridiculous!

    And if you’re worried about tuna oil, folks, just buy tuna packed in water. Better for you and the planet. AND you can give the tuna water to your cat!

  9. posted by Maura on

    I actually have (and use!) a similar product, every time I eat tuna!

    It is a little “less complicated” (and only $3.99).

    No risk of cutting yourself on the lid while draining, nor losing any tuna — which sometimes happens with the lid-only method, and no messy (smelly) fingers, so no need to wash your hands before continuing with adding mayo, etc.


    I only buy tuna packed in water (given to the kitties).

    Also useful for other canned goods (so the description says.)

  10. posted by Christine on

    Thank you, schmei! I purchase only tuna in water so the cleanup process is never a problem – and like you said, it’s healthier!

    Aside from that though – this item is ridiculous!

  11. posted by mb on

    Sorry. I disagree. I have the Pampered Chef version of the version of this which is strainer that fits in the can, and I love it. I have one of those safety can openers (also so from Pampered Chef) which cuts on the side of the can with no sharp edges and you can’t used the top to squeeze the liquid out.

    (Also, the tuna water goes into a bowl for the first cat who finds it!)

  12. posted by Maura on

    Why was my previous comment pulled?

    Did I violate a rule?

    Apologies, if so.

  13. posted by jon on

    I don’t eat tinned tuna. I do eat tinned salmon. I suppose I’ll have to wait for The Salmon Squeeze to come out. Life’s a b*tch.

  14. posted by kitryan on

    I actually have been idly looking for something like this, (I might get that strainer thing), since I changed to a newer model can opener. The one I have cuts through the outer rim as opposed to the inner rim, which makes the lid too big to fit into the can for squeezing. The version presented, however, does look a lot more elaborate than what I’d be wanting.

  15. posted by Anca on

    I have the same can drainer tool as Maura linked to. I got it for free, and while it might be a unitasker, it makes draining a can of beans so much easier.

  16. posted by Josh on

    I too have the device that Maura linked to. The other reason for having it is that it just does a much better job of wringing the last bit of moisture out of the fish. While some people don’t have a problem with the fish still being slightly soggy, soggy fish leads to having to use more mayo/mustard than with dry fish to hold the sandwich together. That to me makes it a money saver.

    For the people complaining about oil, what exactly is wrong with being packed in some form of cooking oil? Is it a specific oil that you object to? The only one I can find that has any complaints is cottonseed oil, and even then the objections seem rather tenuous.

  17. posted by Amy on

    Uggg, what a waste!

  18. posted by skywind on

    I too have what Maura has, only in metal. FWIW, using the lid to drain the tuna *is* difficult, messy and often results in bits of tuna slipping out around the edges and getting lost. That said, the Tuna Squeeze is way over-engineered for its purpose. Fail.

  19. posted by Karyn on

    I never thought I’d see the day when I would defend a Unitasker, but here it is. Well, technically, I’m not defending the Unitasker itself–which does look overly complicated for the purpose–but the basic idea behind it.

    It’s not only a matter of not getting tuna water on my skin: When I try using the lid to press down on the tuna in the can, inevitably it suddenly bends, or that last little bit that didn’t get cut goes *snap* and I end up getting stinky tuna water splashed on my shirt. Since I’m almost always mixing up a batch of tuna right before going to work, that means I have to change my shirt.

    Actually I would change it anyway, because I don’t want to get mobbed by any stray cats crossing my path. 😉

    I’ve tried a couple of different strainer devices designed for cans, and have settled on a simple one that has little handles on each side. It works not only for tuna but for draining cans of beans and other things like that. It’s slightly concave, so held one way on the can, it presses into tuna; held the other way over the can, it makes a slight “dome” over the can, leaving room for the beans to fall forward and let the water drain out.

    Bottom line: I can defend my own tuna can drainer, because it’s designed more intelligently than this one is, and because mine is a multitasker. Ha! Ha-ha!

    P.S. – Happy New Year’s, Erin, et al!

  20. posted by thisisbeth on

    I have the can opener mentioned above (unseals the can rather than cutting it so the lid is wider than the can), but my tuna strainers is actually a flat disk that can be pressed down. It comes with a ring for use with larger cans, too. Much smaller than the unitasker in the post, and even smaller than the ones linked here.


  21. posted by Kalani on

    I think this is my favorite Unitasker ever.

  22. posted by Jay on

    To drain a can without mess:

    Use a regular can opener to cut one small slit on one side of the lid and another small slit on the other. (If the slit is too narrow, use a knife blade to widen it slightly.) Drain the can into a paper cup (in the sink). Leave the can upside down at a slight angle in the cup, walk away, and let gravity do its work.

  23. posted by andy on

    So here’s the thing, for me this would be a complete waste, opening a can of tuna and draining is a simple pain free procedure. But for my dad who always ends up either cutting himself on the can or losing part of the contents of the tin whilst draining it would be a good thing. Although I prefer the other versions linked to by other commentors rather than the main one mentioned here because they could be used in other manners.

  24. posted by Don on

    Leave it to marketers to kill a real simple idea. For years I have drained my tuna like this (cost is $2 for the tools).. purchase at dollar store two stainless sink strainers, they look like hats.. open tuna can and invert on the concave face of the sink strainer. Most of the liquid will drain off at this point.. smack the strainer/can combo on the side of the sink or on a cutting board.. the tuna will leave the can and end up in the open ‘hat’ of the strainer… put second strainer on top of the tuna (convex side) and squeeze.. every and I mean EVERY bit of water in the tuna will be squeezed out leaving you with a hockey puck sized block of tuna.. it can now be used anywhere tuna is called for.. no mess, no water, nothing…

  25. posted by Zig on

    I’m a person that would actually buy this because I cannot fully drain the water or oil from the tuna can. I always make more of a mess when I drain it when I shouldn’t be.


  26. posted by FrankHumus on

    Hahhaha. I asked for that tuna squeezer and snuggie for christmas. ahaha

  27. posted by Erika on

    Can openers will rust if washed regularly. This is something I’d heard of but had never seen in action until my germaphobe roommate washed my can opener after each use, soon making it unusable.

    Recycling rules certainly aren’t universal, but my municipality asks that can lids not be put in the recycling. The lids can cut the people sorting the recycling at the plant.

  28. posted by katrina on

    Funny unitasker. It is rather a waste.

    I simply put a very fine sieve over a bowl and dump the tuna into the sieve, using a spoon to get the last of the tuna out of the can. Then I do something else for a few minutes and let the tuna drain.

    If too much tuna goes through the sieve and into the juice/water – I put the sieved tuna aside, put a piece paper towel into the sieve and sieve the juice and tuna again.

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