Unitasker Wednesday: Tootsie tanner

tootsie-tannerAll Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

If you are constantly struggling with sock or sandal tan lines, this unitasker may be right up your alley. The Tootsie Tanner may have a pretty ridiculous name, but it serves a very important purpose. That purpose? Well, tanning your feet of course. How else does one get rid of those embarrassing foot tan lines? And, OMG, they are SO embarrassing!

Do you know any foot models? How about a friend with unsightly foot tan lines? Well, now you know what to get them for their birthdays.

From the product description:

Original The Tootsie Tanner was developed as a convenient mini foot tanning bed that can be used in the comfort of your home. If you play golf, tennis, jog or participate in any outdoor activity, there is an unattractive result: The Dreaded Sock Line! 

With the Tootsie Tanner, you can attain a seamless tan from your legs all the way down to your tootsies. You can not control the amount of UVB (burning rays) from natural sunlight. This unit controls both the UVA/UVB ratio and your exposure time. 

25 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Tootsie tanner”

  1. posted by PJ on

    So THIS is what that looks like, I have heard of this thing! I must say, as a golfer, the tan line does become somewhat of an issue by mid summer. It’s really goofy looking when you move to sandals. I wouldn’t buy one, mind you, but if there happened to be one in a locker room I’d sure use it!

  2. posted by LP on

    It looks like a George Foreman grill and probably has a similar result on the skin.

  3. posted by Rue on

    Either don’t wear socks at all during the summer, or wear them ALL summer…then you don’t have to worry about tan lines! 😛

    Besides, who REALLY looks at your feet anyway?

  4. posted by MAC on

    If the sports enthusiasts would use sunscreen on their legs it would solve the problem.

  5. posted by Bonnie on

    I would be tempted if I could use it in the winter to warm up my feet. I feel like I walk on two blocks of ice.

    Seriously though, are tan lines really this big a deal?

  6. posted by [email protected] on

    Ok I thought the post title said “tushie tanner” I thought to myself who needs a butt tanner? Was relieved to see it was tootsie (my glasses are in the other room). I hope I didn’t spoil next weeks post now that I think of it!

  7. posted by Andy on

    It goes without saying that tanning is really really bad for your skin, and you should really spend your life inside a darkened room. At least tanning beds have the built in limiter of it costing money to go somewhere to use them.

  8. posted by knitwych on

    I laughed out lout at this! No doubt they sell like hotcakes in Hollywood, but I think I’ll just keep my ghostly white winter feet and live with tan-lined feet during the summer.

  9. posted by robin on

    I’m with Bonnie – if they called it a “Tootsie Warmer”, I’d actually be tempted. My feet are always SO cold. Even then it would be a unitasker, I suppose, but I could actually imagine someone wanting one. Is there ANYONE who would buy this? I mean, if you’re that worried about tan lines, it seems to me, you’d avoid GETTING them instead of trying to fix them.

  10. posted by robin on

    Also funny… From their website:
    >>
    Q. Is it safe?

    A. The Tootsie Tanner is U.L. Approved which means that is has passed the rigorous tests for safety by the Underwriters Laboratories, Inc. It is also in compliance with the FDA regulations on sunlamp products.
    >>

    Does anyone else notice that the answer is NOT yes?

  11. posted by Erika on

    Or you simply could buy a bottle of artificial tanner and only use it on your feet.

    It also seems like this would mostly be a problem for men. (Not many women I know where socks with skirts or shorts.) And I can’t imagine most men giving a damn.

  12. posted by Patrick on

    I view my sock tan line as a badge of healthiness–it comes from my being outdoors and doing athletic things (in my case, mostly playing ultimate frisbee). An all-over tan connotes lazy outdoor barefoot lounging. Where is the pride in that?

  13. posted by Sharon on

    I’ll stick to religiously slathering on the SPF 60 all year long. Less wrinkles, less likelihood of skin cancer, and no need for products like to tootsie tanner.

  14. posted by Neil Matthews on

    Feeling lonely? Unloved? It’s probably because you have repellent untanned feet…..

    Someone sat down and invented that, the a marketing team set out to sell it, somewhere someone must have asked “do people need sun-tanned feet?” mustn’t they.

  15. posted by Amanda on

    Rue – it may make me shallow (yikes) but I do notice things like someone having tanned legs and pasty feet. I don’t make any judgements about it, but I notice. But I wear Birkenstocks all summer long and my feet are WAY more tan (with nerdy lines) than my legs, so I have the reverse situation.

  16. posted by momofthree on

    yea, sunscreen or socks all the time, but in the long run who really cares???

    I would get the tan lines, even with sunscreen from being a playground supervisor at my kids school. I would just laugh about them and oh well, one of the pitfalls of the job, but once I started going barefoot or sandals once school was out, I was pretty well tan from toes to shorts line.

  17. posted by christa on

    >>(Not many women I know where(sic) socks with skirts or shorts.)

    I do. And yes I look kinda dorky when I do. But I hate going barefoot – that means wearing any kind of shoe without socks. So oh well. At work where dress code is business casual, I wear pants.

    I don’t wear sandals, so not a problem! 🙂

    I agree….wearing sunscreen on your legs above the socks would indeed solve the problem.

  18. posted by Dee on

    He, he, he! That is hilarious and I can just see people buying it up.

  19. posted by Elizabeth on

    Just what the world needs – a great way to get localised skin cancer.

  20. posted by LB on

    All I can say is this product works fabulously. I golf 60+ games a year and even using sunblock on my legs they still get very dark. I also work in an office in and don’t choose to wear pants every day in the summer. When I go to weddings and social functions I can wear sandals without some idiot commenting about how white my feet are and spray on tan or self tanning lotion doesn’t work.
    Isn’t it great we are all not the same in how we present ourselves to the world, some care, some don’t.

  21. posted by Lisa on

    I have to agree with some of the posters that this seems like a silly idea. With that said, however, I think I will probably buy one. I work as a P.E. Assistant at an Elementary school and wear shorts and sneakers (we’re not allowed to wear sandals) outside 6-7 hours a day, 5 days a week. My legs are extremely dark and my feet are as white as snow. I realize worrying about this may seem a little superficial, but it does look ridiculous.

  22. posted by Tracy on

    Okay. Silly. Fine. But how much would you pay to do a Tootsie tan? $5? $10? In a tanning salon, would you use it complimentary?

  23. posted by Laetitia in Australia on

    Anyone actively using one of these just to get rid of a cosmetic effect just about /deserves/ to get skin cancer – now there’s something far worse and far uglier than a tan line for crying out loud.

  24. posted by Rebecca on

    @Erika — that response is *entirely* too practical…you could then use the lotion on other parts of your body! I mean, what if there were bottles of sunless tanning lotion marketed JUST FOR FEET! They could have their own Wednesday post…

  25. posted by Rag on

    Does anybody know where I can find replacement bulbs for the Tootsie Tanner they are 12 inches, Thanks [email protected]

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