Unitasker Wednesday: GoateeSaver

I’m not the best person to ask for advice when it comes to facial hair grooming. I only shave once a week because I don’t have a large amount of hair on my face, and I work from home. So, maybe my lack of expertise is the reason I don’t adequately understand the need for the GoateeSaver.

From the GoateeSaver site:

Tired of the constant struggle every morning trying to get your goatee to look perfect? GoateeSaver revolutionizes the way you shave and trim your goatee. GoateeSaver can be customized to your face in seconds, with three easy adjustments. Just slide it over your mouth and shave to get the perfect look that women will admire and men will respect.

Constant struggle? I had no idea that the goateed had to put up with such adversity to look good! Thankfully, the GoateeSaver is here to help. Just shove this thing in your mouth and shave around it. It sounds too good to be true. Check out the site for an informative video and I’m sure you’ll be sold. Now go forth, and be manly.

Thanks to reader Scott for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

**Each week, the Unitasker Wednesday column humorously pokes fun at the unnecessary, single-use items that manage to find their way into our homes.

38 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: GoateeSaver”

  1. posted by Alena on

    Good heavens, that picture is creepy. He looks like Hannibal Lecter.

  2. posted by Shalin on

    Creepy yet useful, I guess?… Great as an accessory for Halloween! πŸ˜‰

    Honestly, I’m sure it would be useful for many guys, but I don’t know of a way to make it look less creepy…


  3. posted by Nick on

    Wow, that’s… umm… special. More support for my belief that goatees just aren’t worth it — keep a full beard or shave it all.

  4. posted by Charles Martin on

    One of my friends pointed out that this would be very useful for someone who has gone blind to maintain a neat goatee when shaving.

  5. posted by Scott on

    I’m sorry but while this may indeed be a unitasker, it’s one that I can’t live without. You can have my goatee saver when you pry it, the keys to my SUT, and my Oakley RAZR sunglasses from my cold, dead hands!

  6. posted by Eve Martel on

    this is reason enough to break off with a guy

  7. posted by Springpeeper on

    Goatees are for goats…

    This is one woman who definitely does not “admire” that look on men!

    Ugh! to both goatees and the GoateeSaver!

  8. posted by Stephanie on

    That is the scariest personal care product I have ever seen.

    It definitely gets the coveted creepiest unitasker title as well.

  9. posted by Gabriel on

    Funniest. Unitasker. Ever.

  10. posted by Peter (a different one) on

    Wow that is scary.

    When I had my goatee, it was difficult to keep it nice, util I snagged my then girl firend’s eyebrow razor. She used to get them a Sally’s Beauty Supply.

    They worked really well for keeping the shape of the goatee.

  11. posted by laura on

    that is pretty creepy…and I am still conboggled as to how it actually WORKS…

  12. posted by Fit Bottomed Girls on

    Scary!!! And very Hannibal Lecter and kind of that hair cutter thing from Wayne’s World (the name is escaping me now…all I can hear is, “it certainly does suck.”).

  13. posted by timgray on

    Wow that has to be for a person that has no manual dexterity and constantly let’s a shaver run wild over their face.

    I sport the goat and I shave in the shower without a mirror (many time with my eyes still closed in a semi coma..) and never have a problem. Shaving is not a hard thing to do, products like this makes me really lose faith in the general IQ of the populace.

    Granted, that device is great for Halloween parties… put shaving cream over it and act like a rabid psychopath!

  14. posted by Meghan on

    Goatees are so lame! I can’t believe guys still wear them.

    I’d rather see a guy with an ironic mustache.

  15. posted by michelle on

    The hook like object in the back of the photo adds to the creepiness.

  16. posted by Michele on

    Unitasker Wednesday and the comments never fail to make me laugh!

  17. posted by infmom on

    My son has had a goatee since he graduated from high school (he’s 31). I’m not crazy about it, but hey, it’s his face. I showed him the picture of this thing and he gave me The Look. πŸ™‚

  18. posted by Peter (a different one) on

    Wow – I didn’t check out the Goatee Saver’s web site before, but did you know there is a 2008 tour?!?!?

    I am very disappointed because I missed the stop in Cleveland, OH – it was Aug. 20th πŸ™

    I guess I’ll have to wait for the Goatee Saver ’09 Tour!

  19. posted by Skeemer on

    My husband has a goatee & I adore it.

    He wouldn’t be caught dead using this thing!

  20. posted by Nimic @ The Green Routine on

    The first time I saw this, I thought it was a joke. In fact, I still can’t believe it’s a real product. As a man, that sometimes wears facial hair, I just couldn’t see myself ever thinking about buying this.

  21. posted by Sarah on

    He should just wax. Then, he wouldn’t need a face guard.

  22. posted by S on

    I like clean shaven and baby soft, so this grosses me out. Am I the only girl in the world who doesn’t like to be prickled with men’s facial hair? I could never date a guy with any hair, and even if I did, if I woke up to him using this, I would LOL and run.

  23. posted by [email protected] Awareness * Connection on

    Nice. A goatee stencil! I guess it makes sense. When I used to wear one, every once in a while, I would shave a crooked line, and have to either live with the lopsided goatee for a few times as it recovered, or shave it off and start over. Maybe the goatee face stencil is a good idea.

    Do they have stencils for the other manscaping that goes on like stars and paisley looking swirls and such?

    That guy looks like he’s behind a secure glass wall with the voice filter, like visiting in prison or a cashier in a bank in a bad neighborhood.

  24. posted by Erika on

    I believe that’s technically a van dyke. A real goatee is only on the chin. And, while some men can look good with a van dyke, no man looks good with a goatee.

  25. posted by Mer on

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen on Unitasker Wednesday in a long time!!! LOL

  26. posted by Thorin Messer on

    Erika is right, if there’s a moustache, it’s a van dyke. Personally I think she’s it backwards regarding which is acceptable. I’ve never seen a van dyke I liked.

    A fu manchu is another story… πŸ˜‰

  27. posted by Beverly D on

    Couldn’t this be a good way to get a guy to shut up? Then it would be a multi tasker right? Just kidding ok.

  28. posted by emmy on

    @ Fitbottomedgirls- the contraption from Wayne’s World was the Flowbee! That is such a crazy invention. After a search for them I found that it has a rival called the RoboCut. Who knew!

    I wonder if the GoateeSaver knows the inventor of the HairLine?

  29. posted by jacki Hollywood Brown on

    When we clip horses we draw on them with chalk or a Sharpie to know where we should clip (to have both sides even). Maybe this guy should get a tattoo around his goatee line then he would know where to shave to. It would certainly mean a lot less clutter. Until he decided to do without a goatee (oops!)

  30. posted by Anne on

    thank you for a much needed giggle, both from the unitasker post and all the giggles from the posters!
    The hook in the back…hanibal lector
    I am embarrassed to admit I once bought a flowbie!!! Both hubby and I have wiry curly hair…what a mess!

  31. posted by Monica Ricci on

    I love the goatee, but that is just soooo Hannibal Lecter! Blecch!


  32. posted by [email protected] Awareness * Connection on

    Never knew that was called a Van Dyke. Had never even heard that term. Which is funny since I wore one through most of my 20s Interesting. Also spelled this way apparently: Vandyck.

  33. posted by Kerberos on

    I’ve saved even more money buy not shaving for the last 8 years. Real men wear full beards!

  34. posted by Jack on

    When I first saw this I thought it was a photo of some guy speaking into one of those old-time microphones. I love the Unitasker series.

  35. posted by battra92 on

    Why such the facial hair hate?

    I really hate shaving and part of me always thought about an Abe Lincoln style beard but instead settled on the Vandyck look (commonly misidentified as a goatee.)

    I actually did it to please my then girlfriend since nothing else seemed to work but I actually liked it a lot more than she did. I think it makes me look less balding if that makes sense.

    Oh, and for shaving the rest of me, I wouldn’t trade my classic double edged safety razor for anything!

  36. posted by Caroline on

    I fully expect to see this in SkyMall the next time I fly.

  37. posted by Greg on

    Love my goateesaver.

  38. posted by roymeo on

    That’s not really a goatee.

    And that beardstyle is only for guys who are trying to look thin.

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