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This topic contains 24 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar of ChiFlower ChiFlower 1 year, 1 month ago.

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  • #160219
    Avatar of Kithkin
    Kithkin
    Member

    I’ve finally come to a conclusion that was frightening, but necessary. In 2011 I completed my training (25 straight years in school, since age 5, done!) and took the first job in my defined career path. The job as offered was very close to what I thought at the time was ideal, but in the intervening 18 months there has been a great deal of change, including a move toward something that would involve about 33% of my time being spent away from what I _want_ to do, and for which there is a huge need in the community.

    I’ve decided to seek other options, and the decision weighs heavily because I genuinely like my colleagues here, and do feel some responsibility to the community. That being said, the sole reason we moved here and not to a different area was because of the stated job, and I will be able to find other opportunities in areas where I have family, friends, and will love living as much, if not more.

    I’m deciding to unclutter my Catholic guilt, sense of duty and martyr complex in the process. Anxious as all get out, especially since all my local friends are the people in my group that I will be impacting by leaving.

    Heck of a gift to myself though, right?

    Happy week before the solstice to all.

  • #226464
    Avatar of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Unclutter the guilt! Sounds like you thought this through carefully – and if you have the skills and passion to do something that is needed in the community, that’s how you should spend your time.

  • #226466
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    They sold you the job based on a description which is no longer applicable. Go forth and guilt no more. :-)

  • #226470
    Avatar of Kithkin
    Kithkin
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Thanks for the encouragement. I think part of the decision process was the previous plan, which involved things improving, ie: my time spent away from primary role being 21% now, and dropping to about 10% in the long run. That’s been scrapped, but for a time I wanted to hope that things ‘could get better.’ Heard from a partner that this sort of chaos has been going on for the 15 years he’s been here, and I just don’t love this tiny mountain town enough to put up with that sort of thing.

    Now the trick is finding a new job that I’ll be happier in.

  • #226471
    Avatar of klutzgrrl
    klutzgrrl
    Participant

    Uncluttering a Job

    indeed. There’s a balance between caring for others and living your own life. You don’t want to turn into one of the Walking Dead. Perhaps your leaving will provide a great opportunity for someone else! :)

  • #226472
    Avatar of Ella
    Ella
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    I’ve decluttered a few wrong jobs and ill-advised career directions. The initial misgivings and guilt were difficult hurdles to get over, for sure. But once the shackles were off… Woo-Hoo!!!

  • #226474
    Avatar of luxcat
    luxcat
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    I’ve found that when decisions like this are made, some door opens up wide to another, better path. Wishing you oodles of luck in the New Year.

  • #226478

    Uncluttering a Job

    And it’s probably easier for EVERYONE for you to do it now, relatively early in your tenure, rather than a few years from now when things are apt to be more set on concrete and complicated for everyone. Sounds like the right move!

  • #226479
    Avatar of Jude2004
    Jude2004
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    I stayed in a job that I initially loved well beyond the point that it became unhealthy for me. I not only lost my job, I lost my ability to find a good job that paid well. I’m currently happily retired and it’s based on my three good years of salary that I had at that job–but it was way too high of a price to pay. I should have left when I started hating it instead of being loyal and unhappy. So leave ASAP–that’s my advice.

  • #226496
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    i agree with everyone else.
    get rid of the guilt and the job too. before it is too late.
    you have put in some serious study….you deserve the right job, in my opinion.
    and studies keep showing that work that aligns with your values makes you vastly happier than work that simply provides money or prestige.
    it feels like a big decision because you are clearly a person with integrity, who thinks of others.
    you can still be all that AND have work you love.

  • #226511
    Avatar of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    @SusanInTexas makes a very good point – you are doing them a favor by leaving now to allow them to train someone new.

    Good luck on the job search!

  • #226524
    Avatar of Joless
    Joless
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    I finally quit my job when it became clear they had no work for me and were just stringing me along. I lasted six months of travelling 90 mins a day to twiddle my thumbs and get more and more fed up. It was very scary quitting with nothing to go to, but it was such a relief when I did. I am still not working, 18 months later but that is by choice and we are really enjoying the lifestyle this allows us. Life is too short to stick in a job you loathe if you have the option to do something about it.

  • #226525
    Avatar of Another Deb
    Another Deb
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Jobs are like relationships, in a way. You date around until you find the right one. But you are NOT married to a job. Don’t feel like you owe the job more than you owe yourself. I’ve uprooted myself many times in a 25 year career in my chosen profession, and many times before that in “try-out” careers. Good endings are important in a job, so reflect, be rational with the finish, move on!

  • #226549
    Avatar of s
    s
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Do what you need to do, kithkin

  • #227542
    Avatar of Kithkin
    Kithkin
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Thank you everyone, it’s nice to hear that people I believe to be sensible, thoughtful and generally wise aren’t diametrically opposed to this decision. I’ve taken irrevocable steps, including telling my department chair, and talking with our realtor about selling the house. I’ve put in for about 6 jobs, and have a phone conference set up in two weeks to discuss something that could be either amazing or another option that’s part what I love doing and part something I abhor. Happily I’ve got loads of questions to ask about the iffy part, and have realized through reflection that the administrative support for the role will make or break my ability to enjoy it.

    Now I’m struggling with my desire to have the house staged “perfectly” for the showings. Somehow I’ve picked up that everything, including kitchen drawers and the garage, needs to be organized within an inch of its life. Thankfully Liz (our realtor) is helping me be realistic: yes, declutter kitchen counter and neatly stack linens; no to alphabetizing video games and making my closet look half empty.

    Hugs to all, and a very happy Friday.

  • #227550
    Avatar of mdfloyd
    mdfloyd
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Congratulations, Kithkin!! Someone told me once that power was having choices; the more choices, the more power you have. You’ve got a lot of power (choices) and you’re being wise to exercise them. Keep us posted!

  • #232937
    Avatar of Kithkin
    Kithkin
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Update: After multiple phone interviews, in person interviews and hectic staging and showing of the house it’s mostly done! I’ve accepted an offer that’s pretty much exactly what I want, with no chance of the same stuff happening that happened at my current job. Also, our house in under contract and we’re set to close on April 15th.

    All that’s left to do now is negotiate my leaving date here (trying to leave sooner than 90 days ) and pick out someplace to live in Vancouver, Washington.

    Thanks for everyone’s support. I’ve been lurking, but too busy to post.
    Hugs.

  • #232939
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Bravo!!

  • #232940
    Avatar of paisley
    paisley
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Sounds like a move in the right direction, Kithkin. Thanks for the update and best of luck to you.

  • #232944
    Avatar of luxcat
    luxcat
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    congrats!

  • #232948
    Avatar of s
    s
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Yay!

  • #232951
    Avatar of djk
    djk
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Good news, kithkin!

    (PS your username makes me smile–I always think of the lines, “it troubled all our kith and kin/it reached a fearful pitch/for one of us was born a twin/yet not a soul knew which”

    (Trots off to google, and figure out why I know that poem)

    ETA:
    Google tells me I’ve slightly misquoted it:

    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Sambrooke_Leigh#section_1

  • #232952
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    what a great update!
    congratulations.

  • #232958
    Avatar of ninakk
    ninakk
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Excellent, congratulations!

  • #232964
    Avatar of ChiFlower
    ChiFlower
    Member

    Uncluttering a Job

    Things have worked out really well for you, congrats!!

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