Home Forums Living Spaces Clothing Closets Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

This topic contains 52 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar of pkilmain pkilmain 3 years, 11 months ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #158602
    Avatar of trillie
    trillie
    Member

    I just found a new post on Lifehacker.com on how to curb impulse purchases, in which they mention the HALT method and link to two others, and I thought I’d share it with you all here. I opened a new thread because although there are a few threads so far that touch the subject of impulse shopping / shopaholism / binge shopping, their thread titles don’t include the word “shopping” and this might be easier for new forum members :o)

    * The HALT Method — ask yourself whether you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired before buying something
    * The Stranger Test — imagine a stranger is offering you either the item you want to buy or its price in cash, and decide what you would rather have
    * The $100 Rule — divide the purchase price of the item by 100 and consider the purchase that many days, so e.g. a $400 item is considered for 4 days (I admit this will probably not help in the dollar store, hee hee).

    Got any more tips and tricks for this?

  • #166543
    Avatar of Periwinkle
    Periwinkle
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Don’t go shopping. Obviously doesn’t work all the time, but if you’re just going window shopping because you’re bored, you’re obviously more likely to impulse buy.

    Cancel emails from online stores that tell you about their latest and greatest _____. If you need one, you’ll go and look for one.

    Make a shopping list and don’t buy anything that’s not on it.

    If you must impulse buy, set a price limit (‘I have X to spend on anything that’s not on my list’) so at least the damage will be limited.

  • #166554
    Avatar of Mrs.Mack
    Mrs.Mack
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Sorry, this is off topic, but how do you make text a link (rather than just pasting the URL)? I know how to do it with HTML (the “a href” code) but this forum seems to block the less-than and greater-than symbols when I try to use them as HTML coding.

  • #166555
    Avatar of Kamakazi
    Kamakazi
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Periwinkle: For me I actually like the store emails because there is a list of things that I “want” that I have been just waiting for a good sale on, so those emails are invaluable. But I realize for some people they would just result in impulse buying.

  • #166559
    Avatar of JuliaJayne
    JuliaJayne
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Just say no.

    If you don’t need it, and I mean really need it, just leave it at the store. Especially if you are at some monolith box store. Srsly. Most likely it’s just over-priced even if it’s on sale. lolol

    Choose wisely. Buy the best you can afford. Think through every purchase.

  • #166562
    Avatar of Periwinkle
    Periwinkle
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Ah yes; if it’s a store you actually buy from and you’ll get a better deal that way, then the emails can be useful. Others can just be a distraction though.

  • #166565
    Avatar of Demerna
    Demerna
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    For groceries and household items I make a list and stick to it, that saves a lot on impulse buys. When I go window shopping I will not buy anything until I have been to every store (just in case another store has something better) by the time I am done I am normally too tired to go back or I have forgotten about the items. There are only a few items that I will buy things when I see them and those are usually things I have been wanting and haven’t seen anywhere else.

  • #166568
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    The best way I ever found to curb impulse shopping was to walk to the shopping area. There’s only so much you want to carry a mile home!

    I walked to work for four years and over that period basically cured my shopping-for-entertainment habit. Now I am driving to work again, but I try not to do errands after work when I’m tired/hungry. Instead I’ll batch up all my errands for a two- or three-hour blitz every other week or so. When I have a bunch of things to check off an itemized list, I’m much less likely to add a stop just for a whim.

    I’m also on a pretty strict budget, so even though I’ll “window shop” online, I don’t commit till near the end of my pay period because I only want to spend what’s truly disposable income.

  • #166575
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    at 43 i am finally learning that i can look and appreciate and enjoy….but i do not have to bring it home with me.

    today i wandered the streets of paris.
    do you know how much unbearably cool stuff is for sale here?
    it’s insane….
    but i didn’t buy anything that we couldn’t eat or drink. not so much as a postcard.
    and i am going to do that daily for the next four weeks.
    a friend of mine is coming over next week, expressly to shop the sales and i cannot think of anything i really need.
    o sure, i’d love to replace all my cookware with copper mauviel stuff….but it won’t make our food taste any better or our kitchen look that much nicer.
    i saw a million beautiful scarves in shops today….but if i buy one, i have to get rid of one at home. and i already like all the ones at home.

    i’ve done the vast bulk of my decluttering.
    this phase is all about not RE-cluttering.

  • #166577
    Avatar of JuliaJayne
    JuliaJayne
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    You’re very strong, bandicoot. Not me – there is no way that I could be in Paris and not shop.

  • #166578
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    i’ve had some practice this year.
    i’ve been in bali and thailand and korea and hong kong and england….no shopping.
    it’s truly not strength. it’s just a change in my brain.

    plus i’ve already decided i need to spend a whole month here next year, lol.

  • #166580
    Avatar of JuliaJayne
    JuliaJayne
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    But that’s my point — it’s Bali and Thailand and korea and England and France. Geez, I almost getting teary-eyed just think about all that lost shopping…lol

  • #166585
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    ROFL!!
    but i feel so happy…and light!… not to be lugging all that stuff home.

  • #166587

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I have an unbelievable amount of restraint when it comes to buying clothes/shoes/etc. However, put me anywhere near a music store and all of that goes right out the window. I wish I could leave my credit card at home so I wouldn’t be tempted to buy anything while I’m at work on amazon.com. However, the day I leave it at home is the day I actually need it for an emergency!

  • #166588
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    i could leave my credit card on the moon and it would do me no good.
    i have that thing MEMORISED.
    plus there is that awful amazon one click thing.
    thank god for the kindle, that’s allllll i’m saying.

  • #166593
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    alas, the lost shopping! but why lug stuff home, when there is FedEx? ;-)

  • #166595
    Avatar of candy
    candy
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I’ve actually sent some shopping home by mail from Paris once… :)

  • #166612
    Avatar of trillie
    trillie
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    @Mrs.Mack: Weird. The HTML syntax is exactly the way I make the text links here in this forum:

    <a href="http://Unclutterer.com">Unclutterer.com</a&#062;

    becomes Unclutterer.com. (The code example is between the so-called backticks to make it show here.)

    @bandicoot: Ooooh, Paris! What an amazing amount of self-restraint you must have :o) Although — I’ve also gotten tired of lugging around souvenirs while still traveling, so during my last trips, I always bought one thing I could use or wear already while traveling, like a scarf or jewellery.

    Also, nice turn of events here, LOL… first everyone’s like “try this and that to your avoid impulse shopping habits” and now tips are “or you could just memorize your credit card and send all the stuff home with FedEx” *insane laughter* I LOVE this forum :oD

  • #166622
    Avatar of Mrs.Mack
    Mrs.Mack
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Strange! I’ve tried doing that before and it wouldn’t publish my post. So I tried just pasting in the URL without the coding and it worked. I had assumed it was a problem with the brackets, but I guess not…

    Weird.

  • #166623
    Avatar of Gil
    Gil
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I won’t kid you. I used to be a big impulse shopper, and that was a huge factor in my amassing clutter.

    I went to IKEA this weekend and man, the temptations jumped out at me. I used to go here on almost a weekly basis a few years ago, but this was my first visit in almost a year. I saw a few things I liked, but simply just willed myself not to buy them. I also thought it would be just something else to get rid of down the road.

    I will also say the layout of most IKEAs don’t help either. Once you are in, it’s like walking through a maze trying to get out.

  • #166660
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    IKEA is no joke.
    i have run amok in there several times in the last few years.
    in my defence, i was buying stuff to renovate with and the vast bulk of it is now being used daily in my kitchen and workshop.
    but it sure has been set up by marketing geniuses…..it’s hard to get out of there intact!
    one great IKEA idea leads seamlessly to another….

  • #166661
    Avatar of trillie
    trillie
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Yup, IKEA is eeeevil, I love it ;o) It’s so full of stuff you didn’t know existed, but when you’re there, you’re suddenly determined you really really need it. I’m much more likely to impulse shop in IKEA (and stores with similar products), but it has gotten better over the years: I make decisions beforehand based on their online store and try to only buy what is on my list, and since I started decluttering, I’m more vigilant about what gets to enter my home. When I go to IKEA with a friend, we have fun by swapping purses before going inside and then we have to justify purchases in a little speech before the cash register to get our money back to pay for the stuff (it’s funny, and it helps just buying the stuff on the list, sometimes even less).

  • #166664
    Avatar of lucy1965
    lucy1965
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    bandicoot, my son and his partner are in Paris! Have been there since the beginning of the month, and they’re running over to the UK to visit friends next week.

  • #166676
    Avatar of SunshineR
    SunshineR
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Bandicoot, could you buy just one scarf? Enjoy Paris!!

  • #166765

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    You cannot miss what you do not know. Don’t go near the stores you have issues with. Yes it can be hard. Where you work or live can make that mute.

    That is impossible where I live- in an urban area which people travel to shop at and we walk everywhere. I think I have driven my car twice in the last 9 months. It hard not to window shop. But I found that if I people watch on the street it distracts me from the window (which does not always work if I find them staring in the evil windows!!! LOL)

    Mid America Mom

  • #171854
    Avatar of Timo
    Timo
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Although this doesn’t stop you from impulse shopping, but decide what item you are going to throw out after buying one new item.

    At least the amount of clutter isn’t increasing if you happen to do the impulse purchase.

  • #171856
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    timo, i am totally down with that idea.
    if i pause and think “well now, what is this brand new item REPLACING…. something has to go if i bring this home”, it really slows me down.
    99% of the time, i think o well, i’ve got everything i need already.

  • #171859
    Avatar of jbeany
    jbeany
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Knowing the tricks retailers use to suck you in really helps. I’ve worked retail for years, so I’ve learned to use a lot of them. (I’ll share, but it’s like magician’s secrets – don’t tell anyone I did!)
    What music are they playing? Smart retailers play slower, often classical music – especially in high end gift shops. People assume classic = higher class, therefore the things for sale must be worth more. Plus, the slower tunes make you move slower, and you see more.
    Seeing more is why big retailers rearrange so often, too. They don’t want you to know where things are, so you have to slow down and look at everything to find what you want.
    Don’t touch, don’t touch, don’t touch. I’ve trained everyone I’ve worked with to hand things from inside cases to the customer, even if they are just wandering, not looking seriously. I think there was a post on this website about that, too. You form a bond with something within seconds, and the longer you hold it, the more you want it and the higher the price you are willing to pay. I’ve sold a lot of jewelry with “It’s just so much more fun to try it on – here, look in the mirror….”
    Watch the “yeses”. The first question out of a salesperson’s mouth will usually be something you must answer yes to, like “Are you enjoying the lovely weather?” The first yes answer puts you in a positive answer frame of mind. Each subsequent yes will be easier, and eventually, the question will be “Can I wrap that up for you?”
    Watch the clock. Big stores with no windows have the advantage here, but any clock for sale where I’ve worked is always set wrong, so people think they have all the time in the world. Like casinos, they don’t want you to realize how much time you have spent. The longer you stay, the more you will see, the more you spend.

  • #171860
    Avatar of pkilmain
    pkilmain
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Lots of good ideas here. Living in a rural area really helps – the only stores I’m even tempted to window shop in are gift stores, and I’ve really strengthened myself against bringing home any of that stuff. I do occasionally buy a gift there, though. The stores I have problems with are fabric/quilt stores. Be still my heart. :) I’m doing better at resisting the impulse to acquire. This week I’m helping a friend pick up the “perfect” fabric for a new quilt. I get to look and suggest, she makes the purchase.

    As for shopping in Paris and like places, I have a friend who has solved this problem by taking wonderful pictures of the items she drools over (and then she posts them on her blog, and also makes cards for sale and everyone else gets to drool over them too.) She has photos of a Christmas fare in Germany that made me feel like I was there.

  • #171861
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    thank you, jbeany, for the retail science lesson! I guess that’s why I prefer online shopping … on some level, I was aware that in stores I was being seduced!

    Timo, setting the “what will this replace” question as a bar to buying is absolutely key. I am still struggling to get rid of some very nice clothes (that I’ve had for years) that are work-appropriate, but that I simply don’t wear for work, and I don’t need them for anything else. I bought them because they were pretty, not because something I already had needed to be replaced. If I had bought for the latter reason, I would be WEARING THEM NOW. Oh sigh.

  • #171864

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I recommend avoiding buying clubs like Costco and Sam’s Club. My brother bought us a membership in Sam’s last year and in Costco this year. I found myself fretting that I’m not getting my (well, his) money’s worth and thinking — “gotta go shopping!” This is so unlike me. Also, their sizes — 4-packs of this, 8-packs of that — are much to much for our 2-person family.

    Another bad idea is forced buying clubs (such as book and record clubs) that obligate you to buy stuff whether you need it or not.

  • #171866
    Avatar of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    susanintexas – absolutely agreed, anything that makes it TOO EASY to buy, or that makes it seem “advisable” to buy more than you ordinarily would, tends to be a pitfall for those of us with clutter issues.

  • #171870
    Avatar of lazycow
    lazycow
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Don’t go shopping with friends. They NEVER say, “oh, don’t buy that”, it’s more likely “go on, you deserve it”. A friend asked me to go to Ikea with her next week and I’m half-tempted as I *need* (really?) Lego storage for my son.

  • #171873
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    i agree with lazycow.
    never shop with friends!
    then the shopping becomes a fun social thing to do and everyone is enabling everyone else and i am always looking like the grumpy fun-killer saying, no i don’t really need that….or this….or that….
    i meet people AFTER shopping.

  • #171876
    Avatar of pkilmain
    pkilmain
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    We had a Costco membership for awhile, and I ended up not renewing it. If I really need something they carry, most of my friends have a membership and are happy to buy it for me. :)

  • #171877
    Avatar of Rozzie
    Rozzie
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    The best way? Stay out of the stores and don’t browse around shopping sites online!

    You can get nearly everything you need at a grocery store & most of the rest at a pharmacy. If you really “need” something, take only enough cash to buy what you need at another store, and leave the credit cards at home.

    And, above all, never ever ever ever go to a Renaissance Fair… ;)

  • #171878
    Avatar of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    i have never been to a renaissance fair….and now it sounds dangerous!

  • #171881
    Avatar of lazycow
    lazycow
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Oh but bandicoot, you must go! I’m devastated that the one in Melbourne was cancelled this year. I want one of those gorgeous handmade, hand-dyed linen medieval dresses I saw at one a couple of years ago. Sigh. Not so keen on the chain-mail headdresses though :-)

  • #171884
    Avatar of trillie
    trillie
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Oooh, chain-mail! I’m such a sucker for fantasy stuff, and I would SO love to have a knight’s suit of armor standing around if I wouldn’t dread cleaning it, LOL :o)

    On shopping with friends: I love shopping alone (my speed, no waiting around, my kind of stores), but I also love shopping with friends, especially when they’re honest with me. The friends I like to go shopping with won’t convince me to buy anything I’m not sure about, and it’s worth a lot to have someone tell you the truth about how my butt looks in those jeans ;o) Anyway, today I’ll go to Ikea with a good friend, and we’ll be playing the above mentioned “holding a silly speech about something I want to buy in order to get my purse back” game. Looking forward to it! :o)

  • #171898
    Avatar of sky2evan
    sky2evan
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    personally, i think the best way to avoid impulse shopping is to declutter everything first.
    once that happens, you’ll appreciate so much the increased quality of life that a decluttered existence brings, that you’ll look at every new purchase as a potential step backwards towards a more cluttered existence. you’ll see every item not just in terms of cost of Money, but also in terms of its very real cost in Space, Time, and Energy. those costs usually outweigh any benefits that the item might bring. which is why most of us declutter in the first place.

    the fact is, we’ve already survived all our lives without owning the item. so we’ll likely continue surviving without it.

  • #171906
    Avatar of djk
    djk
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I don’t love shopping. Mainly because I am picky picky picky and I so seldom see what I want to have that I can still afford. And I am very very debt averse, so I truly do not buy things I cannot afford. I lean toward stingy.

    Don’t get me wrong–there is a ton of stuff that in another life/income level I would love to have.

    My weakness? great packaging and great smells. But I know it…

    jbeany, that was a fascinating insight into how the act of shopping can shape our behaviour. wow.

  • #171912
    Avatar of Nithy
    Nithy
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Shop with a list. Groceries, Target, holiday gifts, whatever. When I have a list I don’t forget things, so I don’t have to go back through the store to find it (or come back to the store later).

    Walk to the store. If you can’t walk, shop with a basket and not a cart. You really have to think about what you want to carry around the whole store. Sometimes I’ll think “yes, I want that, but it’s too big/too heavy to put in the basket now, so I’ll pick it up when I’m ready to check out” and then I realize when I leave the store that I’ve forgotten to go back. Bring your own re-usable canvas bags and don’t buy more than what will fit in them.

    Don’t look at store ads after you’re in the store. If you didn’t need it before you went to the store, the fact that it’s on sale doesn’t mean you suddenly need it. If you do need it, it should already be on your list.

  • #171914
    Avatar of pkilmain
    pkilmain
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Our grocery stores have started using these little, almost half sized, carts. They don’t hold a huge amount, but are easier than carrying a basket. I do shop from a list but even if it’s short, it may have things that are heavy or awkward (flour, milk, paper towels) making a basket impractical. These little carts are perfect! Our local store doesn’t have them – yet – but the larger branch in the next town does. I love them! And I love bringing my own bags.

  • #171991
    Avatar of
    Anonymous

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I have to disagree with the stay-away-from-shops-that-tempt-you line of thinking. Staying away from the shops isn’t curbing your impulse shopping, it’s only avoiding situations where the impulse may arise. This does nothing to curb the actual impulse, and when you once again find yourself in a shop you’ve been avoiding, you’re no less likely to impulse-shop than you were before.

    I like window shopping, looking at nice things, trying them on, but I rarely buy anything I don’t need, because I ask myself 2 questions:

    1. would I be willing to either let go of something I already own to make room for this, or have less room in my house for the sake of having this?

    2. would I be willing to take the money for this out of my savings? (since I’m almost always saving for a big project, this works wonders)

    Being aware of marketing and sales tricks is also a big help. As for touching things, I find that touching something or trying it on actually dissuades me from buying it more often than it forms any attachment. Everything looks wonderful when it’s carefully laid out in a store display. Once you pick it up you can get more of a feel for the product itself, rather than the salesperson’s ability to display it.

    For clothes, if I try on 15 things I love the look of, I’ll come out with maybe 2 that fit properly. That’s 13 things I’m no longer tempted to buy, and 2 that I run through my “filter questions” and will probably leave anyway. If I see something nice and *don’t* try it on, it will actually stay in my mind for longer.

    I don’t know if I’m the odd one out here, but with these guidelines, I actually have more things that I regret NOT buying than things I regret impulse buying. Like a gym bag that was absolutely perfect, but I told myself mine’s still good (though it was starting to show its age). Now my old gym bag needs replacing, but I can’t find anything I like as much as the one I saw over a year ago which obviously got discontinued.

  • #171995
    Avatar of Nithy
    Nithy
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I agree with Anita, that staying away from shops only makes it more tempting when you do go past the store for one reason or another.

    I had to train myself not to buy yarn every time I went to the craft store. I decided I wasn’t going to buy yarn for a month. I told people that I wouldn’t buy yarn for that whole month. I went to the craft store at least once a week, looked at yarn, touched it, imagined projects I could make with it, looked at the clearance yarn and how inexpensive it was, and then left the store. It was really difficult. But since I did that, it’s easier for me to walk into a store, look at yarn, love the yarn, and still not buy any.

  • #172004
    Avatar of Julia
    Julia
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Gosh, I thought impulse shopping was what dollar stores were FOR.

    A couple of times a year I’ll find myself, on a bad day at work, wanting retail therapy. On those days, I spend my lunch hour at the dollar store. I walk the whole store, looking for whatever catches my eye, my nose, whatever. If I like it, and can think of a use for it, I can have it.

    I rarely check out at over $10-$12 dollars, I feel indulged, I can share my purchases with friens at work or leave the whole bag at the bus stop if I feel like it.

    But I’ve saved myself ten times that, that I might have spent at a good clothing store, and I don’t feel I’ve deprived myself of anything.

    A friend of mine used this technique at places like Marshall’s and TJ Maxx, and quickly got into trouble – so I stick to to the dollar store.

  • #172005
    Avatar of jbeany
    jbeany
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I use thrift stores for retail therapy when I just really feel like I deserve some kind of splurge. Goodwill has everything divided by style and size, so it’s easy to pick things out to try on. If I find something I love, it’s usually about 3 dollars. If I wear it a lot, fabulous. If I only wear it a handful of times, it’s still less than a dollar per use. I usually end up with brand names I couldn’t afford new in the store, too. I do try it all on, and my rule is to only get stuff that fits perfectly, doesn’t need any mending and is very flattering. Even if I buy half a dozen things I can wear, it’s still less than I would pay for one item new at most retail shops. It satisfies my shopping urge without blowing my budget.

  • #172021
    Avatar of Rosa
    Rosa
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I don’t generally have an impulse-shopping problem, I don’t usually want things…but we’re coming up on the “due date” of our Christmas lists for my boyfriend’s family, and this is my downfall every year.

    First, I have to sit around thinking of things I want. This is basically manufacturing wants (they request a quite specific list, and it causes problems between me & the boyfriend if I don’t comply.) Then I have to do a ton of Christmas shopping, which puts me out in stores I only go in once a year when I Christmas shop. Then, most of the things on my list don’t get to me as presents, so I end up going out in January and buying them.

    This happens every year. I’ve been trying for years and years to disengage from it, with a variety of techniques, but there just isn’t anything that works – for several years, we had an annual “worst fight ever” just after the family Christmas party because he thought I waS being disrespectful of his family traditions and I felt (feel) like he wasn’t even capable of listening to me because his family is so overwhelming. So I just gave in; I have a budget for buying stuff for myself in the holiday season, and I stick with it.

  • #172036
    Avatar of jbeany
    jbeany
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Rosa, maybe stop thinking in terms of “new” wants and only list upgrades to things you already have? Then if you don’t get what you asked for, you don’t have to run out and get it – you already have a functioning version. For example, I love the boxed, hard cover set of every Calvin and Hobbes book, so I’ll ask for it. If I get it, then I get rid of all my paperback copies. If I don’t – there’s no way I’ll spend $100+ to get it when I already have them all.

    My ex-mother-in-law always wanted a list, and if I didn’t list enough, I ended up with things that I was expected to keep and wear that were completely not my style. I started asking for real gemstone jewelry – and very specific versions – “a pair of diamond studs”, “a tiny set of gold hoops”, etc. I do wear them, even if not all the time, and they don’t take up much space at all.

  • #172038
    Avatar of irishbell
    irishbell
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    I could think of several things right off the top of my head to put on a list, problem is, I don’t get asked for one!!! From my folks -I generally get a bunch of stuff that ends up at Goodwill in a couple weeks. DH and kids always ask what I’d like, so I do end up getting usable and wanted items.
    What if you put on your list- gift card to mall, bookstore, jewelry store, etc?
    If you and boyfriend are required to shop for his family- have him do the shopping, no reason why you should have to do it. DH has never in 28 years asked me to do the shopping for his family.

  • #172045
    Avatar of Rosa
    Rosa
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Sorry, I should have said i wasn’t looking for solutions, just saying what my weak spot is. I’ve spent 10 years and some couples therapy looking for a solution and it’s not something I can solve on my own (the expectations/performance parts, I mean.)

  • #172048
    Avatar of Nithy
    Nithy
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    My family has begun to rely on the power of the Amazon Wish List to make Christmas lists easier. They have a Universal wish list, where basically anything for sale on the internet can be added to your Amazon wish list. I add stuff throughout the year when I see it (stuff I want, but can live without, like books and movies), look over it again at the beginning of the holiday season, and then send it out.

  • #172054
    Avatar of pkilmain
    pkilmain
    Member

    Impulse Shopping and a few tricks how to curb it

    Great idea Nithy! Since my parents/in-laws have died, we don’t get asked for lists much, and we get varying quality of presents from our siblings! Since we live in a unique/exotic – to them – place (Alaska), we always send them calendars, otherwise we usually donate to a charity that is related to their interests. We buy actual presents (beyond the presents) only for children.

    DH and I each ask for ideas from the other, and usually get them….

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.