Home Forums Welcome Hello! I don't want…

This topic contains 30 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Profile photo of chacha1 chacha1 1 year, 10 months ago.

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  • #160163
    Profile photo of boxroom
    boxroom
    Member

    I think that sometimes clutter can trap us. It can make us into people we don’t want to be, and build up to things we don’t want in our lives. So by uncluttering, I’m rejecting what I don’t want, and who I don’t want to be. Some of my “I don’t want”s are reasons to declutter. Others are hopes/dreams for the future. What are your “I don’t want”s?

    Here are some of mine:
    I don’t want… to be the girl with a wardrobe full to bursting, yet have nothing to wear. I finally let go of a load of clothes this year, and it’s liberating. I have space in my wardrobe for the clothes I DO wear, and I have go-to outfits for different occasions. :)

    I don’t want… to be the grown adult who keeps stuff at my parents’ house after I’ve moved out. (No offence to those who do, for whatever reason.) I’m 22, and hoping to move out in the next couple of years. Part of my decluttering goal is that when I do move out, I can empty my room (bar the furniture), and take all my stuff with me. I want to give my parents back a bedroom of their house when I leave, not a mound of junk to sort through.

    I don’t want… to be trapped in a job I hate one day, in order to accommodate clutter. (Don’t worry, I like my job at the moment! I more mean in the future.) All that “stuff” isn’t worth *that* much to me. I would prefer a bit less money, or a less fancy place, than working in a job I can’t stand because I have to pay for a big place/storage to keep all my stuff.

    I don’t want… to leave piles and piles of junk for my family to sort if/when I die. Reading experiences of people who have had to clear out parents’/in laws/grandparents’ cluttered estates etc after their deaths, I don’t want to put my family through that. (I know I’m only 22. But hey.) I don’t want them to have to sort through, say, every single pice of schoolwork I did since I was 5, worrying that they don’t know which I cherished and which I hated, etc etc.

    I don’t want… to be the nighmare housemate (again) when I move out. I have a confession to make. When I lived in a house at university, I was awful. I left every dirty dish for days on end until I had to clean something to be able to cook. I rarely took out the bins/recycling etc, or cleaned the kitchen/living room/anywhere. I left clutter in the communal areas. When some of the lightbulbs went in the summertime, I didn’t bother replacing them, just used lamps and fairy lights instead. The housemate who was my friend could be a *little* untidy, but wasn’t as bad as I was. We’re still friends. My other former housemate, however, hates my guts, understandably. She wasn’t really a “clean/neat freak”, she just hated living like a pig. She spent more and more time at her boyfriend’s place to escape our house (apparently he is a clean freak), and eventually moved out early to move in with him. I feel especially bad that my messy ways affected my housemates. I mean, my own room being a mess is one thing, but I should have had enough courtesy to keep the communal areas decent, at least.
    I’m getting a lot better now, but I am determined never to be that housemate again when I do move out permanently.

  • #224408
    Profile photo of Xiro
    Xiro
    Member

    I don't want…

    The one about leaving a bunch of stuff at your parents place reminds me of all those television and movies where they show a room that seriously looks like they took nothing with them, I could maybe see a few things if they were in a dorm, sometimes these kids are in their late twenties or older and there is this room sitting there with all these things.

    I would wonder why one would not want their stuff once they have a place to live, either they care about them or not, I imagine real life has to look a lot different then movies and not be so staged.

    Once they had a home I know I would rather not store other peoples items that can have it at their own place.

  • #224420
    Profile photo of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    I don't want…

    OK, I’ll confess. I’m in my 30s and my parents still have some of my things in their house. When I went to college (and I was not as minimalist then as I am now), I put everything that I thought I wanted to keep, but didn’t want to take with me to a dorm room, into the closet in my childhood bedroom – so my parents got the room back, but I got the closet as storage.

    If I lived close to my parents, I would have taken all that stuff years ago. But I don’t have a car and it isn’t worth hiring movers to drive it cross-country. Whenever my parents visit me via car (rather than airplane), they put a box or two of my things in their car along with their luggage.

    That being said, I love the list, @boxroom! Here are a few more:

    I don’t want to waste time searching for the things I need because they are buried behind things I don’t need.

    I don’t want to have so many things that my things start to define me (“she’s the girl with the house full of — “).

    I don’t want to feel stressed when I am at home – I want my home to feel as relaxing as, say, a yoga studio.

  • #224423
    Profile photo of Xiro
    Xiro
    Member

    I don't want…

    Sleepy – Those circumstances make sense, you cannot take everything to a dorm, packed away, moved elsewhere, hard to get to. In a lot of movies so many rooms look like nothing is touched, I doubt real people would leave all their stuff like that for a decade if they could do something about it.

  • #224424
    Profile photo of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    I don't want…

    You are right…those “shrines” in the movies where nothing is touched are bizarre!

  • #224427
    Profile photo of rutheverhart
    rutheverhart
    Member

    I don't want…

    Hi Boxroom — that was a heartfelt confession you made, about your formerly sloppy ways as a housemate. I wonder if you would feel like the slate was clean if you told it to the former housemate, as well as us? Perhaps you have already done this.

    Good luck achieving your goals! You seem very self-aware for some one just starting out in life, and I think you are going to do great things!

  • #224431
    Profile photo of ataylor
    ataylor
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want .. to worry about stuff being stolen. I actually leave my home’s door unlocked when I go out running. If everything were to be stolen from my place, I wouldn’t lose any sleep. Well, unless they stole my bed! :P

  • #224438
    Profile photo of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    I don't want…

    @ataylor – depending on where you live, it may still be a good idea to keep your door locked. Has nothing to do with stuff! I wouldn’t want to come home to find someone inside my house….

  • #224439
    Profile photo of Endof20s
    Endof20s
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want… to hold on to all my college paperwork as if I need proof that I did, in fact, graduate college.

    I don’t want… to ever move boxes full of “projects” again. It’s been 6 years self, you’re never going to finish that cross stitch for mom’s birthday. Throw. It. Away.

    I don’t want… to hold onto books that could bless others because I “might” read them again someday.

    I don’t want… ugly things in my space. Unless it’s getting a remodel then it should go to someone who’ll appreciate it (goodbye stacking glass bookshelf and dresser).

    I don’t want… to store things for my parents. Next trip up they’re taking home the scaffold I’ve had for nearly a year.

    I don’t want… inedible food taking up space in my kitchen – will toss things when they’ve expired.

    I don’t want… dozens of intricate and breakable glass bowls. I don’t use them. I don’t like them. Time to sell them.

    I don’t want… to be the person who surrounds herself with stuff because there aren’t real relationships to invest in, places to visit and things of real value to do.

  • #224449
    Profile photo of Hansi
    Hansi
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want to be tied up in one location because of my stuff.

    ——————— long times cleaning stuff I don’t need
    ——————– pay rent to keep stuff I don’t need
    ——————– search and search again for things, papers and more when I need it.

  • #224452
    Profile photo of pkilmain
    pkilmain
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want to have anyone despairing about cleaning out my house!

    I don’t want to search for things I need and know I have.

    I DO want to live in an uncluttered and serene home. :)

  • #224453
    Profile photo of djk
    djk
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want my legacy to take the form of physical objects.

  • #224456
    Profile photo of boxroom
    boxroom
    Member

    I don't want…

    Nice answers, everyone.

    @Sleepykitten – Sorry if that sounded judgemental! I don’t really judge people who keep stuff at their parents’ house, I know there are various reasons why people might do so. Emptying my room when I move out is just a personal goal for me. My parents have done so much for me in recent years, that I’d like to give them something back… namely an empty room!

    @Rutheverhart – I’ve not told her, actually. I’m in a different part of the country now, so don’t see her anymore. Though, I’m not sure we would have been proper “friends” as such, whatever happened… just two people who happened to live in the same house. But I am letting go of the guilt. It happened, I was like that, but I know I’m different now. :)
    Thanks for the compliment. I made quite a few mistakes in the last few years, but I’ve decided to learn from them rather than constantly beat myself up with guilt and regrets. Fortunately, I’ve found what I want to do with my life, and what my priorities are (I think), so I’m working towards that.

    I’ve thought of a few more for my list:

    – I don’t want… to panic every month on the day of my tutorial, knowing that the books I need are buried under mounds of stuff in my room, and have to sift through it all. My university books and other materials for my current course now have designated places on my bookshelves, which is a lot easier to access.

    – I don’t want… to have to apologise for the state of my room. I did that constantly for 2 years at uni, and I hated it. My course wasn’t demanding in terms of contact hours, and I didn’t have a job, so the only reason for such a messy room was pure laziness, which was embarrassing if nothing else.
    I want to be able to invite people round without panicking or having to rush around shoving all the clutter and mess out of sight.

    – I don’t want… to be constantly searching for items I know I have, and buying doubles. When tidying my room this year (some of the stuff was still packed in the boxes from when I left the house at university), I found several packs of feminine products, at least 6 bars of soap, countless packets of tissues, and quite a few different pencil-cases. Among other things. All because I couldn’t find the originals among the piles and piles of “stuff”.

    – I don’t want to… have to tell police that my room is normally that messy if we’re ever burgled again.
    Our house (my parents’ house) was burgled a few years ago, and when the police asked what had been taken from my sister’s room as it was such a mess, my mum had to admit nothing – it was always that state. There was money from her birthday on her desk too, but they didn’t even take that. (Not that they should have. But the desk was so cluttered they obviously didn’t see the money.)

  • #224469
    Profile photo of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    I don't want…

    @boxroom – no offense taken. I just noticed both you and @Xiro commented on stuff at parents’ homes, and I felt I should come clean and give my “stuff at home” perspective. But my feelings weren’t hurt.

    And I don’t think you are lazy just because your room was messy at uni! You just had different priorities than you do now – you didn’t realize, yet, the problems that come with the mess, and you were probably out having wonderful experiences (or possibly you were stressed/depressed – I’ve been there). So please do let go of the guilt and forgive yourself – it sounds like you are doing that, which is great.

  • #224472
    Profile photo of
    Anonymous

    I don't want…

    Great lists up here already! Thanks for starting this thread, @boxroom!

    I don’t want… to ever dread moving because of the amount of stuff I’d have to go through. I’ve always loved moving (a bit of a nomad at heart) and I don’t want to reach the point where my posessions would deter me from making a change.

    I don’t want… my life to be taken over by cleaning, dusting, maintainance and constant putting away of my stuff. I want a house that’s not a lot of work so I can spend more time enjoying my surroundings and working on what’s important to me (and cleaning is not my favourite pastime!).

    I don’t want… the state of my house to prevent me from having guests over at a moment’s notice. I love sharing my space with friends, and keeping stuff at bay means more room for entertaining and more time for celebrating those friendships.

    I don’t want… to hold on to things I don’t use or love because they were important to someone else or because they were presents or whatever. There’s no room for guilt clutter in my mind, and I need to do a better job of purging those items from my shelves too.

    I don’t want… to live in cluttered fear of Justin Case, but nor do I want to waste money on things I could’ve saved and would’ve had the space to store. I’m not quite sure where to find that happy point of equilibrium yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s lower than the number of things I keep just-in-case…

  • #224662
    Profile photo of ataylor
    ataylor
    Member

    I don't want…

    @djk very well said! @sleepykitten – point well made. :)

  • #224682
    Profile photo of Astreja
    Astreja
    Participant

    I don't want…

    I don’t want… to buy cheap, temporary “stuff” just to get by until I can get the thing I really wanted (and then have to dispose of the temporary item).

    I don’t want… to have my desk disappear under piles of stuff I just didn’t bother to put away. (files away some printer labels, a pair of scissors and a roll of Scotch tape, and pins the packages of spare guitar strings to the bulletin board while she thinks of a better place to store them)

    I don’t want… to have multiples of items all over the house, yet still be wondering where I left that darned claw hammer.

  • #224750

    I don't want…

    what djk said.

  • #224768
    Profile photo of xhan
    xhan
    Member

    I don't want…

    I dont want…anything else to end up in the landfill if I can help it

  • #224776
    Profile photo of sleepykitten
    sleepykitten
    Member

    I don't want…

    Good one, @xhan!

    I have a few more:

    I don’t want to fall into old patterns because I am surrounded by remnants of a past version of myself.

    I don’t want the messy state of my house to be a barrier to spending time with other people – I am already somewhat shy as it is, so I don’t need any additional barriers/discouragement coming from a cluttered home.

  • #224806
    Profile photo of Lounger
    Lounger
    Member

    I don't want…

    Being in the horrid middle part of re-organising and re-decorating my bed / work room I’ve hit a block and have been reading Unclutterer to find the motivation to finish it. And this thread hit the spot – thanks everyone!

    Boxroom – you’ve reminded me that I still have some stuff at my parents’ house and I’m 38. Eek! It’s not much but obviously would be better for them if it wasn’t there.

    So many of the ‘I don’t / do want’ reasons above struck chord with me, but mainly I want to spend my time productively, socially and creatively, not stuck in a perpetual and rather dull cycle of sorting out my room!

    My sister is an inspiration – she’s always believed that a bedroom should be for just sleeping and relaxing in. Her room always looks lovely and calm. Right… I’d better get back to the piles of sorting.

  • #224816
    Profile photo of bandicoot
    bandicoot
    Member

    I don't want…

    i don’t want to end up surrounded by beautiful stuff that needs attention and care. and never quite satisfied with any of it.

  • #224819
    Profile photo of irishbell
    irishbell
    Member

    I don't want…

    I ditto what djk said, but….
    After my mom passed, there were certain things of hers that I WANTED,
    because they were her! To me, they were her. I’m talking little bitty things- a ring, a vase,
    a small red metal bulldog that was her toy as a girl…etc.
    I wonder what special things of mine my girls will want,that every time they look at
    them, will make them smile and think happily of me.
    It’s the two year anniversary of my moms passing, it’s got me a little melancholy…:)

  • #224831
    Profile photo of Sky
    Sky
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want all the ‘justin case’ excess stuff….such as the stick on letters that go on mailboxes and huge punch out letters in my desk drawers that I’ll never use and 20 pens that work but I hate the way they write.

    I think I’m decluttered and then I think of this kind of stuff hidden away :/

  • #224837
    Profile photo of Xiro
    Xiro
    Member

    I don't want…

    Sky – Some just in case stuff is okay while some is just not needed or can be bought when you notice is coming up, kind of like we have to buy food on a regular basis. I also wonder if pens will get all wonky if they sit for too long.

    One of my do not wants could be anything taking up more space then it needs, I just noticed I have a handful of items where were in something that was just taking up more space for no reason when said item(s) could go along with something else.

  • #224896
    Profile photo of xhan
    xhan
    Member

    I don't want…

    @sleepykitten thanks. I went through the bathroom on Saturday night (oh yeh I’m that cool) and sorted everything that can be recycled. I think about 70% is recyclable! its sickening to think its all gonna end up in a land fill!1 I even found a place that recycles aerosoles!! :D

    ps. toothpaste is the worst culprit! on the hunt for recyclable toothpaste!

    I dont want.. to have to move tonnes and tonnes of stuff when I eventually move out. I want to be able to move and never buy anything ever again until absolutely necessary!

  • #224992
    Profile photo of Lounger
    Lounger
    Member

    I don't want…

    Reading the Migraine thread and especially a post by Bandicoot prompted me to come back here and add another I Don’t Want: I don’t want my home to be a source of stress; I *do* want it to be comforting, restful and easy to live in. When oh when will it stop being a Project?

  • #224995
    Profile photo of ninakk
    ninakk
    Member

    I don't want…

    Lounger: Automation :)

  • #225033
    Profile photo of s
    s
    Member

    I don't want…

    Well said!

  • #225049
    Profile photo of Sky
    Sky
    Member

    I don't want…

    Xiro….I like the word ‘wonky’, I’m gonna use it :)

  • #225061
    Profile photo of chacha1
    chacha1
    Member

    I don't want…

    I don’t want … to have this much stuff when the time comes to move.

    I don’t want … to pay extra rent, or build extra space, simply to store Things.

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