Thanks to Lucy 1965 I read decluttering your "fantasy life".
Fantasy has definitely contributed to the clutter. My fantasy self has time to garden, knit, sew, paint, be a photographer, cook, research the family history, read voraciously and this level of commitment is just not compatible with a full time job.
I think I've got too many fantasy lives going on and need to narrow things down.
Overall Rating: 4 votes
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Posted 9 months ago #
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Ugh, yeah, I know all about this. I became a happier person once I started setting limits to the amount of hobbies that I allow myself to have/clutter the house up with. I thought of what materials make me the most happy and was able to narrow them down; paper (electronic stationery included), fabric and jewellery supplies. Secondary ones are among others yarn, but I will do my best to focus on the primary ones. Same applies to my books; just because I own a book does not mean I automatically read it and embrace its information immediately, so maintaining an illusion of a me through my bookshelf is pathetic. Theory and practice are two entirely different things and I should go out and live the hobbies instead of having texts on them in my possession. I am suddenly free from that entrapment and actually have realized my ideals are different in my present life; fewer grand and rather silly misconceptions, and more action babe.
Posted 9 months ago # -
ahhh, the fantasy self.
i have decluttered several versions, including:
she who goes on elaborate picnics
she who attends cocktail parties
she who entertains like the great gatsby
the bathroom designer
the maker of preservesworking on:
the motorcyclist
the collector of poetry booksPosted 9 months ago # -
uncluttered the entertainer. I had pretty cheese knives, hard alcohol that I was going to use to learn to make fancy mixed drinks (I only drink wine), etc.
still uncluttering she who has a big family. It's really just me, but for a long time I kept stuff thinking I would need it for the big family (e.g., I don't use this blanket, but I probably will when I have 10 kids). I come from a big family but don't really want one myself, so had to give up that notion.
also still uncluttering she who cooks/cleans/does crafts/does yardwork. Turns out, I don't really like to do these things, and therefore don't need muffin tins, cuisinarts, yarn, lawnmowers, etc.
also still uncluttering Carrie Bradshaw. As it turns out, I am not Carrie Bradshaw. Go figure.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I have pretty much decluttered the gardener except for flowers. Would like to get rid of the yardwoker, but it won't happen for awhile.
Posted 9 months ago # -
camellia tree...i i spluttered coffee and laughed aloud when i got to your : as it turns out, i am not carrie bradshaw. go figure.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I have decluttered the Academic and the Baker and the All-Around Artist in favor of the Curious Reader and the Quick Cook and the Embellisher. The Photographer is not in play nearly as often but at least that associated clutter is stealthy!
Posted 9 months ago # -
I wonder why do we do this to ourselves? It seems to be universal, and may be the key to why we are clutter-collectors or recovering clutter-collectors...do you think? :)
I am NOT...a jewelry maker, a sculpter, musician, a baker, a pet store, or a Bed and Breakfast. UNBELIEVABLE how much clutter is gone from all of that!
I am still a bit of a librarian...working on it! :)
Posted 9 months ago # -
I got rid of a lot of stuff for the fantasy gourmet cook I'll never be. Pastry chef/over-enthusiastic home baker stuff stayed, but that stuff I use all the time. Fancy desserts, yes. Fancy meals, no.
I decluttered the fantasy entertainer who gave dinner parties for 10, too. All the giant casserole dishes, the turkey cooker, and the table linens I got for my wedding were given away when I moved. I hadn't used them once. Anytime I've had more than 4 people over, we end up eating something simple and quick like tacos anyhow. And it was usually buffet style and on my Corelle plates, if not plain paper. Come to think of it, most of the fancy dinner stuff was wedding gifts - and not ones I had registered for - so I'm not even sure that counts as MY fantasy!
I uncluttered the fantasy porcelain doll maker. My mom had done it, and I got all the stuff when she passed. I kept hanging on to it, thinking I'd do it too. Nah, I don't like dolls that much. Out it went.
I decluttered the fantasy runner. I had started a wardrobe suitable for running outside, but I hate running with the sun or the rain or the bugs or the heat or neighbor's dogs barking and chasing me. I walk or jog on my treadmill, with the AC on, and the TV playing a DVD, and I'm usually still in my pjs with my sneakers quickly wedged on. If it involves going outside for exercise - I don't even get dressed.
Posted 9 months ago # -
ArtGal, I really wonder how many of our fantasy selves come from the media. At least one of mine did (Carrie Bradshaw). And I think "the entertainer" for me came at least partially from catalogs like Pottery Barn and media such as the Martha Stewart empire (but hey, at least my Carrie Bradshaw self didn't feel the need to entertain!) I think social pressures add to it- for women there is pressure to be Martha Stewart + Marilyn Monroe. I'm sure for men there are similar pressures to be Bob Vila + ???.
Posted 9 months ago # -
really a great thread -- fun to read -- and profound also.
I am in the process of decluttering The Theologian. Being in ministry is different than re-reading all the nice thick books that look pretty on the shelves. And now I am not in ministry. I was looking at my shelf of leadership books just the other day and thinking that they would all be obsolete before I had any need of them again.
I am cluttering The Writer. I moved all my theology books (purged many of them) and put my writing books in their place, the spot that is most accessible.
Posted 9 months ago # -
The one that sews
The one with no child, who travels light and often
The poet
The Family ArchivistPosted 9 months ago # -
I think this is my most favorite thread ever!
Though I need to think about it some more before I post seriously.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I've mostly decluttered the Supreme Computer Geek, who dreamed of having one of every operating system available, running on a bank of computers so massive it would heat my house in January. I'm down to 2 computers now, a laptop and a desktop system, and about to replace the desktop system with a nice all-purpose system.
The Occasional Knitter has wandered off somewhere and taken The Would-Be Weaver with her. The Tailor is hanging tough (and occasionally repairing a seam or sewing a button back on).
The Mystic sent all her astrology books to a second-hand store years ago, but is still hanging onto her favourite set of Tarot cards and a small bowl of crystals and other semi-precious stones.
The Musician Who Can Play Darn Well Everything decided that, well, no, she couldn't play everything -- At least, not very well or not very often. An Irish drum, an alto recorder, a tin whistle and a 12-string guitar are already gone. 2 other guitars and 2 keyboards are spoken for; the flute may or may not get reassembled someday; and the older of the 2 clarinets is on the way out. That'll leave me with 1 clarinet (my main instrument), a bass, a guitar and a violin... And room for a decent piano. Haven't decluttered the dream of learning how to play French horn, though.
The Gardener, the Gourmet Cook and the General Contractor are here to stay, I think (along with rakes, shovels, pots, pans and a somewhat more orderly toolbox).
Posted 9 months ago # -
In the kitchen, I don't intend to pursue cookies, shortbread, bread, cakes etc. in large quantities. I will not be a person who gifts such for christmas, no matter how much I like the idea of it. I was starting to build a utensils' cupboard without knowing much in theory but luckily decided against expanding before having purchased a few books. Glad I did as they gave me valuable insight into what methods and ingredients I might actually want to learn in greater depth to work with! Plus I gave up the idea of being a Cookery Librarian.
I love the idea of being a Star Gardener and like gardening programmes, especially the English ones, but if there is one thing I have learned from my very irregular Farmville gaming is that it is the idea of it only, the pavement rose's dream of sunshine, all the different smells and colours, being one with nature, perfection. JuliaJayne mentioned her time was spent in the garden ten years ago but that this is not her anymore and I fear I might repeat the pattern, only much sooner. Have trouble with the balcony flowers as it is, see... Fresh herbs in the kitchen I usually kill within a few days, although I have had a huge success with the current basil - but am sane enough to see this green thumb is very temporary. So no house with huge garden unless the husband would volunteer to cut the grass, and a little patio with a few plants ready to be tortured daily can suffice. My grandma who just left the building clearly did not pass on her magic. Sniff, oh well.
The Concert Pianist is lurking in there somewhere, but the recently decluttered piano suggests that it might take a few years before she's attempting to resurface. Will take the opportunity to go through the music sheets in the meantime.
The Philatelist left a smallish heap of stamps in my basement as she walked out about two decades ago. She staid with me for no more than a year and was feeding on the knowledge that my late grandpa was keen on stamps. Gawd, it feels like a burden still and I almost can't bring myself to open that one box - don't know what to do with them yet.
The Poet is actually lurking under the surface and she's reemerging soon after her beauty sleep of a decade's length. All it takes is a pen and a notebook that I still look at once in a blue moon - and what I read is rather good, almost like I didn't write it. Will see.
I flirted from a distance with Carrie Bradshaw, let myself be allured for a short while, and still have a deep fascination for all things pretty. Am relieved not to feel the least bit of urge to fill my own closet though, as it seems so wasteful; crying for the planet I guess.
The Librarian lost her go-go that one day as it dawned to me that I was more into the concept of information than the books. I love the feel of a decent bookshelf, it makes me safe at home, but to keep non-wanted books when there are better ones on their way all of a sudden seemed dense, illogical. Books aren't sacred and a few nicks in the spine here and there means they've been read, unlike my approach pre-decluttering.
And come to think of it, I am most likely not a Porcelain Painter, although I could take the clutter that is sitting there currently, at grandma's I mean. I'd love the process itself, but to force myself to deal with the aftermath - the Stuff - makes me suffocate. I Don't Need More Stuff in my kitchen, am kinda all set.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Yeah, Poet indeed... Short and sweet huh.
Posted 9 months ago # -
ArtGal,
Your comment 'this may be the key to why we are clutter-collectors' does explain my main cluttering problems, I'm interested in trying too many things. I had the time to do some of these when I was a SAHM and then when I was working part time, but now I don't and I have to be more selective. Things will of course change when I get to retirement age but I still ought to thin things down.Jennifer,
I agree it needs thought.
This concept is so big for me I'm just going to tackle it one fantasy at a time.CRAFT
My 'I can make anything crafty self' has already been decluttered once some years ago. She needs revisiting and some sense talking into her!
I'd tried lots of different sorts of handicrafts and then realised that people used to become experts in their local craft because they only worked at one. I stopped trying to lacemake, do tatting, silk paint, make fimo clay jewelery, do any embroidery other than cross stitch and hardanger work.
The problem had been that I'd go to a craft show and think 'I'll not buy that item I like' because I could make it myself. However this led to the associated clutter of materials and tools.The Embroiderer
I made too many cross stitch pieces with no utility,while waiting in the car while DS was having music lessons. As I don't want to clutter all the walls with them I vowed to only make things I could use, that was about 6 years ago and I haven't cross stitched since then, still have all the stuff, patterns and books.
Ditto Hardanger work.
Decisions to be made here.The Knitter
Used to knit at work during lunchtime and in all other small time spaces, has been ousted by the Voracious Reader. Is still working on a norwegian jumper promised to DS a few years ago. Mostly we now wear fleece for warmth so the need for thick wooly jumpers has passed.
I committ to getting rid of the yarn oddments store, the full range of knitting needles can stay for JustinCase there are any baby garments to knit in my future.The Dressmaker
No longer makes most of her clothes, is now mainly a mender and makes fancy dress outfits from time to time when I usually have to buy suitable materials. The cloth stash should go.The Patchwork Quilter
Has been inactive for most of my life, the quilt I started making when we got married 30 years ago is not yet complete. It is a fantasy that I need to discuss with DH, I think he has an emotional attachment to the idea that I may one day complete it.Posted 9 months ago # -
The librarian - Got sick and tired of trying to have a gazillion books to impress my friends. So out with books and in with Kindle (my new best friend).
The Carrie Bradshaw - This one is kind of tough... It's a work in progress, I guess. I doesn' help that I work with women who look just like they left the set of SatC... And I change ideias I lot, so one day I'm Carrie Bradshaw and next day I'm Mother Teresa (but taller). Oh well...
The yoga teacher - Threw out the books and manuals I had on yoga (except for a small book to do yoga at home). I like yoga, I do it at home and sometimes at the gym, but do I really need to know the names of the asanas in sanskrit??
The astrologist - Now I just read about astrology for fun (just like I did with yoga).
Posted 9 months ago # -
You know, Netleigh, I realized exactly the same. People who excel at something stick with a very selected few areas and leave the rest alone. bandicoot, was it you, who said that you rather excel in one/a couple area(s)?
All my life I have been the one who maintains the overview, but for me to ever have a proper job with a decent income, I need to focus focus focus. And for that to happen, the hobbies need to be qualitative, not quantitative. It is scary to let go of dreams, ideas and fantasies, but it helps to think of what one gains by doing so, I find.
I am not radical enough to chuck all unwanted things out in one go, but have patience to give myself time to think things through. A perfect example are the corks that I started making a coaster of; not ready yet, but it will be since I am committed to the project. Plus had to buy some more glue for the gun. After the coaster is done, I'll see whether I'll make more or want to stop. Same goes for the old christmas cards (I have never trashed any personal mail... *sigh*); I want to go through them with enough time, in the right mood, and then decide what to do. I think I might reuse/repurpose some of them and this is in line with my more selected range of paper hobby.
Edit:
The Black-and-white Photographer; took a course once, had fun, staid with b/w photography for quite some time thereafter, didn't develop own photos after course. Done.Posted 9 months ago # -
My husbands great grandmother, and master quilter, told me when I started beading on top of quilting and sewing; "The jack of all trades, is a master of none."
That stuck w me. But I should declutter the fantasy grad student, since I've yet to apply. The couture seamstress, I sew diapers. The master quilter, I've made two.
Posted 9 months ago #
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