What to do with birth announcements and papers from funerals?

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What to do with birth announcements and papers from funerals?

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Started 1 year ago by Ox
Latest reply from irishbell
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Ox
Member

Hi everyone,

I'm a recovering compulsive hoarder. I had a large plastic bin where I tossed papers I wanted to keep for years. Over the years I've been going through this bin and getting rid of things. The more I got rid of the harder it got. One day I emptied the whole bin out and sorted everything into two piles. One pile was stuff I knew I really wanted to keep. That went back in the bin. The rest I called my "decision needed" pile. I could toss stuff out, scan it into my computer, type the information into my computer or keep the item BUT, whatever I did, it needed to be a conscious decision, not a result of being indecisive. I've gotten rid of a lot of the stuff so far but now I'm getting down to the really hard stuff.

I have three birth annoucements I've hung onto from my cousins. I really want to keep the information but I'm not sure if I need to keep the paper. I never look at the annoucements but I worry I may later regret tossing the cards out even if I scan them into my computer.

I also have three peices of paper I've gotten from friends' funerals. Again, I worry I may regret tossing out the papers even if I scan them.

I would love to hear feedback on this. Have you tossed this kind of stuff and later regretted it or are you glad you tossed it?

Posted 1 year ago #
Snow
Member

Hello and Congratulations to you doing such a fabulous job. There is one thing I have with papers that I am not sure I need them, ie: it's a call of you never know. I put a few papers behind a Picture in a frame, I know they are there, the picture means a lot, one day, I will feel that the picture feels cluttered, and I will scan them onto photobucket and toss them or hand them over to a family member that may need them, or feel they do. Oh Shame On Me ...

Posted 1 year ago #
bandicoot
Member

hi ox!
i can't really answer this one.
i have never kept that kind of thing.
however, i am over forty years old and i've never felt a regret or sense of loss that i've never kept that kind of thing. i live a happy life without other people's birth announcements/ funeral cards in my possession. i hope that makes sense!
i truly think you could let them go and you would never regret it.
perhaps send these documents to the relevant people or next of kin.

imagine you have died.
imagine your house full of relatives dividing up your stuff.
can you see anyone who wants those documents?
if you can, then send them to that person now.
it will be ok, i promise you.

Posted 1 year ago #
Sky
Member

About a year ago, I went through all my "keepsakes". I looked at the funeral notices, cards, etc. and decided they were nothing but negative and tossed them all. Also tossed the birth announcements, graduations, ticket stubs, etc., and only kept a few greeting cards from parents. children and grandparents.

It is impossible to keep everything so I only keep the most important. I don't regret my decision at all!

Posted 1 year ago #
luxcat
Member

For anyone other than my own first degree relatives (mother, father, spouse/partner and children if you have them) I scan it then toss the paper item. I've started doing this with all the photos that friends and family send us of their children, family xmas photos, etc too. To be honest I very seldom go back and look at any of it, and some people may consider it "digital clutter" but to me it's a step in the right direction.

I like the idea of putting it behind a photo that is already framed and hanging on your wall, smart idea.

Posted 1 year ago #
susanintexas
Member

There is something to be said for traditional societies that have prescribed rituals for dealing with stuff like this. It might help to isolate the reasons what you want to keep them. Are they especially beautiful? Do you anticipate that rising generations may want to have them? If so, putting them in an album or a special (small) box might be the best way to keep them. Have they been invested with "magical" properties so that it seems somehow disrespectful to trash them? Perhaps then getting rid of them in a ceremony (perhaps burning them) would add a sense of dignity that a trash can cannot confer.

Why do you think you may have regrets? You are really the only one who can answer that . . .

Posted 1 year ago #
Another Deb
Member

I began doing genealogy in earnest in my late 40's and am always surprised when a relative comes up with these kinds of documents.

Events from pre-internet years are available on places like Ancestry.com, I know, but it is nice to have the actual document if you are doing research. Having the clippings has saved me countless hours in locations I can't visit and has brought me closer to the lives of those who came before. You might ask the family involved if they want these keepsakes for their own records. Perhaps theirs have gotten lost or damaged.

Posted 1 year ago #
Jude2004
Member

I've been scanning everything and keeping multiple backups. I can understand that you feel the need to make a decision, but I see nothing wrong with this decision: "I will keep this item in an organized fashion (e.g., in a file folder where I can find it) until I feel that I can get rid of it. Right now I think that it shouldn't mean too much to me, but since it still does, I'm going to keep it." Then set a date in a month, 6 months, or a year to look at it again.

Posted 1 year ago #
Ox
Member

Thank you everyone. Especially susanintexas. I sometimes have to question my motives in other areas of my life as well and I'm surprised I didn't think to do that here. I think it really boils down to the compulsive part of hoarding. I hang onto things for no better reason than because I feel like I should.

Scanning for me has been an acceptable compromise. It may be digital clutter to some but for me it's a way to hang onto things I want without actually hanging onto the item. I also find that scanning is a major chore and sometimes I decide things just aren't worth that much effort to hang onto. By the time I'm done scanning all my paper clutter it should only take one or maybe two discs to store. Not bad at all considering where I started.

Posted 1 year ago #
tmichelle
Member

If you go the scanning route, you can take all your papers to a copy shop and have them scan them through a scan/copier machine. You can pick up many boxes of papers at the end of the day.

Posted 1 year ago #
SunshineR
Member

Ox, I can relate to your story. My mom and grandma saved those sorts of things, too. I do appreciate having ones from relatives I never knew, such as my dad's parents. I kept a few of them because someday I want to trace part of my family tree.

Posted 1 year ago #
Netleigh
Member

Have you got photos of the cousins and friends? If you feel you should keep them just have one 'loved people' photo album that you can put on an accessible shelf and look at from time to time, put the papers with the photos and then they won't be forgotten in a box in a heap.
I have all the family photos and documents and am putting them best of the memorabilia and photos into a family history album. Hopefully it will result in one book that my son would like to keep out of all the photos when I am gone.

Posted 1 year ago #
xarcady
Member

I think if you are down to six pieces of paper that you're unsure of, you have done a fantastic job!

Don't be too hard on yourself about six pieces of paper. I think those papers are a perfect candidate for putting them in an envelope and marking today's date on it. In six months, reevaluate the papers. At that time, you may have a better sense of whether to keep or to toss them. There really isn't a perfect answer to this question--it's all about what works best for you.

Posted 1 year ago #
irishbell
Member

I've only kept my own childrens birth announcements for their baby books. I've only kep funeral programs from my mil , grandmother, uncle, and my mother. Not being a hoarder I don't see the importance of keeping more.I tend to get rid of things, rather than save them, all my life. Can't remember barely anything I've gotten rid of that I wished I hadnt .

Posted 1 year ago #

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