'it's funny, because my ass stays the same size but you just get ruder every time'
'what are you doing looking at my ass, you pervert?'
'comment on my ass ever again and I will throw you out on yours'
I would so unclutter this man.
Overall Rating: votes
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Posted 9 months ago #
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Lottie, I wish we had a "like" function!
Give him hell mskris!
I like the response Mimi.
I do not understand this compulsion of (usually inadequate) people to comment on our personal appearance. Are they trying to make us feel as bad as they do? Do they think we value their opinions? Let's make a pact to call them on it, especially that passive aggressive crap!
Posted 9 months ago # -
When the backhanded compliment (often simple tactlessness) morphs into the open insult, I believe it's usually the "crabs in a bucket" syndrome at work.
People, collectively, try to discourage outliers. Those who are trying to excel, or even just to improve, (i.e. the crabs who are trying to escape) are nearly always faced with resistance, discouragement, and ridicule from crabs who would rather stay safely in their bucket.
I have seen this over and over again and I think it's why small communities tend to get increasingly conservative and intolerant. The motivated, adventurous people LEAVE.
There are also people who are just mean. My policy with mean people is zero tolerance. One offensive or cruel remark (I'm not that easily offended) and I simply don't interact with that person again. Ever.
Posted 9 months ago # -
our living room doubles (chuckle, grin)as the museum (iow my collection)and leads to many comments such as asking my hubby:" do you like living like this?" or "do you have any say in this?" (he has bought at least one quarter of the items)
Mostly they ask: "how much time do you spend just dusting? "(i do it quarterly while watching 2 movies back to back.)
As to my my being overweight, many comments like the ones above, but just two months ago i got cut-outs from the newspaper from my DHs relatives about fat suction, stomach staple operations and ads for cures at resort places known here as fat farms. There is always the "we are concerned about you" but they say nothing like that to or about him, who is also overweight.
Not sure if this is a back handed compliment, but at a restaurant some years back, DH sighed:" i don't know what to order, everything on this list i can get at home."
Overheard our DD say to her (newlywed) husband: "see, that's why i am messy also, i never learned to be as fussy as you are."
Overheard my neighbour say:"It's clean, but there are piles everywhere at her place, even though they'ed have enough room now that daughter has moved out."
I don't understand the logic there, am i supposed to pile all the piles in my daughter's ex-room? (we do that when we have to clear dining room table anyway!)Posted 5 months ago # -
I had no idea until recently that my mother is the Queen of Backhanded Compliments.
Here are a few:
"Your hair looks so much nicer than the last time I saw you."
"You look great! You were getting chunky when I saw you last." I went back and looked at pics, and I was wearing the exact same pair of jeans and sweater for both visits. Keep in mind, I'm a size 4. So yes, even thin girls get comments about our weight. And trust me, if I lost 5 pounds she'd be complaining that I look emaciated.
On the most recent visit, she went on and on about how awful my house used to look.
Is it so hard to just give a compliment without adding some sort of qualifier? "Your house looks wonderful. You've obviously done a lot to it since my last visit" would be sufficient. "It was so dark and dingy before" is taking it too far.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Those are pretty bad, too. Oh well, what doesn't kill us...
Posted 5 months ago # -
shebolt- right there with you, my mother is also a Queen of the Backhanded Compliment, and Empress of the Nasty Comments.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Mothers.... While I love and miss mine something awful,
she could be a royal pain at times.
One thing she would say upon occasion
"you can be so thoughtful..... when you want to"
(Nothing to do with clutter or cleaning, but
a backhanded compliment none the less)Posted 5 months ago # -
i cannot even begin to get into the comments about weight and appearance that i have been subjected to over the years from my family.
i am quite fat and quite happy with it.
i am quite fat, but i am not at all lazy, greedy, smelly, stupid, ugly, depressed, unsexy, badly-dressed, ill-groomed, unattractive, shy, unsuccessful, unhealthy, loser-ish, or any of the other things that a lot of people like to confuse with extra weight.
my whole family talk and think nonstop about their weight and everyone else's....it is offensive and tedious.
i know i am a major burr under their saddles :)Posted 5 months ago #
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