I've started this post twice and deleted both my efforts.
I am still not quite sure how to approach the topic and am hoping that you all, as you always seem to, see through the awkwardness and post some wise stuff in return :)
I started a project that has been on my list for literally years today- cleaning out two small boxes... One of journals from my high school and undergraduate years, and one box of academic records (evaluations from my teachers and my students, course papers) from undergrad and grad school. Little did I know what I was getting into.
What I found made me proud, angry, VERY angry, and opened up my eyes to some things that have proven to be core personality traits, not just phases or habits.
I work hard, sometimes too hard. I do not play well with others unless I respect them, then we do well as a team. I am both technical and creative but am more gifted in the former category than the latter. I have overcome great challenges. I have not strangled some people who probably should have been strangled. I used to write much better because I practiced it more.
So here's my dilemma. I am glad that I saved these items, especially from high school and undergrad days- and I will scan and save several of them... but some of what I found was gut-wrenchingly negative. Example: the letter from my graduate school that told me that basically they would have thrown me out if I hadn't of been in my last courses, and that I was a terrible human being who would never be gainfully employed. I hated graduate school. I had very little respect for my professors and in my youth and inexperience I imagine I let it show. I had worked professionally prior to grad school and I could see through what ---- they were handing me in the guise of education. I had borrowed a lot of money and worked very hard to be accepted in what was supposed to be one of the most competitive programs in the nation, and I got handed a mess.
I am happy to say I am gainfully employed in a related field to my degree and while my admittedly difficult personality traits remain in my late 30s, my boss and clients appreciate me (and tolerate me) for what I am and their appreciation and tolerance have made me extremely successful.
All that drivel aside... do I shred the documents that make me really angry? Or should I keep them to remind myself of where I come from, etc. It's sort of like keeping a photo of a friend or family member who abused you terribly. You know it happened, you won't forget... looking at that photo brings back horrible memories... yet it also reminds that you are a survivor, and give you the opportunity to wonder at all the positive things that you have now in your life in comparison.
Keep or shred?
