oy vey, I am seriously verklempt...Daughter #3 has decided to move their wedding date from summer of 2012 to summer of 2011. This will be "my" third time planning/throwing a wedding. This daughter is not much of a bridezilla, more of a flower child, so I think there may be a chance of a more simple down to earth experience!
Even though I am somewhat experienced at this-I will read any/all advice or tips. Thanks.
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Posted 1 year ago #
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I love weddings. LOL. I planned our wedding not too long ago and so all the craziness (*nostalgically remembering some hectic but wonderful months*) is still fresh in my memory. There are many, many ideas on how to throw a wedding on a tight budget and/or with ecology (well, in this case uncluttered style) in mind. Do you need to book a church or other type of ceremony place? And what about a party place? How many guests do you expect? If you need places outside your home, those you should start with. Gardens can be oh so beautiful as reception venues! More info, please :D <3 <3 <3 is in the air...
Posted 1 year ago # -
Mazel tov!
1. Backyard at sunset. 2. ask a friend to officiate (in our state, any individual can be authorized by the county clerk to perform one legal ceremony on one given date. We had a friend do our ceremony; it was great) if a religious ceremony is not required. 3. ask another friend to be a DJ (have your daughter compile the music) or play guitar. 4. Only close family and friends. 5. Drinks and cake only.
Those are my suggestions for an uncluttered wedding. Have fun! The good thing about doing it "early" is ... it will be DONE!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Congratulations!
DH and I dressed up in the nicest clothes we owned at the time, grabbed DS and two friends, and went to the County courthouse. Half an hour later? Married. The license was $50, the judge's fee another $50, and worth every cent (we were all laughing so hard that we had to ask if the vows counted if the JUDGE was cracking up and the witnesses -- also laughing themselves silly -- weren't US citizens. Hey, we didn't know!); the rings were $300 total, and 15 years later we're still (as one friend put it) "disgustingly married".
(As for a reception, our friends/witnesses hauled us to a pub they loved and announced to the room that we'd just gotten married; after showing the landlord our copy of the license, we couldn't buy a drink all night. *grin* AND we have a big party every year to coincide with the trade show most of our friends are in town for, so they've actually managed to get 15 parties out of us!)
This is NOT for everyone! It suited us, but we're neither one of us good with crowds and unless it's chosen cosplay, we hate dressing up.
Posted 1 year ago # -
thanks people, this is great. keep 'em comin'......
Posted 1 year ago # -
A garden wedding is lovely, with candles, flowers, soft music. May I suggest a white tent...because (well, where I'm from anyhow) we have a lot of rain. There are some actually nice looking white tents and the sides can be unrolled in the event of rain.
A friend of mine had her summer late afternoon ceremony on the lawn with rows of white folding chairs. Two teenage relatives played violin and they did very well. I definitely like the idea of letting the bride help choose the music selections. Then, the reception was held inside because the bride and groom wanted to have a traditional dance reception. And I think they had already discussed having the hall ready like that, in case of a ceremony rainout.
I love the website, Once Wed. They have photos and stories, suggestions for various themes and colors.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I love the idea of a simple wedding. We had a small wedding too. Total cost, with gown, food, etc...right at $1000.00.
I have also seen the simplest and most beautiful ceremonies held in a gazebo at the local park, with only close friends in attendance. The wedding was about the couple and their love, not all the money and glitz that sometimes overclouds a wedding.
Other ideas: State Parks with beautiful scenery or rock formations, lakeside or oceanside, a farm or ranch, the middle of a flowery field, someone's beautiful backyard.
For anything wedding related, your local Dollar Tree now carries beautiful items for brides and weddings. They also have lovely, cheap candles and other items that could be used if you need simple decor.
If you need flower arrangements for tables, you could use flowers like Zinnias, Daisies, Blackeyed Susans and place them in decorative metal (such as bright and colorful food cans) or glass containers like empty wine bottles or canning jars.
Posted 1 year ago # -
My ex and I married at a state park, with a friend officiating. We asked the guests to bring food; it was a potluck. We baked the wedding cake ourselves and quarreled over just how to do so the day before the wedding. So the total cost for the wedding was the ingredients for the cake plus two carnation leis.
Posted 1 year ago # -
First thing to unclutter is the guest list! That simplifies things right away.
Next idea - check out (not buy) one of those "Plan your Bridezilla Wedding" books from the library. Sit with daughter and ask her about each and every part of a "traditional" wedding. Does she love it? Does she want to do it? Will groom hate any of it? Remind her that she isn't required to have anything but a bride, a groom, an officiant and a license. Everything else is optional, so only do things she really wants to do.
Personally, I wanted to elope, but groom figured his aunts would hunt us down on our honeymoon and drag us back to a church if they didn't get to party. (Huge family!) So, I skipped - the big gown ($150 ivory evening dress from Penny's instead) skipped the favors (poured Hershey kisses around the restaurant candles, added curly ribbon in appropriate colors), skipped the overpriced flowers (silk looks the same in photos - I had my sister arrange them, and they were beautiful), skipped the giant professional cake (no one really likes wedding cake that much - I served massive trays of brownies and had an aunt make a tiny one to cut for pics), skipped the multiple attendants (big family=multiple cousins=logistical nightmare, so we only had a best man and a maid of honor) which also skips the huge costs on gifts for attendants, skipped the return cards with the invitations (just go buffet and figure 80% will show), and skipped the professionally printed invites (I used my computer and printer and fancy paper - if you have friends who do stamping or scrapbooking, you could use their assistance as well).
As long as you provide great food, a short ceremony and little or no boring wait time between ceremony and reception, everyone will have fun and if they care about the cost, phooey on 'em. (Free and plentiful alcohol helped at mine as well.)
I completely refused to do a lot of traditional things like a unity candle, a soloist, a thousand posed photographs (30 minutes, max, before the wedding, so no guest has to sit around and wait for us to finish) the hokey pokey, the chicken dance, and worst of all, the horrid local tradition called the dollar dance, where the bride and groom collect money from each guest who wants to dance with them for a couple of seconds during the song. Ugggh.It's all optional. If you make a list of I-really-really-want things, you can eliminate an awful lot of expense and clutter.
Posted 1 year ago # -
We booked our wedding onboard a steamship at Lake Tahoe. Yes, it was a destination wedding, but with immediate family in far-flung states, it would have been anyway and Tahoe was better than Phoenix that time of year! Being on a boat eliminated all but 25 guests. We were served a luncheon onboard and had a cruise after the ceremony with other tourists. The cake came from Safeway and tasted fine. It was memorable at reasonable cost, everyone had a lovely time. I would bet that there can be something similar done at your location on a vintage train, etc. Hotels are getting very good about creating packages that relieve you of a lot of the details.
Posted 1 year ago # -
jbeany, I LOVE wedding cake! Well almost all, just not that nasty carrot cake some brides disappoint with :)
Posted 1 year ago # -
We got married at home with just 12 people there - family was a continent away and we'd been living together for 16 years anyway. Costs were a cake from a European bakery, champagne, license.and official, plus 2 silk bouquets (me and matron of honor) and a professional photographer. No gown, one attendant each, a friend videotaping and cake and champagne for refreshments. Our 23rd anniversary is Sat.
Posted 1 year ago # -
why don't you take 5 steps back, let them organise it all, if you feel bad, just make your contribution cash
Posted 1 year ago # -
I think one of the keys seems to be the amount of guests, especially based on the replies here. If you love many and want to include them, I don't see a problem in that. We sent out 80+ invitations and since many went to other countries only half turned up. Only people we really care about were invited. I think there are other ways to declutter a wedding, but this is of course completely depending on the couple's preferences and personalities in general :)
Posted 1 year ago # -
How to have an uncluttered wedding - make the happy couple plan it themselves. If they are old enough to think they can plan a life together, then they need to be prepared to plan something relatively simple like the wedding that starts that life together. I'm not saying you can't provide assistance but since it's their day they should plan it.
pkilmain - congratulations on almost 40 years together!
Posted 1 year ago # -
I love this thread!!
I am 40, and in May we celebrate our 20th - and we are doing so with a vow renewal ceremony.
At 20, well..I had no clue. I had the huge Catholic wedding and reception. And I loved it - but this time, it's going to be so much more fun. I know what I like now, I know what I want, I'm not nervous about being married, etc.
And of course, it'll be much simpler! So now I'm off to look at the site Once Wed that SunshineR suggested! oh, and congrats irishbell - I'm sure it'll be wonderful no matter what!! :)
Posted 1 year ago # -
I think it's good to remember that what is most important is the *marriage*, not the wedding.
I've seen two young women, daughters of friends of mine, have extravagant destination weddings (one on a Caribbean cruise ship, the other flew everyone from Texas to Hawaii.) Both weddings were more than a year in the planning. Neither marriage lasted out the year.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Hrm, yeah, the craziest weddings are those way too expensive in comparison with income level in general. Think house vs. wedding. Some actually choose the wedding... Like susanintexas said, it's just one day and even if it's worth celebrating, it's only day 1 of marriage. As a side note, I was happy to plan over a longer time because it allowed me to put it on ice several times and I know many who do longer than a year, around two to three even. I guess for some it's also a budget issue, but then they should maybe take the uncluttered road :)
Posted 1 year ago # -
I think there is social value in planning a wedding. It is an opportunity for the two families to work together and perhaps reconcile their inevitable differences in culture, income, expectations, etc. It reinforces that marriage is a public as well as a private commitment. But in some cases the extravagance really goes too far and overshadows everything else that is important. Sorry -- this is a bit of a flea in my ear . . .
Posted 1 year ago # -
Acquire Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding. Full of all kinds of useful and important stuff, like why you do not need to waste your time and money on buying favors for your guests. Why you don't need any theme to the wedding other than "boy and girl get married". I got married last summer and this book was my bible.
Posted 1 year ago #
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