The trap that's called being whimsical

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The trap that's called being whimsical

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Started 2 years ago by Suzy
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Suzy
Member

I think everybody on here has a weakness that allows clutter to creep into their lives.

Tonight I realised I think I found mine and I'm curious about other unclutterers having it.

It's called being whimsical.

When it comes to long-term life goals like studies I'm usually not whimsical (thank goodness) - although making up my mind about those things takes forever.
It are the little things in life that are difficult.

My favourite sports, favourite foods and favourite entertainment change very quickly.
I look in my closet and I find CDs and an Ipod I don't listen to although at the time I desperately wanted to have them, because I watch clips on Youtube - I always switch those up.
I lend a lot from the library, but the books I desperately wanted to have lay untouched on the shelves. Same with films. And makeup and jewelry (I never wear any). And shampoo. And art supplie (before I threw out a lot of it).
I don't have the heart to throw those things away yet. (I did unclutter a lot already though.) Throwing it out makes my family react rather negative, as they dislike my whimsicality.

I look at those things and I feel miserable. In that aspect I envy my mother who eats 1 cheese sandwich for breakfast every morning for 15 years already.
I can't even imagine what I will eat for lunch tomorrow. After eating the same thing for breakfast for a week I'm already bored out of my skull.
I own few things I use on a regular basis. (On the upside I don't feel the need to own very much.)

I am using employing the 'wait-30-days-before-buying-it'-rule. That one usually works, though sometimes I slip up, which once ended in me getting ride of an entire collection of minature houses.

I've kind of solved the problem for now with not going to Book/DVD/CD stores anymore so I won't tempt myself.
I think I'll just ask practical things and experiences from now on.

Anybody here who recognises this bwehaviour and who wants to share tips and experiences? :-)

Posted 2 years ago #
terriok
Member

Whimsy! What an enchanting word!

You squirrel. Sometimes I buy two of things I really like, just in case! ;o)

Variety is terrific! I wish I was less a critter of habit.

I saw this drop dead gorgeous suede fringe jacket (orangish). Very cool. I wanted it so badly. It cost a small fortune. So I bought myself a birthday present. I still have it. I still wear it. I still love it. I still get compliments on it. Friends want to wear it! I wear it when I want to look hippie-ish and too cool.

I do not do that enough! I tend to buy a lot of little stuff. Any major purchase makes me nervous!

Treat yourself occasionally!

Signed,
Squirrelly Maclayclaim

Posted 2 years ago #
Claycat
Member

Oh, that jacket sounds wonderful! I used to wear the tall suede boots with fringe on them when I started to college in the late sixties. I painted flowers on my face, too. :)

Posted 2 years ago #
ragabond
Member

Impulse buyer? Or just trying to fill some void? Stuff works for a while but then you have to go get MORE to get the fix. Sometimes just the act of looking for things will satisfy the need but what would people say if you always came home empty handed? Oh subterfuge. If I live my life in a barren, empty room will I find the answers or remain forever clueless to the utopia I seek.
Meet me at the mall?

Posted 2 years ago #
terriok
Member

Claycat! Being a hippie was so cool. I am still hippie-ish. I have never had as much fun as I did in high school.

I had saved my jean jacket from high school. I had attached star studs along the bottom. I had sewn (Me? Sew?) cool patches on the pocket and on the top of the sleeves. I loved that jacket. Perfect fit.

I finally lost enough weight a few years ago. I climbed into that jacket. I actually got IN it. But, lo and behold, the bottom of my sleeves were halfway up to my elbow!

Gravity had done a job on my arms like I was some sort of monkey! Or I grew! My arms? LOL. In a few years, I'll be dragging my knuckles on the ground!

Peace, baby, peace!

Posted 2 years ago #
klutzgrrl
Member

interesting idea. WHimsy. Well you could look at that in various ways, couldn't you.

I can think of quite a few items of clothing I've bought on impulse, thinking they were artsy and looked like the 'me' I wanted to be... but in reality I live in basic jeans and boots... it's just easier and more practical. THat collection of useless beaded bags (oh yes I didn't mention those did I.... ) ... they're whimsical.

Another interpretation of whimsy is changable and acting on impluse... I've always been mad keen on one thing for a while, then I'll change tacks and be mad keen on something else. Though I've discovered that I often go back to interests, so I'm wary of tossing things that I'm temporarily disinterested in.

But also I think of whimsical as frivolous, meaningless... playful frippery. Play is important but it can also take over (in our entertainment-saturated lives) so we lose track of what really matters...

Posted 2 years ago #
Suzy
Member

@Klutzgirl, you broke it down nicely.

The 'me' you want to be, I do recognise. I never wear make up, but I've bought it because I thought it might fit who I wanted to be ... less red-faced at least (the skin on my cheeks is very thin, so I always look like I'm having a fever.) I think I've bought the wrong foundation, or I'm just not a foundation person.

I'm very changeable. I frequently get into new things. And yeah, about 80% of the clutter I've removed from my home was me removing things I've bought on impulse. I'm starting to learn which interests will stick, but it takes will power to review potentials new belongings and then abstain.

The meaninglessness ... I gotta be careful I don't fall victim to it. I'm starting to learn how to deal with it all, but if I'm not careful I invest in time-sucks.

@ragabond: Maybe I'm trying to fill up a void. The past couple of years and even now I'm not happy with me and how my life is turning out. That's what made me decide not to go to Book/CD/DVD stores anymore; the idea I might be buying stuff because I'm so unhappy and depressed and looking for something. With stores other than those that sell books/CDs/DVDs, I can often just look at the items and dismiss them.

I always try to cheer myself up by saying I'm at least not as boring as I always claim to be.

Posted 2 years ago #
bandicoot
Member

you don't sound boring at all, suzy.

these days i am allowing myself as much music and as many books as i want....digitally.
and because i have literally allowed myself a limitless supply....i find i have become much more selective.
isn't that weird?
seriously, how much music can you really listen to?
personally, i like to revisit my favourite music over and over.
new favourites are added very slowly, over time....they have to pass tests!
enjoying my ever-so-slowly-increasing favourites takes longer and longer and leaves me with less and less time to find new stuff.
omg, i am turning into an old fogey!

i also enjoy re-reading books.
knowing the end is not in the least a detraction of my enjoyment of the style of the writing and my knowledge of the characters.
as i get older and re-read stuff, i also come to new realisations about things (characters, situations) in my favourite books....ie as i change, so does my appreciation.
all this stuff takes time! valuable time i could be spending at the mall! but instead....i am having a great time anyway.

suzy, i wish i could magically wave a wand and let you see that happiness is a very simple thing. it is simply a decision.
i have been to rajasthan and met people living in the desert, in mud houses with no roofs and the very simplest of belongings....and all filled with a joy that humbled me.
i saw a naked child burst from a tent made of rags and bits of plastic sheeting, in the dust on the side of the road, and whirl a blanket around like a dervish dancer...shouting and singing and laughing and dancing for the sheer joy of being alive.
it absolutely blew my mind. i wish i could send some of that to you.

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

First of all, congratulations on already decluttering so much, Suzy! :o)

I think it's pretty normal to try to get out of a rut, to be whimsical, and to want to improve your current self and our lives in a way (be it make up or hair rollers or an iPod or a potted plant). I think the 'flow' or 'sequence' of this is different for every person. Some are happy wearing the same pair of jeans for up to a month and others match their make up to their different outfits. Some get a new haircut, some paint their rooms a different color, some buy new technical equipment. And some eat the same cheese toast every day for breakfast, and some need a different breakfast for every weekday. (I think if you counted your breakfast choices, you would probably not get more than 10 -- so you have a 'sequence' of 10 breakfasts in 7-10 days, whereas your mom has a sequence with only one item, so it gets repeated daily. You get the idea.)

When you approach this from the "Unclutterer" view, evaluate whether you really use the hair curlers regularly, whether you manage to water that plant from time to time so it doesn't die, and whether there is time in your morning routine to apply that make up (and if it's worth it). If you get an item in a whimsy that is gone forever after the purchase and you never use the item, it might be good to evaluate the reason for buying it (you did admit to impulse shopping alreay, so there you go). If you are 'recurringly whimsical' (don't know how to put this better) and you know that you are not using the item now (like the iPod) but will eventually use it again for a while before turning to YouTube again, it's pretty normal, I think, because everyone has 'interest phases', like with the breakfast example. And when a certain phase doesn't reoccur because sometimes, you and your life and needs change, you can then question why you still own the item and then declutter it.

Suzy, you're saying "Maybe I'm trying to fill up a void. The past couple of years and even now I'm not happy with me and how my life is turning out.", and you already eliminated the shopping temptation, which is great. It could be a good idea, too, to take a few hours and to get to the root of the problem. I don't mean to sound all life-guru like "create an action plan" and "fulfill your dreams" and "set life goals" and stuff, but sometimes identifying and acknowledging a problem is half the battle :o)

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

bandicoot, your last paragraph there is pure gold, I think you did wave that wand ;o)

Posted 2 years ago #
Suzy
Member

@ bandicoot:
After reading what you posted I took a look at my book shelf. On there are books I've reread 3, 4 or 10 times (books I would replace if I lost them in a fire tomorrow or else rent them at least twice a year) and books I've once read once.
For me there's the problem; when is a book worth keeping? How often do you have to reread a book in order for it to earn a place in your home?

I face the same situation with CDs. (Sometimes I'm having an interest phase and sometimes I don't)
How often do you have to listen to a CD?
How often does the phase have to reoccur, as trillie put it? I guess that's personal, and I haven't set my 'quota' yet.

I read about 80 to 95 books a year. (last year I rented from the library and then read over 80 books - and I also read books I own and books family owns). Looking over my list of items I did rent between 9-12-2006 and now (289 items - my library allows patrons to check their lending history) I do see repeats.

During my purging period I got rid of books I didn't read often while the library did own them so I could lend those, but I also own books that aren't available in the library (or in the neighbour libraries for that matter), so if I did want to reread them I couldn't lend them.

I'd love to live simply to the point where I own less stuff and just rent stuff if I wanted to.

Your last paragraph really stood out to me, bandicoot. I don't understand how I can enjoy the small things in life (rain, sunshine, nature, a walk, a song of one of my favourite bands coming out of a window while I'm walking on the street) while I still want to drag so much more stuff in my life.
I don't buy so much anymore, but I am often tempted to buy things - even though I spend a few weeks getting rid of boxes loaded with stuff I bought on impulse.

I'm quite good at being introspective, so I think I'll take your advise trillie and spend some time on thinking about what would be my 'remarkable life' as Erin would say it.

Posted 2 years ago #
ArtGal
Member

@ bandicoot...you are SO correct! I have worked with children that have very limited resources and possessions and they are so creative, intuitive, and happy with what they do have. I have also worked with children that have it all...many are "bored," possessive, and UN-happy. Of course this does not in any way pertain to ALL kids in each category...it's not a blanket statement and all situations are different, but it is a general conclusion from a 30 year teaching career. There is definitely something to be said for "less is more." If you haven't seen the movie "Babies," I think it illustrates this point quite beautifully.

So Suzy, keep on doing the work...it is SOOOOOO worth it (even if it is initially painful and hard.) I had the "whimsy" as well...with hard work and practice I now have "selective whimsy." :)

Posted 2 years ago #
Sky
Member

bandicoot, beautiful story.

There are studies showing people all over the world in varied living conditions that show happiness is a state of mind. Are we so caught up in materialism and being busy that we don't see the true happiness we all have?

The fewer distraction I have the more relaxed and peaceful my life seems. I don't want to be busy all the time or spend my life taking care of things.

Posted 2 years ago #
maryann
Member

Hi Suzy,

I spent too many years trying to be somebody I was not, and embarassingly, many times to please/ interest/ fit-in with a current boyfriend.

I decided to "be into" jazz one time. Or to love country music. (I bought 2 pairs of cowboy boots too.) Another time (and boyfriend) I decided to "be totally into" the Greatful Dead. Yet another time (and another boyfriend) I was a Party Girl, and in way over my head. In reality, I'm not any of that. I like everything a little bit- and nothing too much.

Anyway, finally, I was single again. I wore a little button that said "ME" on it as a reminder never to be anything I wasn't. And so what if I'm kind of boring, and not "into" anything...

Now I married to someone who likes ME for exactly who I am. Who am I? I don't fit into any of the molds...I'm just me.

And Suzy, find Yourself. You don't have to BE anything or LIKE anything. Just be you, whatever that boring or electic or regular person that is. And the rest will fall into place.

JMHO :)

Posted 2 years ago #
Claycat
Member

Bandicoot, wonderful story! Sky, I wish I could make up my mind to be happy! Maryann, I'm glad you found the real you!

Terriok, Peace! :)

Suzy, good luck on your journey!

Posted 2 years ago #
Suzy
Member

Thanks for all the posts. :-)
I cleaned my room today, storeing all things I don't really like out of sight, including some books and CDs. Maybe I'll end up using them anyway, maybe I won't.
I also rearranged everything as moving stuff around, storing stuff in different places always makes me reappreciate the presence of the items, makes me notice them more.
I may end up throwing some stuff out. Like that awful foundation and lipstick I'm not using.

Maryann, thanks for the good advice. You're right, you shouldn't be into stuff because you think you have to.

I don't think I'll ever be a person who's static in their interests, but being changeable doesn't hurt I think, as long as you decide what you want in life and what you don't really need.

Posted 2 years ago #
chiwi
Member

suzy - are we related LOL?? you seriously described me to a T. i'm an impulse shopper too. my addictions are the dollar stores and "oh that's so cute" stuff. i've had an affair with the craft store for YEARS. it's gotten to the point where i've learned how to do almost everything. like i wanted to be a jewelry designer so i bought everything beads/supplies/tools related.. made some designs for a month... then abandoned it when painting caught my interest. the cycle repeated and now the new thing i'm into kawaii stickers.

from your original post i'm assuming you're very young? i'm 22 and i feel very whimsical. i think it's just part of being young and finding myself and who i want to be when i'm a "grown up". ;)

Posted 2 years ago #
Suzy
Member

I'm 23 (and still living with my parents ... ouch. What can I say, living space is hard to get here when you're a student). Craft stores and me have had the same relationship you have had with them. I threw out a lot of crafts stuff I bought on impulse or that I kept 'because I might need it someday'(stuff I had kept for 7 years or so).
Right now my interest lays in origami card making and I no longer feel the need to add more stuff to my crafts materials.
Maybe being whimsical is indeed part of character building. I still don't know who I want to be when I grow up. Less unorganised I presume ;-) .

(What are kawaii stickers? :-) )

Posted 2 years ago #
Another Deb
Member

I carried around this Frank and Earnest cartoon for many years. It said "In my life I decided I could only make one person happy. I picked ME!"

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

LOL -- "What are kawaii stickers? :-) " *insert dramatic soap opera theme music here*

Posted 2 years ago #

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