Not to nitpick, but consumables are items that get used up. Pottery, ornaments, hand made cards and paintings do not get used up; they are objects with the intent to be displayed. :)
Overall Rating: 1 vote
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Nice list, djk!
Unless someone knows in great detail what I need of toiletries (don't have any extra storage so it's basically only the bottles opened that I'm able to keep around) and what brands I use, I don't like them as gifts.
Scented candles are a complete no-go for me, as I can't stand having that much of a scent around me. Sometimes I even get a headache from simply walking past a section filled with that type of candles. Normal candles I'd classify as consumable though, but nowadays I'm a bit reluctant to give them to others as not everyone likes them as decorational elements.
An "open" gift card to some type of recurring event such as the movies is fine, but I almost cry when someone gives me a ticket that is for a specific date or valid only a specified amount of time. I do so many things based on feeling and if something like a year-long card is gifted, I feel forced to "perform" in my free time as well. Sound silly?
An "open" spa certificate however is most welcome, because that's pure relaxation and right now it's completely outside of my budget. Same goes for a restaurant certificate.
Personally, I wouldn't dream of giving some decorational or functional objects unless they are something the recipient truly wants (they have asked for it) or I know for sure it goes with their style and wishes (goes basically for family members only).
My conclusion therefore is to give something to eat or drink with a few, very selected exceptions.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I don't feel guilty at all, if i don't like it or use it I don't keep it. I don't toss it the minute the giver walks out the door, but shortly afterwards!The only reason that might have made me feel guilty in the past was the money the giver spent on it. Mostly anyone who gives me a gift knows me well enough to know what I like, though. Except my Mom, of course..lol.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I should add that I don't feel very guilty anymore, at least not the way I used to, but what *really* bugs me is my moral codex or whatever. I simply can't throw things out that still can be used, so it becomes my problem to find a new home for the unused gifts. And for this I almost resent the people, because they really should know me by now.
Posted 1 year ago # -
My favorite gifts to receive are: music and books, and I also enjoy gift certificates to restaurants. I absolutely LOVE music (as you can probably tell from my username) and I love when people put together a mix CD that they think I will enjoy, etc. I also love when they give me a book that they think I will like. Gift cards are great to restaurants because then my husband and I get to enjoy a dinner out together :o)
I love to give Harry & David's gift baskets. I feel like at least people are being given snacks/treats that they enjoy and get used up. I have always gotten great reactions from sending gift baskets around the holidays. (It also helps me out because it is one less gift to lug around on Christmas and people get to enjoy it mid-month before they are inundated with candy and cookies!)
@ninakk - I know what you mean about feeling the need to keep things that can still be used. I have the same problem!
Posted 1 year ago # -
lol JuliaJayne I got caught up in the "what I love to receive" thought and shortly forgot about the consumable aspect;) Although it has to be said that the cards I am given are in handmade boxed sets so they are what I use as thank-you cards and birthday cards etc. I also use the blank ones for letters to friends. So they get used up rather quickly indeed and I am always running short, or out! And I don't have kids so I love having children's artwork in my home, but it has a short shelf-life. But about the pottery and Christmas ornaments, you are absolutely right! (they get to stay on my personal love-to-receive list though)
Posted 1 year ago # -
I have made it clear for a long time that when people give me gifts, they're mine, and I'm likely to take them straight to the thrift store.
I think it hurts my partner's mother's feelings, but then it hurts my feelings that, even though when asked I say don't give me things/maybe just small things/please donate to charity instead they go ahead and buy a bunch of stuff.
It is frustrating to have to deal with as a parent, though. When he was a baby I could be ruthless with the gifts but now they just end-run me and give stuff directly to my son. Then we have to go through the whole rigmarole (okay, kiddo, your toy box is full. What's going away to make room for the neato shiny thing grandma gave you?) It's a lot of work doing that. Though I guess it's good for him to learn.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I hate sacred trust gifts. If you give me a gift, I thank you and do with it whatever makes me happy. That IS why you gave me something, right? If that isn't your reason for giving me something, then you have deeper issues than I'm willing to deal with, anyhow!
My favorite go-to gifts - a bottle of wine from a local vintner, any kind of homemade baked good, really good chocolate, or fresh flowers. Consumable gifts rule!
Posted 1 year ago # -
I avoid feeling guilty by passing it on as a gift to someone else. My brother and sister, who are 8 and 5, love taking anything their big sister doesn't need. :)
Posted 1 year ago # -
@jbeany Bwahahahahaha okay who wants to tell her about the cat quilt?
(Never mind, just go over here and read it: http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-personalized-items-you-no-longer-want)
Personally, I much prefer your idea of a go-to gift: a friend of my husband's won my undying devotion by bringing me chocolate truffles from her favorite shop in Belgium.
Posted 1 year ago # -
LOL! He's such a lucky boy!
My ex's family is big into giving gifts that they look for whenever they come over, too. His grandmother gave us a bedroom set, with an enormous dresser topped with a 5 foot by 6 foot mirror. You couldn't actually store much in it - it was all glass, hardly any drawers. You could barely move in the bedroom with it in there. Eventually, I convinced hubby to let me give it away. MIL found out and had a fit, When she couldn't change my mind about giving it away, she insisted that we both swear to never, never tell his grandmother that we didn't still have it. You would think I was giving away a precious family heirloom. It wasn't even real wood - just pressboard and laminate garbage from a big box store.
Ahhh, the things I've tossed since the divorce! Dozens of tile/wood/plastic doodads with the Serenity Prayer on them. It if wasn't that, then it was that Footprints poem. (MIL hasn't been to church in 40 years. Ex and I didn't attend either, so no idea why the religious theme.) Framed poems that started out with the headings "Son" and "Daughter-in-law." A million crocheted dish rags - something I never use. A million cutesy things (What was with the ladybugs? Please, someone let me know!) that were never, ever my taste. MIL may have been looking for the gifts she gave me when she came over to my house, but she never spent any time looking at what I picked out for myself!
No guilt at all while tossing or donating any of it....not even a tiny bit! I love my ex MIL dearly, but her talent for gift-giving needs some serious work!Posted 1 year ago # -
jbeany--you go, girl! Keep tossing. I hope the divorce is more recent than mine (12 years ago and still finding reminders).
Your ex MIL sounds like my 2 SIL's (BF's sisters). IMHO, I think that the real issue is not wanting to hear "no" or "this is what I like"???
We live in the same small city and believe me, they can and do check on their gifts. My suggestions for a wish list or drawing names at Christmas are not welcome.Posted 1 year ago # -
Belgian truffles! Oh yes!
I think what some people don't get about consumables is that often they might not even be that expensive, but because they are luxury items, you just don't buy them for yourself. A ten dollar box of truffles or a half-bottle of dessert wine, or a bottle of really good red - or even a miniature of spirits - these are things I would really enjoy because though I buy chocolate, it's always in bars and preferably 'on special' !
Sometimes I try to put together a 'pamper pack' with a book, chocolate or candy, teabags or miniature alcohol, and bath bubbles or similar.
Someone told me that it was ungrateful not to like a gift! Like, somehow you HAVE to make yourself LIKE that item? (I kinda gave up on pursuing the discussion, about someone's particular taste that I was worried about buying for, because they were so adamant about it.) I'm tempted to give them a particularly ugly statue from a religion they don't approve of.....
Posted 1 year ago # -
@klutzgrrl
LOVE the idea of the pamper pack! awesome! a few years back I broke both feet at the same time and my friends rallied around with great stuff--mags, chocolate, ice packs, dvds, wine, great company. I never felt so loved. Or in so much pain.Posted 1 year ago # -
Klutzgrrl-- A particularly ugly statue from a religion you don't approve of? I have one of those from my in-laws, too!
Posted 1 year ago # -
I did have a drawer to keep the more 'interesting' items I was given, and then got rid of them a year later. I
Posted 1 year ago # -
djk, how in blazes did you break both feet simultaneously? Some kind of accident? none of my business just curious!!
We have been spared the tchochkes. Thank goodness. We live far enough from respective families that few have visited, and when we visit them we are all more likely to exchange dinners out than "gifts."
I had a co-worker give me a couple of things when she was clearing out her house to move, and sure enough she checked up to see if I still had them (I kept one of the two). I had to give her the whole spiel about decluttering. Y'all these were things that she would have given to Goodwill! Why did she care if I kept them? So funny.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I generally ask myself three questions to decide if it's a keeper:
1. It is utilitarian?
2. Is it actually decorative (i.e. I like the way it looks)
3. Does it have sentimental value.If I can't answer "yes" to any of those questions, I have no problems getting ride of it.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I sometimes get these things from relatives who live far away. They often pay more in postage than they paid for the thing! Please, no more.....
Posted 1 year ago # -
@ chacha1--running down the stairs in high heels. Yup. Ass over teakettle, both feet broken.
as a result though my shoe collection is relatively uncluttered now. Got this radical idea that if I can't walk in them I can't buy them. Like all good ideas, I sometimes ignore that rule to my detriment. Sigh. I do love pretty shoes.
Posted 1 year ago #
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