... that a friend/family member gave you? I really don't like "knick-knacks" and feel bad getting rid of the ones I receive as gifts. However, I can't stand the thought of displaying items that clutter up my home. Usually I end up giving these items away.
How do you handle these sorts of items? (I don't even give gifts like this because I know how much I dislike them and don't want people to feel obligated to display them).
I look at it this way. Why should I keep something that I don't want? Currently, my wife and I are moving to a new home and I want to keep the decor in my den to a minimum. I not only to reduce visual clutter, but reduce the time it takes to clean. I won't lie. At one time, I collected knicknacks and displayed almost everything at once. It's also amazing how fast knicknacks can accumulate.
Now, If I get a knicknack I do like, something else will have to go or I can simply display one item for a while, then take that down and display another. Ideally, I would like to just have one or two simple pieces in the room.
So, no the musiclivez, I don't feel one iota of guilt, nor will I allow anyone to make me feel that way for getting rid of something I don't want.
No guilt...I know things were given out of love and that is really the thing I hold on to...not the tangible possession. I usually box the items and donate them...and I've truly never had any gift-giver ask where the item is when visiting.
Thank you for your responses! They make me feel better - I sometimes feel guilty because I won't be displaying the item that was given to me. I just don't like knick knacks and don't want extra clutter in my home!
When asked what I want for Christmas or whatever, I usually suggest a gift card to my favorite restaurant. I don't always get what I want though! I have become ruthless with unwanted items. If I can't sell it on eBay, and regifting is not an option, then off it goes to the thrift store.
It'a too hard to declutter and downsize to ever want to go back.
Amy I love the idea of a restaurant gift certificate!
a girlfriend of mine requested these as wedding gifts, as they had been together for a while and had all their household things already. What a brilliant idea! They ended up getting about 12 and so for the next year got to go out to great places every month that they normally wouldn't splurge on.
It sounds terrible, but I almost wish I could do away with gift exchanging completely. I have tried to in the past (I'm 27 years old, I don't need to exchange birthday/Christmas gifts with my friends). I know it's the thought that counts but I just hate being wasteful!
Dear Music Lives...
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, we used to bake cookies and put them in pretty tin containers and give them as gifts.
If you are organized and have a freezer, you can start your baking a few months before Christmas.
Or, you can buy a bag of Herseys kisses and some pretty tissue paper and that skinny ribbon that curls when you run over it with scissors.
Your friends will love it and you will have more love invested in the gift than anything else.
Amy, that is a fantastic idea! That's what I would want to do, more than just buying things for the sake of buying them. Those are the kinds of gifts I enjoy giving!
Your friends probably feel the same way about giving gifts, and if you started doing something like this that was inexpensive, they will appreciate it.
Here's another idea for family giving...
Draw names and do a gift exchange so you only have to buy one gift. As you and your sibs/cousins marry and have children, exclude the adults and only do a children's gift exchange, with each drawing one name. Set a monetary limit of $10 or $20.
Another fun thing to do is a "White Elephant" gift exchange. For years our church group did this and it was hilarious. We would bring back certain gifts for regifting each year, and the "gift" everyone coveted most was a carved coconut head.
If I don't have time to make something myself, I usually give something edible, unless I know a specific thing someone needs or has been coveting. Nowadays, I rarely receive anything I don't like, which is a huge relief. I know it's a luxury problem in one sense to even talk about this, but on the other hand it's a major source of stress for more people than I care to think of, as well.
I don't love the gift-giving thing--it can be so expensive, and only done because we 'have' to do it on certain occasions. Several years ago my sister instituted a rule in her family that every gift had to be either repurposed from a thrift store, or, preferably, handmade. I loved that. I would like to get back to that. For a few years I lived near you-pick berry fields and I would make jams to give away, and I make soap so everybody gets soaps and body products for Christmas and birthdays. My DH and I gave each other museum year memberships for Christmas this year, and for our birthdays we had a trip to Budapest (a city we love). I have also done the baking thing (I love to bake)in years past. As for receiving, I like magazine subscriptions as I don't hoard them, but love to pore over my favourite Canadian decor mags over and over(best mags ever? Style at Home and Canadian House and Home!)
I think there is something so warm and lovely about an elegant handmade gift. There is a nostalgia about it. Somehow even the most expensive purchase is cheapened next to something handmade. (DH,if you are reading this, I don't really mean that. I want those diamond earrings. Kisses! Love you)
DB gave me a border collie puppy 6 years ago...I love her so much...willing to overlook the shedding. DB also made me an oil painting, and I wouldn't trade either gift for anything else. Not even a larger diamond ring!!
I'd like to do handmade gifts or a name exchange in DB's family. It seems like we have reached a compromise, because some of his family buys gift cards for us. A few really enjoy giving me clutter and are very hurt if I don't show appreciation (which to them means joy and having the item on permanent display). These folks live in the same town, and do check every gift they give us......ideas, anyone????
sunshine, i think the only way to deal with this is to sit down and calmly and kindly and honestly explain to them why you simply cannot display or even keep every single thing you've ever been given.
tell them it doesn't align with your values.
tell them they don't have to give you stuff to show their affection. if they want to give you something, ask that it be an experience or a consumable.
Thanks, Bandicoot....I'll give that a try.
I never feel guilty about giving something away...so I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
My family knows that I hate clutter, but I still love shopping, so they think it's fun to give me gift cards. I do too :)
I'll be honest here. My wife and I just got married, and our biggest fear was getting a bunch of things that we already had or simply didn't need. We asked people just to bring themselves for fellowship and a great time.
We were given gift cards and some money at the wedding and that's fine. However, gift giving or receiving was not intended to be the focal point of our day. We will, though, put the gifts cards and money to good use at a later date for home improvement. Someone did give us a utensil set and we kept out of that only what we needed.
Point being, I would rather just spend quality time with friends and family, eat, drink and be merry. This goes for the holidays as well. Truthfully, I'm at a point in my life where I no longer want to be given or showered with gifts. Tangible items fade away, but the memories of a great time last forever.
I am definitely going to try giving "consumable" gifts this year. I have been doing that with a lot of people but plan to do it even more. At least I know the people won't feel guilty "displaying" my gifts - they can eat them and then they will be gone!
SunshineR, I agree with what Bandicoot says: It's best to tell these family members that you are cutting back on clutter, that it doesn't go with your lifestyle choices, etc. I feel that if people don't understand that (after you have explained it to them) then it shouldn't matter if their feelings get hurt when you don't display the items. I think I have to take my own advice as well.
okay now it is June and Christmas is coming! (well, no need to panic quite yet)
but thinking about the tchotchkes others give us, it is good to think about how not to give them to others. Also, to name what we want that is clutterless makes it easier to recall ideas when someone asks us what we want
so what are your favourite consumable gifts? I will start us off. R to receive, G to give:
R handmade pottery from the potter
R my sisters' beautiful handmade cards
R gift certificates
R gift baskets, pretty food, truffle oils etc
R teas
R infused oils
R museum memberships
R handmade body products (soaps, scrubs, pretty smells and packaging)
R a weekend away
R spa certificates
R restaurant gift certificates
R candles
R homemade Christmas ornaments,
R paintings from my neices and nephews
G most of the above
G homemade jams and oils
G baking
G one special tree ornament, year by year
G gift certificates
G movie passes
G soap and body products I have made
G gift certificates for babysitting
so what else can people recommend to have clutter-free gift-giving? I know this has been touched on in another thread, but perhaps a tchotchke-free gift thread might be okay too
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